A Warm Place
by R Junkie
Summary: A continuation where the Anime left off. Kyo found some one to save him, but what about Yuki? Can anyone really save him from Akito? Now totally AU! Damn you, Takaya!
1. A Remembered Place

A Warm Place

Disclaimer  
I don't own Yummy Yuki or any Fruits Basket character.  
Fruits Basket belongs to Takaya Natsuki.

A continuation of the anime series laced with some obsessive hallucinations of mine.

_Italics_ thoughts

XXXXXX

Minutes passed as hours for Yuki Sohma, sitting alone at the living room's table, contemplating the events of the last week; when Kyo's secret had been exposed. When Yuki finally met the Cat's dreaded cursed form.

Another Sohma family secret, there seemed to be an endless supply of them.

But, regardless of the vulnerability that Kyo had shown then, to him and Tohru, he had reverted to his old callous self in no time.

Yuki figured that Kyo may have been too embarrassed with his uncharacteristic behavior, with the fact that he needed Tohru to call him back. That he had shared all those private thoughts and feelings about his mother with them. Kyo was such an unsociable person, he probably didn't know how to act in light of all of that.

Nevertheless, Kyo was acting a little nicer to Tohru now. He seemed more relaxed around her, an obvious result of her open acceptance of his curse. Though, his treatment of Yuki had not changed at all. Yuki was still very much the 'Kuso Nezumi'.

Yuki sighed; Kyo was not one to expect originality or variety from. Didn't he ever get tired of saying things like that?

The silver haired boy had thought himself changed as well. After seeing Kyo so vulnerable that night, he couldn't help but feel sorry for him. Maybe. But, he definitely viewed him as less than an annoyance. After all he did offer to settle their differences. That was why he had gone after his cousin in the first place. He wanted to prove to Kyo that even though the curse dictated they be enemies; they shared the same source of sorrow. That running away was not an option they should always resort to.

That Yuki wasn't just the callous, cold-hearted Rat. That he cared about his family.

It was unusual for Yuki to come to that sort of revelation. At first, he berated himself for it and thought himself weak for it, seeing that Kyo deserved only as good as he gave. But then, Yuki realized that he didn't want to follow Akito's orders to detest Kyo robotically. Part of getting out from under Akito's shadow meant to think and make decisions for himself. He had never really hated his rowdy cousin, but he found it so infuriating to deal with someone who was reluctant to learn that others around him were just as cursed as he was.

What would it take for Kyo to realize that? To finally give up this silly rivalry?

Regardless, the atmosphere at Shigure's small home was back to being pleasant once again. Shigure was most pleased with that.

Yuki sighed in the late afternoon sun.

Haru had come by to visit earlier, and after chatting with Yuki, he and Kyo had gotten into an argument which they unanimously decided to settle with a fight. Yuki could barely make out the sounds of violence coming from somewhere within the woods. Those two really were brawling idiots.

Tohru was out grocery shopping. She had asked Yuki to accompany her, to which he decline politely. He saw her wide smile falter for a second before promising to be back soon. Yuki's heart ached.

A small, selfish side of him, would not let him forget that she had not noticed the injury he had sustained that rainy night. That very same part of him, flared with jealousy at the extra attention she'd been given his rival lately. He would push those thoughts away, rationalizing that the injury was minor and that even if she had noticed, he would've shrugged it off and told her not to worry.

But she hadn't, and that hurt.

At the time, he had been somewhat numbed by what had happened. When Kagura was bandaging his shoulder, and when Tohru was sitting with Kyo, he hadn't really noticed. Now, he wondered why it was that he felt so hurt. How could he expect Tohru to be aware of everything? How could she be aware of everything and everything that happens to everyone when she was so frightened that night? Did he expect Kyo to apologize for it? Wouldn't he just laugh and celebrate causing his nemesis an injury? What did Yuki want?

He didn't know what it was that he wanted, just that it upset him. And so, he had unconsciously withdrawn from everyone, especially Tohru.

It was petty, Yuki knew that. Which bothered him even more.

When he accompanies Tohru to see Akito, it wasn't just because he wanted to ensure that she would stay with the family, but also because he wanted to stand against Akito and hope to win, for once. His selfishness was really detestable.

Presently, in the aftermath of that confrontation, he was apprehensive. Could Akito really be beaten so easily? Would Akito forgive them for not backing him? Would Akito just leave him alone? The Sohma Clan head tried to speak to him afterwards, but he nimbly avoided him.

Yuki frowned delicately as he coughed. Trying to hide the cold he seemed to have caught that night from the others was difficult. And he didn't know who he was punishing anymore, himself or Tohru. His self-pity was frustrating and he was angry with himself for feeling this way. He hated feeling guilty; it was a feeling he was all too familiar with.

Shaking his head sadly at that, he remembered Tohru's faltered smile. He didn't want to alienate the only person outside the family who had accepted him for who he was. It would be foolish to do so. He had to forget what happened and just move on. Surely, there were better times ahead.

Thinking of her again, he decided to try to patch things up. Maybe he should walk her to work later. Maybe they'd be able to talk as before. Maybe she'd smile for him.

That made his heart just a bit lighter and he decided to retire with that positive feeling. As he headed for his room, the phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Yuki…"Akito's voice dripped with…what? He always sounded like that; possessive, domineering and full of depraved lust.

"A-Akito? Wh-Why are you calling?" Yuki gripped the receiver tightly, trying to control his sudden fright. However this was Akito, who was able to detect the slightest tremor in Yuki's voice, and thrived on it.

"What's wrong Yuki? Why shouldn't I call you?" Akito asked, cooing nonchalantly and very aware of Yuki's distress. "I wanted to talk to you the other day, and you avoided me. That hurt me Yuki. You shouldn't have done that. It makes me think that you don't respect me at all."

Akito pause at that, smiling as he listened to Yuki's ragged breaths as he struggled to control himself. "Just like before Yuki, you stopped me. I wouldn't have had to hurt you."

"Y-you like hurting me." Yuki tried to argue but he was shaking too much.

"Yuki. Yuki. Yuki. You know that you'll always belong to me right? No one could ever love you like I do. Not even that ugly girl. Come back to me Yuki."

"No." Yuki shook his head, as if Akito could see his refusal. "And don't talk… about… Honda San that way…"

"Why not?" Akito asked, sounding annoyed. "You know that I always do what I want. You know that none of you can oppose me." The Clan head smiled as he thought of something, "Remember that time? I said those very words to you, Yuki. You were such a horribly selfish and ugly child. I always had to keep you in line and remind you of your rightful place."

Yuki's eyes widened impossibly.

"Yes, that place just for you. Where I disciplined you. You want to go back there? Just like that time, when you…" Akito went on to reminisce about all the discipline he had given Yuki, and one episode in particular that Yuki would rather forget. One of the many painful and frightening episode that Yuki had sought desperately to bury.

The terrified boy could say or do nothing but here Akito's poisonous words as they triggered his chest to tighten and his heart to leap to his throat.

"Do you think Honda San would like to know about that?" Akito ended with apparent glee. "What a miserable and filthy person you are? Do you think she would ever look at you again without disgust? Would anyone? Did you see how she betrayed you and went to that Monster's side? Do you think she and that Monster should be disciplined as well?"

At this Yuki's now nerveless fingers dropped the receiver, his hand going to his tightening chest. A feeble attempt at easing his breathing difficulty. He slumped against the wall, feeling the beginnings of a full-blown asthma attack. He hadn't had one since he left the Sohma main house three years ago.

"No." He whispered, knowing what the outcome of such a situation would be "No!" He had an inhaler in his room, he had to get it before Akito could... could…

Unable to take in oxygen, the world around him began to first spin then darken and he stumbled to the foot of the stairs, struggling to remain on his feet before falling to the floor wheezing. Tears of fear and panic streamed own his face, knowing that he was alone and that this could very well be the end for him.

It was too late to try to calm down, too late to try to reverse the inevitable. It was all he could do to fight the transformation and he was all alone and probably going to die and he was so petty and Honda San would blame herself and he never told her—

XXXXXX

What's going happen to Yuki? Isn't he Yummy?

Please review and be nice, my poor heart can't take it. 


	2. A Worrisome Place

A Warm Place

Disclaimer  
I don't own Yummy Yuki or any Fruits Basket character.  
Fruits Basket belongs to Takaya Natsuki.

A continuation of the anime series laced with some obsessive hallucinations of mine.

_Italics_ thoughts

XXXXXX

Kyo and Hatsuharu made their way back into the house and the previously quiet environment was suddenly filled with the sounds of arguing.

"What are you saying you, Octopus-head?" Kyo yelled.

"Exactly what you heard you, Kitty!" Black Haru taunted with a wide grin.

The two continued to argue their way into the living room and the hall. "Looks like the beating I just gave you wasn't enough, you brat!" Kyo steamed.

"Ha! You call that a beating? Man, if Shihan saw your form he'd…" As he replied, Haru spotted the fallen telephone receiver and bent down to pick it up when he saw…

"YUKI!" He cried, running over his beloved cousin's side and lifting him up into his arms. "Yuki! What's wrong?" He shook the older boy slightly, as a shocked Kyo looked on. Yuki was in no position to reply and Haru's only response was more wheezing.

Taking in Yuki's ashen face, panic-filled eyes and bluish lips, Haru easily realized what had befallen the other. "He's having an asthma attack!"

"What? Is it like last time during the marathon?" Kyo asked, his tone indicating that he didn't think the present situation was as serious as Haru thought.

"NO!" The younger teen snapped, "Call the Honke now!" Kyo opened his mouth to retort, then changed his mind and hurried to make the call.

"Hang on, Yuki." He said, turning to the boy in his arms, brushing sweat slicked silver strands back from Yuki's face. "Help is on its way. Hang on, please." The older teen's eyes were slowly glazing over, to Haru's growing horror.

_He's going to die here! _"Yuki, NO!" and the two were enveloped in a silver gray clod of magical smoke.

Panic began to cloud Haru's mind, and he knew that it was going to be very hard to care for Yuki now that he had transformed. Kyo was shouting over the phone but that didn't matter because the tiny animal in his palm was beginning to still, the movement of his chest now barely imperceptible.

"Hatori is on his way!" Kyo yelled as he hung up and hurried over. "What happened?"

"I don't know!" Haru was nearly in tears. Yuki couldn't die, he just couldn't. He had to calm himself. "Does Yuki have an inhaler or something?"

"How would I know?" Kyo replied immediately, looking away in disgust. "As if I've ever gone into that Damn Yuki's room or…"

"GO LOOK RIGHT NOW!" Haru hollered, leaving no room for further argument.

Kyo rushed upstairs to search for said item while all Haru could do was helplessly watch Yuki's wheezing become fainter.

Kyo's voice came from upstairs. "SHIT, I CAN'T FIND IT!"

Hatsuharu felt an immense coldness spread through his body as Yuki's last resort was no longer possible. Was he just going to watch Yuki die?

Kyo's feet thundered down the stairs, and shouted "What now?"

Thankfully, it was then that Hatori slammed the front door open and rushed in, panting heavily. "Where is he?" Usual bland voice tense and worried.

The white-haired teen hurried over, shoving Kyo out of the way and presented the small animal to the older man. Hatori's frown deepened on examining Yuki's form, then he took an inhaler out of his pocket and sprayed it over the small face waiting a few moments before repeating the process. "Come on, Yuki. Just one breath." Unable to tell if the medicine was beneficial or not, or if Yuki was breathing at all.

Haru's eyes were huge as he watched, looking down at Yuki then up at Hatori. Kyo approached the two slowly, afraid to ask how bad the Rat's condition was, and knowing the answer just the same.

Hatori examined the Mouse closely, and then sprayed a few more bursts of the inhaler. "I think he breathed it in." Noting slight chest movements. "But, I have to take him to the clinic." Haru nodded absently as Hatori gently took Yuki and hurried out, calling for someone to bring Yuki's clothes. Haru rushed past Kyo and collected Yuki's garments off the floor. Here, Kyo made note of Haru's red-rimmed eyes, and the few tears that dripped down escaped his eyes.

_What just happened? _Dazed, Kyo walked slowly to the outside, watching as Hatori's car sped away. He stood there for a few long moments, unable to find the strength or will to move his feet.

XXX

At the Sohma Clinic, Hatori gently put the Mouse down on the bed, feeling relieved at seeing a semblance of regular chest movements.

"The medicine's working now. He'll probably sleep for a while." He said not knowing if Haru was listening. He placed a Nebulizer mask close to Yuki and adjusted the drug's flow rate.

Even if Haru was just going to watch Yuki, he needed to know the cause of such a serious attack. He reached over for a chart and began to write some notes. "What happened?"

Haru shook his head. "I don't know. Me and Kyo just found him like that. No one else was around." He brought his hand up to stroke at Yuki's soft matted fur, pausing as he thought of something. "The phone was off the hook. A phone call?"

"What kind of call would give someone an asthma attack?" Hatori thought out loud as he continued to write. "Maybe he had the attack while on the phone."

Haru shrugged, muttering "Mystery" and returning to watching his cousin sleep, the worried expression never leaving his face.

The two sat in relative silence for sometime until Yuki transformed back to his human body. Hatori noted Yuki's uncharacteristic paleness but relaxed now that he could see that he was breathing regularly. The Doctor reached over to correctly position the mask over Yuki's face then cover him with a spare blanket. He then began to take Yuki's pulse; temperature and other needed vital signs.

The long cuts on Yuki's shoulder distracted Haru for a moment before relief brushed over him. He took one of Yuki's cold hands in between his.

"Can I stay?" He asked of Hatori.

"Fine." Answered Hatori, finished with his examination for now. "I want to take him to a consultant as soon as he's able, so I'll go make the appointment."

Haru nodded absently and returned to watching Yuki sleep. A few moments later, the sheer stress and anxiety of the last hour or so was just too much to hold in any longer. He lay his head down o the pillow next to Yuki's, and let the tears he'd been holding back free.

XXXXXX

I noticed that a lot of fics are written to revolve around Yuki and Akito. I guess a lot of people find that relationship um… interesting. I hope that 'A Warm Place' will be a little different in the end.

I tried to make the asthma attack as realistic as possible, as a pharmacist I have a reputation to uphold… BUT at the same time, there is only so much one could write in an anime asthma attack!

I would like to thank my first reviewers; Alexandra-Kyoko and Ssjgoddesschico. It is for them that I am updating now. Remember, the story is 90 written so I can post about 20 chapters already, but the more reviews, the sooner I'll post.

Review! No flames please. My poor heart can't take it.


	3. A Compassionate Place

A Warm Place

Disclaimer I don't own Yummy Yuki or any Fruits Basket character. Fruits Basket belongs to Takaya Natsuki.

A continuation of the anime series laced with some obsessive hallucinations of mine.

_Italics_ thoughts

XXXXXX

Haru senses Yuki's stirring, and looked up as the other struggled with his drooping eyelids, finally opening them with great effort. Haru smiled warmly at this, not bothering to wipe the tear tracks off his face and gave Yuki's hand a squeeze.

"Yuki…" He whispered happily, "You're going to be OK." He added when he saw Yuki's drowsy eyes moved around the room, trying to place where he was before returning to Haru's face. Under the mask, Haru could see Yuki's lips move, trying to form words.

He moved his freehand to stroke Yuki's check softly, "Don't worry now. Go back to sleep." Yuki's finger moved within Haru's grasp momentarily, whether trying to get loose or squeeze back was unclear, then he closed his eyes and returned to sleep.

Hatsuharu was still watching him when Hatori returned, with Momiji in tow.

"Yuki!" Momiji cried, "Is he OK? Haru? Hari? Is Yuki going to be OK?"

"He woke up for a minute." Haru answered quietly.

"That's good. Let him rest." Hatori added, looking over at Momiji in particular as the Blonde bounced past and sat himself at the foot of the bed. He observed the sleeping boy for a minute then turned his eyes over to Haru. "Are you OK, Haru?"

"Um."

A few moments later, Momiji stated "Yuki won't be happy when he finds himself here."

Hatori looked up from his work, unimpressed. "What else could we have done?"

Momiji looked unconvinced but said nothing more.

"TORI SAN!" Called a loud and boisterous voice and it didn't take a genius to know who had arrived. Hatori groaned and buried his face in his hands for a moment, not expecting Ayame to visit nor wanting to deal with his antics at the present. It would be impossible to hide Yuki's presence from his brother, and Hatori just knew that Ayame was going to make a scene either way.

"TORI SAN! IT'S TEA TIME!" The Jyuunishi snake's voice reverberated throughout the Honke's halls.

"Goddamn it Ayame!" Hatori suddenly got to his feet and threw the clinic door open. "Be quiet!" He snapped at the silver haired man.

"Ya, Tori San! You seem tense! Let me make you some tea to help you unwind."

"Ayame, get in here." Hatori pulled his cousin inside the room.

"Tori San, you're so forward! I knew that underneath that professional exterior was a love-machine that…" Ayame froze as he took in Haru's blank look and Momiji's sheepish one, and behind the two, lay his brother. Looking pale and unresponsive.

"YUKI!" He rushed over to the bedside, pushing everyone out of his way. "YUKI! Speak to me little brother!" He reached down to take Yuki's hand and began a passionate speech about perseverance and struggling against all odds and so on.

"Ayame! He needs to rest, so be quiet!" Hatori pulled him away from the patient. And Haru returned to his place, turning to give Ayame an annoyed glare.

"Tori San!" Ayame grabbed for Hatori's hands, "You must save my little brother!"

"He's fine, Ayame. He just needs some rest. Now sit down and be quiet or leave." Hatori said impatiently, pulling away and returning to his desk. Ayame didn't seem the least bit embarrassed as he looked around for a place to sit. Here, Momiji gave up his place at the foot of the bed and skipped over to sit on Hatori's desk.

They all sat together in relative silence, occasionally interrupted by Ayame being himself.

XXX

Kyo furiously continued to pace up and down the entrance hall, waiting for someone to come home.

"That Kuso Nezumi! Stupid Yuki! Pulling a stunt like that, scaring people." He muttered as he thought back once more to the terrified look on Yuki's face. Did Yuki think he was going to die? Kyo had nearly wanted to die that rainy night, when he had thought his entire life was over. _Stupid Yuki, what had happened?_

And now what was he supposed to tell Tohru? She was going to fret all over that good-for-nothing Rat, especially when things have been so peaceful lately. Leave it to that spoiled brat Yuki to ruin everything.

"Tadaima!" Tohru's soft voice called out as she returned from her outing.

She had rushed through the shopping. Yuki didn't look well earlier so she had been worrying about him all day. "Yuki Kun?" Tohru hurried to the kitchen to put the bags away, nearly running into Kyo on her way.

"Kyo Kun! I'm so sorry!" She began from behindthe bags, Have you seen Yuki Kun?" She glanced towards the stairs. "Is he in his room or…Kyo Kun? What's wrong?" The redhead looked agitated, and her heart fell.

"Where's Yuki Kun?" _Please let him be all right_!

"Feh." Kyo began, "That Kuso …Yuki, he had an asthma attack."

"Oh no! Is he alright? Is he sleeping upstairs?" Tohru asked fearfully.

"No, it was pretty bad. We had to call Hatori and he took him back with…HEY! LOOK OUT!" The news had shocked Tohru, and as she gasped her hands went up to her mouth, and dropped all the groceries. Kyo dove to the floor to salvage the groceries. "What are you doing?" He snapped at her.

"Is Yuki Kun alright?" She repeated, eyes huge and dewy. And Kyo couldn't bear to look at her anymore. He got to his feet and walked to the kitchen. "It was bad when me and Haru found him, but he should be alright now."

"We have to go see him!" Tohru exclaimed suddenly, turning to leave. Kyo pulled her back roughly. "Oi! Where do you think you're going?"

"Kyo Kun?"

"Do you think that bastard Akito is going to let you anywhere near the Main house? Did you forget what happened last time? We need Shigure with us at least!" As he finished speaking, he wondered why he had said 'we'. Why would he want to go see that Stupid Rat?

"But Kyo Kun. I have to know that he's alright." She insisted, "He hasn't been himself for a few days now and maybe he's been ill all along." She sniffled, " I shouldn't have gone out. Then maybe he wouldn't have been all alone."

Seeing her so close to tears made Kyo want to kill Yuki for making her feel this bad. _Kuso Nezumi. You don't deserve her concern at all. _

He took a deep breath to calm himself before speaking. "Let's call Hatori and see how he is for now." Tohru simply nodded and meekly followed Kyo to the phone.

Kyo kept his eyes away. Not wanting to see anymore tears. Gripping the receiver tightly, he dialed.

A voice much too perky for his liking answered.

"Oi, Momiji! Is Hatori there?" There was so squealing on the other end as Momiji went on to tell Kyo what had happened in elaborate details and Kyo moved the phone away from his ears, quickly getting angry.

It was here that Tohru motioned to him that she wanted to speak to the young teen and Kyo happily handed the receiver to her.

"Hello, Momiji kun? Is Yuki Kun alright?"

Squealing.

"So he woke up? That's wonderful. Thank Hatori San and Hatsuharu San for taking such good care of him."

Squealing.

"Ayame San as well?"

More squealing.

"That's wonderful. I want to come see Yuki Kun soon. I hope I can as soon as Shigure San comes home. If he does wake up again, tell him that we're very happy that he's doing well and that we're coming to see him soon." Pause. "Thank you, Momiji Kun. Good bye."

Tohru slowly put the receiver down, her head bowed low and her voice strained with emotion. "Momiji Kun says that Yuki Kun could've died."

Kyo was quick to tell her that it wasn't her fault but she seemed inconsolable. She returned to the kitchen to put the groceries away.

Kyo stayed out of her way, feeling awkward and angry. He watched her work, curing Yuki all the way. When she was through, she out her shoes on and sat on the front-door step, waiting for Shigure's return.

Kyo fully intended on waiting on the rooftop, where no one could see his tumultuous emotions, but hearing her quiet sniffling forced to stay.

_Damn it!_ "Stop crying! He's going to be fine. You know that Kus…Yuki, he's damn stubborn. You'll see."

She nodded absently, still sniffling. Finally fed up with the situation, he plopped himself down next to her.

The two sat together in silence, he watching her out of the corner of his eye, and after a moment's consideration, he hesitantly reached over to take her hand. It was just as soft as he remembered, and so small in his. Giving it a squeeze, he was pleasantly surprised when she tightened her grip on their joined hands.

The two waited together in silence, each preoccupied with their own thoughts and anxiety about one beautiful, Silver haired teen.

XXXXXX

Thanks for all the positive reviews, SharonToggle and Clone X.

I know that the chapters are short but I really want to drag this out as much as I can, evil aren't I? Is everyone in character? Have I completely screwed everything? I typed a bad word, can anyone find it? You'll need to speak a certain language first. Hehe, Oh well!

Well, as you can tell, I haven't even hinted at who will end up with who at the end. I want to keep people guessing as long as possible! And take some requests while I'm at it, though I know who I'm rooting for…

BTW, can anyone tell me where I can find Ninja Robots episodes? I'm missing some episodes and I've been looking all over and can't find them anywhere. HELP!

Ya, Yuki is so Yummy and Haru is such a sweety! Yum! Well, see you next time. Review! Fruits basket reviewers are just soooo nice!


	4. An Unwanted Place

A Warm Place

Disclaimer

I don't own Yummy Yuki or any Fruits Basket character. Fruits Basket belongs to Takaya Natsuki.

A continuation of the anime series laced with some obsessive hallucinations of mine.

_Italics_ thoughts.

XXXXXX

When Yuki finally came to, he found Eight pairs of eyes staring back at him, belonging to Hatsuharu, Momiji, Ayame, Kisa, Hiro, Kagura, Ritsu, and Hatori. His sleepy eyes widened in surprise and he tried to move back as much as he could into the bed.

Hatori was the first to speak. "I told you not to crowd him. Now, let me examine him."

Yuki could barely hear Hiro muttering that Hatori too had been crowding the patient. Yuki tried to sit up and push the mask off his face.

"Everyone out till I'm done examining him." Hatori stated as he helped Yuki with the mask. Everyone groaned in disappointment but left without argument.

"What happened?" Yuki asked as he sat up, finding his voice hoarse.

"You had an asthma attack." Hatori replied gruffly, handing Yuki a glass of water. "I think you should tell me what happened!"

Yuki immediately lowered his eyes, not answering. Instead playing with the paper cup.

Hatori sighed and took the cup out of Yuki's hands, not pushing the matter at the moment. Brining out his stethoscope, "Take a deep breath." And listened to the teen's breathing sounds.

"I had already explained to you that your condition would resolve with time, thus it's very rare for some one with your condition to have such a serious attack without just cause."

Yuki still said nothing and Hatori continued. "Hatsuharu and Kyo found you by the phone. Who was it?"

Yuki shook his head, his now haunted eyes glued to the floor. Hatori, finished with the examination, looked at the trembling boy and decided to let this go for now. It was quite clear who the culprit was.

"Your breathing sounds are not as strong as before, so I made an appointment for you with a consultant tomorrow. I want you to stay here under observation tonight."

It was then that Yuki finally looked up, and became aware of his surroundings.

"What am I doing here?" He asked, his voice heavy with fear. "I'm not staying here!" He stated firmly as he threw the covers off and began to slide off the bed. "Where are my clothes?"

Hatori remained seated, watching. "I understand that you don't want to be here…"

Yuki searched around for his clothes, ignoring the other man, who got to his feet and approached.

Feeling threatened by Hatori's presence Yuki retorted, "If you understand then why are you still standing in my way?" He spotted his clothes neatly folded on a nearby counter.

"I need to take a look at that also." Hatori said, pointing at Yuki's injured shoulder.

"It's fine. Now, get out of my way." Yuki swayed on his feet and walked to the counter, then began to dress; underwear and pants first.

"Yuki, you're not well. You need to stay here tonight."

The teen frowned and ignored him, and Hatori had had enough. Walking up to the other and shaking him slightly. "Don't be foolish! If those two hadn't found you, you'd be dead now. Do you understand?"

Yuki pushed Hatori's hands off and resumed dressing. "And what'll happen to me once Akito finds out I'm here, Huh? Did you forget how hard it was for me to leave in the first place?"

Sighing deeply, the Doctor leveled Yuki a serious look. "Akito already knows that you're here."

"WHAT?" Yuki's nerveless fingers dropped his shirt as he stared up at his cousin.

"It seemed like he was waiting for us when I brought you in."

Yuki slowly slumped to the floor. Unable to speak as his mind choose to replay the words Akito had spoken earlier that day.

"He planned the whole thing, apparently. There's nothing I can do, Yuki." Hatori's voice was sad. Resigned.

The silver haired Sohma began to tremble lightly. And the tightening of his chest returned accompanied with the same feeling of impending doom as earlier. Unconsciously, a hand went to his chest, trying to control the erratic breathing.

Hatori, sensing his distress, gently lifted him off the floor and helped him to the bed.

"Hatori…" One of Yuki's shaking hands reached out and grabbed hold of Hatori's arm. "Please. You have to help me…"

The Jyuunishi dragon stood still, frustrated with his inability to give Yuki the answer he needed to hear. But there had to be something he could do. "Listen, as your Doctor, your health is my priority. I'll do my best to keep Akito away until you're well enough to deal with him yourself."

Yuki didn't say anything in return, and his head remained bowed low in defeat. The sight tore at Hatori's heart. He had wanted to protect this generation from Akito's wrath. He knew that Yuki had already suffered terribly at the hands of the Sohma master, that all the healing Yuki had undergone while away from the Honke could easily be undone.

There had to be a way out, it wasn't fair.

Until he could see a solution, Hatori decided to focus on soething else. "Let me see your shoulder." He picked Yuki's shirt off the floor and put it on the foot of the bed. Yuki remained still under his ministrations. It didn't take much for Hatori to know the source of Yuki's wounds.

The clinic door was suddenly, but slowly opened by Hatsuharu. "Hatori-niisan. Yuki has some visitors." Moving out of the way, an anxious Tohru hurried in, followed by Shigure and a reluctant Kyo.

"Yuki kun!" She ran to the bedside to look Yuki over, and found him pale and looking quite unhappy. Still, he was breathing. He was alive. _Thank goodness!_

"Oh, Honda San!" Yuki, pleasantly surprised by her visit, tried to put on a happy face for her and tried to get to his feet when Hatori pulled him back down to the bed. "Stay still." He ordered as he reached for an ointment of some sort and began to apply it to the cuts.

"How are you feeling, Yuki Kun?" Tohru began, taking note of the 3 parallel gashes on Yuki's slim shoulder, a loud red against pale softness. _When did he get hurt?_ She thought frantically.

Shigure and Haru approached the bed side, while Kyo moved to the foot of the bed. Upon seeing Yuki's injury, then meeting his eyes for a split second, he turned away, feeling annoyance and some guilt at having cause such an injury. He was deeply affected and surprisingly, didn't even think about rejoicing for causing the Invincible Rat harm.

"Yuki kun, are you alright? " Shigure asked, his tone cheerful. "Ha San! Thank you for taking such good care of our precious Yuki."

Hatori snorted, and Yuki smiled slightly. "I'm fine, I'm sorry for scaring everyone."

When Hatori finished bandaging Yuki's shoulder, e got to his feet and looked straight at Shigure. "I want to talk to you."

"Huh?" Replied Shigure intelligently.

"Outside, Shigure." And the two men stepped out of the room, closing the door behind them.

The teens remained silent, all eyes on Yuki who was rotating his shoulder and trying to get comfortable on the bed. Tohru immediately propped the pillows on the bed, and helped Yuki get comfortable. She smiled warmly at him, but her mind was preoccupied with the cuts and the cause of Yuki's serious attack earlier. Kyo's glances were much more furtive than those of Haru, who boldly fixated on Yuki.

Haru finally spoke up. "Where'd you get those, Yuki?"

"It's nothing Haru." Yuki replied, though his voice sounded strangely unconvincing even to himself. He felt himself developing a headache at thinking where Haru's questioning was going to lead.

"What do you mean it's nothing?" Haru responded, his tone gaining an edge. "Looks like someone tried to rip your arm off!"

"Drop it, Haru."

Hatsuharu was taken back for a moment, but soon became angry. _Who is he protecting? Why would Yuki let anyone hurt him like that? Who would dare hurt Yuki? _The rage began to cloud his vision and thinking.

"Who is it Yuki? Is it the same person that almost killed you today?"

"Haru..." Yuki sighed.

"Hatsuharu San" Tohru began, sensing the building tension in the room. "Maybe Yuki Kun will tell us later, but now's he's tired and should be resting…"

Yuki turned to look at her, trying to hide the hurt in his eyes. _She really has no idea_. He thought sadly.

"Well, if there's some psycho out there after him, he should tell us right now!" Haru insisted, now Black and arrogant.

"Stop it, Haru!" Yuki's voice was icy. Even if Tohru was unaware, he really didn't want Haru putting any crazy ideas in her head.

"Why should I? How can you take this lightly?" He bowed his head for a moment, and when he looked back up at Yuki, his eyes were burning. "I thought you were going to die today! You can't do this to people! You will tell me right now who's the bastard who..."

"It was me!" Kyo interrupted, unable to take anymore. Tohru gasped. Haru's eyes promised pain. Yuki just looked sad.

"I'm going to kill you!" Haru stated simply as he swung at Kyo.

"Ano! "Tohru began nervously. "Please not here…"

But, Black Haru was beyond control. He kept his attack, swearing all the while. "Did you do it to him while you were both transformed you animal!"

"It's not like that!" Kyo dodged, not wanting to aggravate the situation any further. Knowing that he was not in a place where he could get away with violence.

"I don't need to hear your explanation you bastard, I'm going to send you to hell!"

"Listen to the story first, you idiot!" Kyo yelled.

Tohru's mind was spinning. _How could Kyo Kun ever hurt Yuki Kun like that?_ She pressed her memory, trying to remember when this happened, keeping in mind that the wound looked quite new. Then realized that Kyo had indeed hurt Yuki when he was in his Mononoke form. _I didn't know!_ She felt her heart tighten, and began to reprimand herself for letting such a serious matter escape her. Yuki had been hurt. _I was so busy with Kyo Kun that I didn't realize. _

"Haru, that's enough!" Yuki had pushed himself off the bed, rushed past Tohru and appeared between the two, spreading his arms and facing his younger cousin. "Enough!" The two combatants were surprised enough to pause in their battle.

"Why are you protecting him Yuki?" Haru snarled.

"Because, I know he didn't mean it." Yuki stated assertively.

Kyo's eyes widened with shock, while Haru looked unconvinced.

"I appreciate your concern, Haru." Yuki continued, lowering his arms. "But, Kyo didn't mean it."

Haru's eyes locked with Yuki's, searching for a hint of a lie. Anything to indicate that Yuki maybe be simply covering up for Kyo. His intense stare caused Yuki to eventually look away in discomfort. Feeling satisfied that it was indeed the truth, Haru's arms came around the fairer Sohma. "I was so scared." He mumbled into Yuki's hair. Yuki stood stiffly in Haru's embrace, quite uncomfortable with physical affection from his cousin, or from anyone in general, especially in front of Tohru and Kyo. Haru tightened his hold and Yuki felt wetness against his cheek and realized that Haru was quietly crying.

His embarrassment faded on remembering that Haru was the on who had found him. He was much too emotional, but still it was always nice to know that people cared. Yuki's troubled heart and he put his arms, albeit awkwardly, around his affectionate cousin. Yuki knew that he owed Haru alot, but that this was all he could do at the moment. Haru, feeling this, tightened his embrace in return

"It's all right." Yuki soothed, patting Haru on the back.

Kyo looked away uncomfortably, upset that Haru was blowing this out of proportion. That the Kuso Nezumi was a bastard, and that Haru always found it so easy to speak his emotional mind. There was something about the hug that caused his throat to tighten, and he almost wanted to join in.

Tohru wiped her eyes, crying out of worry for Yuki and shame for her neglect of Yuki. She swore to herself to make it up to him as soon as he would come home

Within the confines of Haru's hold, Yuki's shoulder began to throb, so he delicately pushed Haru away and moved out of his arms. Haru's tearstained eyes met his and Yuki smiled reassuringly before making his way back to the bed. Haru smiled back, and serenely followed.

Finding Tohru quietly sobbing, Yuki turned to her worriedly. "What is it, Honda San?"

"I'm sorry." She bowed, her face hidden in her hands. "I'm just so relieved that Yuki Kun is all right. And I'm so sorry for overlooking Yuki Kun's injury. I should've stayed at home with you today when I noticed that you were unwell, but I didn't and maybe if I would've stayed then..." She rambled until Yuki a hand on her shoulder.

"No." He shook his head in disagreement, "It's not your fault, so there's no need to cry." He smiled gently at her and wiped away some of her tears.

Tohru reached for that hand and held it closely. "I'm so happy that you're all right Yuki Kun!"

Kyo couldn't take anymore Yuki-loving, feeling sick to his stomach. _Kuso Nezumi, always the center of attention!_ He clenched his fist in anger. W_orrying everyone then acting all macho. If I have to go through something like this again, I'll probably just kill him myself. _

_Wait a minute? What the hell caused all this anyway? I deserve some answers after putting up with of this crap. _

"Oi." He started in what he hoped was a casual manner, turning away to look out the window. "So, what happened today?"

All eyes turned to him, but he wouldn't look at any of them, and thus missed the way Yuki's eyes widened in panic. And just like with Hatori, Yuki decline Kyo an answer.

Yuki's silence only further infuriated Kyo.

"Nothing?" Kyo asked mockingly. "I know you're a weakling but there has to be a reason!"

A grim faced Shigure and Hatori re-entered the room just as Yuki was about to reply. "Yuki, you should get some rest." Hatori stated.

Yuki looked down at his feet, not wanting everyone to leave, knowing that he was to stay behind.

"Eh? You mean Yuki Kun's not coming home with us yet?" Tohru inquired of the Sohma Doctor.

"He needs to stay here tonight for observation. He also has an appointment with a consultant tomorrow. I doubt he'll be able to attend school tomorrow."

"Oh." Tohru's hopes for a chance to make it up to Yuki fell and she saw how unhappy Yuki was. _I must not upset him further. He'll be able to come home tomorrow; I'll make him a wonderful dinner and help him out at the Secret base._

She put on her best smile and turned to him. "Then I'll see you after school tomorrow, Yuki Kun! I'll be waiting for you to come home." She reached for his hands and squeezed them. Yuki gave her a shy smile in return. "Thank you, Honda san."

She helped Yuki get under the covers and covered him with the blanket, finally registering that Yuki had been shirtless all throughout her presence. Kyo noted her blush with fury and disgust before turning away. Haru's eyes looked like they would devour Yuki.

Shigure smiled widely and bent down to look Yuki in the eye. "Yuki Kun! We'll be off now since you need to rest, but I'll be back to see you tomorrow. We leave you in HA San's capable hands." Hatori grunted. "Come on, Tohru Kun. Kyo Kun." Shigue motioned for the two teens to follow him. Kyo immediately stomped out while Tohru gave Yuki's hands one last squeeze before pulling away, smiling and waving good-bye.

"Yuki." Haru started after a few moments of silence "I don't know what happened today, but I want you to know that we are all here for you."

"Thanks, Haru." Yuki gave him a ghost of a smile, clearly preoccupied.

"KYO KUN!" An ecstatic Kagura could be heard as she pounced on her victim.

"HEY! GET OFF ME!"

"But, I missed you so much Kyo Kun!" Kagura shouted in return.

Yuki and Haru chuckled to themselves while Hatori shook his head in disbelief at the youngster's audacity.

And so Haru remained by Yuki's side for the rest of the evening, talking about nothing in particular in attempt to take Yuki's mind off his troubles, eventually ceasing the futile effort when realizing that Yuki just wasn't interested in listening.

Being in the Sohma house again, and in the clinic particularly, served only to remind Yuki of all the hard times he experienced. The illness and isolation. The beatings and ridicule at the hands of the Sohma Master. The dark room Akito used to 'discipline' him. It was ironic. As the Mouse, Yuki reigned over the other Jyuunishi, with power and influence. Yet, the moment he stepped back into the Sohma House or at the mere mention of Akito's name, all the insecurities and pain he harbored inside would spill out to overcome him. His Jyuunishi status didn't mean anything, because he was truly stupid for thinking that he could ever escape, and cowardly for never attempting to.

XXX

Late in the evening, and while many of the Honke's inhabitants were turning in for the night, Yuki's room was once again filled with his Jyuunishi comrades. Many wore concerned expressions and though it had gotten quite crowded, Haru did not give up his place by Yuki. Though overwhelmed by their presence, Yuki was grateful for their presence.

And eventually, the group was chased out of the clinic by a tired Hatori and a self-designated Ayame. Yuki wanted to ask his brother for the reason behind his stay, but knew that he would most probably receive a headache rather than an answer. Besides, the fact that Ayame seemed more subdued than usual was one for him not to challenge.

"Are you going to sleep, Yuki?" The older brother asked.

"Would you be able to sleep if you were in my place?" Yuki replied absently, looking out the window.

Ayame couldn't answer that, turning to give Hatori a helpless look, to which Hatori replied with a grunt then returning to his reading. Approximately twenty minutes later, Hatori excused himself, muttering an "I'll be right back". And the two brothers were left alone.

Ayame, getting tired of saying nothing, decided to make small talk. Surely there was no harm in that? "So, Yuki!" he started loudly. "How are the preparations going?"

"What preparations?" Yuki sighed.

"Aren't you going to be student president?"

Yuki nodded in agreement.

"How wonderful for both of us to have been class presidents in our high school days. It shows how alike we are!"

Yuki turned to glare at his brother. "I'm not like you."

"Why the attitude?" Ayame was a little miffed. "You have to admit that we share many wonderful qualities." he paused dramatically waiting for Yuki to inquire on the existence of such qualities. When Yuki ignored him, he continued. "We are both natural leaders! Well spoken and adored by all! Not to mention our incredible good looks which cause all those around to admire and envy us!"

"And that's a good thing?" Yuki inquired, exasperated.

"Of course, my cute little brother! Maybe you're too young to know the true gift behind it but are you telling me that you don't get special treatment because of your looks?"

Yuki frowned delicately and declined an answer.

"You see!" Ayame exclaimed triumphantly. "I know exactly what you're going through at this time, and if only you were a little less shy then..."

"Then what? Become a perverted exhibitionist like you? No thanks!"

"How rude of you, Yuki! How could you think that of me? Your older brother?"

"Because it's true." Yuki replied in the condescending tone he reserved just for his brother and Kyo.

"Humph! I see that my presence isn't appreciated." Ayame tried to look indignant as he left the room, intending on finding Hatori and acquiring more advice on brotherly relations.

"Good riddance." Yuki mumbled as he returned to looking out the window. His thoughts returned to the events of that afternoon. He was at the main house, alone, at night. _Akito…!_

It was then that Yuki heard footsteps outside the clinic door. The very same footsteps that haunted him his entire childhood. His heart began to pound violently and his mouth seemed to stop working as the door slowly opened and Akito appeared in the doorway, eyes dark and virulent. The pervasive fear Yuki felt now rendered him motionless, and he could only watch as Akito walked in, closing the door behind him, then locking it as an afterthought.

XXXXXX

Mwahahaha…. EVIL I AM SO MUCH!

Finally, the long awaited meeting, but what will happen?

Why do we all assume that Yuki wears boxers? What a bunch of perverts we are! Thinking about boys' underwear. Tsk Tsk Yuki probably doesn't wear any!

Virulence. Sorry I try to keep my studying out of my writing, but I failed, especially since I'm revising anti viral drugs. AH the Agony!

Thanks for all the reviews. Really, I'm so happy. Thanks to Ssjgoddesschico, Yanagi-sen, Kumagorou , SharonToggle, Clone X, and pannybaby123.

And Yanagi-sen, don't worry, though more reviews would definitely be an incentive to post, I already plan to post every week or two or so. But that doesn't mean that I don't like reviews!

Ssjgoddesschico, I hope the font's Ok now. Domo.

Ahh! Haru is soo sweet isn't he? And Yuki as Yummy as always!

Review! Review! Review! Review!


	5. A Hurtful Place

A Warm Place

Disclaimer I don't own Yummy Yuki or any Fruits Basket character.

Fruits Basket belongs to Takaya Natsuki.

A continuation of the anime series laced with some obsessive hallucinations of mine.

_Italics _Thoughts

XXXXXX

_NO! NO! NO!_ Yuki's mind screamed.

As Akito looked down at the terrified boy, a smile slowly grew across his lips, clearly displaying his depravity. He walked to the bed, slowly and purposely, his eyes locked with Yuki's and loving the growing terror he found reflected back in those large purple pools. He reached out to frame the soft face before him, the contact snapping Yuki out of his trance and he moved away from Akito's cold clammy touch, until he was nearly lying back against the pillows. Akito moved as to hover over his cousin, nearly lying on top of him.

Yuki groaned in protest and turned his head away as the hand continued to stroke his face, occasional tangling in his hair.

"Are you not feeling well, Yuki?" Akito asked with mock concern.

Yuki didn't reply. His eyes were clenched tight, trying to ignore the Jyuunishi Master's cold hands.

"Hmm?" Akito began. "Are you unwell, Yuki?" His hands forcing Yuki's face back to look back at him. "Open your eyes. I want to see your magnificent eyes, Yuki." He commanded.

"Akito. Please…" Yuki whispered as Akito's hand tangled in Yuki's hair, as if savoring its softness before grabbing a fistful of it "I said, open your eyes." He said edgily.

Yuki opened his eyes slowly. And Akito was again pleased to see fear in those eyes.

"I missed you, Yuki." Akito cooed, "You've grown up so much." He trailed his hand down Yuki's chest slowly, tracing the tight ridges of muscle and pulling at one of his nipples, Yuki's eyes widened in shock "And become much more of an adult." His hands drifted lower. "Much more of a man..."

Yuki's inhaled sharply as his eyes followed the path Akito's fingers were taking. "But, you're still as beautiful as when you were a child. In fact, I'd say you're more beautiful than ever, Yuki." His fingers lingered over Yuki's groin area under the sheet, as he looked up to meet Yuki's shocked eyes, smiling ferally this time.

Yuki's mouth was moving, trying to find his voice. Akito found it amusing, "What's wrong, Yuki?"

"…no."

Akito frowned. "What did you say?"

Yuki's body shook noticeably, and his eyes were unable to leave Akito's. "Don't ... touch me… like that."

"You don't want me to… touch you?" Akito repeated, in a challenging tone, his hand pressing down against the sheet.

Yuki slowly looked down at Akito's hand then back up, dread and panic still evident on every inch of his face, and he struggled for a long moment. Eventually succumbing to the overwhelming fear and found himself unable to speak under Akito's scrutiny, so he just shook his head.

It was a slight move but Akito noticed. He growled and grabbed a fistful of Yuki's hair pulling him up to a sitting position. "What did you say?"

Yuki didn't reply, only trying to keep his hair from being ripped out.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY?" Akito screeched while shaking the other. When there was still no answer, Akito's rage reached it zenith and he yanked Yuki's head down to the floor. As Yuki fell off the bed, his face impacted the bed side-table before falling face down on the floor. He moaned in pain and put his hand to his bruising face and bleeding nose. Akito didn't seem aware of Yuki's state and continued his tantrum.

"YOU DARE? YOU DARE SAY NO TO ME?" He screeched, grabbing a chair as he towered over the prone teen.

"Akito!" Came a cry from the other side of the door. "Open the door!"

Akito ignored it and flung the chair, striking Yuki's back and shoulder with a loud 'Thwak'. Yuki, who had been trying to get to his feet, immediately crumbled under the added injury.

"OPEN THE DOOR!" Hatori yelled from outside, trying the doorknob repeatedly then banging against the door.

Akito bent down to grab Yuki's hair again. "YOU OWE ME YOUR LIFE, RAT!" He shouted in Yuki's terrified face. "YOU DARE SAY NO TO ME? I'LL TEACH YOU TO SAY NO TO ME AGAIN!"

"I'LL SHOW YOU!" Yuki tried to pull his hair away from Akito's madman grip, and had barely began to pull away when the door swung open and Hatori, Haru and Ayame stumbled in.

"YUKI!" They all cried simultaneously. Hatori and Ayame ran to Akito's side, each seizing an arm and pulling him away from Yuki. "Akito, please!" Ayame pleaded, horrified. He had never been privy to a display of Akito's wrath.

"LET GO! I'LL SHOW HIM!" Akito struggled in their grip.

"Take Yuki outside!" Hatori yelled to be heard over Akito's ranting.

Haru hurried to his cousin's side, helping him to his feet. He took one look at Yuki's face and nearly went Black; Yuki's nose and face were bruised & bleeding. Haru struggled to keep his darker personality from taking over, Yuki needed him right now. He had to stay focused. When Yuki's attempted to take a step, he wobbled dangerously and on realizing that he would not be able to walk, Haru simply hefted him into his arms and ran out of the room.

"LET ME GO!" Akito tried to break free, wanting to keep Yuki in the room.

"Please calm down, Akito." Hatori pleaded.

"That Rat." Akito spat, furious. "I want him in the dark room." Hatori froze and Ayame gasped dramatically, then paused, realizing that he had no idea what Akito meant. He will have to ask Hatori later. "No one is to see him or speak to him." The Sohma clan head ordered.

"But…" Ayame began, understanding that whatever the dark room was, it involved a terrible isolation. Akito turned to give him a dangerous look. "I said no one!" He pushed the two men away roughly and stomped out of the room.

"Tori San, we have to do something!"

"He'll let me treat him." Hatori stated, getting an ice bag and filling it, then turned to look at the Jyuunishi members that had gathered at the door. "All of you, back to your rooms before Akito sees you!"

"Is Yun Chan going to be ok?" Kagura asked, spotting the blood drops on the clean clinic floor.

"I don't know." Hatori replied, walking out to where Haru probably took Yuki.

XXX

He had guessed correctly. Haru had taken Yuki outside to one of the gardens, where he could hide him if Akito's wrath continued. It was a place where the teens had played often when they were children, all save for Yuki of course. He sighed with relief, that Haru had not lost his way, otherwise he would continue to roam the halls of the house all night.

He found Haru holding a piece of cloth to the bleeding cut on Yuki's face, while trying to talk to him "Come one Yuki, wake up!"

Yuki's eyes were unfocused and he mumbled something before they drifted closed again. Hatori kneeled down to the grass and shook him. "Wake up! You may have a concussion."

Haru looked up at Hatori. "Why was Yuki alone? You knew that this would happen!" he snarled, all traces of gentle White Haru gone.

"Even if someone was with him, Akito could have told that person to leave." Hatori replied calmly as he shook Yuki again.

"But, we have to do something about this!" Haru argued.

"Lets worry about Yuki now." The Doctor resumed shaking the Silver haired boy until he reopened his eyes. "I said… no." He exclaimed in a soft yet triumphant voice, through his swelling lips.

Haru's heart nearly broke at that, "Yeah. You did."

He simply wanted to protect Yuki in any way possible. Though the details of Akito's long-term obsession with Yuki weren't all that clear, he had a general idea of what Akito had done. The beatings and the isolation were things that Yuki would never talk about it. While his secret visits to Yuki while within his prison made much more aware of Yuki's ordeal, he still didn't know many of the issues involved. In the end, Hatori and Shigure were probably the only two who knew most of the details.

It didn't take a genius to know that regardless of the type of abuse that took place, Yuki cold only take so much before he completely submitted.

He thought back to when Kisa was being bullied at school, and realized how simple that problem was compared to Yuki's. Kisa could've been protected from her classmates, or transferred to a different school but no one could ever protect Yuki from Akito. As long as the Jyuunishi existed, Akito would torment him. It was a wonder that Yuki was still able to function normally as a human being, that he was still able to associate with people. But it was at a price; Yuki had to build a wall around his scarred soul, his ugly side as he had called it once, in attempt to keep out everything that would hurt him.

How long would one be able to continue like that? Will Akito finally break him?

Hatori examined Yuki's head for bruises, listening to Yuki's weak voice as he filled him in on the incident. "You only hit the side of your face? Do you feel dizzy?"

Yuki nodded weakly. "From the force of the blow." Hatori asserted. "You're lucky your nose isn't broken either. Lets go back inside so I can clean those cuts."

Yuki shook his head. "Don't want to…" he mumbled.

"Don't worry. Akito's gone."

"NO!" He objected as loudly as he could. The Doctor looked at him for a moment before relenting.

"Fine. I'll clean you up here." He handed Haru the ice pack to apply to the bruises. "I'll be right back." The white haired teen immediately pulled Yuki against him. Yuki fidgeted and pulled away, uncomfortable. Besides, Haru had already hugged him earlier, it wouldn't do for Haru to start making a habit of it. The younger Sohma didn't push it, giving Yuki the ice pack to apply himself, while undoing the now bloody bandages on his shoulder.

He marveled at the incredible strength Yuki displayed. The strength he had been displaying his entire life. As the Jyuunishi Mouse, Yuki was burdened with certain expectations his entire life. His childhood was difficult with absent parents and sibling, prolonged isolation. Everyone knew who Yuki was, but very few people actually _knew_ him.

After that first, life changing meeting with Yuki, he had admired him; his grace, strength and personality. He loved him for releasing him for the confines of the curse and his own child mind. Yuki always undermined what he did for other people, whether it was out of modesty or whether he really didn't appreciate what his words or actions did for others, Haru didn't know. Yuki was nearly mystical, radiating fragility and mystery, gaining him many admirers. Yet, while surrounded with people who loved him, his experiences with Akito rendered him unable to trust, let alone love in return. And in that Tohru was a godsend. She had help melt the ice barrier around Yuki's heart. And at first, Haru had resented her for that, wanting to be Yuki's savior like Yuki was his. The jealousy soon faded and he soon became grateful, for Yuki was now able to smile from his heart and forget his troubles momentarily. Haru sighed happily then sobered. This was his chance, to save Yuki from being consumed by the dark as he had done to him. Holding Yuki's injured body made Haru more determined to do his outmost to protect his cousin.

Yet Yuki's dilemma continued, and it was difficult for one not to choke at the sight of Yuki's now wounded face. He deserved a break from Akito more so than anyone. He deserved a chance at life just like everyone else. Haru didn't even know how Yuki managed to get away from Akito the first time, so how to get him away this time?

"Haru." The injured boy called weakly, "I didn't thank you for what you did today."

Haru, taken back for a moment, smiled tenderly then sobered. "I'm sorry I couldn't protect you tonight."

"No one can protect me, Haru." Was the resigned reply.

"There has to be something we can do." Haru insisted.

Yuki didn't reply, and winced as he reapplied the ice to his face.

Hatori returned with some gauze, bandages and antiseptic. "Lay down." He instructed. "Hatsuharu, go call Shigure and tell him to meet me tomorrow. He'll know what you're talking about." Haru nodded and stood to leave. "Don't let Akito see you."

After Haru was out of earshot, Hatori spoke again. "I'm sorry."

"Forget it.' Yuki answered as wincing under Hatori's ministrations and the antiseptic sting.

"You do know that Akito will punish you."

His eyes were downcast. "You can never win, can you?" he asked, obviously a rhetorical question.

Hatori seemed to be struggling with himself, unsure of how to tell Yuki that Akito planned on confining him to the room used to torment him as a child.

Then Ayame came through the clearing. "Yuki! Are you alright?" He plopped next to his brother, taking one hand into his and nearly shouted in anger the now bruised face, the looked back at Hatori pleading with him to do something. Yuki tore his hand out of Ayame's as he sensed their distress. "What's going on?"

Ayame helped Yuki sit back up while Hatori re-bandaged his shoulder and back. The Jyuunishi dragon knew that there was no point in delaying the inevitable. "Akito wants you back in the dark room."

Yuki stiffened with a loud gasp. "He...he can't!"

"I'm sorry." Hatori replied, unable to meet his cousin's eyes.

Ayame was lost, not understanding nor able to do anything. But that didn't mean that he had to be quiet about it. "I'm sorry too, Yuki." he began, "I can't…"

Yuki interrupted him, chuckling darkly. The two adults watched him in surprise, then his chuckles died abruptly and he leveled his brother a seething look. "And when have you ever done anything for me?" he cried. "When have you ever helped me out, huh? When did you ever think about anyone but yourself?" His frail body shook with barely contained fury and pain. "You don't even know what he did to me, you never cared to know! Not even now! You leave me by myself every single time." Tears accumulated in his eyes and he turned away to hide them. "Get out of here."

Ayame found himself speechless in the face of his brother's verbal assault. He reached out to his trembling brother, but Yuki slapped his hand away. And Ayame remained speechless. He knew that everything that was said was true, he had no choice but to do what Yuki had asked of him.

"I'm sorry, Yuki. You're right." The Jyuunishi snake spoke in a small voice, unlike him and stood to leave. He had only taken a few steps before he stopped. _No, I won't let this happen_. He turned and hurried back to his brother's side, and faced him. "I know that I never was there for you before and I'm sorry, but now I want to make up for that. I want to help you get away from this madness. You suffered greatly and I was uncaring of your suffering for so long and you've been strong without me." He rambled. "But, now I won't let you down. I want you to stay strong and I won't let anything break your strength." He reached out to grab his Yuki's hands. "Please Yuki. Let me be your brother for once in my life!"

Yuki's mind was reeling; first he finds out that he's to return to the room he still had nightmares about, and now Ayame, often an embarrassment to him, was begging him to allow him to help? Could he risk it? Letting Ayame help him? Could he allow himself to hope? Could anyone really save him from Akito? Could his annoying brother actually do something productive? His brother's conciliatory speeches weren't new yet, his eyes had a compassionate and determined glint he hadn't seen before.

Ayame sensed this uncertainty. "Yuki! I'm begging you to let me help you!"

Yuki didn't reply and continued to look his brother in the face, searching for a hint of sarcasm. Not finding any, he still couldn't bring himself to reply, still suspicious of Ayame's intentions. Ayame took Yuki's silence as an agreement, smiled triumphantly and took Yuki up in a tight hug. "I won't let you down Yuki!" He exclaimed triumphantly. Yuki stiffened in the embrace at first his shoulder and back throbbing, but he allowed himself to relax slightly and let his brother hold him despite the pain, feeling strangely comforted in his wayward brother's arms. As a child, he had dreamed of Ayame comforting him as he did now. _I can't go back there_. The emotional exhaustion hit him hard and he could not pull away.

Ayame met Hatori's eyes and saw a genuine smile on the other's face, one he hadn't seen in a long time. Possibly since the days of Kana.

Hatori collected his supplies and left quietly, giving the brothers some privacy. Ayame continued to hold his injured brother, delighted with this very rare opportunity, though it was difficult for him to keep silent, he endured it. Yuki eventually withdrew from his brother's arms, much to Ayame's dismay. Seeing the genuine look in his brother's eyes, Yuki couldn't help believing that there could be a chance to escape.

Hatori returned after sometime. "We can talk to Akito once he calms down. Now, lets just go back inside." Ayame nodded. Yuki sighed; knowing that reasoning with Akito was like reasoning with a brick wall.

"I better cancel that appointment tomorrow." Hatori mumbled as the three made their way back to the clinic. His eyes watched for anyone in the now empty halls, not wanting Yuki to be seen in his present condition.

XXX

Once back in the clinic, and after giving Yuki some painkillers to help him sleep, Hatori left the two brothers to see the Sohma Clan Head. It was late but he knew that Akito would be up.

"Akito?" He knocked once.

"Come." Came a cool reply from inside. Hatori entered, closed the Shoji behind him and knelt respectfully. Akito was looking out of the window, and said nothing. Hatori remained quiet knowing that Akito will eventually speak.

He did. "You're here to beg for mercy for that Rat, aren't you?"

"He's ill." Hatori started. "Keeping him in the dark room won't help him recuperate.."

"He should pay the price for opposing me!" Akito snapped, "He needs to be taught respect."

"If you do that you'll kill him, not teach him anything."

"What?"

"The attack he had today was very serious. Was he not found, he probably would've died."

Akito whirled to face the doctor, gaping. _Yuki could've died? _

Hatori wanted to hurt him. _You never think about the results of your reckless actions. _"What did you think you would accomplish?" Hatori asked, his tone challenging. "You could've killed him today! Just like you almost did 3 years ago!"

Akito met Hatori's gaze but said nothing, knowing that Hatori would back down eventually. He had tamed the Dragon to know his place. And True to his predictions, Hatori stopped to compose himself before continuing.

"He needs constant medical supervision, right now." Hatori continued. "You can confine him to the clinic."

Akito wanted to refuse immediately, then stopped to think. _If Yuki needs medical attention then he must get it._ Yuki was too precious, too valuable to lose. _Fine then_. "He is to stay in the clinic, and no one is to see him or speak to him except for myself or you." Akito ordered then turned back to look out the window.

"Fine then." Hatori stood to leave.

"Hatori?" Akito called. "If I learn that anyone has seen him without my permission, I'll be very upset. Especially that idiot Tohru Honda."

"I understand." Hatori existed the room and made his way back to the clinic, where Yuki was now sleeping with Ayame watching over him. He got to his feet immediately as Hatori entered.

"Any news Tori San?"

"He's going to stay here, but no one is allowed to see him except me."

Ayame huffed. "And Akito."

"Are you really that stupid, Ayame?" Hatori came closer to re-examine Yuki, snubbing Ayame's 'perceptive' comment.

"I wish someone would tell me the reason behind his obsession with Yuki."

"I don't think anyone could." Hatori replied, "You should go before Akito finds you here."

Ayame looked at his sleeping brother one last time, brushing a few strands of soft hair out of his face. "Please take care of him Tori San! And let me know if there's anything I can do!"

"What you can do now is keep everyone away from here."

"I'll try. Good night, Tori San."

Hatori grunted a reply and sat in the chair Ayame vacated, knowing that it was going to be a long night.

XXXXXX

That's enough excitement for now. That was a long chapter.

I called the room we see Yuki being whipped in (episode 13 of anime), HMM whipped Yuki—Yummy! the dark room. I don't know if it has a name.

I do wonder though, am I the only one who noticed that Akito has a lisp? Or is it my speakers? Since no one portrays his speech as such I guess I must be wrong.

Thanks to for reviewing. You guys are great.

Why isn't anyone telling me where to find Ninja Robots? Doesn't anybody know? Doesn't anybody care? BOOOHOOO

So Yuki is to be isolated. How will the others react? How will other meetings between Yuki and Akito go? Can Ayame help? Will Yuki ever get to leave?


	6. An Ominous Place

A Warm Place

Disclaimer I don't own Yummy Yuki or any Fruits Basket character. Fruits Basket belongs to Takaya Natsuki.

A continuation of the anime series laced with some obsessive hallucinations of mine.

_Italics _thoughts

XXXXXX

That week long agreeable ambiance at Shigure's was no more.

Everyone was tense for one reason or another; Tohru tried to remain as pleasant as possibly when dealing with Shigure or Kyo, but it was clear to the other 2 inhabitants of the house that her heart simply wasn't in it. Shigure was preoccupied by whatever it was he and Hatori had discussed, while Kyo was even more antisocial than usual.

When the three returned home, they had a quiet dinner with very little conversation, after which each headed to their own room to dwell on their thoughts. Except Kyo, who headed to the roof, and was so engrossed in his thoughts that he failed to notice Tohru joining him.

"Kyo Kun?"

"What?" He replied absently without looking at her, trying to appear callous and unfazed by her sudden appearance.

"Do you think Yuki Kun is angry with me?" She asked timidly.

That got his attention, and he frowned visibly. "Why would you say that?"

"Well, we haven't really talked this past week, and today I felt that he was a little distant so maybe he was upset with me and..."

"Why are you always worrying about hurting everybody's feelings?" Kyo interrupted, irritated.

"Um…" She fidgeted, yaken back by Kyo's question and tone. "It's not worrying, but I just… I mean, you and Yuki Kun are so kind and maybe if I did something to offend him that…"

"Stop talking nonsense!" Kyo snapped, "Yuki getting sick has nothing to do with you!"

"But…"

"Look." Kyo sighed, "If it'll make you stop worrying, he's probably angry with me."

"Eh? Why?"

"Did you forget that I nearly ripped his arm off?" He was getting really sick of having to tell everyone what he did. It made him mad for some reason.

"Oh no, Kyo Kun!" She shook her head in disagreement. "Yuki Kun isn't that kind of person at all. He came after you because you're friends, and that time… that time you needed your friends with you the most, Kyo Kun."

"Me and that Kuso Nezumi? Friends?"

"Of course!"

"I don't know where you keep getting this stuff from." Kyo mumbled, "Since you seem to know that Kuso Nezumi so well, then why are you worried?"

"Well, Yuki Kun looked really sad today—" she started when Kyo's snort interrupted, "Anyone would be if they were in his shoes right now, though he's definitely being a total sissy about it."

"No, but—"

She was interrupted again. "He's just upset he has to stay over there again."

Tohru let that sink in and decided to ask a question she's been meaning to ask ever since she saw Akito at school. _But to ask without being nosy... _"Ano, is there a problem with staying at the Main house?"

"Of course!" Kyo gave her a surprised look. "Akito! He's obsessed with that Kuso Nezumi. I thought you already knew that!"

Tohru nodded in agreement, but she hadn't learned anything new. "Why?"

"Why what?" Kyo was tiring of this conversation.

"Why is Akito San like that?"

"Akito's a freak." The boy spat, his hatred for the Sohma Master clear. "Who knows why he does anything!" he got to his feet, to the edge of the roof and jumped down. He waited for Tohru to descend the ladder and the two went back inside the house.

"Yuki Kun once told me that he wanted to get away from Akito San's watchfulness." She muttered.

Kyo shook his head in disgust and opened his mouth to reply when Shigure, who had been listening, spoke. "Yuki Kun wasn't allowed out much when he was younger. His health was frail and Akito San liked to keep him close." Shigure turned to look at Kyo. "You might be surprised to know that even though we all lived in the same house, until a few years a go, most of the Jyuunishi didn't see Yuki kun that much."

Tohru nodded. "Hatsuharu San told me."

"You can say that Yuki Kun wasn't very healthy or happy, while he was at the main house."

"Poor Yuki Kun." Tohru's eyes filled with tears. "But, why does Akito San do that?"

"I already told you that he's a freak!" Kyo repeated, hoping to end the discussion.

"Tskt tsk, Kyo Kun. Akito San is still the Sohma Clan Head." Shigure shook his finger in respite, then turning to address the girl. "Tohru Kun. Akito and Yuki's story is a long and unpleasant one. And even if we knew all the details, it's not our place to tell you."

"I see." All she learned had served to reinforce her earlier suspicions. _Something awful happened in the past to Yuki Kun, something that shakes him to the soul whenever Akito San is mentioned. But what?_

"It's getting late." Shigure yawned loudly, "And as much as I don't want to leave our precious wall flower at the mercy of Kyo the Barbarian, I have to turn in for night. Goodnight you two!" He hurried up the stairs to escape Kyo's violent retort.

"Kyo Kun!" Tohru got to her feet quickly, determined to stop any upcoming bloodshed, continues. "Something happened, right?"

Kyo stops in his tracks to answer her, seeming a little down. "Un. But, I don't know what or when. The Cat is the outcast after all." He spat bitterly, turning to face her. "Nor do I want to know anything about that Kuso Yuki!"

"We have to help Yuki Kun!" Tohru continued, seemingly ignoring Kyo's outburst.

"Why should I help that Kuso Nezumi? He's the one responsible for everything that happened to me! Let him suffer for a change!" It was clear that he had made up his mind, and with that he turned to leave, leaving Tohru alone.

XXX

The next day's walk was tense with silence, not only were Kyo and Tohru preoccupied with their own thoughts, but both were also feeling somewhat awkward about last night's discussion. Once at school, the news of Yuki's absence spread like wild fire amongst students, and soon, everyone was badgering Kyo for information on the whereabouts of their beloved prince.

"I don't know!" Kyo screamed in their faces, trying to scare them off.

It didn't work.

"Woah! Kyon is especially jumpy today!" Uotani noted lightly.

"His wave patterns are very tense." Hanajima observed, then added after a pause. "Could it be that he's actually worried about Yuki Sohma?"

"Yeah?" Uotani piped, "Maybe he's just upset that everyone's bugging him."

Said teen rushed past, resolvedly chased by a mob of students. "Leave me alone!" He shouted yet again, to no avail.

"No matter how perfect The Prince seems, he's still human and all humans get sick once in a while." Uotani snickered.

"Don't tell that to his fan club."

"So, is he really sick Tohru?" The two turned to the third member of their clique, who had been keeping quiet until now. She simply nodded.

"Is it bad?" Arisa asked, worried for her friend's emotional state.

When Tohru nodded again, her friends immediately surrounded her, trying to cheer her up.

"Is he at home?" Hanajima asked, "We could visit to wish him a speedy recovery."

"No, Yuki Kun's at the main house. One of his relatives is a Doctor."

"Ah, I remember him! Ha something, right? Came the day of the festival with that hyperactive blonde kid." The tall Blonde chuckled, "He took out a stethoscope and started to examine The Prince right there in the middle of the room!"

"That's right. And then that strange yellow rabbit appeared." Hanajima added languidly.

"Eh?" Tohru froze.

Uotani nodded in agreement. "I wonder where it came from? I've never seen a yellow rabbit before."

"It seemed to like you, Tohru." the two turned to their flustered friend,who smiled back and, at the momentary pause in the conversation, attempted to change the topic.

"Ah! Hana Chan, Uo Chan. Do you really want to visit Yuki Kun?"

"Eh? Uh, sure. Why not." Uotani shrugged.

"Do you think he would appreciate the company?"

"Of course! Yuki Kun would be very happy to know that Hana Chan and Uo Chan were worried about him." Tohru smiled brightly.

"Just don't let anyone hear you! Then his Fan Club would follow us there and find the poor Prince sick and helpless."

"Eh? That wouldn't be good at all!" Tohru looked around to see if anyone had actually overheard. "I'll talk to Shigure San and let you know tomorrow."

XXX

It was a wonder that Kyo stayed in school that day. It was possible that he found the constant questions about Yuki's fate by the student body less irritating than Shigure's company. And as he walked home with Tohru, they met with the always-energetic Momiji.

"Tohru!" He called out happily, jumping to hug her before Kyo intercepted him.

"Stop that, you lecherous kid!"

"Wahh! Kyo hit me!" Momiji cried.

"Momiji Kun! I looked for you at school!"

"I'm sorry, but I was busy with a project all day." Momiji replied, suddenly recovered.

"How is Yuki Kun?" She asked anxiously.

"I saw him before I went to bed." Momiji answered, "He was fine then."

"Really? That's wonderful."

Momiji grinned and nodded, happy to see a smile on her face.

"I didn't see Hatsuharu San at school today."

"That's because Haru wanted to stay with Yuki!"

Tohru and Kyo cringed at the implication. "What?" Momiji asked, confused.

"Nothing at all, Momiji Kun." Tohru smiled nervously. "Do you think we could come back with you to the Sohma House to visit Yuki Kun?"

"Sure!" Momiji beamed. "Yuki would be really happy to see Tohru!"

"Why do we have to go see that Kuso Nezumi?" Kyo complained.

"I promised Yuki Kun yesterday that I'd visit after school. Besides, I picked up his homework assignments."

Kyo snorted yet still followed Tohru and Momiji back to the Main house, where they were greeted by an irate, and possibly Black, Haru pacing in the main hall leading to the clinic. Kagura and Ritsu were sitting close by, looking equally upset.

"Haru!"

"Hatsuharu San!"

Haru turned to look at them, an angry expression on his face. "They won't let us see Yuki!"

"What? Why?"

"Akito's orders." Haru spat, turning to add another hole to an already beaten and hole infested wall.

"Oh no!" Tohru exclaimed, she had really wanted to see Yuki.

Kagura approached Kyo and held on to his arm without incident. "We've been here all day. They won't let us in." Kyo looked down at her in surprise, but didn't say anything.

A Shoji slid open and Ayame and Shigure emerged from inside to join them, looking quite serious.

"Almost everyone's here." Shigure started, "Someone can tell the others."

Ayame sighed then turned to the teens, "I'm sorry everyone, but no one's allowed to see Yuki right now."

"Just right now or forever?" Haru growled.

"Those are Akito's orders." Ayame bowed his head in shame, "He wouldn't even let Yuki's devoted and loving brother visit him! Ah, the inhumanity!"

"I hope you all understand that Akito will be very upset if his order is disobeyed." Shigure added.

"You mean he'll take it out on Yuki?" Haru growled, near explosion. Everyone gasped in shock and outrage. Kyo clenched his fists in frustration, but still said nothing.

Shigure didn't elaborate further and merely walked to the gate, motioning for Kyo and Tohru to follow him. Tohru didn't do so immediately, trying to come up with something, anything. She looked all around her at the worried and angry faces, all as helpless as she was. Finally, after bowing her head in defeat, she miserably trailed her housemates. Eventually. the remaining Jyuunishi members reluctantly left the main hall, Momiji and Kagura dragging Haru away.

Hatori, who had been listening to the goings-on outside, nodded to himself. He had been cooped up in the clinic all day, to keep anyone from seeing Yuki, till Ayame and Shigure dropped by to hear what he had to say. It was quite unpleasant, being constantly treated to Yuki's death glares and cutting comments.

Though, Hatori could hardly blame him for being in such a bad mood.

"I'm going out for a few minutes." He turned to address Yuki, who continued to glare. "Don't forget to take your medication." Hatori pointed at the pills on the counter, then stepped out.

Yuki's angry eyes followed Hatori's every movement, and remained focused on the now closed clinic door after his departure trying to reach through the heavy wooden obstacle to the outside. He then let out a breath, trying to calm himself. He knew it wasn't fair to be angry at Hatori. It wasn't his fault, but there was no one else around for him to direct his frustrations at? After a few more minutes of procrastination, he took his pills as instructed and lay back on the bed.

Having heard the commotion everyone, especially Haru, had been especially difficult and frustrating. _Haru_, _I'm not worth all that trouble. _He thought of Tohru and wondered at her reaction when told that she couldn't see him. Was she upset? What did she think? Did she just go home? Wasn't it unfair of him to wish for her interference in the family affairs? Akito would not be happy then. _Damn Akito. _Yuki's slim fingers traced the tender bruises on his forehead, wincing at the contact. He didn't need to see them to know how awful they must look. It would've been easy to overcome Hatori and get out, but the Doctor's presence wasn't what kept him put. No matter how hard he wished and prayed for courage, he wouldn't dare disobey Akito for fear of the sadistic consequences that surely would follow, either to him or anyone else.

Seems like today was a good day for cursing. _Damn you Akito, and Damn me for being a weakling. _

XXX

Tohru didn't do many things well that night. She almost spilled the soup in Kyo's, broke a plate and nearly vacuumed a part of Shigure's manuscript. Studying and sleeping were an impossibility. After their return from the Honke, her thoughts were clouded with visions of the horrors Yuki could be enduring at the hands of the Sohma Master.

"Yuki Kun wouldn't want you to worry about him so much." Shigure had told her at Dinner. But, how could she not worry? How could she not be concerned after seeing the pure terror in Yuki's eyes when Akito visited them at school? It was clear that Akito frightened Yuki at primal level, and she couldn't bear to think what he had done to the Younger Sohma to leave him so scarred for so long.

Yuki had often spoke of living under Akito's watchful eyes, and everything Akito did reflected back upon Yuki, influencing his personality and thinking. He had come so far; it wouldn't be right if all of Yuki's hard work went to waste.

Looking out her bedroom window at the dark sky, she continued to think of Yuki. _Yuki Kun has been trying so hard to blend in with others, to open up and allow himself to trust people again. He can't have it taken away from him!_ Her heart sank at the thought of that happening, of the broken spirit of Yuki Sohma. _We have to save him!_

XXX

Two days had passed since then, and Yuki had grown very apprehensive. Akito had yet to come by, and he was certain that the sickly Sohma was planning something. The suspense was killing him and his heart nearly stopped every time he hear footsteps in the hall.

Haru and Momiji had stopped by earlier, and they had talked across the closed door, Black Haru promising Yuki to beat Akito up. Yuki and Momiji had tried their best to calm him, and to prevent their discovery. Ayame repeated the same gesture, except with a lengthy and passionate speech that Yuki chose to ignore. Other than that Yuki had spent the day dreading Akito's arrival and it had become so tedious that he nearly wished for no one to come see him at all, for the sound of footsteps in the hall was driving him crazy and keeping him awake nearly all day and night.

And now it was early afternoon. He should've been at school with Tohru and the others.

He missed her. Her smile and her sunny attitude. Her cute clumsiness and benevolent presence. He missed school and his busy schedule, he missed his garden and he even missed fighting with Shigure and Kyo. Not having anything to do gave him plenty of time to reflect on the events of the recent past. Though, he also found him self bombarded with memories of his miserable childhood, of pain and tears, of hatred and shame. Yuki gripped the bed-sheet tightly. He could not return to that state, he had worked too hard over the last few years to rebuild himself, to bury all his Akito-tainted memories. He didn't know if he had the strength to do that again, he had the will, as he always did, but with Akito, the will alone was never enough.

It was time for his meds again. He poured himself a small glass of water, ignoring the food left on the counter. Akito could have had someone slip something in it, it wasn't something Akito had done before, but paranoia prevailed. _There is no way I'm going to willingly fall into one of his traps. _He lay back against the pillows, feeling drained. His lids felt like lead and he only wanted to rest his eyes for a bit…

The door handle rattled slightly. Yuki's eyes widened as he immediately sat up in bed, watching for whoever it was. Hatori would just open the door, so it must be Akito. A key was then inserted and the door opened slowly and Akito eased himself inside with a coy expression.

The Sohma Clan head took slow deliberated steps, smiling to him self as he reached out to frame Yuki's face. "How are you today?" He asked, locking eyes with his cousin.

Yuki shrank away from the cold hands, stammering. "I'm... fine."

"Really? You don't look well. Why aren't you eating?" Akito traced the bruises on Yuki's face, pressing against them. "Look at this, and this. This won't do at all." Lowering himself to sit by the other, he gathered the quivering younger teen into his arms. "You should stay with me, Yuki." He then whispered. "I'll take good care of you and you won't need anyone else. You'll stay with me, ne?"

Yuki was afraid of the implication, but couldn't bring himself to reply.

Akito buried his face in Yuki's hair, inhaling his scent before moving away slightly. "I don't want to confine you to this room. Come with me." He took Yuki's shaking hand and pulled him up and out of bed, smiling at Yuki's fear induced obedience. The two then headed down the hall and towards the main chambers. Yuki, once realizing where he was, panicked. "Where are we going?" "Hmm?" Akito feigned ignorance and tightened his hold on Yuki's hand.

"Where are you taking me?" Yuki repeated in a louder voice, no less shaky.

"I want to show you something." Akito answered him, laughing. "Is that so wrong? Wanting to share something special with my special Rat?" He made a few turns before arriving at his destination. Yuki wrinkled his brow in confusion, not knowing where they were. Akito slid the Shoji open and pulled Yuki inside, sliding the Shoji closed behind them.

They were in a secluded part of the Sohma garden. The rose bushes and Sakura trees were trimmed to perfection and there was a large Koi pond filled with colorful koi.

"This is my private garden. I showed it to you once before."

"...When?" Yuki looked around, surely he would've remembered being in such a beautiful place.

"You don't remember?" Akito's eyes were mocking him.

"…No." _Should I?_

"Do you like it?" Akito came uncomfortably close.

"Its…Nice." Yuki stammered, taking a few steps back in attempt to put some distance between them.

"Good. I picked all the plant grown here myself. I even chose out the Koi. It's my masterpiece and you're the only one who ever seen it. I wouldn't even let Hatori in here." Akito continued, tone proud. "That's how special you are, Yuki."

Yuki cringed and avoided Akito's dark, possessive gaze.

"When Hatori told me that you're sick, I thought a change of atmosphere would be good for you." Akito pulled Yuki towards a tree. "Sit." he commanded.

Yuki did.

"Enjoy the Fresh air, Yuki." He leaned down to brush some silvery hairs out of the effeminate face. "This is a very special place for us Yuki. Try to remember."

Yuki shivered at Akito's touch.

The Jyuunishi God turned to leave, "I'll be back soon, so don't go anywhere." Though his tone was light and playful, the warning was clear. He left a perplexed Yuki behind, wondering if the Sohma Master has finally lost his mind.

XXX

When Hatori returned to find the clinic door wide-open, he panicked. "Yuki?" he called, "Yuki!" He hurried out of the clinic, fearing that Yuki had somehow managed to escape when one of the servants of the house called out to him.

"Hatori Sama? Akito Sama took Yuki San with him about 20 minutes ago."

"Thank you." Hatori called over his shoulder, hurrying to Akito's quarters, hoping against all hope that he wouldn't be witness to a repeat of Akito's infatuation with Yuki.

He stopped outside the chambers for a moment, listening closely for voices. When he didn't hearing any, he feared the worse

"Akito?"

"Come."

Hatori entered the dimly lit room. The frail master was looking out the window.

"Where 's Yuki?" Hatori could barely control his voice.

"I took him to get some air." Akito's lazy voice replied.

"Where did you take him?"

Akito looked much too gleeful for Hatori's liking. "My secret garden." Turning to give the older man a challenging look.

The Doctor's heart nearly stopped beating. "What?"

Akito turned away from the window to approach the enraged Doctor. "Always such a worry wart, aren't you? The poor boy doesn't remember a thing. You did your job quite well then."

He paused, his smile turning reminiscent. "Although I still remember everything, Hatori." He laughed, further instigating Hatori's fury. "Do you think I need my memory erased as well?" He leaned in close to whisper in Hatori's ears. "I'm still haunted by that night."

It took much willpower on the Jyuunishi Dragon's part to continue to look straight ahead, his hands balling into fists, wrinkling his pants.

"When will you bring Yuki back to the clinic?" He asked through clenched teeth.

Akito made no notice of the uncharacteristic display of emotion. "He needs some air. The poor Rat was suffocating in that room You don't know how to take care of him."

"I will be in the clinic, waiting for his return to give him his medicine." Hatori moved away from Akito and stormed out of the room.

Akito laughed loudly.

And an hour later, Akito brought Yuki back to the clinic. The three sat together as Akito chatted aimlessly, Yuki replying weakly when specifically asked to speak. Hatori remained unconversant and Yuki was beginning to tire.

"Are you tired, Yuki?" Yuki nodded, _anything to get you out of here._

"Then sleep."

Akito hands moved up to run down Yuki's face, closing his eyes, much in the same mannerism Hatori used when erasing memories.

Hatori was enraged and Yuki was baffled by the anger in the Doctor's expression. Akito simply left, chuckling loudly.

"What is it?" The teen asked.

"Nothing." Hatori tried to return to his reading.

"Don't tell me its nothing! Tell me!"

"Its nothing!" Hatori snapped back.

Taken back by the intensity of Hatori's reply, Yuki was now certain that it was very serious. "Its about me, isn't it? Don't tell me its nothing"

Hatori's response was to get to his feet and stomp out of the clinic, slamming and locking the door behind him.

It would suffice to say that Yuki didn't sleep that night, nor did he sleep or eat well for the next few days. Hatori's uncharacteristic behavior had struck him as a warning of unpleasant things to come.

And, he was right.

XXXXXX

Sorry it took so long but I've been super busy and in over my head with work.

I posted a lot this time. Well, I hope you liked this chapter. Isn't it evil? Isn't it? Isn't it? In all honesty, I'm not really happy with this chapter, but I just can't read it again. I already did that 10 times! But I promise that the next part will have a lot of action! Oh I can't wait. 'Rubs hands together in anticipation' if you thought chapter 4 was awful, wait for chapter 7!

I forgot to thank my reviewers by name last time. "TO ALL THOSE I FORGOT. I'M SORRY. I'M SORRY THAT MY ABSENT MINDEDNESS HAS BROUGHT MISERY TO THOSE WHO BESTOWED THEIR KIND REVIEWS UPON ME! I'M SO SORRY"

Ok, enough Ritsu.

Thanks to; Ssjgoddesschico (THANK YOU), Yanagi-sen, llll, pannybaby123 (LOL naughty is good ne?), Clone X (THANK YOU), Mlaine, Maeko(Scary doesn't cover it and thanks for the pointers), Illia Sadri, Sohma Risa(I'm ready to help anytime!), colepeiya (thanks for the Ninja Robots info and thanks for the complement. I really appreciate it)

Illia Sadri: Ayame is calmer than usual because from what I get from the anime, in his serious moments; When he went to the restaurant with Tohru & when he was talking with Hatori and Shigure about Kana) he was, well, calm and somber. So I assumed that he is naturally extroverted but a little less so when speaking about something serious. I hope that makes sense. I'm glad you think that everyone is in character. When I wrote these lines, I tried to picture the characters saying them. I know its weird but alas, tis the only way!

And last but not least Tsukitani, who put me as a favorite but never reviewed me. LOL! Your "Force of destiny" fic is great, keep it up! A must read for all Yuki lovers.

A few people were complaining about the formatting and grammar. GOMENASAI. I'm really trying but since I'm my own proofreader, well, there isn't much I could do. If anyone's willing to help me. Please do!

A lot of people are rooting for Haru. Yeah he is cool isn't he, and I love his attitude. But this is a Yuki story guys! J

Akito's secret garden is my own invention.

What was Akito talking about? Why was Hatori angry? Will poor yummy Yuki find out the hard way?

Review! Review! Review!


	7. A Hidden Place

A Warm Place

Disclaimer I don't own Yummy Yuki or any Fruits Basket character. Fruits Basket belongs to Takaya Natsuki.

A continuation of the anime series laced with some obsessive hallucinations of mine.

_Italics_ thoughts

XXXXXX

Much to Yuki's disdain, Akito continued on taking him to the garden on a daily basis, where'd he'd leave him alone for an hour or so before returning him to the clinic. The constant talk about the Garden and what it meant, the harassment, the touching… Yuki was truly getting sick of it all. It didn't help that Hatori was unusually edgy lately, further pushing Yuki into apprehension and worry.

It was all taking its toll on the younger Sohma, visibly so.

And when Akito made his way to the clinic that day, and found Yuki looking more drained than ever, he immediately called for Hatori. "You're not looking well at all, Yuki!" Akito exclaimed, ignoring Yuki's hoarse replies.

"Why is he like this?" Akito demanded of Hatori, when he had joined them. "Look at him! You're not taking care of him at all!"

"The isolation is beginning to take its toll on him." Hatori replied curtly.

"I don't think he's getting enough sleep." Akito snapped. "See that he does." Then strode out of the room.

Hatori took a deep, calming breath, and turned to the bedridden boy. "Akito's right you know. I'm going to give you a sedative to…"

"No." Yuki interrupted.

"Even if Akito hadn't said anything, you need it. You're going to kill yourself this way." Hatori turned to one of the cabinets, taking out a syringe and ampoule, and proceeding to fill the needle, then returning to the bed side. "Turn over."

Yuki glared through bloodshot eyes. "I said NO!"

The Jyuunishi Dragon simply wasn't in the mood to argue. "This is for your own good." He grabbed Yuki's arm, pulling him up somewhat roughly to a sitting position, to which Yuki responded with a fist sending the needle flying out of Hatori's hand and crashing to the floor. Said fist continued its trip until it made contact with Hatori's chin.

The two Jyuunishi froze in place, unable to believe what had transpired; Yuki especially, for he had responded without a thought. He certainly hadn't intended to hit Hatori!

The Doctor gave Yuki a dirty look and left the room. The younger Sohma smiled with some relief and lay back down, continuing to fight off sleep.

Some time later, Hatori returned with two male servants, possibly gardeners, and Kazuma. "This time." He stated tersely. Yuki didn't even have time to move before Kazuma was on him.

"Settle down." He said, grabbing Yuki's wrists and pushing him back down.

"LET GO!" The teen yelled, struggling to pull away from the older man's iron grip.

"Grab his legs!" Yuki kicked his legs in the air, trying to scare the other men, so Kazuma quickly turned him over, grasping his arms behind him in a painful hold.

"Please, don't!" Yuki begged his Sensei, realizing that escape was an impossibility. " Akito—"

"Akito will leave you alone if you're sleeping like a rock." Hatori wiped the injection site with some rubbing alcohol, and turned to make sure that the men were still holding Yuki's legs down. Yuki struggled as much as he could against his retainers and felt his arms about to break from where Kazuma was holding them.

"Relax, or this will hurt." Yuki continued to thrash about, pleading with them not to sedate him. He hated sedatives, and hated the idea of being helpless if Akito was to return. But, he could do nothing as he felt the needle pierce his skin, and hurt it did.

They continued to hold him down for a few minutes.

"Damn you!" The teen yelled, "I should've aimed for your other eye, Hatori!"

Hatori inhaled sharply, clearly offended, but Yuki's defiant eyes showed no will to retract his remark.

"Quiet!" Kazuma pulled the arm he was holding up. Yuki gasped in protest of the now very painful hold. "Respect your elders."

Then the world began to blur around him, and Yuki found his eyelids heavier than Kazuma's weight on his back. "Damn you." he mumbled, "Damn you…" this time it was nearly a whisper, and then he was asleep.

"He'll be out for some time." Hatori commented, "Thank you."

The martial arts instructor nodded absently, disturbed with Yuki's uncharacteristic defiance. Knowing Yuki's unnatural fear of Akito, he wondered if helping to sedate the boy was the right thing to do.

A deep frown made its way on Kazuma's usually serene face.

XXX

Outside the Sohma compound, the school-aged Jyuunishi and Tohru gathered. They were overwhelmed with worry about Yuki, whom they hadn't seen in nearly two weeks. The only information Hatori would give out was that Yuki was fine. Haru had been going Black much more frequently lately, and was in detention more often than not. It was very frustrating to all of them, knowing that Yuki was so close, yet so unreachable. Tohru, in particular, could bear it no more. All she could think about was Yuki alone and ill. The sight of him the last time she saw him was etched into her memory. He looked miserable, then. _How would he be feeling now? Would he think everyone abandoned him? Would he think that of me?_

She sighed sadly, and returned home to prepare dinner, a pensive Kyo in tow.

She opened the fridge door to get some vegetables, and spied the bowl of strawberries Yuki had harvested and left. She had planted, watered and cared for them with him, even picked them with him. In the past few days, she had been trying to work in his garden, trying to keep the crops alive until his return, but found that she didn't have the necessary skills. Looking back, it was Yuki who did most of the planting and weeding. She would only look on, or do as he instructed.

She remembered that day, some months ago, when she had first met Kagura. When Yuki told her of his intention to grow strawberries in his garden.

_"Strawberries. I love Strawberries."_

_"Um. I thought you would."_

There were no words to accurately describe the beauty of his shy smile.

The grief of losing him was too great, and Tohru slumped to her knees, sobbing his name.

XXX

Dinner had been delicious as usual. Tohru ate slowly as she asked Shigure about his day, smiled at Kyo, then returned to picking at her food.

Shigure frowned dramatically. "Ah. This won't do at all!"

"What is it?" Kyo asked impatiently.

"This melancholy! It feels as if a dark cloud has moved in with us. Cheer up Tohru Kun, Kyo Kun!"

"Who said I was upset?" Kyo challenged.

"I'm sorry, Shigure San." Tohru started, fidgeting under Shigure's scrutiny. "Its just that I'm really worried about Yuki Kun."

"Ah, sweet Tohru Kun!" Shigure replied in a singsong voice. "We all miss him as well. In fact, I know that Kyo Kun misses him a lot!"

"What! Says who?" Kyo screeched, ears steaming.

"No need to deny it, Kyo Kun." Shigure challenged. "Yuki Kun makes a lasting impression on anyone who spends a moment in his glorious presence. His beauty, his grace, his voice, his fist…" He moved closer to the teenage boy. "Isn't that right?"

"Shut up, you pervert!"

"But Kyo Kun, one would have to be blind not to see how beautiful Yuki Kun is, ne Tohru Kun?"

"EH?" Tohru froze.

"Yuki Kun is quite beautiful, don't you think?"

"Shut up, you Dog!"

"Yes, he is." She answered in a small, embarrassed voice, blushing badly.

Shigure grinned at her reaction "I guess Kyo Kun doesn't have eyes for Yuki Kun then. Maybe it's the abuse you miss?"

"WHAT?"

"Hmm, I should call Kagura to let her know that she's on the right track then!"

"I'm going to KILL YOU!" Kyo pounced on his cousin and the battle ensued. Tohru giggled at the sight of Shigure trying to escape Kyo's wrath.

After dinner, Tohru cleared the table, with some help from Kyo who was still irritated by what Shigure had said earlier.

"Ano, Kyo kun?"

"What?"

"Do you really think Yuki Kun is really alright? I mean, Hatori San wouldn't be hiding something from us…would he?"

"Stop worrying about him!" Kyo snapped, "Everyone's worried about that Kuso Nezumi like he's made of glass or something. This is Yuki!" He ranted, shaking his fist. "He's a stubborn Bastard!"

Tohru's features remained troubled. "I'm sorry, but I can't help but worry. Akito San's punishing everyone, especially Yuki Kun." She looked out the window, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. "I just want to know that he's alright, Kyo Kun." She continued in a voice heavy with emotion.

Kyo looked at her for a moment, struggling with himself, then stomped out of the kitchen, yelling an irritated "I've had enough!" and leaving her alone with he tears. _I can't take anymore of this! Kuso Nezumi, this is all your fault!_

XXX

Kyo lay on the roof, looking up at the sky. "Kuso Nezumi." He would mumble every now and then. "Worrying everyone. Making her worry." _Making me worry_. Whether he wanted to admit it or not, he was curious as to know the kind of treatment Yuki would receive at the hands of Akito. He had never been a witness to an episode where Akito mistreated Yuki; but from what the others had told him of Akito's unnatural obsession with dominating the Rat, he could only imagine.

Yet they had to be exaggerating, right? Being the Rat surely gave Yuki an advantage somehow. He must receive some sort of special treatment. Besides, Akito treated everybody like crap…Yuki must be a bigger wuss than expected.

Yuki was a jerk. It was an undeniable fact. _He's also stuck up and conceited and condescending and selfish and…_ Kyo paused in his current train of thought. Seeing Yuki that day, cold and terrified…nearly dead, he couldn't help but see Yuki in a more human light.

Whatever human meant in this case.

_If I hear anymore talk about him, I'll go crazy! _

The decision was made. Kyo hopped down, heading to his room for the time being.

XXX

Kyo jumped the main wall of the compound. Staying low as he crouched and scouted for anyone, though it was quite late at night and it was doubtful that anyone would be up. _Better safe than sorry_. He crept closer to the buildings, the clinic was a long ways in_. Kuso Yuki, making me go through all of this._

Slowly and quietly, he made his way deeper within the Compound. He made sure to remain bathed in shadows at all times. NO matter what, Akito or his cronies must NOT see him.

Eventually, he found it. The lights were off and the curtain drawn. _Damn. There's no way of knowing if someone's inside! _Kyo swore again and crept around to the other side, to see the other window. Thankfully, the blinds were pulled up and he carefully peeked though. The clinic was dark, and he couldn't even see the bed. _Where the hell is that Kuso Yuki?_

Kyo moved further up so he could take a better look inside, and found the bed right under the window. Yuki's violet hair was now visible and Kyo couldn't help but smirk. _Finally!_ Taking one last sweep of the room and the surroundings, Kyo slowly eased the window open, and pulled himself inside.

_Damn! How am I going to get in without stepping allover him with the stupid bed like that_? It took a lot of maneuvering on Kyo's part but in the end, he landed above Yuki's torso, careful not to trip over the tube infusing into Yuki's arm.

The other teen didn't stir through any of that, his face turned towards the wall as he slept. Even though Yuki was known to sleep like the dead, Kyo couldn't help but worry that Yuki would wake somehow, possibly alerting the Honke's inhabitants to Kyo's presence. He took a closer look at his cousin, finding the moonlight illuminating soft silvery hair, making it look strangely… Kyo didn't know what the word was, but he found his hand unconsciously reaching out as if to touch the soft strands. Realizing what he was doing, he retracted his hand and shook his head fiercely to clear those 'disgusting' thoughts from his mind and crept towards the door, locking it and leaving the key turned in the keyhole. He then crept back to the bed, careful to stay low, as not to be seen from the open window.

"Yuki." He whispered. No reply, Yuki didn't even stir.

_So much for worrying about him waking the others up. _

"Yuki!" A sharp hiss this time. He then tried shaking him. "Kuso Nezumi! Get up!"

Yuki finally reacted, rubbing his sleepy eyes. That brought the ugly bruises on his writs to Kyo's attention. And when he turned to face Kyo, the redhead nearly screamed in outrage. _What the hell?_

It wasn't just the dark circles under his eyes, nor his unusually pale and sunken complexion. Rather, it was the yellow-brown remnants of the contusions that once covered the side of his face, which alarmed Kyo.

"Yuki?" He said in a tight voice, "What did they do to you?"

"Kyo?" Yuki asked sleepily, "Did you come to visit me?" A tired smile spread across his face.

"…Un."

Yuki opened his eyes a little more. "How'd you get in?"

"I just did, its not that hard." The redhead replied with a touch of arrogance.

Yuki reacted by yawning, then pulling the sheets tighter around him as he settled back into slumber, mumbling. "How is Honda San?"

"She's fine." _Is he even awake?_

"Everyone?"

"They're fine too." _Is he ignoring me?_

"Good." Yuki spoke very softly; He had spoken so quietly that Kyo almost hadn't heard him. Kyo looked back at Yuki's bruised face and wrists. He was always a heavy sleeper and needed a while to function after waking up, but something was ... off about Yuki's reactions. Something was very wrong here.

Kyo couldn't help but be concerned. "What happened, Yuki?"

No response.

"Hey!" He shook the sleeping boy again. Yuki's eyes snapped open, then began to droop again.

"What's going on?" Kyo nearly yelled.

"Hm?" Yuki inquired, his eyes still closed.

"Why are you like this?"

"Sedatives."

Kyo's eyes grew to the size of saucers. "They're sedating you!"

"Haven't been… sleeping well." Yuki yawned, more awake now. He wondered at this strange dream he was having, he usually didn't dream when under tranquilizers, but here was Kyo, in the clinic, asking about him.

Surely, it was a dream! No matter. Yuki would cling to it, desperate for anything other than the feel of cold slimy hands and dark possessive eyes.

"That would explain the bags under your eyes." Kyo replied, then as an afterthought, added. "When was the last time you slept without sedatives?"

Yuki weakly tried to sit up. Kyo ground his teeth at Yuki's pathetic state and helped him sit up, then sat facing him on the edge of the bed. "Oi Nezumi!" he shook his cousin's arm. _How pathetic!_

"What?" Yuki rubbed his eyes. Kyo looked irritated, and Yuki had to suppress a smirk, happy that the drugs hadn't distorted Kyo's norm.

"When was the last time you slept without sedatives?" Kyo found himself surprised at the patience he was displaying while trying to extract the information from Yuki.

"The night they first brought me here." Yuki answered absently.

"WHAT?" The Redhead slapped his hands over his mouth, hoping he hadn't been heard by anyone. _Shit!_ "But that was almost 2 weeks ago!" He reasoned, his voice now a whisper.

Yuki suddenly looked like he was going to cry with frustration. "I couldn't sleep, not with Akito so close by. I didn't want to wake up and find him here."

"That's crazy!" Kyo argued. "If you don't sleep for 2 weeks, do you think you'll be able to fight him off anyways you idiot?"

"What else was I supposed to do, Baka Neko?" Yuki's voice cracked. "I'm not allowed to leave the room. No one is allowed to see me except for him and Hatori!" _It's not like you'd understand anyway…_

Kyo's hands balled into fists. What the hell was going on here? He knew Akito to be a bastard who used people's words against them and was a typical asshole, but this? This isolation and torment didn't make any sense. Yuki was obviously suffering and it wasn't fair. It was maddening, knowing that Akito was able to control people's lives so easily, and Yuki looking so fragile and lost…

Kyo felt a tightening in his chest, as if sympathizing and feeling for Yuki's pain. He too had tasted the sting of isolation.

Not that he was going to let Yuki know that.

"What's that for?" He pointed at the drip solution hanging by the bed, infused into Yuki's arm.

"Some sort of feeding tube I guess." The teen shrugged.

"You haven't been eating either." Kyo concluded.

"It's probably paranoid of me, but I can't risk Akito or anyone slipping something in it." Yuki looked up. "Besides, who in my place would feel like eating?"

Kyo had no answer.

"Who did that?" he pointed at Yuki's wrist.

The other boy rubbed at the bruise. "Akito decided that I wasn't looking well a few days ago and told Hatori to do something about it." He sighed as he continued. "Hatori said I was hurting myself by not sleeping. So he tried to sedate me." He yawned again.

"Tried?" Kyo asked.

"I wonder if Hatori's face healed yet…" Yuki wondered out loud.

"You hit Hatori!"

"I warned him." Yuki smiled slightly.

Kyo couldn't help but chuckle. _Well, its not like the bastard didn't have it coming anyway. _

"An hour later, Hatori comes in with some of the staff and Shihan. They held me down while Hatori sedated me. Shihan was holding my wrists down and you know how strong he is. I've been asleep ever since." He looked up at the calendar hanging on the wall.

"What day is it?"

"The 12th."

"Then it's been 4 days." Yuki yawned again and rubbed at his eyes.

"Oh…" After a moment Kyo asked quietly. "And your face?"

Yuki looked away, his expression dark. "Akito came by to see me the first night I was here." He gripped the sheet covering him tightly.

Kyo frowned deeply; Kagura had told him that something had happened between the two.

"Let it go Kyo. No one can protect me from him." Yuki replied morosely.

A kyo that looks concerned, this HAD to be a dream. A very please, yet unnerving one.

"I wasn't worried about you, you Bastard." Kyo replied absently, though his words lacked the edge they usually carried.

His mind was reeling with what Yuki told him. Why were they doing this to Yuki?_ Isn't putting up with Akito's bullshit enough? Why would Shishou take part? _Under some unknown impulse, he reached out to trace a bruise, marveling slightly at the softness of his cousin's skin. _The Hell? Shishou, what did you do? _

"Kyo?" Yuki called slowly raised his other hand and placed it atop of Kyo's. "I didn't thank you for that day."

Kyo blushed slightly and looked away but didn't move. Yuki looked half-asleep, there was no way he knew what he was doing. Still, this was a very pleasant Yuki and Kyo wasn't about to do anything to

"Haru did everything." He mumbled.

"Still." Yuki insisted, "Thank you." He smiled hesitantly.

Kyo found himself mesmerized by Yuki's smile. It was the first time he found it directed at him. There was something... Magnificent about it. He had to look away before he was overwhelmed.

"I'm sorry for hurting your shoulder." Kyo muttered, his eyes on their hands, noting the bruises on Yuki's other wrist.

"You didn't mean it." Yuki stated like it was the most certain thing in the world.

"…Maybe." Kyo whispered, "You came after me that time…"

"We all have to stop running away sometime." Yuki finished, knowing that he wasn't going to get anything more out of his cousin.

The two remained like that for a few more minutes, taking comfort from each other's presence.

"Did Honda San send you?" Yuki asked, needing to know if Kyo came on his own or not, and if Tohru was worrying about him. In his dreams, Tohru was always distant. He could only see her shadowy profile, but he was never able to reach her. Was she thinking of him as he of her?

"Yeah!" Kyo raised his hands behind his head nonchalantly, secretly grateful for the change in topic. "She was making such a fuss. Calling Hatori every day and sometimes she'd..." He stopped abruptly. _Better not to tell him about her crying._

"I see." Yuki's smile faltered, "Tell her that I'm well, not to worry and that I... hope to see her soon."

Something pulled inside of Kyo at Yuki's faltered smile. _Damn._

Yuki yawned, looking very sleepy once again.

"Uh... Maybe you should go back to sleep." Kyo suggested.

_I don't want you to leave me alone again but…_ Yuki nodded, as he turned to fluff the pillows behind him, much too tired to argue. Kyo was about to move off the bed when Yuki called out.

"Kyo?"

"Yeah?"

"I need help. Please." Yuki's face was turned away. "I'm so…tired."

"Yuki..."

Yuki wouldn't look at him and seemed to be shaking slightly. Kyo didn't need to see his face to know the expression it held. He just stood there feeling awkward while Yuki struggled to control himself.

Eventually, he turned his sorrowful eyes to meet Kyo's.

Kyo didn't know what to do. There was his mortal enemy, weak and scared, and asking him of all people for help. _Why the hell should I give it to him?_ _He always makes me suffer, undermines my suffering!_

He paused as he remembered how Yuki had come after him that rainy night. He had put their differences aside and came after him. Kyo had appreciated that, regardless of what he said, and now, Yuki needed the same from him.

It would be difficult, but Kyo knew he wouldn't want to feel indebted to Yuki for the rest of his life. This was his chance!

_All I have to do is say a few encouraging words and be out of here. Piece of cake! It's not like I actually have to actually mean them or crap like that…_

An indistinguishable amount of guilt accompanied that particular though, and Kyo didn't dare find out why. The feeling intensified upon looking over at his cousin's face, and Kyo found himself moving and talking before he realized.

"Come on." He awkwardly rubbed at his cousin's arm in what he hoped was a comforting manner as Yuki turned his face away again, so as not to let Kyo see his tears. "It'll be alright. Stop worrying."

Yuki just sniffled and Kyo wanted to smash something, then he noticed that Yuki's skin was quite cold to the touch. Too cold.

"You're cold." He mumbled, he rubbed the skin under his hands a few more times, then pulled away, far too uncomfortable.

Yuki nodded as he rubbed at his eyes. "You should go." He whispered.

But, Kyo didn't want to go just yet. How could he just go? He wanted to say something to Yuki. _What?_ He didn't want the other to think that he actually 'cared' or anything like that. _Do something!_ His mind screamed. So he did.

He reached to take Yuki's trembling hand in his and gave it a squeeze. "Don't give up. You're a stubborn bastard and you can beat him." He said gruffly. Not the kindest of words, but they seemed to do the trick as Yuki's face transformed from miserable, to surprised to grateful.

"I... Thank you."

"Un." Kyo stood to leave; he couldn't stand acting so out of character. _What's wrong with me?_ After scouting for movement, he pushed Yuki back against the bed, intending to climb out the window. As an afterthought he turned to his distressed cousin.

"I'll get you out of here but until then, you've got to stay alive!" He said sternly, trying not to let his tumultuous emotions show. Yuki nodded and smiled slightly, and his face, though bruised, framed delicately by his hair, all bathed in moonlight made Kyo's breath catch in his throat and he couldn't help but stare in wonder. Yuki smiled knowingly. "Don't forget to unlock the door." Kyo finally composed himself and jumped out the window, making his way out of the compound. Yuki reached up to close the window, then stood up and unlocked the door. Yuki fell asleep before his head hit the pillows.

This dream, it was so strange, surreal; Yuki loved it. His sleep usually dreamless thanks to the drugs, was of freedom and hope tonight.

Kyo jumped the last wall and landed outside. He paused for a moment and looked down at his hands. His hands, which he often used in trying to beat up Yuki. Tonight, they were the same hands that comforted Yuki.

He was embarrassed by his bizarre display of emotions, especially to his 'mortal' enemy. However, Yuki didn't look like his enemy tonight. He wasn't condescending, strong and beautiful… No, he was weak, hurt and beautiful. _Beautiful? _Yuki's beauty could never escape anyone, regardless of how they might feel about the Jyuunishi mouse. It was something he wasn't at all comfortable in thinking about.

He wasn't sure how he felt about Yuki now. It was always easy to overlook his beauty and grace and think of him as the sneaky mouse, but now Kyo was hit with a dose of Yuki head on. He tried to clear his head.

_Must be the moonlight. It made him look human or something._

This once, Kyo will not hate him.

_Yuki better not tell anyone that I..._ He thought angrily. _Shigure would start talking shit and Haru would probably get jealous._

_Damn Shigure, he knew what he was talking at dinner._ Kyo frowned then shook his head violently, and thought back to Yuki's plea.

With a serious expression, he sprinted back to Shigure's, thinking of ways to free his cousin.

XXX

The next day at school, and after a lot of thinking, Kyo told Tohru that he had visited Yuki the night before.

"Really!" Her eyes were huge with hope and gratitude. "Oh Kyo Kun! That's wonderful!"

Before he could get any more praises out of her, Momiji and Hatsuharu walked by and Tohru just HAD to share the great news with them. Kyo didn't even have a chance to protest.

"Momiji Kun! Hastuharu San! Kyo Kun visited Yuki Kun last night!"

"Kyo! You really went to see Yuki? Huh?" Momiji jumped up and down in joy. "That's great!"

Haru's eyes zoomed in on Kyo. "Did you really... see Yuki?"

"Yeah, I saw him." Kyo admitted reluctantly as he edged away from Haru.

"And?" Momiji prompted. Haru's eyes were intense while Tohru looked anxious.

"He's..." _What to tell them that won't upset Tohru or Haru? _"He's not having any problems with his asthma now!"

"Thank goodness!" Tohru smiled.

"Yay!" Momiji cheered.

"What else?" Haru stepped closer to Kyo, unconvinced.

"Nothing else! He says hello and crap like that!" Kyo moved back, not liking the gleam in Haru's eyes_. Uh oh. Black Haru._

"Are you sure, Kyo?"

"Yeah! Back off, Haru!"

"Did you comfort him, Kyo?" Haru hissed, "Did you hold him and tell him to wait for you?"

Kyo's jaw dropped. _How the hell did he know that? _"What are you talking about you idiot?"

"I think you want to be a hero, Kyo." Haru smiled grimly, "You want to be Yuki's hero."

"Ano…" Tohru started.

"Shut up, you dumb cow!" Kyo replied, anger overwhelming embarrassment.

"Haru." Momiji interjected. "It doesn't matter who saves Yuki, so long as someone does."

That seemed to snap Haru out of his mood. He gave Kyo a dark look and turned away.

Momiji sighed. "Haru's just upset. Since we live in the same house, its much harder for us to sneak into the clinic." He looked over at Haru's retreating form and sighed again. "Byebye, Tohru! Kyo!" before hurrying after his relative.

"Bye Momiji Kun! Hatsuharu San!" Tohru waved back, halfheartedly.

"That idiot! He's the one who goes all gaga over Yuki every time he sees him!" Kyo turned away indignantly.

Tohru looked worried again, and followed Kyo as he fumed.

"Ano, Kyo Kun?" She started, "Is there something you're not telling me?"

Kyo stopped in his tracks to look back at her. "What?"

Tohru continued to look him in the eye until he looked away. "Please tell me Kyo Kun!" Tohru pleaded, "Is he alright? Is he eating well? Is Akito San hurting him?"

"He wants you to know that he's alright!" Kyo nearly yelled in her face before rushing off, not wanting to lie anymore.

"Wait, Kyo Kun!" Tohru called out, knowing there would be no way for her to catch up to him now.

_Kyo Kun…_

XXX

When Yuki opened his eyes it was late afternoon. He woke up feeling refreshed, and much more awake than usual. He looked around to see Hatori, getting something from a cabinet.

"Hatori."

"What is it?" Hatori didn't turn to face him.

"It's been almost 2 weeks now." He started "How long…"

"I don't know." Hatori cut him off, knowing what it was Yuki was asking about. "That's up to Akito."

Hatori was still clearly upset about getting punched in the face or the remark about his eye. Or both.

Yuki frowned, but knew that alienating Hatori would not be in his best interest. "I'm sorry."

"I know. I'm sorry too."

Yuki was surprised at that. "You have to stay strong, Yuki. You have to eat every meal and rest at night. Otherwise, Akito may force you to stay here for being too sick." Hatori's voice was serious. Yuki's behavior, considering the situation was hardly reprehensible, but he had to coerce the boy into staying healthy.

"I know." Yuki relented "But..."

"I'll have someone bring you something to eat."

Yuki opened his mouth to protest when Hatori cut him of again "Then again, maybe I should get you some takeout. That way you'll know that there's nothing in it."

"Uh, Thanks."

Hatori turned to face him. And Yuki's eyes widened at the large bluish bruise adorning Hatori's chin. Then he turned his head away so Hatori wouldn't see his smile.

"You know, if that punch wasn't proof that you're still fighting..." Hatori sighed, "I'll go get you some food."

And so a few days passed with Yuki sleeping a little more regularly and eating. Akito would still come by and harass him, and sometimes he'd take him to the garden and talk about things Yuki could not remember. Yuki hated it. Akito was probably going crazy. But, he could not object.

Kyo could not visit Yuki again out of embarrassment. As soon as Shigure heard, he began badgering him about his 'secret ' feelings for Yuki and so on. He felt bad for promising Yuki to help him, but there was no way he could go back there at the moment. It was just too embarrassing, too incriminating.

Kyo wondered what the hell had possessed him to visit Yuki in the first place.

XXX

"Yes?" Hatori picked up the received.

"Ha San! It's been such a long time!" Shigure gushed.

Hatori sighed impatiently. "A week isn't a long time. What do you want?"

"Just wanted to check on my favorite Doctor and cousin, is that so wrong?"

"Why don't you ask about Yuki? He's the patient."

"Ah! Because I know he is in your capable hands! AND because Kyo... "

Hatori, sensing something important coming up, interrupted. "I'll call you back, I'm busy." and promptly hung up. Reaching for his cell phone, he called Shigure's cell.

"Ha San! You hurt my feelings by hanging up in my face!" Shigure whined.

"How many times do I have to tell you not to tell me important things where others can hear them?" Hatori moved to close the clinic door "Now, what about Kyo?"

"Kyo Kun snuck in to see Yuki Kun a few nights ago! Isn't that romantic?"

Hatori's eyes widened with surprise, then narrowed in irritation. "That idiot! What if he got caught?"

"But he didn't Ha San, nor would he have, because it was a labor of love!"

"Well tell him not to do it again. Akito's up to something!"

Shigure sobered. "Akito?"

Hatori lowered his voice. "He keeps taking Yuki to his garden."

"What!"

"He doesn't do anything, but he keeps trying to make him remember." Hatori's voice was edged with disgust.

"And Yuki Kun?"

"He doesn't remember anything of course. He tried to ask me about it."

"And...?"

"What do you think, idiot?"

"I think you can't just say, Yuki, Akito raped you in that garden and I erased your memory." Shigure answered quietly.

XXXXXX

AHHHH HAHAHAHA I bet you all saw this one coming. EVIL I AM SO MUCH! I'm serious, I'm sure you all saw this coming. Didn't you?

I want to thank everybody for their overwhelming support. Really, I'm not half as good as you u all seem to think I am, though there's no harm in continuing to think like that! 'Ego inflating' and I want to apologize for the delay in posting. I was working 2-3 hours over time a day. Poor me. Thanks for sticking with me guys!

Isn't Kyo a sweetie! And poor poor Yummy Yuki! All lonesome and miserable, of course Kyo couldn't help himself! Hey Kyo, keep your hands to yourself! J

I don't know what season strawberries grow in. I really have no idea. I just assumed that they were harvested and put in the fridge.

I am actually going to post the next part after the 26th of July, right after my return from Toronto (Can anyone tell me where I can find anime in Toronto?). Will you guys survive? Of course you will, after all;

Tatoeba kurushii kyou da to shite mo…Yeah, I know I'm flattering myself. LOL

It has been almost a year since I discovered the wonderfully addictive world of Furuba! I remember when my friend tota tota first told me about it. She kept saying Fruits Basket and I was like its not fruits! Its fruit! That's not English! LOL. I owe you big time tota ! Love you lots! My anime partner in crime in this boring country.

The part where Kyo visits Yuki at night was originally inspired by "Acceptance", a great Ranma 1/2 fic written by Darren Demain, of the Horde O' Hentai many years ago. Where are you guys?

Thanks to everybody again, Mlaine,(evil minions eh? Evil minions like evil cliffhangers!), Clone X, Sohma Risa, inu87yasha (I hope you sorted out the posting problem), huh, AnimeGirl718, Gwinny, SSJClaire, Berserk02, spacemonkey, Ssjgoddesschico, and tiNa (sorry about the spelling and stuff)

This chapter should be my first grammatical errors free chapter. WoHo! This is all thanks to Sohma Risa, who proof read this chapter. She's just so nice and smart and grammatically correct! Any complaints about grammar or spelling will be forwarded directly to her!

Thanks also to Raine, who was just too darn busy (Join the club) Oh well, next time.

Don't hold back now and shower me with your reviews!


	8. A Hopeless Place

A Warm Place

Disclaimer I don't own Yummy Yuki or any Fruits Basket character. Fruits Basket belongs to Takaya Natsuki.

A continuation of the anime series laced with some obsessive hallucinations of mine.

_Italics_ thoughts

XXXXXX

Kyo was frustrated, very much so. It was as if his conscience would not let up as a result of not fulfilling his promise to Yuki. Everywhere he'd go, he'd see a reminder of the Jyuunishi mouse; school, around the house and especially Tohru. She never said much about it, but whenever their eyes would meet, he would see the sadness she tried to hide and the tremble in her smile. The longing glances she'd cast at Yuki's empty desk in class, or how she'd stand in the doorway of Yuki's room, lost in thought or the bowl of strawberries in the fridge which no one would dare touch. The other day, he had been heading downstairs, and as he passed her room he had seen her tying her hair with a yellow ribbon, sniffling all the while. It didn't take a genius to figure it out; Yuki had given her the yellow velvety ribbons.

Kyo was quickly getting fed up with this situation. Tohru tried to remain cheerful at home and at school but Kyo could see how Yuki's continued absence was tearing at her, and he hated it. He hated that his mortal enemy would affect her so much. Would she feel the same was if he was gone? Would she be so distraught?

_No, of course not. She would never care about me like she does for that Bastard. _

And then he'd feel guilty for thinking like that and the cycle would continue.

Not being able to withstand Tohru or Momiji asking him if he was going to see Yuki again, or the dark looks Haru kept giving him, Kyo decided he had enough of school that day.

XXX

The walk home did him some good actually, and he was able to calm down some. _Maybe I should go see if Shishou left the main house._

Kyo slid the front door open, kicked off his shoes and headed to the kitchen for a refreshing glass of milk when he heard Shigure's muffled voice.

Kyo was in no mood to deal with his older cousin's antics but as he headed upstairs when he heard what sounded like his name. Curious, he crept closer to Shigure's makeshift office and listened.

"What?" Shigure sounded alarmed.

There was a pause.

"And Yuki Kun?"

"And...?"

Kyo quickly grew bored of the cryptic conversation and turned to leave when Shigure spoke at last.

"I think you can't just say, Yuki, Akito raped you in that garden and I erased your memory."

That got his attention and froze him to his spot. _WHAT!_

XXX

"Make sure that Kyo and everyone else understands that no one is to see Yuki!" Hatori continued, tone signaling the end of the conversation.

"Hai Hai. You're so good at giving orders, Ha San. Say hello to Yuki Kun for me. Bye."

Shigure shook his head in disgust as he hung up and turned to leave, sliding the Shoji open and coming face to face with an ashen-faced Kyo.

_Uh oh._ Shigure thought, running a hand through his hair.

"Akito...he? He!" Kyo couldn't even bring himself to say it.

Shigure sighed. "Why did you leave school early? I had no idea you were such a delinquent, Kyo Kun."

"Answer me damn you!" Kyo growled, grabbing fistfulls of Shigure's Grey yukata and shaking him.

Shigure didn't say anything while Kyo continued his violent treatment, _To Tell or not to tell?_

He pushed Kyo's hands away from his clothes as he examined the distraught teen before him.

"Yes, Akito did. Yuki was thirteen then." He walked to the porch, Kyo following numbly, struggling with the new.

"Why?" He whispered.

"Why what, Kyo Kun?"

"Why didn't anyone know?" Kyo yelled, outraged. "Why didn't anyone stop him?" His eyes burned with hatred of the Sohma Master.

"Only Ha San and I know about it. Ha San because he treated Yuki Kun and I because we used it as leverage to get Yuki Kun to move here with me." He paused, features saddened. "As for why didn't anyone stop him, I think you know that no one can. Nor did we expect it to happen."

_'No one can protect me from him'_ Yuki had said the very thing.

"Yuki.. How? What…?" The multitude of questions Kyo wanted to ask left him tongue-tied.

"Why should I tell you, Kyo Kun? You're most likely to use it against Yuki Kun." Shigure gave him a hard look.

"You bastard!" Kyo exploded, "I would never ever even think of doing that. To stoop so low as to…" He clenched his fists in rage.

Shigure, satisfied with Kyo's response, continued the tale.

"It was right after Yuki Kun danced at New Year's. Akito wanted a private performance. So, he took him to what he calls his private garden. It's pretty secluded. He gave Yuki Kun something to drink beforehand, maybe sake or wine, later we found out that he even mixed in a couple of his sleeping pills. Poor Yuki Kun must've been so terrified that he didn't know what he was drinking. Ha San says that the combination could have killed him." Shigure's eyes glistened slightly, "Akito wanted Yuki Kun to be awake, but helpless. He kept him there all night then took him back to his room at dusk. You know how sound of a sleeper Yuki Kun is, so you can imagine how out of it he would be when drugged. Ha San had been looking for Yuki Kun all night and was waiting in his room. When Akito brought him in Ha San saw the bloodstains on his clothes… And when Ha San confronted him, Akito said that he could do whatever he wanted since Yuki Kun belonged to him. Because we all belong to him." The novelist chuckled morbidly.

"Poor Yuki Kun was still half asleep or affected by what Akito made him drink so he didn't even realize what had happened. When Ha San told him, he became hysterical and had a bad asthma attack, we had to take him to the hospital."

Shigure hadn't shared everything, but it was enough to plant a seed of compassion in Kyo for Yuki.

"Why did Hatori erase Yuki's memory?" Kyo snarled. "Is that how you bastards solve things when Akito gets out of hand!"

"Yuki Kun couldn't handle it. He became unresponsive. He wouldn't talk, wouldn't sleep, wouldn't eat. He would just stare at the wall all day, look right through you, tears streaming down his face." Shigure choked slightly at the end.

"He was killing himself, he had already transformed a few times and it was getting harder to treat him. Akito came to see him one day. After that, he became unstable and needed constant supervision, worse than before. Ha San offered to erase his memory of the incident and pressed Akito to let Yuki Kun leave the compound as it may trigger repressed memories. Akito agreed reluctantly, for fear that he may lose his precious Rat."

"How come no one knew?" Kyo asked. _Yuki has a family. He has a brother!_

"You know about Yuki Kun's parents, Kyo." The teen nodded, he should have known better than ask.

"We kept Aya and everyone else away by telling them Akito had instructed that no one was to see Yuki. It happened all the time back then, so on one thought anything of it. His memory of the night after the dance and the week or so after that were erased. We basically told him that he was allowed to leave because of his illness and how difficult it was to convince Akito of that. A few weeks later he moved in here with me and you know the rest."

Kyo shook his head in shock. _Yuki. Raped._ He felt like vomiting, he felt like hurting someone, but most of all, he felt guilty. Guilty for thinking that his suffering was greater than Yuki's. That Yuki deserved whatever he got.

"No one deserves that." He whispered. _The worst part, is that Yuki doesn't even know what happened to him. He didn't know that Akito used him. That Bastard, the next time I see him…_

Kyo continued to struggle with his emotions when Shigure placed a friendly hand on his shoulder. "Can you keep a secret, Kyo Kun?"

"Don't worry." Kyo wiped at his face and walked away.

XXX

Hatori ran his hands through his hair, frustrated. Irritated. Infuriated. Akito was certain to do something soon, he seemed so restless lately. The anger grew, due to Hatori's inability to exert any sort of influence or control over the situation. All he could do was watch the happenings between Akito and Yuki.

_Yuki._

Would he figure out what they were hiding? He desperately hoped not. He was unstable enough, and a discovery such as this would make him …unpredictable. But, Akito would never relent.

Thinking back to the last time he spoke with the Sohma Master, when Yuki was still under the influence of the sedative. Akito would often come to the clinic and watch him as he slept. Hatori made sure to be around just in case Akito decided to take advantage of Yuki's vulnerable state, though it was highly unlikely. Akito was too much of a sadist to do anything if Yuki wasn't able to respond to it.

"Hatori?" Akito called out as he ran his hands through Yuki's hair and down his face, tracing his eyelids, nose, and lips. Hatori grit his teeth as he answered and turned away, not wanting to see.

"Yes?"

"Yuki is confused. That idiot Honda Tohru has confused him. He thinks that living outside will help him." He chuckled grimly. "He doesn't know that the people outside will betray him, hurt him, wear him down for what he is. That idiot girl…she tells him that he can be accepted and poor Yuki, he believes her, he's so silly like that!"

Hatori remained silent as Akito continued.

"Yuki has to learn that the Jyuunishi can never be normal. We can't live normal lives, we can't be accepted into society, no one will ever associate with us if they knew our nature. We're freaks. Cursed. Tainted. Destined to be alone our entire lives, watching the outside world pass us by as we learn to appreciate that the curse goes beyond Physical changes. It's all encompassing, overwhelming every part of our lives. For eternity and after.

"I tried to teach Yuki to value the life that he has as much as the Rat should. After all, he is the most important Jyuunishi. He is both loved and hated. It cannot be changed. That's the way it has always been."

Akito turned to meet Hatori's confused eyes. "Once the outside world betrays Yuki, he will return to me, broken once again. And then he will finally understand that he only has me in his miserable existence. He will never be able to deny my influence in his life ever again. He will learn to love me once again as he did before he left the house. And this time…you will not interfere. He is no longer a child and I will not allow you to come between us again."

Hatori remained silent under Akito's angry gaze. _I will not, Akito. I will not allow you to destroy that poor boy, because god knows how much more of your 'love' he can take._

Akito smirked at Hatori's silence and returned to watching Yuki sleep. "He's so beautiful like this. But, I prefer him awake. I want to hold his eyes with mine as he trembles. It's incredible. To know that you have that much power over someone." Akito laughed loudly and turned to face the Doctor.

"You should try it sometime, Hatori. Maybe it'll help you loosen up a bit. You've been so stiff and cold for so long now. Then again, you've always been cold Hatori. It's what helps you do your job so well, isn't it?" The Jyuunishi Master got to his feet and approached the older man, reaching up to brush Hatori's cheek. "Hatori has already learned what Yuki must. He has to understand that I only look out for his best interests. Just like I did for you. The Jyuunishi belong together. No one must come between us."

With that, Akito walked out of the clinic, leaving Hatori alone with memories and regret.

XXX

Needless to say, Kyo spent the rest of the day on the roof. Not lounging, rather pacing. His feelings teetered between rage and anguish. _How could this happen? How could anyone do something like that?_

The answer was clear; Akito was a monster that had to be stopped before he destroyed any more lives._ What would Yuki do if he found out? How angry would he be? How hurt? Could Akito have hurt others the same way? If the solution was to erase the victim's memory then he could get away with nearly anything!_

His promise to Yuki came back to him, and he felt a sudden need to see the Jyuunishi Rat, to know that he was well. He got to his feet quickly and prepared to hop down to the ground when he stopped in his tracks. _How can I face Yuki, knowing this? How can I look him in the eye and tell him that everything's alright? _

"ARRGH!" Hence, he spent the rest of the night on the roof, telling Tohru he had a headache when she called him for dinner. _I can't face her either._

XXX

Across town, Yuki was also deep in thought. Nearly 3 weeks had passed since his impromptu captivity. He had been when Hatori had asked him about Kyo's visit. He was so certain that it was all a dream. Now, confusion littered his mind and he couldn't help but wonder why Kyo never came to see him again.

Maybe the Cat was trying to be cruel, by acting as a lifeline then leaving Yuki hanging as he waited to be rescued. _Baka Neko! _He didn't know why he kept expecting Kyo to drop by. Maybe it was because he was so surprised that someone actually dared to defy Akito's orders, Kyo of all people. Maybe he had scared him off, being civil to him, thanking him.

The again, Yuki never really wanted to be rude to Kyo. He never wanted to fight with him. It was Kyo who started this ridiculous feud, blaming him for everything wrong in his life. Ridiculous.

_What an idiot! Didn't he know that I am as alone as he was? I don't have any more of a mother or family. At least he has Shihan. I never had anybody. They all left me at Akito's mercies. At least Kyo's Mom loved him. She had told him that much. No one ever said that they loved me, except for Akito and NiiSan._ Yuki shuddered to think of Akito's distorted idea of love, which involved complete submission to his sadistic whims for physical punishment and emotional abuse. And Ayame…Yuki had tried to understand his brother, meticulously so, but it was difficult to forget the years he spent alone, ignored by Ayame, whom he had often asked for help. His brother's outrageous behavior also served as a barrier…but it always came down to the fact that his brother was never there when he had needed him. _Being betrayed by people I trust is nothing new. I trusted Akito once..._

Yuki snuggled deeper under the covers. He wondered about Tohru. Did she miss him as much as he missed her? She had quickly made her way into his heart, constantly prodding at the ice to melt and feel and trust. She had done it so easily, so gently. Yuki's view of life before she came along consisted of skepticism and distrust. But now, he actually tried to give people a chance, even his brother! She had changed him so much in the year he'd known her.

Yuki always wondered how he would describe his feelings for the girl. Friendship? Was it admiration? Was it love? Yuki knew that they were friends. They had conversations easily flowing from topic to topic without awkwardness. She had invited him to visit her mother's grave, an honor he cherished as a sign of her faith in him as a friend. Sure, she was a little naïve when it came to the opposite sex, but could she possibly… even slightly... feel anything more than friendship?

Yuki laughed bitterly. Of course not, she was too selfless, too generous, too concerned with the feelings of others to even consider choosing one person over another. It made Yuki angry, that he had to share her with others like Kyo, who already had someone. Sure, he would laugh at Kyo's and Kagura's relationship, but didn't Kyo see how lucky he was? Kagura was devoted to him and only him. _Ok, so she's violent and clumsy but still, her unconditional love for Kyo allows her to overlook all his faults, even his Nekozuki form. She even knew that Tohru was who Kyo needed to be accepted by that night, regardless of how much it hurt her. She could be so mature sometimes, and so violent the rest of the time… _

Ok, so maybe it was unfair to assume that Kyo should be satisfied or content with Kagura's devotion, especially when he didn't seem to like it and was more afraid of her than anything…

Yuki sighed. He knew that Kyo had feelings for Tohru as well, it was blatantly obvious_. Am I as obvious?_ Regardless, he had to focus on getting out of here, then he could worry about it. _As if. So long as Akito's around, I could live in Australia and still be scared of him. Why can't I just say no? Why does his presence scare me this much? When will I ever get over this?_

The door opened and Yuki looked up to see the object of his thoughts grinning at him.

"Lets go, Yuki."

XXX

A few minutes later, Yuki was sitting in the secret garden, failing a desperate attempt at staying composed under Akito's gaze. Akito had been eyeing him strangely all day and it was creeping him out.

"You really don't remember, do you?" The Sohma master started, running his hand up Yuki's arm.

"Remember what?"

"That night you danced at the party. You were magnificent." Akito licked his lips and smiled. Yuki didn't like where this was going.

"I remember the party." He began edging away from Akito, who stuck a hand out to pull Yuki up against him, his slow movements as profane as his thoughts.

"That night. You danced for me here." He whispered in Yuki's ear. "This is our special place Yuki. What we had here, no one can take away." He nuzzled Yuki's hair

"What are you talking about?" The younger Sohma was genuinely frightened now, trying to pull away.

"That night, I made you mine, my beautiful Yuki." Akito leaned close. "You were soft and warm. Your lips tasted like honey." He held Yuki's face between his hand and gave the delicate check a long, slow lick.

Yuki cried out in shock and disgust, pushing Akito away.

He clutched at his head, what was this? "What did you do to me?" he managed through the sudden pain. His mind raced and bombarded him with blurred images and voices, half sentences and feelings.

"I made you mine, Yuki." Akito replied simply.

"Stop it!" Yuki screamed, his head threatening to explode.

The feelings were clearest of all. Terror. Betrayal.

Get away from here, the emotions seemed to say.

"Try to remember, what happened after the party?" Akito asked him gleefully, cocking his head in mock understanding.

"I-I. ..went to bed" Yuki whimpered, franticly trying to remember. "I..."

Despair.

"You went to bed with me."

"No! You're sick. I never..." Yuki clutched at his head again.

"You tried to resist you know, and I had to calm you down." Akito continued like he hadn't heard, "I had you right here, it started snowing. How appropriate."

Hopelessness.

Yuki whimpered, finding it hard to breathe. Akito went on "You bit me, you know. So I pushed some snow in your face, but I didn't know that I had picked up a small frozen rock from around the pond, so I cut you pretty deep." Akito approached the trembling figure. "It was…" he leaned in close and pushed Yuki's long hair away to trace a hidden scar. "Right here." Yuki gasped in horror, then began wheezing.

"Your eyes were exquisite then as I held them with mine. You knew then, that I ruled you and that you must submit to me."

"You're lying!" He managed, trying to stand up.

"Lie?" Akito asked, the amusement and lust gone from his eyes "Why would I lie about that? It was Hatori who took it away from you. Took you away from me!" His face was now contorted in fury.

The feelings now solidified into something horrible. Some thing pushed through…a horrible realization.

Yuki shook his head in denial. "No…" Akito raped him. Hatori erased his memory. _Akito raped me…_

"No…" he whispered before his asthma attack came at full force, and he fell to the ground gasping for breath and struggling under the weight of this merciless half-memory, tears streamed unabated down his face.

Akito stayed by his side, stroking his hair, a mockery of a smile on his face.

XXXXXX

Now that I'm back from my very short vacation, I shall continue the story as promised though I'm still trying to get over my jetlag. Yesterday I only had 2.5 hours sleep and I had to go to work. I'm a little better today though.

OK, so nothing much happened in this part. This is my introspection chapter, but don't worry I promise more action in the next chapter and definitely some in chapter 10. Woho I can't wait. Oh yeah, and sorry for the sorry state of chapter 7. I don't know what was wrong with at the time. I was trying to post for over an hour and the format just wouldn't work. Never mind.

I tried to dramatize the memory loss, I was thinking if someone tried to remember something and couldn't, they usually end up with a headache, right? Well, I do anyways.

I am quite aware the similarity between this fic and 'Overcome', a great fic, but unfortunately, I can't remember the author's name. Using New Years was going to make things a lot easier when referring to the rape. It was going to be too much trouble to say "Hey Yuki remember that night Akito took you to his garden" and Yuki will say, "what night?" Besides, I think Yuki looked so damn yummy and awesome dancing that Akito just had to have him. Ew.

Super duper special thanks to Sohma Risa who helped me out once again with the grammar and stuff. Not only that, she also told me where to find anime in Toronto and thanks to her I am;

22 Ranma ½ graphic novels, 8 Fushigi Yugi graphic novels, 4 Inu Yasha graphic novels, 4 Lum graphic novels, 2 X 1999 graphic novels, and a Fruba Character book richer! Not to mention the DVDs, T-shirts and import games I bought. HAHAHA I'm so happy! Not to mention poor. Thanks a whole bunch Risa! Can't wait for Chapter 2 of Shindemo ii.

Now on to the reviewers. Thanks a lot everybody; Mlaine, Polka Dot (Your answer is in the story!), Ssjgoddesschico (thanks for sticking with me and Sorry for the delay. I hope you're alive to read this! LOL), Yami Girl, Trunks-chan, secretmirror180, Sohma Risa, SSJ Claire (Ayame is coming!), and Gia (THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU ).

A few of you are asking for a pairing. I have a pairing in mind but it will be a while before I present them. The way things are going in the Manga will cause some changes in the story though (I can't help it!), so I may end up changing the ending! Anyways, for now I want to focus on Yuki and get him away from that bastard Akito! My apologies. I do love Haru's gentleness and Kyo can be pretty nice too. But you know, the funny thing is I wasn't aiming for a male pairing at all! Just wanted the characters to get along better, but so many of you are rooting for shounen ai…we'll have to wait and see. Especially you Tsukitani!

Also thanks to those who read and reviewed the CENSOR point! Yuri, Ssjgoddesschico, Alexandra-Kyoko, Sakuya, Sohma Risa, and Gia. I'm glad you all liked it. My brother tells me that when I argue with people, I'm a lot like Ayame. I don't know if I'm flattered or offended. LOL. Unfortunately, this was only a one shot so I don't think I'll be continuing it.

Until next time. Review away!


	9. A Deceitful Place

A Warm Place

Disclaimer I don't own Yummy Yuki or any Fruits Basket character. Fruits Basket belongs to Takaya Natsuki.

A continuation of the anime series laced with some obsessive hallucinations of mine.

_Italics_ thoughts

XXXXXX

Ayame paced his living room. It'd been weeks since he'd last seen his brother. He'd been so preoccupied with the matter that his work was starting to suffer. _How could Akito do this? Separating family like this? It's inhuman. But...Gure San said that this happened all the time. I even remember it happening once or twice back then..._

"My poor Little Brother! How you have suffered!" He suddenl;y exclaimed passionately, then immediately quieted, remembering that he was alone. With every passing day he'd learn more about Yuki's tormented past and his guilt would multiply. How Yuki survived his childhood was a miracle.

_He is much stronger than he gives himself credit. But this is my chance. He has already allowed me back into his life, now it's my chance to prove to him that I'm not a bothersome presence, but the loving older brother that I am._

_Ayame saw himself running down the long dark hallways of the inner Sohma house, until he reached the clinic, where Yuki was wallowing in misery. As he opened the door, the clinic was bathed in the light of brotherly affection and Yuki looked up at his brother with wonder, adoration and admiration._

_"Niisan!" He smiled through his grateful tears. "You came! Just like you promised! I'm so happy!"_

_"Yes, my dear Yuki! Your loving brother has come to fulfill his promise of rescuing you from this dark prison. Come now, Let's leave this forsaken place!" Ayame scooped his brother up into his powerful arms and turned to leave._

_Then, the ominous Akito appeared in the doorway. "What are you doing? Put my precious down Now!" He screeched._

_"Niisan!" Yuki would huddle in his brother's arms for protection._

_"No, Akito! I have come to rescue my brother from your cruel imprisonment. You will no longer terrorize him with you unnatural obsession. As of now, he is free to return to his life, friends and devoted brother! Now step aside!"_

_"And if I say no?" Akito narrowed his eyes._

_"You cannot say no to the power of brotherly love! My love for my cute little brother transcends all time and space. It's a force so powerful that it makes grown men fall to their knees in awe! It's a force that the heavens themselves bless as a final salvation for mankind in this sinister world!"_

_"Well, since you put it that way, you may go Ayame. I never realized what an intelligent and admirable man you are. Yuki is lucky to have you for a loving older brother." Akito replied with a smile and stepped aside to let them pass._

_"Thank you, Akito!" Ayame stepped out into the morning light with his brother. _

_"Niisan, you were amazing! I want to be just like you!"_

_"No, my dear little brother! My life is not the one for you to follow. I have erred and sinned as I stumbled alone on this earth. But now, we shall go through life together every step of the way! Say you will forgive my ignorance and misguided actions!"_

_"Of course I forgive you, Niisan!" Yuki smiled up at his brother._

_And it was a new beginning for the two under the warmth of the bright sun and the glorious endless blue sky..._

Ayame grinned triumphantly. "Yes Yuki! You shall soon be free to play and love your older brother!"

Reality clicked in.

Ayame slumped in a chair, feeling depressed. "Unlikely."

When Ayame was depressed (when is he ever depressed?) there was only one thing he would do to cheer himself up. Ayame picked up the phone and dialed.

"Tori San! How is my cute little brother?"

"He's fine, considering." Hatori replied in his perpetually solemn tone.

"I'm positive that you have done your utmost to ensure that he is well, Tori San! But you must help me, I must speak with Yuki!"

"You know I can't, Ayame." Hatori sighed. "Akito's orders strictly forbid anyone from seeing him or speaking with him."

"...Well, will you please let him know that I called? That I wish him well and that I shall dedicate all my latest creations to his beautiful spirit?"

Hatori considered telling Ayame that Yuki would be horrified to know that, but then that would lead to an even longer conversation with the vivacious Sohma. He gave in. "I will, Ayame."

Strangely Ayame, didn't feel up to prolonging the conversation either. "Thank you. Bye, Tori San."

Ayame sighed sadly then dialed again.

"Gure San!"

"Aya! How are you?"

"Going out of my mind!"

"Or what's left of it!" Shigure chuckled.

"This is no time for jokes, Gure San! My poor little brother has been away too long. I have to do something. I told him I'd help him!"

Shigure was taken back momentarily, surprised by Ayame's sudden and unexpected involvement in the Main house's affairs. "Did you really? When?"

"Yes, it was the first night he spent there! Yuki was the very picture of dejection! A soft and gentle, beautiful lamb frightened by the presence of a dark and ominous wolf! How could I not pledge my brotherly devotion?"

"Well, what do you have in mind? Are you willing to ignore Akito's orders?"

"But, that will hurt Yuki in the end, won't it? Isn't there another way, Gure San?"

"I really don't see one, Aya. All you can do now is let Yuki know that you're trying."

"That's not enough!" Ayame replied emotionally. "He gave me a chance to redeem myself to him. I mustn't waste it!"

"My my, such dedication! Tell you what; Lets go visit Ha San. Maybe he can help."

"I already spoke to him, and he said that he couldn't go against Akito's orders."

"We'll see. Don't despair yet. When can you come by?"

XXX

Kyo didn't go to school that day. He told Tohru he wasn't feeling well, and agreed to her suggestion that he sleep it off.

He spent the whole morning in bed, just staring at the ceiling.

_I feel so damn helpless. What if he does it again? To Yuki. Kisa, Hiro or Momiji? What if it already happened to someone else and their memory was already erased?_

Knowing what he did, Kyo felt responsible to prevent this from happening to anyone else. _But, how in the world can I stop Akito? if Hatori and Shigure aren't doing anything about it, how can I? Why do we let him do this to us?_

"DAMN IT!" Kyo punched the floorboard in rage. "Why couldn't things just stay simple?"

_Why couldn't I just keep on hating him...?_

XXX

Outside, in the woods surrounding Shigure's house, Kyo ended his meditation. Kazuma had often told him that when he felt overwhelmed with anger and frustration, that meditation was the best way to deal positively with the negative emotion. Kyo had a lot of said emotion to deal with.

At the end, he did feel a little calmer, his thought's more composed. Just a bit more. _The only way I'll let go of this anger is by breaking Akito's face._ He stretched slowly and wiped his clothes as he got to his feet.

"Kyo…"

Kyo turned slowly in the direction of the speaker.

_Uh oh. Haru._

"What is it, Haru? If you want to fight, I'm not in the mood." Kyo decided to put his foot down while he still could. _You don't want to bother me today…_

"I don't want to fight. I want to talk to you." Hatsuharu answered monotonously and Kyo sighed in relief that it was White Haru in front of him.

"What about? Don't you have school?" The older teen walked to a clearing and lowered himself to lounge on the grass.

"I should ask you the same question. But I want to talk about Yuki." Haru replied, "He's much more important than School."

He turned to give Kyo an accusing look. "I've wanted to talk to you for a while now and you've been avoiding me."

Kyo froze. _Did he find out? Oh Shit oh shit…_

"I didn't want to get in trouble for fighting in school." Kyo replied as calmly as he could. _Please don't let him find out._

He then yawned loudly, putting on an air of nonchalance. "What about the Kuso Nezumi?"

Haru gave Kyo a strange look as he sat down next to him. "That's funny, Kyo. You defy Akito to see him and still can't let go of 'Kuso Nezumi'?"

"Hey! What's that supposed to mean?" Kyo demanded, defensive to Haru's unstated implications.

"Why'd you go, Kyo?" Haru asked, eyes boring into the other's. "You of all people?"

"That's-that's none of your business! I went because I felt like it!"

"That's all? You just felt like it?"

"Yeah! What is it with you? Nobody would've gotten on your case if you went. But, everybody immediately assumes the worse of me if I even bother and try to be nice to anyone!"

"Not just to anyone Kyo. To Yuki, the Jyuunishi Mouse. Your mortal enemy, as you usually put it." Haru hissed.

Kyo was already edgy and the inquiry wasn't helping. "What the hell do you want from me, Haru? An apology because I saw him and you didn't? Are you angry Haru? Losing sleep over it? Or are..." The rant was interrupted by Haru tackling him roughly to the ground.

"Damn straight I'm angry!" He growled into Kyo's surprised face. "Angry because a shitty bastard like you, whose sole purpose in life is causing grief for Yuki, got to see him. What right do you have? Since when do you even give a damn what happened to him? If he died, you'd dance on his grave! I've been there for him my whole life! Anytime he needed me I'd be there for him! How dare you pretend that you care now when he's hurting so much? How dare you leave him hanging like that when he's so vulnerable that—"

"ENOUGH!" Kyo screamed and punched Haru off of him. "You're the bastard! How dare you assume that you know anything about me or how I feel? So what if we've been fighting our whole lives? Do you think it's all my fault? Like nothing's ever his fault? Like he's some kind of angel and I'm the devil? Blame it all on the worthless Cat?"

"You—"

"You're so blind when it comes to him. You and everyone else and you all just assume that—"

"How many times have you wished him dead and told him to his face? You're always picking fights and I'm sick of it. I don't know what kind of sick game you're playing with Yuki..." Haru growled as he stood up to face his cousin.

Kyo silenced his cousin with a well-placed punch to the jaw. "SHUT UP! I'm not gonna let you talk shit about what I did. Just because we don't get along doesn't mean that I don't care what happens..." Kyo stopped abruptly. _Shit! What the hell was I going to say…? And in front of Haru of all people!_

Haru gaped. Kyo turned away to hide his embarrassment. _SHIT!_

"Did you just say…?" Hatsuharu started as he slowly stood up, out of Black mode.

"I didn't say anything!" Kyo yelled.

Haru didn't say anymore, watching Kyo's quivering back for a few minutes, then smiled to himself. _So he got to you too eh?_

"I see. I'm sorry I doubted your motives, Kyo."

Kyo didn't say anything in return.

Haru approached slowly, and stood next to the fizzled youth. After a few moments of silence, he asked. "How was Yuki then?"

Kyo was quiet for a long time, and Haru didn't push it. "Tired. And… scared." He eventually responded, tone soft and low.

Haru clenched his fists in frustration but didn't say anything to that.

"He has to get out of there, Haru. Someone has to get him out of there before Akito hurts him anymore."

"How? So long as Hatori-niisan isn't willing to help what can we do? The last thing I want to do is put Yuki at risk."

The two young men looked up to the sky as if it had all the answers.

"Do you think you could go back there?" Haru asked again.

"You mean sneak in again?"

"Yeah. Except… take me with you this time."

Kyo shook his head, scowling. "I don't think that'll work. I'm sure the news got to Hatori and he won't let me near the clinic again. Besides, if I take you along I'll probably lose you halfway." He smiled slightly here.

"Yeah, you might." Haru replied neutrally, "Did he say anything? I know you didn't want to say anything upsetting in front of her."

_Or you for that matter_. Kyo thought but answered nonetheless. "He asked about everybody and said that he hopes to see everyone soon."

"Hmmm. Kyo, what made you go there? Don't get mad. I just want to know."

Kyo sighed and lay back down on the grass. Kyo himself didn't know what his motivation for the visit was. "I don't know. Maybe because Tohru was so damn worried that I had to see if he was OK. If he was and I told her, she'd stop. I was getting sick of her constant worrying."

"So, you really weren't worried about him?" Haru asked, and Kyo wasn't sure if it was a question or an accusation.

"Of course not!"

Haru smiled again, and returned to watching the clouds. "The thing I love most about Yuki is something he isn't aware of himself. He's really hard on himself, you know. He's been through so much and doesn't think very highly of himself or his abilities most of the time.

But sometimes, he doesn't have to do or say anything special. It could be just a smile or a casual word, but coming from him, the way he says it, it's almost...addictive.

Strangely, he always doubts his motives for helping, his humanity and that why he keeps his heart wrapped up and unreachable. But he does make his way into other's hearts because he would know exactly what to say or do when you need it. Kinda like her. I know you know what I mean, Kyo, because he saved the both of us the exact same way."

Kyo looked up in surprise. "How did you know that?" _I never said anything to anyone about that night!_

"I don't know the details. But, I heard that he went after you."

"Un. He did." Kyo replied in embarrassment. "I didn't ask him nor did I want him there!"

"He really isn't half as bad as the legend makes him out to be." Haru laughed quietly.

"No, I guess he isn't." Kyo mumbled in reply. It was the closest he would ever come to admitting that he didn't hate Yuki. "Not bad but not good either!"

Having had enough soul searching for the day, he headed towards the house, Haru following silently.

As he approached the back porch, he heard Ayame and Shigure talking.

"Cheer up, Aya." Shigure was saying. "With that attitude there's no way you'll be able to accomplish anything."

"I can't help but worry, Gure San. I ca not bear the thought of my poor little brother at the hands of Akito! God knows how he could be suffering as we speak!"

"Ha San said he'd look out for him." Shigure retorted. "It'll be all right."

"Fine, fine. Lets go see Tori San." Ayame replied dismissively as he hurried towards the front door. "Are you sure he'll help?"

"No, I'm not. But it won't hurt." The novelist added.

XXX

"Hey…" Haru called to Kyo's back. "Why'd you stop?"

"Ayame and Shigure are going to see Hatori!" Kyo hissed.

"So?"

"So, maybe something happened!"

"Hmm. You want to follow them?" Haru turned to face Kyo, a smile slowly spreading across his features.

Kyo's expression mirrored his. "Let's go."

XXX

_Kyo Kun knows something. I'm positive._ Tohru thought as she walked back home. _Why won't he tell me? I have to know if Yuki Kun's all right!_

"Toohru!" Momiji skipped over. "Have you seen Haru?"

"Momiji Kun! No, I haven't seen him all day."

"Ehhh! He skipped without telling me! I thought he might've got lost!" Momiji whined.

"Maybe he's not feeling well. Kyo Kun stayed at home too."

"Really? Kyo?"

"Yes. He's hasn't been feeling well for a while now actually. Ever…ever since he went to see Yuki Kun." She sighed sadly. "He's been so distant and angry."

"What's wrong, Tohru?" Momiji asked as he pulled on her sleeve, worried.

"It's just...I-I think Kyo Kun's hiding something about Yuki Kun."

"Yeah. I felt that way too." Momiji agreed, "But Hari says that Yuki's Ok and Hari wouldn't lie to me!" He argued.

"I know, but I just have this feeling…" She said weakly, yet at noting Momiji's anxious face she put on her best smile. "You're right, Momiji Kun! I'm sure that Hatori San is taking excellent care of Yuki Kun."

Momiji looked at her strangely for a second. _Don't hide your worry Tohru. Not from me._ Though he went along with her. "Right!"

"Did you get Hatsuharu San's make up work?" Tohru asked cheerfully.

"Yeah! Did you get Kyo's?"

"Yes! Thankfully, he didn't miss that much today. Of course…I have Yuki's Kun's too…" She trailed off, sadness evident again.

"I wish I knew Kyo was absent sooner, then I would've been able to play with you without having him get all mad!" Momiji bounced happily, attempting to distract her from her sorrows.

"Eh? Like what?"

"Like this!" With that, Momiji hugged her tightly.

POOF

XXX

_Darkness. It was dark all around and he couldn't see._

_So tired… _

_Want to sleep. But this isn't my bed. It's too rough and bumpy._

_Can't move. Why can't I move?_

_Cold..._

_Someone's saying something. But my eyes won't focus._

_Who?_

_"Y..r...ine...ki."_

_What?_

_"..nt...ve"_

_I don't understand!_

_Can't move. I'm numb. Can't move._

_It's getting cold. But I'm so... tired._

**_TOUCH _**

_Can't move! What are you...?_

**_COLD_**

_What's happening? What're you doing? I can't see..._

**_PANIC_**

_Don't...Please! I Can't...can't move!_

**_FEAR_**

_Oh god, stop it!_

**_PAIN_**

_NO! Please Stop it!_

**_PAIN_**

_STOP IT!_

**_BLOOD_**

_STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP IT!_

_...Snow..._

Yuki's eyes snapped open and he lurched forward, gasping for breath.

_A dream. It's just a dream. _

It was a recurring dream in actuality; always leaving him nauseous and terrified. He had long since given up trying to decipher what it signified.

He slowly opened his eyes and found himself back in the clinic.

Hatori was looking down at him, a sad expression on his normally stoic face.

Yuki didn't need to ask, it was true. That mysterious dream, no longer required deciphering.

He began to hyperventilate again, the gasps for breath accented with hoarse sobs.

"Why?" He managed through his wheezing.

Hatori brought the nebulizer mask closer. "Why what?"

"Why did you let him do this to me?" The teen sobbed. "Why'd you let me live?"

"If you don't calm down, I won't tell you what happened." Hatori replied sternly as he placed the mask over Yuki's face.

The teen's gasps slowly quieted and he looked up at Hatori with betrayal written all over his face.

"It was after New Year's Dance. Akito made you drink something." Hatori paused to look away, no longer able to look at Yuki's wounded, tearful face.

"We took you to the hospital. You became catatonic. You were slowly killing yourself. Akito came to visit. You… you needed to be sedated after that. When things were under control, I brought you back here to recover, but the damage had been too great. You tried to kill yourself. You overdosed on your asthma medication then slit your wrists." Yuki looked down in surprise at his wrists, the pale narrow lines running across them finally making sense. His body was covered with so many similar looking injuries and scars; he didn't remember the story behind half of them.

"I don't think you even knew what you were doing. You were in so much pain…"

Hatori looked up, eyes burning with shame and tremendous guilt. "It was by chance that I came in to check on you in the middle of the night, otherwise you would've been dead."

The Doctor bowed his head in apology. "I'm sorry. It's my fault. I didn't think you'd get so desperate. I should've seen the signs that Akito would do this; maybe I could've done something. I should've erased your memory before you started grieving."

Yuki found his own hands trembling with a hybrid of emotions. _Desperate? I wanted... to die?_

He buried his head in his arms. _He took it from me. I have nothing clean left. Why didn't they let me die? They tricked me. I thought I was getting better. I... I thought I was strong enough to deal with Akito but I'm not. He was laughing at me the whole time and I thought I defied him. They were all laughing at me. Poor little Yuki. He doesn't know what happened to him. It's best that he doesn't know...he's not strong enough to handle it!_

A weak sob escaped his lips. _But, I'm not. I'm not strong at all. I'm a pathetic, weak, tainted freak. Oh god, Honda San. I can never touch you now. I'm so filthy and pitiful. _

Strangely, he couldn't cry, not the tears of someone who just found out he'd been raped. No. As his sobs subsided, there was an emotion far stronger building inside him that made his sadness seem insignificant.

Anger.

He was angry. Angry that he'd been taken advantage of like this. Angry that no one had protected him. Angry that they'd fooled him by erasing his memory.

_I won't. I won't fall back into Akito's trap. I don't care if I die trying but there's no way I'll let that bastard hurt anyone else._

He uncurled slowly, composing himself and aware of the eyes on him. Pulling the mask off his face and pushing the covers off, Yuki got to his feet, and stopped to grab one of the inhalers Hatori bought for him on his way out of the clinic.

"That's your solution, huh? Erasing my memory?" Yuki said quietly as he reached for the doorknob.

"Where are you going?" Hatori started to get up.

"I'm leaving." Yuki stated, voice emotionless as he placed the inhaler in his shirt pocket and walking though the door. As he began to walk a little faster, Hatori sprinted to catch up with him.

"Yuki..."

"Shut up, Hatori." Yuki replied as he shrugged off the hand on his shoulder, giving the Doctor a look of disdain. "I don't want to hear anything you have to say."

"Yuki!" Haru called out as he ran up to his cousin, looking both ecstatic and concerned. "Are they letting you go home?"

Yuki felt part of him rejoice at seeing Hatsuharu, but the atypical rage forced Yuki to continue walking until he was out of this place.

"Yuki, what's wrong?" Haru asked worriedly, unused to Yuki ignoring him.

No answer.

"Stop this foolishness!" Hatori said, irritated. "If Akito sees you..."

"I don't give a damn if he does!" Yuki snapped back.

"You don't give a damn?" Akito's reply came as he appeared at the end of the hall. His eyes challenging, smiling at Yuki. Almost begging him to repeat himself.

Everyone turned to look in horror. Yuki began to tremble unconsciously, filled with trepidation once more.

_He's smiling at me! Like nothing happened. Like he didn't..._

The momentary fear in Yuki's eyes was quickly replaced with fury, and any further coherence was lost as he lunged at the Sohma master.

"BASTARD!" He screamed.

XXXXXX

It is official, I am more evil than Akito! But if you kill me now you won't know what happened next! But I am an evil person and evil people like evil cliffhangers! or was it evil minions like evil cliff hangers?

Stole this line from my sister! Are you happy now Vidanue?

I realized something. Have Akito and Ayame ever been in the same room at the same time in the Manga? I've seen almost all the parts but I don't know what Ayame calls Akito to his face. Does anybody know? I don't think Akito would be very tolerant of Ayame's...behavior. So maybe that's why Takaya doesn't put them in together.

Sorry about the Ayame bit. I really dig the loving older brother gag. I can't get enough of it. And we all know that Ayame's imagination gets the better of him sometimes.

How about Yuki's dream? Was that any good? I'm not much for surrealism...But it's freaky, yeah? BTW: I never said that Yuki actually 'remembered' the rape. His memory was erased of the whole thing. But sometimes, when a memory is repressed (erased?) if it's powerful enough, people remember bits and pieces or feelings in dreams or they're triggered by revisiting the scene... I think I read it somewhere or whatever.

It's so funny! I wasn't making this fic Yaoi at all! Yet all of you... LOL... I guess its because I'm such a horrible writer that everyone misunderstood. LOL. Don't worry. I'll fix it.J

I had written Ayame's little fantasy in this part before anne-nime 's request for some humorous parts. My sister and Risa thought it was funny. I do have to say though that anyone who does follow the manga will see that the hilarity that was in the manga made into anime parts doesn't NOT carry over to the later parts of the manga. The story is now very dark and confusing and there's very very little humor. I'm trying to follow the last episode of the anime, which was very dramatic and not funny at all. I tried to include some humorous parts in the story but the story is governed by dramatic angst. Anne-nime, I hope you like Ayame's humor in this chapter and thank you for your kind words. I really do believe that something like this could've happened in the series but when I try to talk to people about it they just shut me down T-T.

Reviewers; Ssjogddesschico (THANKS FOR YOU SUPPORT!), Gia (THANK YOU!), secretmirror180 (Akito must die! Grr), Polk A dot (Yeah I'd imagine it'll be expensive! ) Souma Risa (BIG FAT THANK YOU!), Kato-Chan (THANK YOU!), Tsukitani (FINALLY! I got a review! Does the moonwalk THANK YOU! BTW you have my blessings to torture Akito!), Trunks-Chan3 (Hating Akito should be a constant in everybody's life! and I'm almost done with Yummy Yuki's torture!), purrfect679 (THANK YOU! I hope I don't disappoint you), Z (THANKY YOU!), anne-nime (THANK YOU! Is it a good thing or a bad thing that my occupation is reflected in the story? Please be good!), Caula (THANK YOU! Ah are you OK now? LOL), DGFVD (I HAVE UPDATED!).

Thanks to Z's kind suggestion, I had my sister reread all the earlier chapters for me and I reformatted and reposted them because honestly, they looked disgraceful and at that note I would like to REALLY thank everybody who bothered to read this story even when it was looking so damn messed up. If it was me I wouldn't have bothered. Thanks again to Z for that suggestion and encouraging words.

Special Thanks to Souma Risa again for taking the time to proofread even when she's so busy. Thanks again and Good luck!

And to those who reviewed the CENSOR point; Kacho, Tsukitani, and Arrei. BIG THANK YOU!

Chapter 10 coming up very very soon. I won't keep you waiting long for the ensuing battle! Yuki's angry! Will he make Akito A La mode?


	10. A Livid Place

A Warm Place

Disclaimer I don't own Yummy Yuki or any Fruits Basket character. Fruits Basket belongs to Takaya Natsuki.

A continuation of the anime series laced with some obsessive hallucinations of mine.

_Italics_ thoughts

XXXXXX

Ayame and Shigure walked past the Main house entrance.

"Thos girls were so cute!" Shigure grinned at his companion, " I _so_ adore my fans!"

"How true! They seemed to really admire you, Gure San!" Ayame exclaimed, equally amused.

"Of course, Aya! Once they realized I was a world-renowned author, they couldn't keep their admiration and love hidden any longer. Too bad they were only Junior High girls." Shigure sighed, "I much prefer High school girls." He turned to his longhaired companion. "They couldn't keep their eyes off you either, Aya! I'm almost jealous!"

When Ayame opened his mouth to give his customary innuendo-filled reply, he heard what sounded like shouting coming from within the building. Even with all the visitors the clinic had, the area had always been relatively peaceful. He stopped in his tracks and listened carefully. There it was again and it sounded like…_Yuki?_

The surprised look on Shigure's face confirmed it.

"Gure San! Hurry!"

XXX

Rendered motionless by the Jyuunishi Rat's capricious behavior, Akito could only watch as Yuki neared him. In fact, he was nearly at him when Hatori and Haru desperately pulled him back.

"LET GO!" Yuki shouted, struggling to break out of their grasp.

"Calm down, Yuki!" Haru pleaded.

"I'M GOING TO KILL YOU, YOU SICK BASTARD!" Yuki screamed as he pushed them off and lunged at Akito again. This time, it was Kazuma who stood in his way, stopping Yuki's foot from making contact with Akito's face. Yuki growled and tried to pull his foot away from Kazuma's grip. It wouldn't budge.

"Stop it, Yuki." Kazuma spoke calmly.

"LET GO!" The muscles in the captured limb began to ache from being suspended in the air for so long.

"You're letting your anger control you." Kazuma said harshly.

"I think I'm entitled to some anger!" Yuki spun back, causing his Instructor to lose his grip, and freeing his foot.

"Now, move or be moved." Yuki's tone was low and threatening, his eyes piercing and his aura sizzled around him, reflecting blatant fury. It was a far cry from his usual fragile and composed princely image.

"I'm going to settle things with this... monster!" Yuki pointed at the gaping Akito with a shaking finger as he moved into a ready stance.

"He's the Sohma clan Master. Did you forget that, Yuki?" Kazuma replied calmly.

"I'd rather die than acknowledge _that_... as my Master!"

_Never again._

Yuki moved suddenly. "Never again!" Kazuma met his attacks head-on, blocking or parrying every move.

Shigure and Ayame joined the crowd forming in the hall, closely followed by Momiji.

When Shigure saw the expression on Yuki's face, he knew that the younger Sohma must have discovered what they had hidden from him. Pushing away any semblance of guilt at the moment, he wondered what the outcome of this would be. Would Yuki fight back or would he eventually succumb to his fate? _You can do it, Yuki. But most probably, you'll be sorry later._ He thought to himself. _More than your reaction, Yuki…I want to see the look on Akito's face. I need to see Akito vulnerable, even if it's for a moment… so I know its possible to defeat this, someday._

Ayame could only gape as he watched, stupefied by his brother's audacity in the face of the Sohma Clan Head. _What? What's going on!_

"What's going on, Hari?" Momiji urgently pulled on the Doctor's sleeve. "Why's Yuki so angry? What did Akito do?"

Hatori ignored the boy and turned to hurry back to the clinic, needing to get something to calm Yuki down before he did something stupid.

The Silver haired teen continued his onslaught, becoming more frustrated with every missed kick and punch. Kazuma was expressionless and silent, on the defense, waiting for his opponent to wear himself out. It was a tactic Yuki would soon see through.

And he did.

"It's not going to work." Yuki snarled as he tackled Kazuma, forcing his sensei to throw him off, strategically landing closer to Akito. Kazuma could only watch as Yuki got back on his feet and turned to Akito again, death in his eyes.

"NO YUKI!" Ayame cried as he covered his eyes, not wanting to see. The others watching was equally horrified.

Desperate, Kazuma leapt forward, tackling Yuki roughly to the ground and eliciting a cry from the teen.

Haru snarled and moved to help, but Shigure's firm hand pulled him back. "Don't interfere."

"Yuki's…"

"This is Yuki's problem. He wouldn't want anyone else involved."

Haru snarled again, this time in frustration, but relented. It was only the utter astonishment he felt that kept his Black self at bay.

Akito took a hesitant step towards Yuki, before cringing and moving back in response to the teen's redoubled efforts to get out from under his teacher.

"Yuki?" Akito started, disturbed by the hatred he saw reflected in the other's eyes. It didn't make sense to him, why would anyone look at him like that? Weren't they all supposed to love him?

"Why…why are you so angry?" He'd expected Yuki to be broken by the news, but not this. How could this be? Where was the irresolute, fragile boy he had so diligently molded over the years? As beautiful Yuki was when he was docile, with his now insurmountable will shining brightfully and admirably, Akito was once again reminded of how extraordinary Yuki was. _He must submit to me again! I will NOT lose him. It'll be a lesson to all of them!_

Yuki nearly threw Kazuma off in response. "YOU SHOULD BE LOCKED AWAY, YOU SICK BASTARD!"

"Why?" Akito asked, perplexed. "All I did was love you."

"LOVE ME! You killed me a thousand different times. I hate myself because of you!" Everyone watched uncomfortably, silently acknowledging Yuki's words and accusations; they were all Akito's victims, in one way or another. "Don't ever say that you love me, ever! Because you don't love anybody, not even yourself. You want to kill us all inside before you die. All of us." A lone tear made its way down Yuki's face despite his desperate attempts not to crack infront of so many of his family.

"No, Yuki. I…" Akito reached a trembling hand out, trying anything to pacify the situation, unused to having to explain his actions or motives.

"DON'T YOU EVER TOUCH ME!" Yuki yelled. "I WISH YOU WOULD HAVE KILLED ME BACK THEN!"

Akito pulled his hand back as if hit, the color fading further from his already pale face. The intense rage directed at him was unnerving.

_My beautiful Yuki, stop looking at me with those eyes. _

Akito took a step back and slumped against the wall. _You can't hate me Yuki. I'll be alone if you hate me._

XXX

Outside, Kyo paced impatiently. It was going to be one of those days; first he had to put up with Haru's jealous accusations, then he had to follow those two idiots around town, forced to watch them flirt with poor unsuspecting stupid girls before finally arriving at the intended destination. Now, Haru had followed the two adults in while he waited outside.

"Why the hell did I come here if I wasn't going to go in!" Kyo growled, well aware that he was an unwelcome presence inside.

But Haru had been in there a long time.

Momiji had ran in a while back, but Kyo didn't feel like exacerbating his headache by talking to the hyperactive boy.

Then suddenly, a servant came running out of the compound to speak with the gardeners outside. They were speaking in hushed tones, but Kyo could tell they were excited about something.

_I wonder what happened…_

He strained to listen, and thought he heard Yuki's name but he couldn't be sure.

They were awfully excited though, those servants.

"Damn it!" Kyo was positive that something had happened, and it probably involved that Kuso Nezumi and there was only one way to find out. He hurried over to the servants. "Hey you! What's going on?"

"Oh, Kyo San? It seems… there is a loud argument between Akito Sama and Yuki Sama." The gardener replied somewhat hesitantly, losing much of his previous exuberance upon seeing the Jyuunishi feline.

"Argument! Between Akito and Yuki?" _That's not possible, Yuki is too scared of Akito to even… unless... _

_Oh Shit!_

Kyo ran inside, paying no heed to the calls for him to stop.

XXX

A scowling Kazuma pushed Yuki down again. He wondered why the boy was putting up such resistance to calming down. Of course, he had imagined that something of this sort would eventually happen. Akito's reckless behavior was due to eventually incite Yuki into reacting violently. There was just too much bad history between the two.

Yuki struggled again, trying to push Kazuma off. "GET OFF ME!"

"Not until you calm down."

"GET OFF ME, DAMN IT!"

"You will not attack Akito San again." Kazuma instructed.

Yuki immediately opened his mouth to protest, but knowing that he would never be able to attack Akito with Kazuma around, he decided against making any futile threats. Glancing up at the trembling Sohma Master, who was looking back at him with wide eyes. Yuki felt his anger rise up again the urge to break every bone in his body growing strong, but pushed it down.

As much as he wanted to wreak havoc and violence, he could feel his fury fading and replaced with immense fear and sadness. He needed to leave while he still could, before he lost his nerves.

"Fine, now get off."

Kazuma grabbed one of Yuki's arms as he slowly moved up into a standing position, maintaining his hold on the slim limb. Yuki tried to pull his arm away, but failed.

He then turned to Akito, finding his anger rekindling slightly. "If you ever come near me again you'll be sorry!"

Akito struggled with his emotions. Yuki was walking out on him! He could never let that happen! _I won't let him. He belongs to me!_

He had to get back in control.

"You don't tell me what to do, Rat!" He hissed, taking a shaky step forward. "I own you. I OWN ALL OF YOU!"

"You don't own me now, Akito." Yuki replied as calmly as he could. "And you will never own me again!"

When Kyo finally arrived on the scene, he found a few of the Jyuunishi gathered around Akito and Yuki. What was even more surprising to him than the involvement of his Foster father was the unnatural anger Yuki was displaying.

_He knows._ Kyo thought grimly. _Shit._

Hatori came running back with a filled syringe, uncertain of how the situation had escalated in his absence, and was relieved to find that Kazuma seemed to have the situation under control.

"I'm losing my patience with you, Rat!" Akito gave Yuki a threatening look, intending to daunt his defiant cousin.

Yuki yelled in outrage and moved forward again, only to be pulled back by Kazuma.

"WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT IT, HUH?" Yuki screamed in Akito's face. "What haven't you done to me yet?"

Akito opened his mouth to speak again, only to be interrupted by the ranting Yuki. "As far as I'm concerned I paid my debt to you a million times over. And I would rather slit my own throat before I ever..."

"That's enough!" Kazuma shook the teen roughly to silence him, earning a murderous look from the boy.

"Just looking at you makes me sick to my stomach!" He said at last and turned to walk away, tearing his arm out of Kazuma's grasp, walking out of the hall, still bare foot and in his pajamas. Kyo, Haru and Momiji immediately followed him.

Akito remained motionless. Slowly, he raised his head and met the uncertain looks of the 4 adults left in the hall with venomous rage. "This is all your fault, Hatori!" He screamed. "Look at what you've done!"

Hatori returned Akito's glare, but said nothing.

"You made him hate me! You made him disrespect me! I'll show you all! I'll show that damned Rat his place! I'll…" Akito slumped to his knees.

"Akito!" Shigure yelled, rushing over along with the others.

XXX

Yuki hurried away, paying no heed to the others calling his name.

Haru and Kyo caught up to him fastest. "Are you nuts! "Kyo asked incredulously, "What's wrong with you?"

"I want to get out of here, right now." Yuki replied impatiently.

"Let us get you a jacket or something." Haru said urgently.

"Or shoes!" Momiji added.

Yuki ignored them and continued to walk, not wanting to stop for anything. He felt dizzy and drained, the adrenaline wave he was riding dissipating. His chest began to tighten and he could feel another asthma episode approaching as the full impact of what he had just done hit him. He was in shock, he was sure of it, how else could he have yelled at Akito like that? He even attacked him! Rage surged within him momentarily before confusion and hysteria took over again…He would not stop until he was back at Shigure's. Safe, at least for a little while

The three followed him closely and a few blocks away from the Sohma house, Yuki's legs gave out from underneath him and he fell sideways against Haru.

"Yuki?" Haru cried in alarm. "Are you alright?"

"I'm so tired." Yuki wheezed, fumbling for his inhaler and taking a puff, then another. "Take me home, please."

Kyo found himself moving without a thought. He crouched in front of Yuki with the order of "Get on."

Haru and Momiji shared a very surprised look as Yuki got on Kyo's back without further comment. He draped his arms loosely around the redheard's shoulders as Kyo shifted a bit to hold Yuki comfortably, then stood up and began to make his way home.

"Thanks, Kyo." Yuki mumbled as he laid his head against Kyo's shoulder and surrendered to exhaustion.

Kyo didn't answer, but his reddened face spoke volumes. He didn't know what the hell he was doing, but it didn't matter.

Yuki was coming home.

XXX

Hatori left Akito's quarters and returned to the clinic where Kazuma, Shigure and Ayame were anxiously waiting.

"I gave him something to calm him down." He replied to their unspoken question.

"Now, would someone please tell me what's going on?" Ayame addressed them all, but his eyes were on Hatori. "Tori San, you know something, don't you?"

When Yuki had finally left, Ayame had wanted to follow, but something in Yuki's eyes scared him. Yuki was far too angry to confront at the time. Maybe he was afraid that of what Yuki would say to him, of that even though he tried his best to know all there was about his brother, there was still so much more he didn't know.

Hatori sighed and settled himself in his desk chair. "Yuki found out about something Akito did to him and naturally got upset."

"Upset? I think enraged is more like it! And what thing? What happened?" Ayame demanded.

"That, I can't tell you." Hatori lighting a cigarette, then immediately putting it out on remembering where he was.

"What? Why not?" Ayame looked hurt. "This is my brother Tori San!"

"I can't." Hatori replied, meeting Ayame's hurt eyes.

"This is a very sensitive matter, Aya." Shigure added. "You'll have to ask Yuki Kun to tell you."

Ayame turned on Shigure "I bet you know then!"

Shigure nodded. "We used it to get Yuki Kun to move in with me."

"Then why can't I know?"

"Ayame, ask Yuki about it." Hatori said with finality.

Ayame looked over at Kazuma, who shrugged. "I don't know what they're talking about."

The Jyuunishi snake found all this secrecy very frustrating. He wanted to rant, demanding to know this terrible secret as Yuki's older brother. But the truth was, that he truly didn't deserve to know. He was a poor excuse for family, for an older brother. "You know, it's times like this when I feel that I let Yuki down the most. If something happened to make Yuki so angry that he would want to hurt Akito this much when he was terrified of Akito only a few days ago, then I have officially failed him as a brother." Ayame's eyes were downcast and full of self-loathing.

"I promised him I'd help him. I wanted to be the one to help him so he'd trust me again. But, I'm still as useless to him as ever."

"Aya!" Shigure called out sympathetically, but Ayame simply walked out of the clinic, head bowed low. Kazuma turned to Hatori.

"I don't think Akito should try to contact Yuki for a while. I could barely hold him back today." Hatori nodded. "Thank you."

And with that, Kazuma left the clinic.

The two remaining in the room sat in tense silence before Shigure spoke. "It's not over you know. Akito will never let Yuki Kun go."

"But, Yuki's reaction did something to him today." Hatori replied, running his hands though his long bangs.

"I never thought I'd see the day." Shigure added with a smile. "Yuki Kun going off against Akito like that."

"He's angry with us too, you know."

"Eh?"

"He didn't say anything, but you could see it in his eyes. If he wasn't so hell-bent on getting out of here, he probably would've turned on me."

"Hmm. That's not good, especially since he's staying with me." Shigure sighed, "You should know that Kyo Kun overheard me the other day."

"What do you mean? What does he know exactly?" Hatori sat up in surprise.

"What Yuki Kun knows. He was badly shaken too. I don't think he'll ever fight with Yuki Kun again."

"What is it with Kyo these days? Always where he shouldn't be." was Hatori's insipid reply. "Are you going to go talk to Ayame?"

Shigure ran his hand through his hair. "Give him some time alone. Before you know it, he'll be re-inspired to continue with his mission."

XXX

Kyo reached Shigure's house with the now sleeping Yuki still on his back, followed by Haru and Momiji.

Tohru greeted them with a squeal, half joyful half alarmed. "YUKI KUN! Is he alright?"

"He's sleeping." Kyo replied.

"How did..." Tohru started, taking in Yuki's pajama clad form and very dirty feet.

"Let me take him upstairs first." Kyo replied a little impatiently.

"Yes!" She ran to get a towel to clean Yuki's feet. Momiji following her, while Kyo and Haru headed upstairs.

Kyo sat back on Yuki's bed. "Oi, Yuki! Get up. We're here!"

Yuki mumbled something in his sleep. Haru hurried over to help lay Yuki down and was about to cover him when Tohru came in to wipe his feet off. Her eyes strayed to his face occasionally, noting how tired he looked.

She could barely believe it. Yuki was back!

"What the hell was going on?" Kyo turned to Haru and Momiji, speaking softly, but no less urgently.

"We don't know." Haru replied, shrugging. "We came in just as Yuki was about to tear Akito's head off. Then Shishan showed up. You know the rest."

"It was really scary." Momiji added. "I've never seen Yuki look so angry." His levity voice was tinted with some fear.

"And against Akito of all people." Haru added absently, "Something must have happened."

"But, what?" Momiji asked.

Kyo looked away uncomfortably and Tohru noticed this.  
"Kyo Kun?"

"I... uh overheard by accident" He mumbled.

"What?" All three demanded.

"I can't tell you. They made me promise to keep it a secret."  
He looked down at Yuki. "Besides, Yuki wouldn't want anyone to know. He'll be really angry that I know."

"Tell us!" Haru got to his feet and grabbed the older boy's shirt collar. Kyo pushed the hand away. "I told you I can't!" he replied testily.

"You'll wake Yuki!" Momiji interrupted, getting between the two.

"It must be something very serious." Tohru started, "But, if Yuki Kun doesn't want anyone to know, then we must respect his wishes." Tohru finished with Yuki's feet, and stood up slowly. "Yuki Kun is back." She smiled. Kyo noted that it was the first genuine smile he'd seen since Yuki got sick. "That's what's most important."

Haru and Kyo looked away in shame. The white haired teen's guilt didn't last long and he moved to sit in Yuki's desk chair, equally happy as Tohru to see Yuki. Kyo and Momiji sat on the floor while Tohru covered Yuki up and sat at the edge of the bed.

She nearly wept at the sight of Yuki, back home where he belonged. Seeing him made her realize how much she had missed him and she had to swallow back her sobs. He wouldn't want to see her crying.

She waited anxiously for her prince to awaken and lay his beautiful eyes upon her, once again.

_Welcome home, Yuki Kun. _

XXXXXX

Grabs pompoms GO YUKI!

Akito had it coming don't you think? I only wish Yuki physically hurt him rather than this silly emotional abuse... feh! No matter how hard I tried I couldn't have Yuki beat him up because he'll kill him and I, unfortunately, still need Akito in the story But I'm glad that I can have Yuki at least threaten him. Does anyone think Yuki's reaction is OOC? I don't, after all, the rape was basically the last straw for him. Akito didn't have time to be evil, because he never expected Yuki to go up against him like that.

It's not over yet though, cause Yuki still didn't find him Warm place! And Akito, the bastard's still alive damn it! And poor poor Ayame…

Kids, never run with a syringe in your hand. Hatori is a Professional Anime Doctor!

Reviewers. Thank you guys so much, chapter 9's reviews made me so happy I was nearly in tears then I drove home with a huge grin on my face. People probably thought I was Coco. OH well it was worth it!

Illia Sadri (I had actually reposted 8 but strangely, it didn't appear in the new format until the next day! THANK YOU!),

Backlash (THANK YOU!),

Trunks-chan3 (Am I forgiven? LOL),

Gia (THANK YOU!),

Mlaine(THANK YOU!),

Tsuikitani (That's right! We are both evil! We'll see about the pairing, after all I am evil! Shall I count on you to kill Akito?), Silverlight2 (Yeah I know it was out of place but I wanted Ayame in there! THANK YOU for your very kind words, I'm beyond flattered. Your review made my day, really !),

MoO-mOo3 (LOL!),

Polka dot (That's right!),

anne-nime (I never knew about the thesis questioning thing! THANK YOU!),

Lina (Evil is good ne?),

Inuyasha/Duo (Yeah Akito is basically a sicko whose obsessed with the beautiful and Yummy Yuki. But then again who isn't obsessed with the beautiful and Yummy Yuki? LOL), secretmirror180 (My sister thanks you! I'm really flattered!), Kacho (THANK YOU!),

Souma Risa (Ooh! Intense? I'm glas someone agrees with me. Wait till the next chapter. I actually cried a bit as I wrote it! THANK YOU! I'm glad everything went well ),

Ssjgoddesschico (Yes I am!)

some one who didn't sign in but reviewed (I love to torture Yuki too! I know its evil but soo many people are doing it so it must be a good thing! Get the girl eh? We'll see)

Purrfect679 (Yeah me too! But wait cause the sorrow aint over with yet! THANK YOU!)

Caula (I'm glad your OK, what kind of cookie? THANK YOU!)

Also thanks to Maeko and anne-nime who reviewed the CENSOR fic. Glad you liked it.


	11. A Wishful Place

A Warm Place

Disclaimer I don't own Yummy Yuki or any Fruits Basket character. Fruits Basket belongs to Takaya Natsuki.

A continuation of the anime series laced with some obsessive hallucinations of mine.

_Italics_ thoughts

XXXXXX

It was when he became aware of the whispering voices around him that Yuki stirred, blurry vision adjusting to his surroundings, which were that of his bedroom at Shigure's house.

There was none of the usual sensation of surrealism he usually felt upon waking, no confusion as to whether he was still dreaming or conscious. Maybe it was because he had slept with such a heavy heart, his emotions tumultuous, that he immediately came to.

Yuki sat up slowly, taking in those around him and the silence that suddenly swept over the room. "Yuki Kun, are you all right?" Tohru asked, soft voice quivering slightly with anxiety.

Taking a moment to savor the sweet voice he'd been denied in the last few weeks, he smiled and replied kindly. "I'm fine, Honda San. It's good to be home." She then reached for his hand and squeezed it tightly, before pulling away to wipe away her tears. "It's good to have you home, Yuki Kun."

Momiji merrily pounced on Yuki to give him a tight hug, and Yuki found himself smiling at his affectionate cousin. The sense of melancholy that was gnawing at the back of his mind from the moment he woke, demanding to be acknowledged was pushed down as Yuki turned to smile at the other two occupants of the room, finding the flustered look on Kyo's face amusing.

Haru, never one to miss an opportunity to demonstrate his love, eagerly hugged Yuki, though was pushed away when he held the hug much longer than necessary.

Even with all of the affection directed towards him, Yuki needed to reassure himself that he was at home, that this was no dream.

"Honda San." He turned to her, "Are there any strawberries left?" It was silly of him to ask, but he'd been craving them for a while. Actually he had a craving for everything he had ever grown in his base, the freedom and serenity it provided him. And of course, her.

"Yes! We couldn't have them without you!" she replied with no trace of curiosity regarding his odd question.

"Do you think we could have them now?" He moved off the bed, having been confined to one for far longer than he would've liked. If it was up to him, he would stay away from beds and clinics for the rest of his life.

"Sure! I'll go prepare them." Tohru immediately got to her feet.

"I'll help too." Yuki followed, "I'm fine, really." he answered when she opened her mouth to protest. And a few minutes later, all five were enjoying the succulent fruit. Yuki ate his slowly, savoring the sweet taste, trying to keep his smile from slipping as everyone filled him in on the happenings at school and around the house. It didn't matter how exhausted or terrified he felt, he was home and there had to be solace to be found. Looking around him, at his family's faces; Tohru and Momiji's smiling ones, Haru's kind one and Kyo's angry face, Yuki found it a little easier to keep smiling.

_Everything is back to normal. Kyo's angry as usual_.

It was when Shigure joined them later that Yuki's hand closed into a fist unconsciously. Not wanting to cause a scene, Yuki kept his temper in check. "Yuki Kun! It's soooo good to have you back!" The man exclaimed happily, leaning closer to ruffle Yuki's soft hair. Yuki pushed his hand off without making any vocal response.

"Wow, strawberries!" Shigure gushed. "Can I have some please? It's been plain torture seeing them in the fridge all this time!"

"Of course!" Tohru beamed and quickly prepared Shigure his own serving. Looking over at Yuki, she found him gazing off into the distance. _Is Yuki Kun all right?_

"Yuki Kun!" Shigure started, waking Yuki from his reverie. "Aya was really worried about you. He wanted to come see you right away, but I told him that you'd be resting, so he'll come by tomorrow morning instead." Yuki sighed helplessly. His brother would come whether he liked it or not. There was no point in wasting his breath arguing about the matter.

XXX

The group stayed up till late, talking animatedly amongst each other, happy to have Yuki back and hopeful that the ordeal was over. Initially, Yuki had conversed with them, but eventually found himself content to watch the others, especially Tohru. Naturally, his thoughts returned to the day's earlier events, which revitalized his rage towards Akito and everyone else involved. He had never felt so angry in his entire life; it was like his entire body was possessed. He couldn't help but smirk at remembering Akito's face, proud to have caused such a look of utter panic.

_I wonder what's going to happen now…I hope he gives Hatori hell. Shigure too. In fact, I hope… _At that thought, Yuki's eyes widened in alarm. _Oh God! He will give everyone hell! What if he takes his anger out on the others? Or Honda San? _Yuki's mortified eyes made their way to Tohru, who was happily talking to Kyo and Momiji.

"Yuki? What is it?" Haru shifted closer upon sensing the sudden change in his cousin's mood. Yuki didn't answer, his eyes fixated on his hands. _What have I done? How could I have been so stupid? How could I not have known the consequences?_

"Yuki?" Haru called him again, louder this time, and the others looked over to see what the commotion was.

"I'm fine, Haru." Yuki replied absently, getting to his feet and making his way upstairs, feeling the eyes of everyone in the room on him.

That incident put an end to any more merriness, and everyone decided to turn in for the night. Momiji and Haru spent the night on Yuki's bedroom floor, after Momiji had been denied access to Tohru's bedroom by a vehement Kyo.

The Silver haired Sohma lay in bed, wanting to ensure his roommates were asleep. Once Haru realized Yuki wasn't interested in a late night conversation, and Momiji had exhausted himself crying over Tohru; the two fell into a deep sleep. Yuki then tiptoed out into the hall, heading towards Shigure's room. Originally, he had planned on storming in and inflicting some much needed violence, but decided to knock instead. Just as he raised his hand to do so, the elder Jyuunishi appeared, looking serious. "I knew you'd want to talk."

Yuki gave him an irritated look.

"Let's outside where we won't disturb the others." Yuki followed his cousin down the stairs, resisting the urge to slug him from behind. When Shigure slid the Shoji shut behind him, the teen's patience had expired and he reached out to grab the front of Shigure's robes. "You bastard! How dare you?" he hissed.

"Eh? Yuki Kun, calm down!"

"How dare you lie to me? Who gave you the right to play around with me like that?"

"You've got it all wrong, Yuki Kun! No one played with you!" Shigure raised his hands to ward off the aggression he knew was coming.

"Then what do you call all these years of lies?" Yuki shook him. "You made a fool of me! Made me think that I beat him when he…" He then pushed Shigure away. "If I wanted to die it was my choice. You even took that away from me." He clenched his fists. _You let me live with this filth; you can't ever claim to know how much damage you've done. _

The elder Sohma reached over to take one of Yuki's shaking fists into his hands. "Since when were you so selfish, Yuki Kun?"

"Selfish? What are you talking about?" Yuki snapped as he tore his hand out of Shigure's.

"And we're not important? If you died you would've been taken away from us and we couldn't bear that."

"So, you let me live a lie because you couldn't part with me? Is that it!"

"You're like a brother to me, Yuki Kun. You know that. Ha San too, even if he doesn't show it." He paused to look Yuki in the eye. "And then Akito would have beat you. He would have broken the Rat."

"You mean he hadn't already?" Yuki asked sarcastically.

"No, you were always stronger. Through all the abuse and pain, your eyes never lost that glimmer of hope. You never completely succumbed to his will. Even when you stopped talking, it was in defiance. You kept trying to move forward, to get away from Akito's madness. That's what made Ha San decide to erase your memory. He knew you best. You were so overcome with grief that you weren't thinking straight, he said. You wouldn't have wanted to die. Even today, you could've given in to what Akito wanted, but you chose to fight back."

Yuki took all that in. True, Akito controlled every small detail of his life. But nevertheless, he always strove to live a normal life, surrounded by normal people, the abuse always motivating him further. The desire to have a taste of the life he'd been denied by Akito and his mother was always in the back of his mind.

Yuki sighed, "Maybe he does. I spent more time in the clinic with him than in my room while I was living there."

"I'm sorry if you think we betrayed you, Yuki Kun. But we didn't. To let you die was to fail you, to betray you as you said. We wanted to do something for you, for once. We've always been so helpless when it came to Akito. And…" Shigure chocked on his words as he talked, "And seeing you in that hospital bed, in that state, with no desire to live, seeing nothing in your eyes… That's truly the hardest thing I ever had to witness."

"Shigure…?" Yuki was rendered speechless by the sorrowful expression on Shigure's face, shattering many of the suspicions he had knowing his cousin's surreptitious nature.

The elder man rubbed at his eyes. "Today you broke Akito. You won this round."

"You truly believe that? Do you actually think he'll let me go so easily? You know what? I'm actually sorry I did anything now because he's probably going to take it out on somebody else until he can get me to go back there! As much as he had it coming, it was a really stupid thing to do… going off against him like that." _I'm such an idiot_.

"That wasn't stupid at all! You're braver than the Jyuunishi combined. No one has ever stood up to Akito like that."

"There's a reason no one goes against him and that's because we all know what a bastard he is! You're missing the point!" Yuki hissed angrily, trying to keep his voice down. "He's not going to let me go. Now, he might even go after Honda San!"

"We won't let him. Just like before. Ha San won't erase her memory." Shigure argued firmly.

"You sure have a lot of faith in him." Yuki snapped, "But I don't! After all he didn't need any convincing to erase mine!"

"Yuki!" Shigure retaliated, visibly angry now. "What's wrong with you? Would you really rather be dead now? When he erased your memory it was for your own best interest and not his or mine or Akito's! Akito was furious when Ha San suggested it!"

The silver haired teen found glaring to be the best reply at the moment.

"Are you really so cynical that you'd think that we'd do it for its entertainment value? Ha San saved your life whether you like it or not. So do your self a favor and thank him the next time you see him."

"Thank him!" Yuki cried, "Thank him for letting Akito do this to me? I might as well thank my parents and Niisan for leaving me to Akito's mercies! Better yet, I can always go and thank Akito himself! Since he's always been so generous to share his miserable filth with me!"

Shigure lost his irritation as he watched Yuki rant. _Yuki Kun, Why don't you stop just being bitter and move on with your life? You're falling back into Akito's trap and you don't even know it. _

"You are all responsible for this, never forget that! And it's me paying the price as usual!" Feeling his eyes begin to burn with hot tears, Yuki hurried away into the outside, aching for release. _That…jerk! Why? Why won't he take responsibility?_ He hurried towards the woods, the trees beginning to blur around him through his watering eyes. Stopping to lean against a tree, he found the tears escaping despite his attempts to hold back. Frustrated and with no outlet for his rage, he punched the tree bark repeatedly until his hands were numb. Eventually, he slid down to the ground, his body shaking with quiet sobs.

_It hurts so much. Why doesn't the pain ever stop? When will it ever stop?_

It could've been minutes that he stayed there, or hours. He wasn't aware of how long he stayed there, bawling in the cold night. Eventually, his sobs subsided to the occasional sniffle. _I just want it to stop. Please just make it stop._

"Yuki Kun?"

He froze. _No! Anyone but her!_

"I…uh… was thirsty and heard the door open, and saw you here all by yourself!" He leaned back against the bark, a futile attempt to hide himself.

"Yuki Kun, what's wrong?" She approached him slowly, kneeling beside him. She gasped on seeing his wet cheeks and his bruised knuckles.

"No…" Yuki shook his head, trying to control his now erratic breathing, turning his face away from her. "I don't want you to see me like this."

"It's alright, Yuki Kun." Tohru soothed, laying a comforting hand on his arm, "You've been through so much." She spoke softly trying to hide her trembling. _Why? Why is Yuki Kun crying like that? Oh please, let him be all right!_

"Honda San. I'm sorry, but please…I want to be alone." Yuki said trying to keep his voice steady, still facing away from her.

"But…" _He's hurting so much!_

"Please, Honda San."

"A-all right... I'm sorry for disturbing you, Yuki Kun." She answered meekly, standing up and taking a few steps back from Yuki, head bowed low, she turned to leave. _Why won't you let me help you?_

Yuki watched her out of the corner of his eye until she was out of sight. He then stood up slowly and stumbled deeper into the woods._ She saw me, I can't be like this. I have to get out of here._

Tohru took a few more hesitant steps away, before coming to a stop. She raised her burning eyes to the sky. _Okaasan…Yuki Kun is hurting so much. I can't leave him like this even if he wants to be alone._ Looking back, she tried to spot him in the moonlight. _What did they do to you, Yuki Kun? _

She didn't want to be useless to him. Not when he was like this. He was always the one helping her, and she's never been able to return the favor. Yuki's painful history was shrouded in mystery and, when she saw him like this, it painfully reminded her that she would always be an outsider. That she was helpless and useless to help.But Kyo had a secret, and then…

_That time, Kyo Kun didn't want to be alone either. _

Coming to a decision, she wiped at her eyes and hurried back into the woods._ Please forgive me, Yuki Kun._ After a few moments of stumbling in the moon's blue glow, she found him much in the same position he was in earlier, but no longer crying. Instead, he simply stared up at the sky, his eyes glassy with unshed tears, speaking of infinite misery. What she found most disturbing about that picture was the look on his face.

There was nothing there.

Slowly, she reached out to him. Strangely, he didn't resist nor pull away as she pulled him to lean against her; hesitant fingers brushed his face tenderly. He lay with his head at the crook of her neck as she wrapped her hand around his shaking one. He was so cold, and unresponsive.

He wouldn't look at her.

"Yuki Kun…I'm sorry, but I can't just leave you alone." She whispered.

There was a sniffle, but no response.

"Please, don't be sad." she begged him, her voice cracking with sobs of helplessness.

"I-I can't…" Yuki whispered brokenly.

"Please…" She opened her mouth to speak. She wanted to say something to put his mind at ease, instead found herself crying with him as she tightened her hold on his hand.

Eventually, he pulled away from her after, and rubbed his aching eyes. "I'm sorry, Honda San."

"Eh? Why?" she asked as she sniffled.

"I'm sorry I worried you. It's nothing. Please go back inside."

"How?" she started, "How can you ask me to leave you alone when you're hurting like this?"

"Because!" His voice sounded strangely distant, like he wasn't even addressing her "I'm truly unworthy of your worry."

"Yuki Kun? What do you mean?"

No answer.

"Yuki Kun! Please answer me." She moved closer to him.

"You're so beautiful." he continued, in the same tone as earlier "I won't taint you. I won't be selfish like that again."

"Y-you're scaring me, Yuki Kun!" her heart was hammering in her chest. She felt so confused that she didn't even register him calling her beautiful. _I don't understand. Why are you talking like this?_

"I'm sorry." He repeated softly. He stood up and began to walk away from her. She scrambled to her feet.

"Yuki Kun! Please wait!" Tohru hurried after him.

To her, his gait was that of a man walking to his own doom, his body trembling more with each and ever step he took away from her. In her heart, Tohru knew that she would never forgive herself if he walked away from her then.

_I'm losing him! I won't lose you Yuki Kun!_

"Please!" He came to stop when she grabbed his arm with both hands. "Yuki Kun!" she cried "Please!" She leaned her head against his shoulder, struggling to contain her tears.

The feel of her so close to him, her soft cries, her tears against his shoulder soaking into his sleeve, her hand trailed down his arm to seek his own…

_I just want to keep you from getting hurt…please understand!_ Yet, here she was, weeping against him as she brought her other hand up to grip his arm gently. He struggled against himself, and found it enough to pull him out of his selfish gloom.

_Honda San, I'm sorry. _

"Honda San." He started softly, squeezing her hand and voicing his thoughts. "I'm sorry."

She looked up at him, eyes large and wet. He had to say something to put her mind at ease.

_I'm such a bastard for doing this to you._

"I want to tell you, but…" He sighed, full of resignation, "It doesn't matter. It's over. No one can do anything about it." He turned back to her again. "I don't want you to worry about it."

"But why?" She sobbed, "Why should Yuki Kun carry this burden all by himself?"

There was no truthful answer that wouldn't further hurt or confuse her. _Because Honda San, I myself am a burden. I've never been anything but one._

Tohru gazed at him desolately. _What can I say to make you understand? Akito San…What did you do?_ The look in Yuki's eyes, gone from wounded to bitter, spoke volumes. "I missed you so much, Yuki Kun." She finally said. _I miss you._

He smiled sorrowfully. "Me too." _I'll miss you._

Something in her chest wrenched at his despondent tone, and she knew that he had simply given up.

She would not let that happen.

"Why is Yuki Kun being so selfish with his feelings?" She cried, "I thought Yuki Kun and I were friends! I thought Yuki Kun trusted me with his feelings and thoughts!" Tears of frustration swallowed up her words. "I want to earn your trust again!"

"Honda San!" Yuki was startled at how she turned his shortcomings into something she felt responsible for. "I trust you! Of course I do."

"Then please let me." She clenched her eyes shut, and tightened her hold on his hand. "Let me help you."

_You don't want to know. It'll only make you sad. I'll only make you miserable and I don't want your pity. Please don't make me tell you. _

"All this time." She continued, "You were far away from us and we worried about you. Now you're back, but you're still far away. Come back to us, Yuki Kun" She begged of him. "Please come back."

_Don't leave me._

Her final plea was his undoing. He found himself near tears again and desperately wanting to tell her everything; he wanted to pour out his heart and soul to her and confess his undying love. She was more magnificent than he had ever seen her, and she wanted to share his pain…his ugliness.

He couldn't deny her anything.

"Something was… taken away from me. Something important." He started, eyes on their joined hand. "I can't get it back, ever." He shuddered.

"I always wanted to stand up to Akito. And now, I'm wondering if the price I paid for this courage is too steep."

"But, you've always been brave, Yuki Kun." Tohru replied, tugging on his hand. "Everything you've done to live life the way you wanted it. You broke away when the easiest thing would've been to stay. You followed your dreams and that takes courage."

"I know, but this... this thing, it directly influenced a lot of what happened later, and I wasn't aware of this. So now, I feel as if I have to start all over. Like I've been cheated out of my achievements. Like I lost before I even started."

_I'm such a loser._

"It's funny actually, that I've lived this lie for so long. Why should I let this hurt me when my whole life is nothing but a series of lies and betrayals?"

_I can't trust anyone anymore._

"No, Yuki Kun." She argued, "Everything you did is yours. No one can take that away from you." She raised her eyes to the starlit sky as she composed her self and thoughts, "My mother used to say that what we do in life is influenced by a lot of things such as money, family and so on. Sometimes, decisions seem like they are made for us or we are forced to abide by them. But, we are the ones with the power to move in any direction. No matter how much influence others may have, the decision is ultimately yours and it is you who does the walking.

"Life is a thousand crossroads and we all chose our own path. That path is paved with your memories, your sweat and tears. It's yours, Yuki Kun. Never doubt that."

Yuki didn't answer; instead he bowed at his head as he wiped his eyes. His words were so wonderful and if only he could believe them, if only they could apply to him, if only…

"I wish it were that easy." He whispered brokenly.

"Yuki Kun…" Tohru was very tempted to start crying again. "Please don't think like that."

"I can't help it. I lost something important." _Myself. You._

"Yuki Kun, everyday we lose important things to us. But, I think that while we may mourn what we lost, we must cherish what we still have left in order to find the strength to move forward." She gave his hand another squeeze. "Yuki kun, Kyo Kun and Shigure San, Hana Chan and Uo Chan; everyone who cared about me, everyone who said a kind word to me or helped me. I cherish them all and it's through them that I can continue to try living my life to the fullest, to try to find happiness and hold it close.

"I am not belittling your loss, Yuki Kun, but I know that you have the strength and will to move forward and not let this make you unhappy forever. Don't give up, Yuki Kun. I believe in you...

"We are all here for you. While you were ill everyone worried and missed you so much." A few rebellious tears streamed down her cheek, unheeding her attempts to hold them in.

"You have people who care and worry about you no matter what, and I hope that you can draw your strength from us." Tohru smiled tenderly at him, holding his wide eyes with her tear-filled ones.

"Honda San?" Yuki whispered, in awe at her words. Her magnanimous words melting away the grief he felt with unequivocal gentleness. For a moment, he actually forgot why he was miserable. _What did I do to deserve you?_

"I hope that you can always count on me, Yuki Kun," She added timidly.

Yuki felt his eyes burning again at the implication.

He gave her a warm smile in return. "Thank you, Honda San."

"Thank you for coming back to us, Yuki Kun." She replied, blushing prettily, smiling through her tears, grateful, this time. "Thank you for waiting for me." His blush was just as beautiful, and she had to look away, full of embarrassment, unable to see his beautiful face so warm and close. Out of the corner of her eyes, she saw a shooting star in the sky.

"Look, Yuki Kun! A shooting star!" She exclaimed.

"Yes!" Yuki smiled back, finding her excitement addictive. "Make a wish, Honda San!" _As for me_, _I wish I could stop feeling anything except for this moment. I want to stay like this forever._

"I have and…it already came true." She replied shyly and the two leaned back against the tree as they sat on the cool ground, fingers intertwined. They looked up at the star filled sky, waiting for another shooting star to pass. Content with each other's proximity, no words were exchanged.

Despite that the previous tension in Yuki's body seemed to have vanished, Tohru knew better than to expect that all would be magically well.

The two continued to sit together in relative peace, and eventually Yuki began to nod off to sleep and his head lolled on her shoulder. When she jumped in surprise, his head and upper body drifted further down to land on her lap. "Yuki kun! Are you alright?"

She found him sleeping peacefully with a soft smile on his face. Tohru smiled lovingly and pulled her hand out from under him, to stroke his soft hair. "You must be so tired." She whispered tenderly.

Having him so close was nearly too much. _It hurts to see you like this. _She thought, blinking back tears.

She looked up at the sound of crunching dry leaves and twigs.

"Oi! What the hell are you doing out here? Do you know what time it is?" Kyo called out as he hurried towards, feet stomping with anxiety as he approached. "It's almost—!" He stopped in mid sentence and gaped at seeing Yuki slumbering in her lap.

"Oh, Kyo Kun! Yuki Kun and I were talking and he was tired and fell asleep and I didn't want to wake him and..." Tohru rambled, embarrassed at being found in such a position, especially when feeling a guilty pleasure at being able to touch Yuki so.

Kyo continued to gape at her for a few moments, rage rendering incapable of finding his voice and all he wanted to do was drag Yuki out of her lap by the hair but she kept looking at him as if there was nothing wrong and the way her hands stroked his nemesis' brow…

"Kyo Kun? Are you alright?"

He swallowed it all, and simply rolled his eyes before plopped down next to her. There was no point in starting a shouting match with a sleeping Yuki. "So." He glanced at her hand, brushing the hair out of Yuki's brow affectionately.

He had to look away. "So, how is the Kuso Nezumi?" He asked nonchalantly.

"He was uh…upset. But, I hope that he's feeling a little better now." She smiled sadly at the sleeping boy, then back at Kyo "Yuki Kun'll be happy to know that you're worried about him, Kyo Kun!"

"What? I never said…!" Kyo started turning away indignantly.

Tohru giggled, "You don't need to say it, Kyo Kun."

He stammered in outrage again, and just as he decided that Yuki would pay this very second, he noticed her reddened eyes. "Oi! were you crying?" he asked accusingly.

"Oh no! No! I uh… I-I'm just so happy that Yuki Kun is back." Kyo looked unconvinced. _You made her cry you bastard! Did you tell her?_

She returned to her sky gazing and her smile slowly faded. "Kyo Kun?"

"What?"

To him, she seemed lost. Like someone torn between running and staying. He remembered that expression. It was the same one she wore that night so many weeks ago.

"What happened to Yuki Kun... was very serious, right?"

What could he say? "Un." His implicit reply, clearly portraying the gravity of the incident.

She looked down at Yuki's sleeping form while tracing the lines of his face. "Then we must help him overcome it!"

Kyo opened his mouth to protest, to tell her to stay the hell away from Yuki and anything related to him, but upon seeing her unusually determined expression, he decided against it.

He remembered that night he saw Yuki at the clinic, scared and hurt. Even after years of hating his cousin, he had seen something in Yuki's eyes that made him feel a real need to help him. Now that Yuki was physically free from Akito's nightmare, the knowledge of the rape was another kind of prison, an emotional one. Yuki still needed help. In a way, Yuki had always needed help.

_Why should I help him? He got away from Akito! Besides, he has Tohru._ He glanced at her, his eyes narrowing at her affectionate hands in Yuki's hair, and pushed down the urge to scream out his jealousy. _Why would he need my help? _

_I need help; please…I'm so tired._

Kyo sighed unhappily He hated reflecting over his own state of mind, and to do so for Yuki was even more unwelcome.All he wanted was for this dark cloud to Passover and everything to go back to the way it was before, when everything was so much simpler; when all he had to do was hate Yuki, when he never had to worry about anyone other than himself, when it was perfectly fine to remain ignorant and selfish…

_I'm tired too, Yuki. I'm really tired of this. _

XXXXXX

Wooooooooooooo………………………

A little too angsty there. Like I told Risa, I actually cried a little when I wrote this parts, and next, and the one after that… I think you get my drift. Very draining to write and I was very surprised to see that Takaya used a shooting star for Yuki and Tohru in the Manga, but I swear guys, I had most of the story written by February/March, and I didn't know that that scene existed till like 2 months ago! Woho great minds think alike! …I wish. Comparing me to Takaya is like comparing a rock to Albert Einstein. L

So, The sadness has finally caught up to Yuki. What's going to happen now? What will Tohru do now that she has seen a very vulnerable side of Yuki? Be prepared for some sappy bonding guys, especially with all Yuki's 'love interests' _conveniently _around him, as Tsukitani puts it.

Many Thanks to everyone who reviewed. You guys are Marvelous! Absolutely Marvelous! Thank you so much for your compliments!

backlash (THANK YOU!)

Ssjgoddesschico (You're too kind. Stop it! XEGO INFLATINGX Now look what you did! The world shall never be the same again! Yeah, Akito is such an essential part of this fic, unfortunately for Yuki, he's not out of here yet. I was counting on Tsukitani, but Alas, I shall have to do it myself! LOL! THANK YOU! I'll try to update sooner, just don't be sad.)

Alexandra-Kyoko (I'm still lost over the Shounen ai bit, but anyways, I'm glad you enjoyed the fic, And yes I do think you're more evil than me, because I got some one evil to hurt Yuki, but in your fic, you had some one Yuki loves do something incredibly despicable with his most hated person all while he watched. Now if that isn't evil, I don't know what is? Keep it Up! THANK YOU!)

Blue Anime Kitty (Ok, I'll try! THANK YOU!)

Trunks-chan3 (You're too kind! THANK YOU!)

Link (THANK YOU!)

Tsukitani (I laughed for hours over your review! You should try writing a humor story, you'd be great! Though I have to disagree, Akito is icky! Kazuma's take on the happenings will be coming up. Hmm. Intriguing, A battle for who is most evil! You're on! I'm impatiently waiting for you to update! If it wasn't for the blackout…LOL! THANKS!)

Missy (THANK YOU!)

Sohma Risa ( THANK YOU! I was looking over your corrections and I nearly died laughing over my mistakes, you are truly the most patient/kind person I know, I am really really grateful!)

Gia (You're right. Akito just isn't worth it! THANK YOU!)

anne-nime (I hope you did well on your test! I did well on mine and I've been studying for 1 year! Its that CENSOR hard! Yeah, Ayame is in a bit of a bind now, but hopefully, he'll realize exactly what he'll need to do to get Yuki to forgive him. Good luck with your writing; I'm beyond flatered, really! It's hard to find time to write, but I was writing while studying for my board exam and working 8 hours 5 and ½ days a week. I don't know if that shows how dedicated or stupid I am but hey, it can be done! Yuki is my inspiration! XInsert Takahashi style cupids and winged monkeys blowing horns and throwing confettiX You're not cheesy at all, I'm all cheese, sappy too, crying over something I wrote, now that sets a new record I think! THANK YOU!)

Polka Dot (Me too actually, are you OK? THANK- YOU!)

purrfect679 (Hmm Yuki is sexy…period! LOL! See Alexandra-Kyoko's review! THANK YOU!)

Caula (Quick enough for you? Me want cookie! THANK YOU!)

Usakura (You really think so? THANK YOU! But what's FF?)

ceci (Yup soo many questions…so many ways to torture Yuki left! THANK YOU!)

Chibi Nightmare-Chan (You're too kind! THANK YOU!)

Super thanks again to Sohma Risa for proof reading. She's just so nice…and patient! And also to Ssjgoddesschico and anne-nime for their awesome reviews.

Also, thanks to those who reviewed my Halloween Story; Runic Knight, Blue Anime Kitty, Ssjgoddesschico, Tsukitani, Meritite, anne-nime, Kimna, Capheine, Sohma Risa, jadesunrise, and Maeven (are you alright? I'm worried!).

And last but not least, Runic Knight who reviewed the CENSOR point.

Chapter 12 coming up very soon! I promise! Now, review Away!


	12. A Weary Place

A Warm Place

Disclaimer I don't own Yummy Yuki or any Fruits Basket character. Fruits Basket belongs to Takaya Natsuki.

A continuation of the anime series laced with some obsessive hallucinations of mine.

_Italics_ thoughts

XXXXXX

Early that morning, Shigure walked through the woods looking for the three missing teenagers. When Yuki had left the house, he knew that the teen needed time to cool off. It was interesting though, that Tohru and Kyo were both to follow him. Shigure wondered what had occurred between the three of them, if the two had managed to talk some sense into Yuki.

_Yuki Kun,_ _if only you knew how bad it was, how terrified you were, you would have never questioned what we had to do._

_Yuki's frail from lay still under the white sheets of the hospital bed, bordered by beeping machines. Even though his eyes were open, he was not aware of his surroundings; Shigure and Hatori, for three days now, had been trying to get a reaction out of the catatonic boy, but to no avail. _

_"What now, Ha San?" Shigure ran his hands through his mussed hair, before burying his face in them. "Its been three days!"_

_"I know." Hatori replied absently as he checked Yuki's chart. No improvement as usual._

_"He's killing himself, Ha San!" Shigure argued._

_"Don't you think I know that?" Hatori snapped. "If it weren't for the family connections, someone in his condition would be instituted in a psychiatric hospital!"_

_"You mean…Yuki Kun's not going to get better?" Shigure gasped._

_"Only he can help himself." Hatori sat at the foot of the bed. "He's locked away his mind, like he did with his voice before…it was just too traumatic." _

_"But, we can't just sit here and do nothing!"_

_Hatori's reply was cut off as Akito entered the room. The clan head smiled maliciously at the two older men, then turned his eyes to the motionless figure in bed. Hatori and Shigure immediatetly got to their feet, "Akito! You shouldn't be here while Yuki is still unwell." Hatori started urgently, glancing over at the teen as the machines' beeping began to grow louder in sync with the focusing of the younger Sohma's eyes. As Yuki took note of the person in front of him, his eyes grew large with terrified panic and he let out a blood-curdling scream._

Shigure shook his head unhappily at the unpleasant memory. Yuki had come so far; it would be a real tragedy if he gave up in the end. He then spied the missing three sleeping against each other.

"How cute!" He gushed, his melancholy quickly forgotten, and ran to get his camera.

When Kyo opened his eyes to the world, his back was sore and tender, as if he'd been sleeping on the ground all night. He looked around in disorientation. "Why am I out here?" He mumbled, stretching.

A soft mumble in his ear froze him, and he slowly turned to find a dark head on his shoulder, Tohru's head.

"Jeez! Oi! Wake up!" Kyo shook Tohru a little, blushing at the close contact, "Come on!"

Tohru woke slowly. "Kyo Kun…?" Confused at having Kyo in her bedroom, then she remembered last night.

"Oh!" She pulled away from him abruptly. "Sorry! Sorry, Kyo Kun! I didn't mean to sleep! You must've been so uncomfortable! Sorry! Sor—"

Kyo cut her off, "Stop apologizing! I fell asleep too!" He stood up to brush his clothes off and saw Yuki still curled in her lap, hands fisted in her skirt as if afraid she'd leave him while he slept, completely oblivious to what just transpired.

"Oi! Nezumi!" He prodded the other lightly with his foot. "Wake up!"

Yuki slumbered on, giving a small snore.

"Its alright, Kyo Kun. He must be really tired!"

"So you're going to let him sleep all day?"

Tohru reddened. "We don't have school today, so it's alright for Yuki Kun to sleep in."

"In your lap?" Kyo screeched.

"Eh? It's uh… I… I don't mind… really." Her blush deepened. Kyo paused to take that in for a second before he exploded. "Fine then!" and with that, he stomped off towards the house.

"Kyo Kun?" Tohru called out after him, but she knew that he was upset and wouldn't respond, not to mention that Yuki was holding her down. She looked down at Yuki's sleeping face and smiled gently, brushing his hair out of his face. "I really don't mind." She whispered.

The quiet moment was shattered when Momiji's voice resonated through the woods. "TOOOOHRUUU? Where are you?"

"Here, Momiji Kun!" She replied not too loudly, waving as she spotted him from a distance.

"Tohru! Why was Kyo so angry? Where you here with him and Yuki all night?" Momiji's eyes widened, not waiting for her response. "EHHH! Yuki is so lucky! Sleeping in Tohru's lap all night!"

"Momiji Kun!" Tohru looked scandalized. "You'll wake Yuki Kun!"

"Sorry!" Momiji plopped down next to her, peeking down at Yuki then back at her. He then sighed, losing much of his liveliness. "I wonder why Yuki was so mad."

"Eh?"

"Akito must've done something really bad for Yuki to react like that."

"It was something very serious. That's what Kyo Kun said." She girl replied, shuddering. _I can't bear to think what it could be. _

"Poor Yuki." Momiji sighed dejectedly.

Tohru's visage reflected sadness as well. It was true, she really couldn't bear to think of what could have caused Yuki to be in that state last night; dejected and defeated. _I'll help you any way I can, if only you'd tell me._

"Don't look so sad, Tohru." Momiji quickly regained his cheer, "Yuki is back now!"

"I know, Momiji Kun." She smiled, trying to reassure him. _But, for how long?_

"Oh Yuki! Where are you my brave little brother? Your loving older brother is here to support you in your time of need!"

"Oh! Aya is here!" Momiji smiled in the direction Ayame's voice came from, and then looked serious as he jumped to his feet. "But, Yuki is still sleeping! I'll go tell Ayame to wait till Yuki wakes up!"

"Thank you, Momiji Kun!" Tohru smiled gratefully.

"Don't take too long, Tohru!" As soon as the blonde Sohma ran off, Tohru's smile faltered. She returned to watching Yuki sleep. _Yuki Kun, what can I do to help?_ She sniffled and rubbed at her burning eyes. _I want to help you so much, please don't shut me out. _

A few moments later, Yuki stirred slightly.

"Yuki Kun?"

He opened his eyes fully to see Tohru's gently smiling face peering down on him.

"Honda San?" _Did she watch over me all night?_ Noting her red- rimmed eyes.

"Good morning, Yuki Kun!" She chirped, putting on a cheerful face.

"Good morning." He looked up and found his bedroom roof… gone!

_What?_

He then remembered last night. "Oh! I'm so sorry, Honda San!" He hurriedly lifted himself from her lap. "I must've fallen asleep!"

"It's alright, Yuki Kun! You were exhausted!" she replied bashfully.

"But, you must've been so uncomfortable! I'm sorry to have inconvenienced you so much!"

"It's alright, Yuki Kun! Really!" She began to stand up, but her legs refused to obey her. _My legs are asleep!_

Yuki noticed her distress. "Let me help you up." As he pulled her up, her unresponsive legs buckled from under her and she fell against him. The two fell to the ground, with a large magical XPOOFX as Yuki transformed. Luckily for him, Tohru had fallen with her arms stretched out so her body wouldn't crush him.

"Yuki Kun! Are you alright?" Tohru panicked. "I'm so sorry!"

"I'm fine, Honda San. I'm sorry for all the trouble I put you through." The mouse scurried out from under her.

Tohru tried to get to her feet again, but to no avail. "I'm such a Klutz." She punched at her head lightly, trying to make light of the situation.

"No, Honda San! I'm sorry. Your legs must've fallen asleep."

"Just give them a few minutes and I'm sure I'll be fine!" she smiled again for his benefit.

Yuki turned his head away; looking unconvinced even in his mouse form, it was clear how guilty he felt. She had to distract him. "Ano, Yuki Kun? How are you feeling today?"

"Un…I'm fine, thanks to you." He laughed a little, "I'm…a little embarrassed though, crying like that."

"There's no need to be embarrassed, Yuki Kun!" Tohru reached down to pick him up in her palm "I for one have cried enough in front of you!

"Yuki Kun is always so composed and serious!" she stroked his fur "I'm glad that Yuki Kun trusts me enough to show me that he was upset. It shows that we've become good friends!"

A slight blush covered the mouse's face. "Of course I trust you, Honda San! I'm honored to call you my friend, in fact I..." **POOF** Here Yuki transformed back, and Tohru squealed in mortification as usual.

"Sorry." Yuki put his pajamas on quickly. He then crouched down next to her. "How are your legs now?"

"Eh? I think I should give them a few more minutes." The feeling was slowly coming back to her legs in the form of a growing prickling sensation and Tohru struggled to keep the grin on her face. But, Yuki noticed the quiver in her smile, "If I may, I think I can help you."

"Yes?" Tohru wanted to scream at the excruciating sensation in her limbs.

Yuki lowered his hands to her pajama-clad legs and started to massage them. "This should help the feeling return faster so the prickles are less painful." His soft hands were gentle as they worked, both hands on one leg, then the other. True to his words, the prickles soon receded, or maybe they were just overwhelmed by the heat spreading across her legs from Yuki's hands. Her face quickly reddened in response.

"Are your legs better?" Yuki looked up to meet her eyes. "I'm really sorry, Honda San."

"No no! I-I'm all right really! Thank you, Yuki Kun!"

Yuki smiled at her as he continued to rub her legs. The two sat in companionable silence until Tohru was finally able to stand. Yuki held her hands as she wobbled slightly then took a few steps. "I can walk again!" She smiled sunnily. "Thank you, Yuki Kun!"

She kept his hand in hers as they walked back to the house.

"Good morning!" She called as she slid the front door open. "I'm sorry breakfast is a little late!"

"Don't worry, Tohru! We all had cereal!" Momiji waved at her from his place at the table. Kyo, Haru, Shigure and Ayame were all seated with bowls of cereal in front of them.

"After all, we didn't want to interrupt your quality time with Yuki Kun!" Shigure winked. Tohru immediately reddened and Yuki gave him an incensed look. "Shut up!" He snapped then headed upstairs.

"I'm going to take a bath." He called over his shoulder.

Of all the eyes that followed Yuki's movements, Haru's cool gaze was the most noticeable.

XXX

Yuki sighed as he settled in the furo. The water was supposed to be pleasantly warm but the warmth failed to reach him. Pushing his wet hair out of his face, Yuki examined his wounded wrist, tracing the narrow scar.

_A body of evidence_. He thought grimly.

The bathroom door opened suddenly, interrupting Yuki's train of though as Hatsuharu made his way inside.

"I'm in here, Haru." Yuki called out, unsure if Haru had lost his way or come in purposely. He glared at his cousin either way.

Haru's lazy eyes slowly focused on the figure in the furo, and in response, Yuki hugged his knees to his chest, uncomfortable with Haru's straying eyes. "Haru, I'm, not in the mood for this."

"We need to talk." The younger teen said, reaching for the wash stool. He promptly pulled it close to the furo and plopped himself on it.

Yuki sighed in frustration. "Get out."

Haru didn't say anything but continued to look him in the eye. The mouse had just about enough "Haru...!" He began in a threatening tone.

"Hmm. I see." Haru said, ignoring the warning. "Yuki has that look on his face again."

Yuki frowned, confused. "What look?"

"The same look you used to have at the main house. The look that says 'put me out of my misery'." Haru replied, though his tone was no longer bland, Yuki could detect a trace of accusation with it.

He had no reply to his cousin's accurate assessment.

"You just told Akito to shove off, so why isn't Yuki happy?"

Yuki really didn't feel like an interrogation, but felt he owed Haru an answer.

"Because that's all it was, a confrontation. Just because Akito knows I'm angry doesn't mean that he'll leave me alone. It doesn't really change anything." _Its already too late, I can't get anything back. _"In fact...I'm an idiot for even doing it. Now, he'll be angry and will probably take his anger out on somebody else." Yuki clenched his fists in anger. "Someone else is going to take the punishment for me."

"I won't let you do it." Haru finally replied, sounding angry. "I won't let you go back there. Stop worrying about other people and worry about yourself for once! Everybody wants to help you, even Kyo, but you just push us all away!"

Yuki looked back at Haru's irate face in surprise. _I don't want to burden anyone, Haru. Sharing my feelings isn't something I'm used to and I could never, ever tell anyone about this. Please understand that I just can't. _

Haru reached out to cup Yuki's face. "Why won't you burden us with your problems for once? I think we've earned it." Yuki smiled slightly, always amazed at how closely Haru's words reflected his inner thoughts, and moved away from Haru's touch. "You don't want to know, believe me, nor do I feel like sharing." There was finality in his tone, and Haru knew better than to push the matter.

"Now, if you don't mind I was taking a bath."

"Want some help?" Hatsuharu asked as he eyed the furo suggestively.

Yuki chuckled. "Get out, Haru!"

Haru looked unconvinced, but nonetheless left.

The silver haired boy then lost his smile and buried his face in his arms. _Why do you bother with a loser like me, Haru?_

_Keeping everything inside is the least I deserve for being such a pathetic weakling. I'm not worthy of any one's worry. When will everyone realize that I'm just a lost cause? Before, I had hope, but now…it's too late. There's nothing clean left. _

_I have nothing left. _

XXX

Sometime later, Ayame had managed to corner Yuki in his room to talk. He found himself a little nervous, an emotion he was not used to. But, after seeing Yuki's behavior the previous day, he desperately wanted to keep his younger brother from getting upset long enough to get some answers.

"So, Yuki. How are you feeling now?" Ayame began.

"Better." Yuki answered absently as he looked through some of his accumulated homework.

Ayame decided to stick with 'safe' questions. "Are you going back to school tomorrow?"

"Yes, I have a lot of catching up to do." Yuki gave his brother a questioning look. _How long are you going to keep this up?_

"Should you really exert yourself so soon? Maybe you should rest for a few more days." Ayame suggested.

"I've had enough rest, believe me." Yuki replied.

Ayame's mind was not used to evasion, and he now found himself with no more 'safe' questions or topics to discuss, not to mention that Yuki was beginning to look irritated. "Yesterday, you were quite… angry with Akito." The Jyuunishsi snake started, choosing his words carefully.

Yuki gave him a mocking smile. "I'm impressed. You actually managed to put off asking for that long!"

"Are you going to tell me what happened?"

"Akito had it coming. That's all you need to know." Yuki put his homework away, and turned to leave.

"Yuki, wait!" Ayame grabbed his brother's arm. "Talk to me!"

Yuki looked down at the hand on his arm and gave his brother a furious look; unable to keep his bitterness in check. "If you had only acted like my brother when I needed you..." He shook his head in disgust, unable to continue.

"Then what, Yuki?"

"Then you would've known. And this probably wouldn't have happened! This is proof to me that you were never really my brother."

"Yuki?"

"There's nothing else to say." Tearing his arm out of Ayame's weak grasp, Yuki hurried away.

He desperately needed a distraction from the melancholy that nearly paralyzed him. So, Yuki headed to his garden, where he spent an hour weeding and tending to the crops. The small patch didn't fare as badly as he thought it would in his absence. He smiled, happy to know that he was sincerely missed.

_Honda San._

"I tried to take care of them, but I didn't have Yuki Kun's skills." Tohru laughed as she approached the patch.

"You kept them alive. Thank you, Honda San."

"What can I do to help today?" Tohru sat next to him.

"Thank you, but there isn't much left to do." Yuki put away the tools and started to take his gloves off.

"Well then, let's have some lunch."

XXX

Lunch was a lively affair thanks to Momiji's dynamism and Shigure's antics. Much to everyone's surprise, Ayame had already left, and Yuki pushed down the guilt he felt at that.

Later, Hatori had called to check on Yuki and tell Momiji and Haru to return to the main house. Yuki was grateful for that, desperately needing privacy. As the two were leaving, Haru pulled on Yuki's sleeve and whispered, as a final attempt to reach him. "I'm here if you need to talk."

Yuki smiled in reply, struggling to keep from trembling. _Please don't, Haru. I just can't. _

Yuki spent the rest of the afternoon helping Tohru with housework and doing some of his schoolwork, all while trying to evade Shigure. He kept himself busy, to avoid thinking about Akito. It worked for a while, but by evening, Yuki could not stop himself from doing so. Everything seemed to remind him of his Jyuunishi God in some shape or form; from his own reflection in the dimly bathroom mirror to Kyo's katas in the back yard.

Frustrated, he tried bating Kyo into fighting, but Kyo was strangely composed and would not respond to Yuki's jabs with violence. In the end, Yuki was left feeling humiliated and more upset.

As he lay in bed that night, he unconsciously tried to remember anything from that fateful night. He wondered if he was some kind of sadist, wanting to recall such a traumatic event. Still, he strained his mind for anything, not that he truly expected to be able to do so. The only evidence he had of the incident consisted of that narrow scar Akito left on his face, and the one he inflicted upon his own wrist. As he traced them with shaking fingers, a startled sob escaped. After a few more moments of struggling to stay composed, he abandoned the futile attempt and buried his head in his pillow, crying himself to sleep.

XXXXXX

AHHHHHHHH! Poor Yummy Yuki!

Those 3 sleeping against each other! AHHH! KAWAIIIIII! Anybody with artistic talent can draw that?

I know that was short but the next couple of chapters are going to be longer, promise!

I had to stick Haru in the bath. It's what perverts like me like to do.

Sorry it took me so long to write, I finally finished FFX and it was a beautiful ending but unfortunately I had already ruined the ending for myself…something I often do…so I wasn't surprised or sad or anything. I can't wait for FFX2. (I looooove Real Emotion!) The guy at the game store is gonna get sick of us pretty soon.

Also, Am I the last person on earth to notice the uncanny resemblance between Yuki and Kyo and Sogetsu and Kazuki of the greatest fighting game ever, Samuri Shodown 4? Sogestu is the epitome of SNK sexiness with his ultra cool attitude and gorgeous hair and is the ice element while Kazuki is the hot tempered and spunky fire element. They both hate each other (even though their siblings) Sadly, no matter how much I love Sogetsu I still suck even after 8 years of playing while my unreal brother can do a 20 something hit combo.

Super thanks to Sohma Risa who is super busy with school, and is much much younger than me (T-T) for proofreading.

Reviewers;

Ssjgoddesschico : I wouldn't want you to get in trouble with your family! but thank you I appreciate it. Yeah, Shigure was only trying to help but Yuki's a little angry. Akito eh?…I'm not going to give anything away just yet, but it's coming up in a few chapters. THANK YOU!

Chibi Nightmare-Chan : Yes I was waiting for your review! LOL! Yeah I like angst and poor Tohru really does want to help Yuki…if he'll let her, but we all know he'll never tell her something like this…or will he? Thank you for the suggestion; I actually incorporated flash backs of what happened in the next chapter as well, but chapter 15 will be a complete flash back to that sad event, from the party to the memory erasing. I had a lot of fun writing it! THANK YOU!

Trunks-chan3 : Ah psychological angst, the mind blowing kind, gives me a head ache to write …but it's all good in the end. I'm glad you liked that moment, even if you don't like Yukiru, and I'm delighted that you thought what I had Tohru say was good. I was having a lot of trouble with that part, it was like what's the weirdest corniest yet most profound thing I could write…and Cha Cha..I'm glad you liked the CENSOR point. THANK YOU!

secretmirror180 : No need to apologize! You don't absolutely have to review each chapter….OK you do! There. I want more reviews, I'm greedy and I'm too old to change. THANK YOU!

Gia : LOL! I hope I don't disappoint you!

Polka Dot : Friendship is good too, isn't it? LOL! THANK YOU!  
Alexandra-Kyoko : You were drooling and not crying? Then something's wrong with me if I write drool inciting rather than tear inciting angst! LOL! It's damn sexy isn't it? Yuki's perpetual sadness is definitely an appeal factor. THANK YOU!

annenime : I'm sorry if you were disappointed with your grade, but there's plenty of time to make up for it, right? And yes, Yuki is my inspiration but one day he will also be my downfall if I don't learn to balance my job and studying and Yuki….TT

Scary? How so? What did you think about Ayame? He was too tame in this chapter but don't worry, they'll be plenty of other opportunities for reconciliation…that's all they'll be, chances, unless Yuki actually relents, but Ayame's the last thing on his mind right now…all will be cleared up soon. Did you get a chance to read My Halloween fic yet? I await your review anxiously! THANK YOU!

Tsukitani : Yeah, the little squirt, but I love him soo much he's so cuddly and cuuuute! Ah! Yuki ranting like Akito? NO no, not at all! He already had his one on one with Akito and now it was Shigure's turn. But no, he is fully aware of who's responsible, and not delusional like Akito. Tohru will be playing a more active role in the fic now…but I don't have the heart to give her the kick in the pants she so sorely needs. Remember a month or 2 ago I complained to you that your flashback chapter with Yuki and Tohru was similar to a chapter I had already written for my story? Well, that was chapter 11 and if you didn't notice then Yaay! Where is the next chapter of FoD? I warned you! THANK YOU!

Caula : I love butterscotch flavored chips cookies. Hint hint THANK YOU!

akitosohma : LOL! Okay….unfortunately I have to use Hatori for the next coming chapters, but I will turn him over to you as soon as I'm done. THANK YOU!

Shinigami's Voice : WOWIE Finally! I'm so happy that you reviewed me and whatever Lisa said to inspire you to review is all true...Thanks Risa! Balancing angst with humor is a must for one to stay sane…and I love Ayame's character cause he's such a great personality to work with. I'm glad your enjoying my fic cause I enjoy yours. THANK YOU!

Caiti : Thank you so very much, keeping the characters in character is my main concern...then making Yuki happy! Ayame's gentleness and calmness does shine at times during the anime and manga and I know that deep down, beneath all that arrogance and coocooness, he's really just a nice guy trying to look after his brother and repent for what he's done…more on that coming up in a few chapters. And Akito, well, I really hate him, he's a real psycho, but it's always interesting to try to figure out the reasons behind his strange attachment to Yuki. And from what I get in the manga is plain confusion so we have to try to dramatize things a bit. I believe Akito's obsession with the Jyuunishi isn't just about asserting his power, but he really is afraid to be alone cause he does have feelings, regardless of how dark and twisted they may be and everything that he does is out of a childhood immature fear of loneliness and resentfulness of other's happiness. About Ritsu, well, I can't promise because I can't get a real feel for him and I'm really trying to focus on those characters who really connect with Yuki and can be instrumental in helping him find his warm place…but I'll try and THANK YOU for reviewing and your wonderful comments, its no inconvenience whatsoever! I hope to see you next time.

Sohma Risa: At last...My pharmaceutical feelings have recovered I'm glad you're well. Your help is greatly appreciated. Tiny ego? Why? I can lend you some of my fantastically extravagant ego. A friend of mine says that my ego is so huge that a industrial drill is necessary to trim it back to size. I think she's just jealous! THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH!

Backlash: THANK YOU! Looking forward to more of your reviews…

Thanks to greengirlblue for reviewing the Halloween fic!

Yuki is too delicate to recover just yet…how will the others help him? What about Akito? Will he return to ruin what's left of Yuki's life?

Anxiously awaiting your stupendous reviews!


	13. An Introspective Place

A Warm Place

Disclaimer I don't own Yummy Yuki or any Fruits Basket character. Fruits Basket belongs to Takaya Natsuki.

A continuation of the anime series laced with some obsessive hallucinations of mine.

_Italics_ thoughts

XXXXXX

At school, Yuki was nearly suffocated by the crowds of girls and boys that wanted to welcome him back with handshakes, gifts, poetry and unquestionably, love.

"So, the prince is finally back!" Uotani observed lightly.

"Yes!" Tohru smiled brightly.

"There's something wrong with his wave." Hanajima observed coolly, "It's much… darker than usual."

"Eh? What do you mean, Hana Chan?" Tohru asked, confused.

"I'm not sure, but his wave is definitely heavy, like a powerful negative emotion weighting down on him."

"Oh?" Tohru looked over at Yuki, who was talking with members of the student council. He didn't look sad at all to her, but then he was always hiding his feelings. _He must be still upset. Well, after the other night, I guess he'd still be unhappy._

"Well, he doesn't look as healthy as before that's for sure. His complexion's almost yellow." Uotani commented, scrutinizing the boy in question. "Didn't they feed him over there?"

"The others too." Saki turned to point at the remaining Sohmas standing together some distance away, watching Yuki. Kyo had an unreadable expression on his face, Haru looked thoughtful, while Momiji was unusually composed. "Though Sohma Yuki's is much worse."

_Something serious happened to Yuki Kun and he's feeling sad, Kyo Kun knows too and he's worried about Yuki Kun._ Tohru's visage saddened. _But Yuki Kun won't talk about it! Everyone's worried! What am I supposed to do? How can I help?_

"You too... Tohru Kun? " Hanajima turned to her friend with some surprise.

"Eh! No! I was just thinking about what Hana Chan said."

"Why's the mood so heavy all of the sudden? Come on, cheer up!" Uotani tried to liven up the atmosphere.

Even though Tohru put on a huge smile for her friends, her heart was elsewhere. And Hanajima knew it.

XXX

An exhausted Hatori walked back to his room after spending most of the night watching over a sickly Akito. The Sohma master's health had seriously deteriorated in the last two days. Obviously, one who's not used to confrontation would crumble at what Yuki did.

Akito's health was never stable to start with. In fact, he was probably second to Yuki in his vulnerability to illness, and often seemed to purposely make himself sick, but now, Hatori had to seriously consider that he might not recover. It worried him, what would that mean for the Jyuunishi. Akito's cruelty was mostly driven by his looming death, and their so-called 'debt' to him, but with his demise seemingly so near, what would he be driven to do out of desperation? Would he be more determined to get Yuki back? What was in store for the other Jyuunishi?

Pushing his hair out of his face, he reached for a cigarette. His day was far from over; Shigure was waiting for him to 'have tea', so he still had to put up with the Novelist's nonsense.

Shigure had warned him to keep away from Yuki until further notice, since the teen was still furiously bitter. Hatori could not blame the boy, nor did he feel particularly motivated nor interested in seeing the teen at the moment unless it was a medical emergency.

It would be uncomfortable now, to face Yuki and have to deal with all that rage; fully knowing that he deserves every bit of hate and rage directed at him. Things were always more or less awkward between him and Yuki, but now…Hatori wondered how it was that Shigure could live in the same house and see the poor boy so often without feeling guilt or regret. Hatori then remembered that Shigure had no shame nor was capable of feeling guilt: how convenient for him.

_For now, all I can do for Yuki is keep Akito away._

Back in the clinic, Akito slept on. Various tubes were infusing into his arms, and Medicinal vials and bottles were strewn all around. Nothing new for one so used to the sting of needles and the bitterness of medicine.

His body started and he thrashed momentarily, caught in the throes of a dream, before calming with a quiet "Yuki".

XXX

_Hatori's eyes met Shigure's as they sat on either side of the bed, faces pale and haggard. Shigure rubbed at his aching eyes and yawned, no longer having the strength to speak. Five days had passed since Yuki's return to the Sohma clinic from the hospital, and there was still no improvement in his condition. After his recent suicide attempt, he'd been kept constantly sedated, and when he'd wake, he'd alternate between catatonia and fits of sobbing self-mutilation. _

_It was all Hatori and Shigure could do to keep his hands away from his face._

_'Damn you Akito.' Hatori thought as he felt Yuki's weak pulse through a bandaged wrist. The teen chose that moment to open his eyes, and Hatori tensed, readying himself for another round of wrestling, but Yuki's eyes remained unfocused, unseeing of his surrounding as tears began to flow. _

_"Yuki? Can you hear me?" Hatori called his cousin softly. "Yuki, do you know where you are?" _

_No response._

_"God Damn it!" Shigure abruptly got to his feet, his chair loudly crashing to the floor; his face contorted with frustrated rage "Say something! Do you think we're happy to see you like this? Just look at me…just blink your damn eyes!"_

_No reaction. The stream of tears continued as Yuki's eyes seemed to see through his cousin._

_"Yuki…" Shigure slumped heavily in his chair. "Just…Just come back to us." He said chokingly as he covered his face._

_"There's no other choice," Hatori sighed miserably. "He can't continue like this. Knowing Yuki, he wouldn't have wanted to give up and this is the least we can do for him after failing him so badly." _

_"But Akito…" Shigure started._

_"I already informed Akito, he wasn't happy but he gave his permission."_

_For the first time in three weeks, Shigure allowed a smile to cross his features. 'There's hope!'_

_Hatori approached the bedridden boy, his normally stoic face poignant. "I only hope that in time you'll forgive us." and with that Hatori placed his palm over Yuki's eyes and prayed for mercy._

Hatori joined Shigure in one of the sitting rooms. All he wanted to do was rest, but the novelist had insisted that they meet to discuss Yuki's situation. "He won't talk to me at all." Shigure started when Hatori ignored his attempts at small talk. "He's just so angry. I can't blame him but he doesn't have to be so stubborn."

"Give him time." Hatori replied while lighting another cigarette. The events of the past few days definitely called for a smoke. "Is he taking his medicine?"

"I guess I can get Tohru Kun to check. He'll hate it but what else can we do?" Shigure shrugged.

"Just make sure that he takes it. Who knows what might happen. If he only took care of himself, and called me at when he felt sick, none of this would have happened." Hatori countered testily.

Shigure knew not to say anything, Hatori had to vent. The uncertainty of Akito's fate had everyone on edge.

"Just give him space for now." The Doctor continued. _He's no fool. Sooner or later he'll realize it was in his best interest. _

"I know, I know. But what's done is done. He was bound to find out one way or another. Only this time, this could benefit everyone in the end."

Hatori gave him an angry look. "I wouldn't start making plans yet, Shigure. Akito is still far from dead."

Shigure wasn't fazed. "I was simply stating the obvious, Ha San."

The Doctor wasn't convinced, and as he looked out to the garden, he wondered for the millionth time in his life, how Shigure was able to carry on like this and how he would never be able to find the strength to defy his destiny.

Shigure may be a manipulative selfish traitor, but Hatori was weak.

He didn't know which one was worse.

XXX

At the end of what seemed like the longest school day in history, Yuki was finally allowed to go home. His classmates had hounded him during school hours, and the council members picked up where the classmates left off after school. Manabe had insisted that they put everything on hold until his return, they apparently could not get a thing done without his constant supervision.

Sighing tiredly, he walked to his shoe locker. He had missed lunch earlier and now, he was going to walk home alone, about an hour after everyone else had already left. Solitude wasn't what he needed at the moment, but a constant distraction, whatever it may be; otherwise his thoughts would lead him to Akito and the multitude of feelings he'd been keeping at bay would overwhelm him.

He pressed his hand to his temple, trying to alleviate the headache that had been worsening through out the day.

Putting on his shoes and walking outside, Yuki tried to keep his mind on the many duties of the Student council.

As he neared the gate, he could hear voices talking outside the gateway. It seemed that some students were still around, and he exhaled jadedly. Chasing students off school property was the last thing he wanted to do now, but it had to be done- what kind of School president would he be if he couldn't do something so trivial? Never mind that they'd probably resent him for it…now the idea seemed even less appealing. Yuki considered the situation for a moment…since whoever they were seemed to be standing _outside_ the gate; they were not exactly ON school property so maybe he wouldn't have to say anything at all.

Yuki passed through the entryway, turning to face whoever was outside…

"Eh?"

"YUKI!" Momiji exclaimed cheerfully. "What took you so long? We waited for you!"

_They waited… for me?_

"Are you alright, Yuki Kun? You look a little tired." Tohru leaned closer, examining his pale complexion.

"I'm fine, Honda San." Yuki replied, embarrassed by her nearness "It's just a headache. You didn't have to wait for me!" _Thank you thank you thank you!_

"Yuki shouldn't wear himself out for those fools in the student council." Haru said as he wrapped an arm around Yuki's shoulders "Lets go, I'm hungry."

"Are you coming over for Dinner?" Yuki asked mildly as he pulled away.

"Tohru invited us!" Momiji bounced happily. "And we get to spend more time with Yuki!"

Yuki looked surprised but smiled, it was hard not to smile when faced with so much kindness. His gloomy mood lifted considerably. He then noted the absence of a Sohma.

"Where's Kyo?" He turned to Tohru.

"Ah, Kyo Kun said he was going somewhere and he won't be home till after dinner." Tohru replied.

Yuki just shrugged, no big loss there. He smiled again as four walked home together.

_I wonder if you'll still wait for me, knowing the truth. But for now…I'm be grateful for this._

_Thank you._

XXX

Kyo paced in the walkway leading to the Dojo. _Shishou's afternoon class should be over soon._ He'd been wanting to talk to Kazuma for a while now.

Of all the things he'd been pondering in the past few days, he wanted to know his surrogate father's motives for the interference with Yuki's wrath. Akito could've been killed by his cousin that day, one kick to the base of the throat and…sure the bastard deserved to die at Yuki's hands, but then again, knowing Yuki's _irritatingly_ sensitive nature, hurting the sickly Sohma Master would surely weigh on his conscience and then he'd have to worry about both his problems and the responsibility of hurting Akito….not to mention the outcome such an action would have on the Jyuunishi as a whole.

Still, should Kazuma have interfered?

"ARRGH!" Kyo didn't like feeling frustrated, and all this thinking was giving Kyo a headache. He wished he had never found out about the rape, nor visited Yuki at the clinic. It was so much easier to deal with Yuki only as the cold hearted mouse, not stopping for a second to take into consideration his problems or fragility. The vicious cycle of hate was much more convenient than all this concern. It was the way things should be; the cat should always hate the mouse and utilize the animosity built over generations of exile and rejection to defeat his nemesis and gain a place amongst the Jyuunishi once again.

Kyo wanted to be accepted, he craved it. He didn't want to spend his life an outcast, and that was his constant drive in fighting Yuki. Exploiting and twisting every word and action for a chance at winning. But now, even that drive for acceptance could not win against the rollercoaster of emotions which plagued Kyo the moment his eyes were opened to Yuki's dark reality.

Since Yuki's return; he'd kept clear of his silver haired cousin, afraid of what he might see in those large wounded eyes, or what Yuki might see in his. Every time he did or said something infuriating, Kyo had to bite his tongue to stop from lashing out. As justified as he felt in every attack against Yuki, he couldn't bring himself to fight, at least for the moment. It didn't feel right because Yuki was a victim, and ill and Kyo felt like scum.

Soon his violet haired cousin would certainly notice and become suspicious of Kyo's motives, which were mostly pity.

He knew it was wrong to feel that way; that night Yuki came after him along with Tohru, he doubted that Yuki felt pity for him, he couldn't see it in Yuki's eyes, only determination that Kyo would not run from a much needed confrontation. Even afterwards, Yuki never looked at Kyo with sympathy, only understanding. There was the acceptance that Kyo had been seeking; they were both in the same boat. Kyo had appreciated that immensely from his rival, and it helped alleviate the shame he felt at showing so much vulnerability that night. It was clear that he would not be looked down upon, nor treated differently.

It was a code of rival honor of some sort.

So, why was it so hard to treat Yuki the same way?

_Is this how I help him, by avoiding him? _

Yuki's forlorn face that night screamed for help, however, there was nothing Kyo could do at all.

Kyo felt even worse, not because he was unable to treat Yuki with the same respect, but also because once again, Yuki was a better person than he was.

_Even in situations like this…he's still better than me. Kuso Nezumi!_

"Kyo!" Kazuma called out as he walked towards his adopted son, snapping the teen out of his train of thought. Kyo was grateful for Kazuma's emergence; it saved him from a much dreaded soul searching.

"What are you doing here? Is everything alright?"

"Everything's fine. I just wanted to talk to you, that's all." Kyo shuffled his feet.

Kazuma nodded in understanding, the latest developments in Yuki and Akito's story would definitely perplex Kyo. "Come inside, let's have some tea."

"I'll make the tea." Kyo replied absently.

Kazuma smiled.

The two drank their tea quietly. To Kazuma, Kyo looked a little lost, irritated and very confused. The older man would give him as much time as he needed to collect his thoughts.

"Shishou…" Kyo started eventually, "Why did you protect Akito?"

The reply was immediate. "Because he's the Sohma Clan Head."

"So?" Kyo slammed his fist down on the table, shaking the teacups and the set. "He's a fucking sadist! Did you even wonder why Yuki was so mad?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, for Yuki to actually dare confront that bastard, it means something pretty serious must have happened, right?"

Kazuma nodded absently. "Yes, I'm aware of that possibility."

"Then why? Why didn't you let Yuki kick Akito's face in?"

"Because at that time, Yuki's rage clouded his judgment. Had he thought about it, he wouldn't have wanted to really hurt Akito. There are too many consequences to such actions for everyone, and Yuki isn't the kind of person who solves his problems with his fists."

"But Shishou… sometimes, things happen to us that change the way we are… the way we've always been."

_Could it be?_

"Why Shishou? Why'd you help them hold Yuki down?"

The anxiety in his voice was startling to Kazuma.

_Could Kyo actually be concerned for Yuki?_

"Kyo, I know this maybe difficult for you, and I'm not happy about what I did, but it was the right thing to do. Had you seen Yuki that day, you'd know that. Despite of how disturbing it may seem, I think things turned out as well as they could for Yuki."

"But Akito…"

"Kyo, you know how I feel about Akito, but unfortunately he is the Head of our clan, the power he holds over the Jyuunishi cannot be denied." _I must stay on his good side, for your sake._

The words were not spoken out loud, but Kyo knew why his surrogate father did what he did._ It was for me…_

"Kyo, don't you think it would be better to stop thinking about Akito and focusing more on what happened?"

"Huh? What do you mean?" _Isn't Akito part of what happened?_

"You've changed, Kyo." Kazuma beamed proudly. "I can see it."

Kyo gaped at the sudden change in topic, and then narrowed his eyes in irritation. There was no way he was going to share his thoughts, how preoccupied he'd been with Yuki's well being.

"No need to be embarrassed about it." The older man laughed, "I won't tell anyone."

"Hey! It's not like that at all!" Kyo yelled in denial, his red face giving him away in spite of his efforts.

Kazuma just continued to laugh, while Kyo sulked.

The older man smiled warmly as he assessed the boy, amazed at how far he'd come to rise above his hatred. How well he'd been healing.

Funny how adversity to one was helpful to another.

Kyo began to speak again, "Shishou, I-I just feel so… guilty."

_Guilty?_ "Why?"

"Because, that dammed…Yuki, he's just as much of a victim as I am, isn't he?"

"Yuki's life never was a walk in the park, Kyo. You knew that already."

"Yeah, but I it was easy to deliberately overlook his problems. I guess I was so obsessed with the idea of being accepted and defeating him that I would only see what he wanted us to see." _Only his perfect exterior, never the cracks underneath the surface, the tears behind that cool expression._

"And now, what are you going to do about it?"

He shrugged. "There's nothing to do really, Yuki's out of there. I wanted to help him get out, because I felt so bad for him, but now…

"I can't stop feeling sorry for him, Shishou. He'd kill me if he found out, but I just can't help it." Kyo replied dejectedly.

"It's natural to feel sorry for someone who suffered so much, but feeling sympathy for someone at first doesn't necessarily mean that you'll always feel that way.

"Looking at what that person endured and their accomplishments, the pity could easily grow into more distinguished feelings such as respect.

"Don't push yourself, Kyo. Take all the time you need and never feel guilty when it's only natural to be that way."

"But…"

"Your feelings will be honest, and that's what counts." Kazuma said firmly. "Yuki and everyone else will appreciate them."

Kyo felt a little better at that, but… respect for Yuki's accomplishments? Farfetched. Very far fetched, and all the jealousy and loathing Kyo still felt was not going to magically disappear, nor would he be comfortable without some of these negative emotions remaining. He had hidden behind them for so long when dealing with his hated rival, and almost everyone else. If he abandoned those comfortable feelings, what would he be left with for Yuki? He wasn't sure if he wanted to find out, the thought of him and Yuki getting along felt…He cringed at the though.

It would take time to sort out what he wanted to feel, but if the way he felt now was a start… Kyo smiled inwardly feeling somewhat at ease. Hopefully he'd figure out what to do sooner rather than later and for now, he had to avoid direct confrontation with Yuki, lest he say something embarrassing.

Kazuma watched Kyo quietly. This change was driven by something powerful. He was feeling guilty for something, and whatever it was; it was far more serious than feeling pity.

Kyo had come here looking for answers, needing to know all the facts so he could decide how he wanted to feel. Whatever he had discovered about Yuki had changed his thinking dramatically -- here was a boy who hid all his problems behind his detestation of the Rat, now wanting to help him?

It was an invaluable opportunity. Kazuma believed that the broken spirit of the Jyuunishi would only be healed through self-acceptance and self-actualization. They could only be cured from the inside, by opposing what fate dictated; by taking charge of their destiny and breaking free of the psychological component of the curse, as difficult as it may be. Kyo had to accept himself and understand that it was the cruelty of the curse which demanded the perpetuation of his isolation from the Jyuunishi. Had Kyo looked at the way things are, he would have realized that in recent times, he had not been excluded nor mistreated by his fellow Jyuunishi. He was acknowledged as one of them, maybe not included in the Jyuunishi circle, but the emotional support and acceptance is of much greater significance. Abandoning the pain of the past and opening one's senses to the suffering of others was something he'd been trying to teach Kyo for the longest time, and now, his student was unconsciously adopting the teachings into his life.

"Shishou! I should go now, I have some stuff to do for school tomorrow." Kyo got up and began to walk away, preoccupied.

Kazuma wouldn't push him to share his thoughts; it was something he had learned as he raised this boy. You do not pressure him to do anything. He was on the right track, and would soon come to his senses and do the right thing. "Alright then! Drop by again soon, we'll spar."

"Spar? Why don't we spar now?" An excited smile came to Kyo's lips, not wanting to pass up a training session.

The sparkle in Kyo's eyes reassure Kazuma that regardless of what happened, Kyo would be all right.

Eventually, everything would be all right.

XXXXXX

So you guys see exactly what's been bothering Kyo….and Kazuma's such a nice guy but he gave me so much trouble cause he's not in the anime long enough to get a feel for and the manga is a little confusing…AHHHHHH!

Shigure's opportunistic nature hasn't been deeply explored in the anime, but I believe that regardless of whatever the hell he's planning, he would still feel and worry about a sick family member, Yuki in this case.

Oh and Akito's still alive, the damn bastard! And dreaming about Yuki! Of all the nerve! I'm glad everyone liked Haru's scene in the bath. Wasn't it just cute!

Eternal gratitude to Sohma Risa for proofreading and my sister Vidanue for giving me her insightful, yet sometimes violent opinions when I need them.

Gia : LOL! Me too! THANK YOU!

Ssjgoddesschico : LOL! THANK YOU! Akito isn't dead yet so there's always a possibility for a meeting...soon. I'm sorry if it takes me so long to review but I have to thank you for reminding me of exactly how long it takes me. Everyone should know that it's nearly always you who gives me a kick in the boot to update!

secretmirror180 : Isn't he though? THANK YOU!

Caula-Lula : Sure! But I'm not sure how I can help, I don't know anything about websites or html or anything. I'm a total web illiterate TT. THANK YOU!

Kireina : You're absolutely right! And yeah, you'll see a bit of why I think Akito favors Yuki (in my humble opinion) in chapter 15. I'm so glad you liked it. THANK YOU!

Sohma Risa : Yeah, me like too! And sorry I was going through an 'I'm so old phase'….TT. No rush or worries take your time and THANK YOU!

Chibi Nightmare-Chan : Yup, it's all thanks to you! THANK YOU!

annenime : Yeah, not too much fun in these chapters, I'm glad that you feel the suspense I'm building…I'm trying and I'll see about the humor, I have some planned but I'm not sure how it'll fit in. Thanks for reviewing the Halloween fic! R Junkie smiles widely! THANK YOU!

akitosohma : Me too! THANK YOU!

Trunks-chan3 : Ohh? A funeral...I'm sorry TT but thank you for reading mine first, I really appreciate it THANK YOU!

animehobbit17 : I'm glad! THANK YOU!

Oh and It seems that I forgot to thank two reviewers who wrote a while back, I'm SOOO SORRY! DGFVD and Usakura. If I didn't thank you before. I'm sorry! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!

Last but not least, thanks to Shangri-La for reviewing the Halloween fic.

I never dreamed of having so many reviews! Thanks to everyone who read this fic and I hope you enjoy the rest. The next couple of chapters will be a rollercoaster ride for Yuki's still turbulent emotions while he tried to come to grips with what happened. Ohh Exciting! Um actually, it should be pretty depressing….

Will Akito be waking up anytime soon? What will Kyo finally decide on? And the peak of Yuk's angst.

Until then…Review Away!


	14. A Resigned Place

A Warm Place

Disclaimer I don't own Yummy Yuki or any Fruits Basket character. Fruits Basket belongs to Takaya Natsuki.

A continuation of the anime series laced with some obsessive hallucinations of mine.

_Italics_ thoughts

XXXXXX

The rate at which Akito's vitals seemed to deteriorate did not make any sense to Hatori. There was no pathological cause he could find for it, and found it frustrating that he could not do anything to help his patient.

The Sohma clan head would wake for a few minutes every couple of hours; call for Yuki or complain of pain. He could be given only so much morphine.

His stubbornness and refusal to die was his saving grace, once again.

As the Doctor penciled the results on the patient's chart, cold clammy digits gripped his wrist. He looked down to meet Akito's bloodshot eyes. "Bring Yuki…back." Akito rasped.

Hatori could only nod, feeling paralyzed under his God's intimidating glare. A moment later, Akito's eyes closed of their own accord.

_This is bad._

XXX

School was nearly over and Yuki was thankful. He wanted nothing more than to go home and sleep for the rest of the day. The student counsel meeting today had been chaotic; all they did was yell at each other, and it took all Yuki had not to strangle Manabe or scold Kimi. He was seriously contemplating replacing the council members with more productive sane ones.

He sighed and turned his attention back to the teacher. What lesson was this anyway? He'd been daydreaming a lot lately. Alternate scenarios of his confrontation with Akito were in the forefront, a reflection of uncertainty and lament. When teacher started talking about poetry, He realized that this was Literature class, a lesson Yuki enjoyed no more than the others. He excelled in all subjects, it was something that came with being the Jyuunishi mouse; he didn't have the luxury of a favorite subject.

The teacher began to read:

Let us go then, you and I,

When the evening is spread out against the sky

Like a patient etherised upon a table;

Let us go, through certain half-deserted streets,

The muttering retreats

Of restless nights in one-night cheap hotels

and sawdust restaurants with oyster-shells:

Streets that follow like a tedious argument

Of insidious intent

To lead you to an overwhelming question ...

_An overwhelming question? _

Oh, do not ask, 'What is it?'

Let us go and make our visit.

In the room the women come and go

Talking of Michelangelo.

The yellow fog that rubs its back upon the window-panes,

The yellow smoke that rubs its muzzle on the window-panes

Licked its tongue into the corners of the evening,

Lingered upon the pools that stand in drains,

Let fall upon its back the soot that falls from chimneys,

Slipped by the terrace, made a sudden leap,

And seeing that it was a soft October night,

Curled once about the house, and fell asleep.

The poem's words, full of dark innuendo captivated Yuki as the teacher continued to read. Phrases and situations so foreign, yet the emotions behind them hitting straight home. A lost soul, a confused mind, a haunting sinister world, contemplation of one's ultimate doom the only comfort in facing the treachery lurking at every corner.

Yuki was mesmerized.

And indeed there will be time

_Time?_

For the yellow smoke that slides along the street

Rubbing its back upon the window-panes;

There will be time, there will be time

_No…time has also betrayed me. Because I can never go back_

To prepare a face to meet the faces that you meet;

_They can't see… one can ever know_

There will be time to murder and create,

_They'll kill me with their eyes_

And time for all the works and days of hands

That lift and drop a question on your plate;

Time for you and time for me,

And time yet for a hundred indecisions,

_I want to…but I can't risk it_

And for a hundred visions and revisions,

Before the taking of a toast and tea.

In the room the women come and go

Talking of Michelangelo.

And indeed there will be time

_Nothing can ever change for me, fate has decided _

To wonder, 'Do I dare?' and, 'Do I dare?'

_Dare? Do I dare to show them a sad face? A real face?_

Time to turn back and descend the stair,

_They'll look at me_

With a bald spot in the middle of my hair--

(They will say: 'How his hair is growing thin!')

_They'll see… what I'm hiding_

My morning coat, my collar mounting firmly to the chin,

My necktie rich and modest, but asserted by a simple pin--

(They will say: 'But how his arms and legs are thin!')

_How pathetic I really am…how ugly_

Do I dare

_Do I dare?_

Disturb the universe?

In a minute there is time

For decisions and revisions which a minute will reverse.

_Never time…Never in my hands_

For I have known them all already, known them all--

Have known the evenings, mornings, afternoons,

I have measured out my life with coffee spoons;

I know the voices dying with a dying fall

Beneath the music from a farther room.

So how should I presume?

_I have not accomplished a single memorable deed. My life is not even that measurable…_

And I have known the eyes already, known them all--

The eyes that fix you in a formulated phrase,

_The Rat is all I can be. All I will ever be_

And when I am formulated, sprawling on a pin,

_I can't be anything else_

When I am pinned and wriggling on the wall,

_I can't falter…to stray is to lose _

Then how should I begin

_My mother, my family_

To spit out all the butt-ends of my days and ways?

And how should I presume?

And I have known the arms already, known them all--

Arms that are braceleted and white and bare

(But in the lamplight, downed with light brown hair!)

Is it perfume from a dress

_And even her_

That makes me so digress?

Arms that lie along a table, or wrap about a shawl.

And should I then presume?

And how should I begin?

_For me, there's only an end_

Shall I say, I have gone at dusk through narrow streets

And watched the smoke that rises from the pipes

Of lonely men in shirt-sleeves, leaning out of windows? ...

I should have been a pair of ragged claws

Scuttling across the floors of silent seas.

_I should have never existed, so why?_

_Why didn't they just let me die?_

A spark. A flicker which then erupted into a full blown blaze. Hanajima looked up form her book, startled by the immense melancholy she was sensing. Looking towards the source, she spied Yuki, wide eyed as the teacher continued to read. With every phrase, no every word, his aura thickened, doubled, tripled until she could see the faintest quiver in his body. She felt the intense play of emotions through him, gloom, rage, grief…She couldn't be sure, as they were merged together and if they continued, who knew what might happen to him?

And the afternoon, the evening, sleeps so peacefully!

Smoothed by long fingers,

Asleep ... tired ... or it malingers,

Stretched on the floor, here beside you and me.

Should I, after tea and cakes and ices,

Have the strength to force the moment to its crisis?

_No, not strength, that's not it_

But though I have wept and fasted, wept and prayed,

_I have long since given up on prayer since I was forsaken by God… sold to God_

Though I have seen my head (grown slightly bald) brought in upon a platter,

I am no prophet--and here's no great matter;

_For one who can't even save himself, there can be no savior _

I have seen the moment of my greatness flicker,

And I have seen the eternal Footman hold my coat, and snicker,

And in short, I was afraid.

_But fear is only the half of it_

And would it have been worth it, after all,

_One day, it may have been worthwhile, but now…_

After the cups, the marmalade, the tea,

Among the porcelain, among some talk of you and me,

Would it have been worthwhile,

To have bitten off the matter with a smile,

_That's why I hide it_

To have squeezed the universe into a ball

To roll it towards some overwhelming question,

To say: 'I am Lazarus, come from the dead,

Come back to tell you all, I shall tell you all'—

_Hide it all_

If one, settling a pillow by her head,

Should say: 'That is not what I meant at all.

That is not it, at all.'

_I can't even say what I mean, what I want, cause they'll know_

And would it have been worth it, after all,

Would it have been worthwhile,

_Is living a lie better than risking it all? _

After the sunsets and the dooryards and the sprinkled streets,

After the novels, after the teacups, after the skirts that trail along the floor--

And this, and so much more?—

_Cause if they know, _

It is impossible to say just what I mean!

_I'll lose what I always had even if I never wanted it_

But as if a magic lantern threw the nerves in patterns on a screen:

Would it have been worthwhile

_It has to be enough; otherwise I'll be left with nothing_

If one, settling a pillow or throwing off a shawl,

_And what will I do when I'm left with nothing?_

And turning toward the window, should say:

'That is not it at all,

That is not what I meant, at all.'

_Getting angry was not what I meant to do…_

No! I am not Prince Hamlet, nor was meant to be;

_This mockery of a person is_

Am an attendant lord, one that will do

To swell a progress, start a scene or two,

Advise the prince; no doubt, an easy tool,

Deferential, glad to be of use,

_Weak…_

Politic, cautious, and meticulous;

_Cowardly…_

Full of high sentence, but a bit obtuse;

_Ugly…_

At times, indeed, almost ridiculous--

_Filthy…_

Almost, at times, the Fool.

_Always the fool_

I grow old ... I grow old ...

I shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled.

Shall I part my hair behind? Do I dare to eat a peach?

_Do I dare resist fate? _

I shall wear white flannel trousers, and walk upon the beach.

_Everyone…_

I have heard the mermaids singing, each to each.

_Honda San…_

I do not think that they will sing to me.

_She can't ever…_

I have seen them riding seaward on the waves

_She's so beautiful, I_

Combing the white hair of the waves blown back

_I can't let her…_

When the wind blows the water white and black.

_I can't…_

We have lingered in the chambers of the sea

By sea-girls wreathed with seaweed red and brown

Till human voices wake us, and we drown.

_… I can't…_

Saki's eyes narrowed in concentration. She could practically see it now, an ominous aura of darkness threatening to swallow him up. He struggled for control, a speck of white, resisting, amidst the nearly overwhelming black.

Suddenly, he stood up. "Sensei, may I be excused?" He asked softly.

The entire class was stunned. The Prince was actually asking to leave in the middle of the lesson? Just as surprised, the teacher allowed it. To Saki, Tohru looked very concerned, while Kyo tried to look indifferent. She wouldn't be fooled, though.

"Thank you." Yuki whispered, keeping his movements slow and casual when inside his mind was screaming at him to get away from seeing eyes. He hurried out of class struggling to keep his breathing normal and his vision clear, unconsciously patting his pocket to ensure that his inhaler was indeed there. He quickly scanned the empty halls and rushed to the only escape he could think of, the roof.

He swung the door open and immediately turned to lock it with shaking hands, but it was too late, the tears had already began to flow and he nearly collapsed under the weight of his gloom, curling tightly into a ball as he wept for everything he had lost and everything he would never have…

XXXXXX

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Yuki Kun! Don't be sad! I will always loooooove youuuuuuuuuuuuuuu! (Insert very bad Whitney Houston impression!)

Before I start boring you with my routine chapter talk, I want to rant for a bit and since I love you for the kind, intelligent and beautiful people that you all are I will be grateful if you hear me (or read me ) out….it has been a bad few weeks since I last posted, wanna hear?

1) I stepped on a nail and had to get a tetanus shot – Ouch to both!

2) My car broke down and I had to commute by cabs for nearly 2 weeks and get up an hour early every morning just to get to work on time. (I'm still catching up on missed sleep) and to get it repaired I had to spend an amount nearly equal to half my monthly salary…why didn't I just get a new car?

3) We seem to be having our own version of the Bold and the Beautiful at work where everyone's plotting against everyone else (not me though…ok well, not really) and its getting extremely disturbing and ulcer inducing…in fact so disturbing that I think I'm gonna quit before they fire me for whatever trivial fault they can find in me. I have my pride!

4) Don't you hate it sometimes when you have to be the better, more mature person when your every instinct is screaming at you to do otherwise? You know what I hate the most? People who are so far up themselves that they can't read or hear something without distorting it and immediately getting rude and defensive. Where is this coming from? I won't get into the details; it's just not worth it. Starting a flame war with some one with apparently so many issues is not my idea of a good time. My point…there are tons of freaks out there whose sole purpose for existence seem to be filling up space and pissing people off. Yet, its always better (in the long run) to just shut those people out, talking back is just no good when the other person is obviously delusional. Just my little bit o' advise to my lovely readers…I LOVE YOU ALL! YOU GUYS RULE!

So…back to the chapter…not much this time but I wanted to take a closer look at what Yuki was going through. What did you think of the poem? Isn't it beautiful? It's "The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock" by Thomas Eliot and I thought it was perfect for Yuki. I hope it wasn't too corny or cheesy. I hate it when I ready stuff like that o.O I am actually pretty embarrassed and not all that happy with this chapter, cause poetic introspection isn't really my suit. Well, hopefully, there will be no more crying for Yuki, but loving! WOHO!….If only….

OK, next time the eagerly awaited flash back chapter. It's about 3 times as long as what I normally post so it'll take longer than usual, hopefully, before the end of October/early November. SORRY! I hope to post it sooner but the work ordeal is getting frightening and will be keeping me preoccupied but I am no way going to abandon the fic! All I can say is that I promise it'll be worth it.

All due thanks to Sohma Risa Chan for proof reading and my adorably violent sister, Vidanue.

Thanks to all my readers and reviewers. Almost everyone was angry at Akito, haha wait till you read chapter 15. You will LOATHE the skinny bastard! I guarantee it! LOL!

Animehobbit17 : I have updated! I'm glad you like it! THANK YOU!

secretmirror180 : Kawaii Kyo! Woho! I want them to be one big happy family! And yeah, Akito is still after Yuki…The bastard! Lets kill him in his sleep! LOL! THANK YOU!

kireina : I'm glad you liked Kazuma! He gave me so much trouble but he is a great character and enormously underused. Poor Shishou! And about Akito…we'll see what I can cook up for him. THANK YOU!

Ssjgoddesschico : No no, THANK YOU! You're just too awesome! Will there be a reunion between Akito and Yuki? All shall be revealed! And I apologize in advance for the delay in posting.

Polka dot : Kyo is confused cause he doesn't know what to feel. The dojo isn't that far away (I think) cause in the manga, Kyo visit Shishou a few times a week. But the reason I had Kyo put off the visit was because he was trying to sort his thoughts and feelings out. THANK YOU!

Gia : It is nice, isn't it? LOL! THANK YOU!

T-c3 : THANK YOU! I love angst too!

Calua : THANK YOU! But how fast should I post so I get a cookie?

Tsukitani : THANK YOU! Woho! And hopefully, Akito will suffer a fate worse than death...but its still not death…shame on me I know TT. Romantic tension…hmm.. nothing coming up next chapter but maybe in 2 or 3 chapters cause as you can tell, the poor boy's miserable and love is the last thing on his mind.

Chibi nightmare-chan : Its ok! THANK YOU for reviewing.

akitosohma : THANK YOU! XCringes at Akito Sohma's imaginary hammerX LOL!

Sohma Risa : He he! EGO INFALTING! Yeah I know. Stupid school. I'm glad I'm done with school, but I'm not done studying…stupid board exam! But THANK YOU for taking the time to review!

Well, that's it people…look forward to chapter 15, full of drama and angst (Special dedication will be to Chibi nightmare-Chan for the great idea!) and a happy Halloween in advance!


	15. A Tainted Place

A Warm Place

Disclaimer I don't own Yummy Yuki or any Fruits Basket character. Fruits Basket belongs to Takaya Natsuki.

A continuation of the anime series laced with some obsessive hallucinations of mine.

_Italics_ thoughts

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT: MINOR DESCRIPTION OF RAPE

XXXXXX

Yuki took a deep breath to compose himself before entering the banquet hall; he really didn't want to be here. He tried to ignore Ayame's loud voice exclaiming how great the outfit was and how much he resembled him. For two weeks, Yuki had had to put up with Ayame's nonsense while he got fitted for his costume and the experience assured him that he was right in maintaining the nearly non-existent relationship he had with his infuriating older brother.

In a way, this was a much better New Year's banquet than those in the past; having been finally introduced to his Jyuunishsi companions, Yuki was not to only sit quietly as an ornament by Akito's side.

Still, he didn't want to be here.

"Yuki Kun!" Shigure gushed as he rushed over, "You look so beautiful! Ah, it's almost too much for this old man to see!"

"Reminds you of someone, doesn't it, Gure San?" Ayame asked in a low voice.

"Why, Aya! You looked just as marvelous when you danced that year!"

"What do you say to reliving those times, Gure San?" Ayame leaned in close.

"I'll see you after the party then, Aya…" Shigure replied intimately.

Yuki had already tired of their antics and walked off, standing far away from the two perverted adults, wishing he could disappear.

"Yuki." Hatsuharu approached him and gave a slow, wide smile. "You look good." He reached out to grab Yuki's sleeve in his typical attached manner, but Ayame suddenly appeared and slapped the hand away.

"Now now! You'll wrinkle Yuki's marvelous costume!" Ayame scolded the white haired boy.

Haru gave Ayame an empty look and looked back at Yuki who was even more annoyed now. "Come on." Haru took Yuki's hand and lead him to where Momiji, Kagura and Rin where sitting. Kagura and Momiji immediately fawned over Yuki's outfit, each complimenting him and going on and on about how exciting it was to dance. Yuki eventually tuned them out as he and Rin glared at each other over Haru's shoulder.

He really didn't want to be here. It was different when one of the others was performing, he could blend in and not have to endure this commotion. Having to dance meant the eyes of the whole room would be on him. Scrutinizing him, judging him. And it meant that Akito had to see him dance. Yuki's eyes kept darting over to the entrance, watching the arrivals; Ritsu and Hatori escorting little Kisa and Hiro. No sign of Kureno or Akito yet. Hopefully the Sohma Clan head would bee too ill to attend.

It was a futile wish though, Akito was never too sick to attend the banquet. He had to ensure that no one let Kyo in, and then he'd make sure that the cat knew what a marvelous party he had missed and what an outsider he'll always be. It was cruel, Yuki felt, but he had other things to worry about; like Akito's dark possessive eyes trailing after his every movement, frightening him with their intensity.

Yuki shuddered; the only thing worse than the Sohma Clan head's eyes was his wicked tongue. The physical abuse was trivial in comparison with the cutting diatribe, because Yuki was starting to believe those harsh cruel words. He was exactly as Akito said he was, unwanted by anyone. Had anyone truly cared about him, he would have been saved, right?

Maybe, this bothersome dance would be his impunity?

_How silly of me. _Akito never needed a reason to punish or an opening to exercise his fearful clout. The beatings, insults and isolation seemed to be in accordance to the Clan head's whims. Maybe that was the best thing about the past two weeks, with Ayame in charge of the costume fitting, he didn't see Akito much and thankfully, Ayame hadn't noticed the bruises and cuts covering his back. The last thing he needed from Ayame was pity and superficial concern, after all, his older brother had made it clear to him so long ago where his priorities lay, and it was only fair for Yuki to return the favor especially now that Ayame seemed to have grown a conscience.

It would never be enough, because it was far too late.

Haru sensed Yuki's distress and put a companionable arm around his shoulder. "Don't worry, Yuki. You'll do great!"

Rin snorted. Momiji gleefully agreed. Kagura gave him a happy nod "Go for it, Yun Chan!"

Yuki smiled gratefully. "We should go sit, if Hatori's here then Akito's not too far behind."

The group's merry spirit dispelled at Akito's mention and they quickly scattered to their seats. Yuki walked to the front of the room tailed by Haru. Yet he found his younger cousin's presence was of little comfort, since he was dreading having to sit so close to the Sohma head. He fidgeted in his seat, keeping his eyes on the door, apprehensive at being the center of attention for the night. Haru watched him, concerned, but said nothing; he knew that the only words that would comfort his beloved cousin now were 'Akito's dead'.

Speaking of the devil, the laughter and loud chatter that filled the room abruptly died as Akito made his way inside followed by the loyal Kureno, who hurried to his own seat.

Akito's eyes scanned the room, ensuring that his entrance was met with the proper respect; he nodded arrogantly, and walked slowly to his designated place. The Jyuunishi dared not lift their eyes from the floor as they bowed, they would remain in that position until 'God' announced the start of the feast.

Akito allowed a thin smile to spread across his features as he caught sight of Yuki, dressed in a lilac and off-white robe, over a pale silk inner kimono lined with red. Ribbons and strings streamed down his headwear. The boy's eyes were glues to the ground. Feeling sadistic as usual, Akito chose to stop in front of the boy, wanting to see how terrified he could make him. True to his expectations, Yuki gasped softly, trembling slightly before composing himself and remaining still under Akito's watchful eye. Akito loved it; he loved nothing more than seeing the fright he caused.

He thrived on fear and pain; they were his only consoles in his miserably short life.

Looking down at the boy, Akito knew that the night was still young; there were many opportunities to enjoy the boy's pain. And his exquisite dance would only be an entrée.

With that he continued to his seat, settled himself comfortably and spoke clearly and coldly. "Let the banquet begin!"

That was Yuki's cue; he scrambled to his feet and hurried to the center of the room, still waging an inner battle. He turned to face Akito, bowing low and remaining in that position until the first strings of the shamisen where strummed.

He immediately came to life, twisting and turning perfectly in synchrony with each beat. He danced as the Rat, the Jyuunishi superior and inferior only to 'God' in a dance passed down for generations of cursed kin. His body swayed to the music, his feet light and silent, his movements soulful and graceful.

He tried to avoid making eye contact with anyone, most of all Akito, lest he see something frightening in those dark depths and miss a beat. Even Ritsu never faltered while dancing. If he did, who knew how Akito would punish him for ruining the sacred dance.

Nearly ever inch of his body had felt pain at Akito's hand at some point, and Yuki feared to think what new and vicious retribution Akito would come up with -- there wasn't much left Yuki hadn't endured.

He could feel the Sohma master's eyes on him throughout the routine and it took all he had not to turn and run out of the room. Akito's eyes had a strange glint to them, one he saw sometimes, and found mysterious and chilling. Those eyes appeared to want to swallow him up. He didn't like what he saw there, it seemed to touch him on a primal level.

The music seemingly went on forever, but Yuki would not falter. He continued to spin, making the rhythm his heartbeat, his pulse. He moved all around the room, passing all those present. He saw the happiness in Kagura's eyes, Shigure's small smile, Kureno's guarded expression, Ritsu's starry-eyed awe, Hiro's bored face, Rin's solemn one, Ayame's proud eyes, Hatori's quiet approval, Momiji's delight, Kisa's large wonder-filled eyes, Haru's warm smile…

And finally the same dark domineering expression in Akito's eyes, as Yuki came to a stop, facing him, just as the last beat of the Ko-tsuzumi rang out, signaling the end of the year of the Rat.

Yuki bowed low to Akito and hurried back to his seat.

Akito looked genuinely pleased, "What a marvelous dance that was!" He exclaimed. "How like the Rat to be superb. I am pleased, Yuki."

Yuki looked up at Akito seeing that his eyes remained possessive; he forced his lips to move. "T-thank you, Akito."

Akito nodded in approval. "And so ends the year of the Rat, and begins the year of the Ox." He said in a bored voice, and then clapped his hands loudly. The servants waiting outside hurried in to spread out the New Year's feast. Yuki smiled reassuringly at a worried Haru, then faced the front again, the party was just beginning.

XXX

After the food was cleared away ending the formalities of the party, the Jyuunishi could now mingle as they chose and Yuki wanted nothing more than to escape before Akito approached him, but it seemed everyone wanted to congratulate him.

"A dance worthy of my brother's beauty and grace!" Ayame slapped Yuki hard on his back. "Did you ever see a dance so perfect, Gure San?"

"Not even yours was that graceful, Aya!" Shigure teased.

"Ora? You wound me, Gure San! I seem to remember someone saying something about my dizzying moves being the inspiration to him in writing a love scene for one of his famous novels!" Ayame argued.

"I think a live demonstration is in order to jog this old man's memory." Shigure locked eyes with the other.

"Name the time and the place." Ayame replied immediately, no less suggestively.

Hatori took the opportunity to pull Yuki away. "You did well. Akito is pleased." Intending to soothe the teen's obvious worry.

Yuki looked up at the Doctor in resignation. "You know as well as I do that him being pleased doesn't mean anything at all."

Hatori only looked away in annoyance. How like Yuki to be so pessimistic, but nevertheless, right.

The youngsters gathered round Yuki, talking excitedly about their favorite parts in the performance:

"I loved the part when…"

"That move was perfect, it was like…"

"I can never hope to do so well…"

"I like anything Yuki does…"

Yuki could hardly keep up with them, he was getting a headache just trying to listen to everyone, but nonetheless, he smiled politely at them and tried to answer. A glance at Akito's chair found it empty, and Yuki saw Kureno escorting Akito out of the room. At that, he allowed a relieved smile to cross his features; now he could enjoy the rest of the party.

XXX

A few hours later, the guests began to leave the banquet hall, each making his or her way back to their quarters. Yuki hadn't had so much fun since Momiji's birthday a few months earlier, but now he was tired and wanted to sleep. Hatori immediately assigned an escort to each child/teen. Ritsu took Kisa, Shigure with Hatsuharu and Momiji, Rin left with Kagura, Hatori took the now very cranky Hiro home, leaving Ayame to escort Yuki back to his room.

Yuki glared at his brother and rudely stated that he didn't need an escort, but Ayame wasn't listening as he went on and on about the party. The young Jyuunishi hurried away, but it seemed like he just could not lose his persistent brother. He spotted his bedroom door and quickly made his way inside, slamming the door shut in Ayame's face. Ignoring the cries of protest from the outside, he sighed tiredly and looked around his dark room, lit only by the moonlight streaming in from the window.

It had been a cold winter, but strangely, no snow had fallen yet. Yuki looked up the full moon and wished to be someone else, somewhere else.

"That stupid Ayame really is annoying, isn't he?" Akito commented lightly from a dark corner of the room. Yuki froze in place.

_What's he doing here?_

"You really pleased me tonight, Yuki." Akito said softly, coming out of the shadows to approach the boy. He smiled as he took in Yuki's pristine appearance, still clad in the festive costume, bathed by the moonlight. Yuki saw the dreaded look return to Akito's eyes and edged away.

"I want you to dance again, Yuki." Akito was saying. "A dance just for me. What do you say? You'll do it, ne?"

Yuki found himself nodding; he should've known that Akito would never leave him in peace tonight.

"That's good." Akito reached a hand out to play with Yuki's hair; fingers trailing down the strings and ribbons, eventually curling around one possessively. "But not here, there's another place. One I think Yuki earned to see today."

Yuki looked away uncomfortably. _Place? What place? _Akito took Yuki's hand and pulled him out of the room.

The halls were dark and empty as the two walked through them. Yuki kept hoping he'd run into Hatori, Shigure or even Ayame; anyone to discourage or distract Akito from whatever he had planned, but it seemed that everyone had already gone to bed after the long evening. He started to ask where they were going, but Akito reacted quickly. "Shhh. You don't want to wake anyone!" He said nonchalantly, pressing a cold shriveled finger against Yuki's lips, pressing lightly at first, then harder, before pulling away. Yuki wanted to wipe his mouth clean of the feel of Akito's cold clammy fingers.

He dared not speak again.

Akito opened a Shoji and pulled Yuki inside a dimly lit room, floored with many cushions. "Sit." He commanded while he went to fetch something from a nearby table. Yuki was beginning to worry, he had no idea where he was and here he was alone with Akito in the middle of the night and he didn't do anything wrong and…

"Drink this." Akito was offering something to drink in a large glass.

Yuki looked down at the strange reddish liquid, or was it brown? He couldn't tell in the poor lighting, all he could see was that the glass was nearly filled to the brim.

"It's called wine." Akito was saying, holding a much smaller glass of his own. "It's what adults drink, and I think Yuki deserves to pretend to be an adult tonight. It's your reward for that dance." Akito smiled again, and Yuki decided that he liked Akito better when he wasn't smiling; everything about that expression was insincere.

"Now, drink with me," Akito took a gulp of the glass. "It'll be our little secret. Hatori doesn't know that I keep this; he's such a bore isn't he? Always playing by the rules. But, I like to have fun sometimes. What about you Yuki? Do you like to break the rules sometimes?"

_A trick question._ If Yuki agreed Akito would probably punish him for being a delinquent, if he disagreed he'd get punished for disagreeing with Akito. Yuki went with his instincts.

"Sometimes." He whispered

"Hehe, Yuki! You're so funny! I was wondering if you were going to stay the cowardly Rat forever! I was starting to think that you were a lost hope!"

Yuki didn't know what to say to that.

"Now, drink." Akito continued, "You're not going to let me drink alone, are you?" Yuki noted that Akito had not taken another sip, but wasn't about to say anything. He brought the glass to his lips slowly and drank; it felt dry, yet cool at the same time. And the flavor was odd.

"Drink it all, Yuki!"

Yuki complied and the whole glass was soon empty. He coughed a little, unused to the strange taste. Akito grinned widely. "Since I have let you in on my secret, how will you repay me?"

"Eh? What?"

"Oh, you're so silly, Yuki! You'll dance for me of course, a private performance just for me! But not here either." Akito walked towards the Shoji at the other end of the room and slid it open displaying a magnificent garden, a blend of trees and bushes trimmed to perfection even in the ice-cold weather. A chilly breeze from outside invaded the room.

"Do you like it?" Akito asked proudly.

"It's beautiful" Yuki replied, feeling a little giddy even in the sudden cold.

Akito lay a hand on Yuki's shoulder and squeezed. "This will be our special place, Yuki. No one knows about it, not Hatori, not Kureno. Nobody. Just you and I."

"…Thank you." _I think._

"Now, how about that dance?" Akito walked out into the cold air, pulling his heavy kimono a little tighter around him. Yuki realized that Akito had prepared himself for the cold, he on the other hand was only wearing his costume and he doubted that it would provide much protection against the cold. Akito's expectant look settled things; he would dance for Akito and hopefully, be left alone.

Yuki walked outside and stood next to the icy Koi pond, barefoot, rubbing at his arms to warm himself. He looked over at Akito, "What about the music?"

"Do you want me to hum it for you?" Akito laughed, as he settled himself on the porch.

"N-no." Yuki took a deep breath and began to dance, practiced movements flowing in time to the music in his head, he moved like earlier. As he spun, he felt his head begin to throb, and the world around him seemed to be spiraling. He paused in time for some elaborate hand movements and found himself strangely uncoordinated. As he spun again he started to lean towards the side, nearly falling and putting his hands out, trying to find balance. He put a hand to his head and looked worriedly at Akitothrough unfocused vision._ What's going on?_

"What the matter, Yuki? Forgot the steps already?" He laughed sarcastically.

"No. I don't know… what's wrong." Every word he uttered, every thought seemed to reverberate painfully in his head. All he wanted to do was close his eyes and sleep. He tried to focus his eyes on Akito, and took a step forward, needing to sit down. _What's wrong with me?_

Another step and he fell to the cold ground. _My body… What's going on? _

Akito glanced down at the boy, his eyes cold and calculating, then stood and approached him.

"Yuki? Get up!" He kicked him lightly.

"W-what's going on?" Was Yuki's frightened reply, fighting the urge to sleep, eyes closing of their own accord then opening only by sheer will. "Akito?"

"…"

"A…A-Akito?"

Said man smiled wickedly, _He's still aware, perfect_, before settling down close.

_It's so cold._ Yuki thought absently as he watched his icy breath disperse into the cool air above him.

"You're mine, Yuki." Akito said gruffly, the hateful glint now consuming his eyes, his face sinister and ugly in the moonlight.

Yuki tried to move his head but it was just so heavy and all he wanted was to sleep, however, his head was screaming at him that Akito had done something horrible and that if he didn't move something even worse would happen.

"Don't move." Akito ordered.

"What… d-did you do to… me?" The anxiousness behind the slurred words was clear.

Akito ignored him and looked away from his face, down his body. A chill ran through the silver haired boy as Akito traced a path down his chest with a wrinkled finger.

"What are you…?" The sense of impending doom was overwhelming. _Oh god!_

Akito brought his hands to the belt holding the layered outfit together and began to undo it.

Yuki's eyes widened in alarm as he tried to move away, but found his body unresponsive. Panic filled every pore in his body. _GET UP GET UP GET UP!_

His breath caught in his throat as the panic incited an attack.

"This is the way it has to be Yuki…you must submit to me, you belong to me…the price the Rat pays for arriving first." Akito was saying calmly as he tore the outer robe open and reached for the inner kimono.

"…no!" _This isn't happening!_

His body was sluggish, heavy. His mind was spinning, seemingly unable to comprehend what was happening, his body quivering as Akito exposed his delicate skin to the cold.

"Did you think that I took care of you for nothing all those years!

"I took you in when your mother dumped you! When your brother abandoned you! They couldn't stand the sight of you! Something so sick, so low, so wretched! But I took you in!"

"...no..." Yuki whimpered_. No, they betrayed me...it's not my fault._

"You owe me!

"Everything that you are belongs to me!

"Without me you are nothing!"

_No, I'm not like that_

"No one will ever love such a despicable body!

"You Worthless…

diseased

ungrateful

...disgusting Rat!"

_I'm not…_

"Liar..." Yuki retorted weakly between wheezes for breath. "You don't love me!" _You never loved me! _He gathered every ounce of strength he could to raise his numb hand, swatting at the older teen's invading hand.

"YOU DARE?" Akito screeched as he slapped Yuki hard across his face, then again.

"Only I would able to love someone so treacherous and ugly. That's how good I've been to you! And you call me a liar? After all I've done for you?

"If not me, then who will ever take a rat in?

"Outsiders will shun you away, destroy you, wear you down, betray you, break you; but only I can love you! Because even though the Rat is a traitor, I can find it in me to forgive him!

"Make no mistake…your existence is meaningless without me!

"You will never be able to exist without me! Wherever you are, you will always belong to me!

"You're lucky that I've been able to find a use for someone so weak and useless!

"So stop being an ingrate and accept your fate…a fate fitting of a miserable creature like the Rat!" Akito hissed in Yuki's frightened face.

Akito continued to undress him, running his clammy palms over the stretch of exposed pale smoothness, ignoring his victim's cries, gasps for breath and struggle for consciousness. Goosebumps stretched out across Yuki's skin under Akito's repulsive touch.

"You're so beautiful, Yuki." the Clan head whispered as he brought his face close to Yuki's visage, licking away the trail of tears he found there, fit of rage replaced by vile tenderness. "How ironic that a Rat is so beautiful."

"Oh god!" Yuki wheezed through bluish lips. "STOP IT!" He gathered the remaining air in his lungs for one last cry, one that was ignored.

_STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT!_

Everything was becoming blurry and despite the primal fear that coursed through his body, the breathing difficulty and struggle for much needed oxygen, he was losing to the overwhelming lassitude that had been plaguing him and desperately welcomed the blackness where he couldn't see Akito's eyes or feel the sickening touch upon his immobile body any longer. It could have been Seconds, minutes or hours later that his eyes snapped open, body arching involuntarily, blinding tearing pain igniting his nerves, he couldn't even cry out, or dare look down. All he could do was watch the first snowfall of the year, as cold as the tear tracks crystallizing upon his face and his frozen body…he hoped it would numb him indefinitely—

XXX

Someone was shaking him. He didn't want to get up, he was so tired, but the shaking continued, and it seemed to get more aggressive, until finally, he was struck hard across the face a few times. He opened his eyes to see an irritated Akito peering down at him. "Get up." He growled.

Yuki looked around in disorientation, coughing delicately. The sun was just coming up, filling the room with an orange glow. Yuki realized that wasn't his room. What was this place? Why was he sleeping on the floor? Why was he so cold?

"Get up!" Akito repeated, threateningly.

Yuki slowly got up to his feet, and as he took a step forward, an intense burning sensation was felt in his lower back, between his… Why did he hurt there? That made no sense. He opened his mouth to tell Akito, then decided against it as his face throbbed with an unknown injury.

Akito sighed in frustration and grabbed Yuki's hand. "You're always giving me so much trouble." He snapped, turning to leave and pulling Yuki along roughly.

Yuki coughed again, then gasped softly. The pain seemed to amplify with every step he took, then something trickled down the side of one of his legs, but he was so tired, he must still be dreaming. He pulled his clothes tighter around his body, attempting to ward off the cold.

Akito walked quickly, and Yuki stumbled a few times as he struggled to keep up. Once they reached Yuki's room, the older teen let go of the hand he was holding, allowing the drowsy boy stumble to his bed and attempt to lie down to continue his slumber.

"Yuki!" Hatori exclaimed, suddenly waking and getting to his feet, having spent the night in one of the chair's in the room. "Akito! Where was he all night?" The Doctor demanded.

"My secret garden." Akito replied like it was an obvious answer, unfazed by Hatori's presence.

"What Secret Garden? Where is that?"

"It's a secret, Hatori, just like the name. One only for Yuki and I," Akito replied lightly, "Now if you don't mind, I'm going back to my room, it's been a long night!"

With that, Akito turned and walked out. Hatori immediately put the Clan head and his riddles out of his mind as he hurried to Yuki's side to examine him. There was a cut running down the side of his face, cheeks unusually chafed, swollen and dirty, his lip split and bleeding; all in all, nothing too serious. Looking further down, the immaculate silk he had worn yesterday was muddy and damp. Yuki then turned in his sleep, mumbling, exposing the even dirtier back of the costume, lower half of which was spotted with blood.

The Sohma Doctor froze. He felt his mind go blank and his breath catch in his throat. He couldn't think. He couldn't bring himself to grasp what could have caused this. The clothes were loosely tied around the teen's body, disheveled, dirty, bloody... With a shaking hand, he pulled the silk layers up… Yuki's underwear was spotted with blood too, and a fresh trail of blood was making its way down one leg.

Hatori didn't need to see anymore, he gathered the sleeping boy in his arms and wept.

XXX

A few hours later, Yuki had been moved to the Sohma clinic, treated and dressed in clean clothes, the bloody garments now disposed of. The Doctor had cancelled all the appointments he had for the day and looked down at the blood test results.

'Low blood alcohol level with presence of a Benzodiazepine derivative.' He gripped the paper tightly.

He wanted to hurt Akito, badly. Not just for the rape. Combining sedatives with alcohol was lethal. Yuki could have died.

The wounds had been cleaned, though Hatori seriously doubted that Yuki would heal in a day or two. Akito had been brutal.

"God Damn it!" Hatori slammed his hand on his desk. _How could this happen? How couldn't I predict this? Why couldn't I protect him?_

Yuki was someone Hatori felt immensely responsible for. Left by his family to Akito's mercies, the boy was already physically unstable, in and out of the clinic. His emotional well-being was Hatori's concern as well. Since he was a proud individual, he hated people fussing over him, but sometimes, the pain and self-loathing reflected in Yuki's expressive eyes would almost undo Hatoti. He had hoped that Akito would grow out of his 'torture Yuki phase' but as the years went by, there was no indication of this ever happening.

Yuki was doomed to a lifetime of torment, both Physical and psychological, and now…how would Yuki react to this?

A coughing fit erupted from the teen and he opened his eyes groggily, focusing them on Hatori's face as he continued to cough. He began to turn over onto his back, but Hatori's hand on his arm stopped him. "Stay on your side." He ordered.

"Why?" Yuki rasped then cleared his throat. He pulled the covers tighter around his body, feeling cold.

"Never mind," Hatori replied sharply as he covered Yuki with another blanket.Then took his temperature, frowning at the reading._ He seems to have caught a cold as well._ "What do you remember from last night?"

"Last night?" Yuki echoed softly, sniffling as he rubbed at his now aching temple, "The dance?"

"After the dance…" Hatori prodded, averting his eyes.

"Akito made me drink something. He wanted me to dance for him and I don't remember anything afterwards." He winced. Talking was such a chore. "Why is it so bright in here?" Yuki complained as he drew the covers over his head.

Hatori drew the curtains closed and returned to his seat. "How about now?"

Yuki slowly peeked from under the covers, squinting till his eyes adjusted to the much preferable darkness.

"You don't remember anything at all?" Hatori asked again.

"What's going on, Hatori? Why are you yelling at me?" Yuki asked irritably, wanting the conversation to end, and a Panadol. Hatori cleared his throat, but found he had nothing to say.

_God damn it._ _How could he do this?_

"Yuki…Akito made you drink something, alcohol of some sort, he even mixed in some of his sleeping pills…it made you lethargic of course, since you don't drink, whatever it was affected you strongly and you…then he…" Hatori clenched his fists.

_I'm so sorry Yuki_.

"What? He did what?" Yuki questioned as he rubbed his eyes, more awake now. Hatori's evasiveness was bothering him and he sat up in bed, grimacing immediately with pain, finding himself abnormally sore in a place... He looked down at himself in shock then up at Hatori's sad eyes. "What happened to me?" he asked in a shaky voice.

Hatori didn't speak, and looked away.

"What did Akito do to me?" Yuki yelled, then winced, the headache worsening…then it hit him. The alcohol, the dance, the soreness he felt…his clouded thinking immediately put the facts together.

_Oh God! _

"He didn't!"

"I'm sorry." Was the Doctor's only conciliation.

Yuki felt his world crashing around him, he didn't understand what was happening, _Akito couldn't have…that's impossible!_ But why did he hurt so much and why was he in the clinic and why did Hatori look like he was going to cry?

"No."

Yuki continued to stare at Hatori, he tried to take in air, and suddenly found that he couldn't. He opened his mouth to speak but his throat was dry, burning, constricting so much that it was nearly impossible to swallow. His eyes refused to focus anymore and all he could do was try to breathe…

Hatori was immediately at his side. "Breathe, Yuki. Take a deep breath!"

He couldn't because his lungs refused to work. He opened his mouth to yell out that it was a lie, that it couldn't have happened, but he could only manage a sharp wheeze as his body struggled against his efforts to stay conscious.

"Calm down, Yuki!"

No response as Yuki felt his lungs heavy against his chest, all he wanted to do was breathe and he couldn't stop crying and maybe he'd wake up and it'd be all a dream, a nightmare or if he was lucky, maybe he'd die, he just wanted to die he didn't want to live anymore and just wanted to end his suffering and his loneliness and his pain and he was so dirty and worthless…

XXX

Hatori entered Akito's quarters and made his way to sit across from the lounging young man.

"So, Hatori…how does the little Rat fare?"

"Badly." Hatori replied dryly.

"But you're a Doctor, Hatori! Surely you can fix it! Or can't you? Funny how your incompetence as a Doctor demonstrates itself now when Yuki is so needy of your help."

Hatori clenched his eyes shut and began to take deep calming breaths. A few moments later, he began. "Yuki is not going to get better, Akito. Something like this can't be treated with drugs and medicine in a day or two. For him to get better medically he would need counseling and antidepressants and the treatment may take months, years even."

"I can't see why this is so difficult to treat…"

"It was a very traumatic experience for him. Yuki… he lost something important to him and—"

"Lost? What's that supposed to mean? You talk like I took something from him! Something that didn't already belong to me!" Akito replied indignantly.

"Akito, you…"

"What I did is perfectly within my bounds! I guess I gave him too much credit for his strength. I never knew what a sentimental weakling he was. Something like you were when that stupid woman was here, Hatori."

Hatori glared at Akito

"Yuki's condition is very serious. I seriously doubt that I or any other Doctor could help him recover since—"

"You talk like you know the capabilities of every Doctor in this Country, Hatori! Like you've consulted outsiders on a private matter!"

_Damn it_! "He will die!" Hatori exploded. "Today, tomorrow, next week, I can't keep him drugged forever! And if I don't he'll starve himself to death or claw his eyes out or worse! If that was what you wanted then you should have done it that night and spared him all this pain! You nearly killed him anyway, giving him alcohol with your pills!"

"Hatori?" Akito was speechless in the face of Hatori's unusual rage. He would not be spoken to like that, he would teach the arrogant dragon his place. He must… Akito then realized what was said. _Yuki will die?_

"You don't mean that," Akito said in a challenging tone. "There is no way that he is so pathetic!"

"He took what happened very badly, he will not recover." Hatori responded evenly.

"So then, what are we supposed to do?" Akito asked sarcastically, "I happen to like the little creature, he entertains me. Letting him die is no option, Hatori!"

"Then it must be erased."

"What?"

"He can't handle the incident, so it must be removed from his memory. His condition will not improve any other way."

Akito clenched his fists. He didn't want Yuki to forget, something like this should stay with him for the rest of his life, but to die in exchange? No, Yuki was much more valuable than that. Well, the rat won't be far away, he could always 'refresh' his memory…

"Then I order you to do it, Hatori! If you knew how bad the situation was why didn't you inform me earlier rather than leaving poor Yuki to suffer for so long?"

Hatori counted slowly to 10. _I will not hurt that bastard_. "My mistake. I was hoping that he'd improve on his own."

"But, you said that there was no hope of that happening! If you were unable to make such an important decision by yourself, you should've come to me, Hatori. That's what I'm here for, to take care of my family!"

"Some changes will have to be made."

"Changes?"

"Yes. Yuki cannot continue to live at the main house after this."

"WHAT?"

"If he stays here, there is a chance that he may remember once more, then we'd have to deal with this ordeal again. There is always a possibility of something triggering the memory. He has to leave."

"Triggering …? What are you talking about? Why don't you do it like you've done the others? No one has ever remembered after their memory was erased!" Akito yelled in confusion and frustration. _He will not leave me!_

"Not exactly, but if you recall, none of the people who had their memories erased remained in the same place for extended periods afterwards. Those children, they never entered the garden again. Momiji's mother doesn't stay at the main house anymore and she hardly ever sees Momiji, and… Kana has never re-entered the clinic for more than a few minutes. Returning to the same place or seeing the same person frequently may trigger the memory if it was powerful enough, that is why Yuki must go. The main house or gardens might remind him of…"

"What about me? Are you saying I shouldn't see him anymore?' Akito screeched. _No! I won't give Yuki up!_

"No. That would be your decision, but we must do what we can. A change of environment will definitely help Yuki recuperate faster."

"And how long will this be for…?"

"To be on the safe side… indefinitely."

Akito gasped for a moment before falling silent. _I have to let him go…indefinitely?_

He turned to look out the window in consideration of what was said, then eventually gave in to the ire.

"ARRGH!" he screamed, grabbing a nearby vase and flinging it in Hatori's direction. Thankfully, he hadn't aimed and it missed the Doctor by a few meters.

Hatori said nothing. Akito's fits of rage often followed events where the young man felt he was not in complete control. He would calm down eventually.

True enough, after breaking whatever he could get his hands on; Akito rearranged his robes and walked toward the older man, sitting uncomfortably close. Grasping his tie and pulling him near, so he could whisper in his ear.

"Hatori, I'm counting on you to help my precious Rat recover. I knew it was only a matter of time before he too left me. I hoped he could keep me company a little longer, but… he's more important than a silly incident like this. I want to see him smile again." _So I could wipe that smile off his face_. _Break him once again…_

"Thank you." Hatori stood up to leave. _Silly incident?_

"Since I am feeling generous today, I will forget the disrespectful way you spoke to me. Poor Hatori, to be so concerned about Yuki to actually start to lose his mind! You should get some rest!"

"I'll rest once this ordeal is over."

"Where will you put him?"

"I was thinking where Shigure's staying."

"Oh?" Akito raised his eyes brows in surprise "Shigure's? You have this whole thing planned already! Did you discuss it with him already?"

"I merely thought of the possibilities."

"Good, good! How like you to be so considerate"

Hatori nodded respectfully and began to stand.

"I want to see him, before he leaves."

Hatori gave him a strange look.

"What's with the attitude, Hatori? I just want to say good bye to my precious pet!"

"Fine."

"Now stop dallying and go, I'm tired." He dismissed Hatori with a 'shoo' motion.

Hatori nodded respectfully and walked out.

Oddly, Akito didn't feel the need for rage again. Rather, an unusual sense of calmness settled over him as he considered his options after the unexpected turn of events. In all honesty, it was getting rather tedious to punish those boring animals. Their reactions, often endearing, were now becoming mundane and repetitive. What he desired was a new challenge to his power, to test the force of his influence. And who was a better plaything than foolish Yuki? An experiment…that's what this will be. An experiment fitting for his cursed little creatures. A test to see what that deluded boy could do with mock freedom. To trick him into building an absurd excuse for a life outside the family. To push and pull at his strings and see his amusing little responses. Could he really believe that he was normal? Could Yuki really be happy away from everything he's ever known? Could Yuki really forget all about his master? Living outside the main house? Preposterous! Surely he'd be devoured by the outside world! Tarnished and rejected by all. And then Akito would step in to teach him the errors of his thinking, tearing down all filthy lies and delusions about a compassionate accepting world that doesn't exist. Bringing him back to his side once again as a show of eternal mercy. He shivered in perverse delight, and felt himself empowered by this unforeseen opportunity.

Another chance to mould pathetic little Yuki into a docile pet. Another chance to dominate, discipline and control. To break and scar. To punish and touch. To taste his tears and savor his fear. To hold his magnificent eyes as he trembles. To love him and be loved by him. He would make little Yuki an example for those foolish ingrates. Those who plotted against him and hated him behind their smiling masks. Undoubtedly, they will at last realize that they only have him in their disgusting existence and finally submit to his will. Never again shall he be defied and forever will he be worshipped and adored.

Never alone. The never-ending banquet.

A smile grew across Akito's dry lips. Life was good.

XXX

At the clinic, Hatori faced a tired looking Shigure, both then turning to gaze at the frail young man in bed.

"There's no other choice," Hatori sighed miserably. "He can't continue like this. Knowing Yuki, he wouldn't have wanted to give up and this is the least we can do for him after failing him so badly."

"But Akito…" Shigure started.

"I already informed Akito, he wasn't happy but he gave his permission."

For the first time in three weeks, Shigure allowed a smile to cross his features. 'There's hope!'

Hatori approached the bedridden boy, his normally stoic face poignant. "I only hope that in time you'll forgive us." and with that Hatori placed his palm over Yuki's eyes and prayed for mercy.

XXXXXX

Doesn't it make you want to castrate Akito? Silly little incident eh? DAMN YOU! Akito is such a bastard! It's just like a monster to destroy their victim emotionally, just in case any struggle was left in them. POOR YUMMY YUKI! T-T. And before anyone says anything, I'm aware that I left out the part where Akito cuts Yuki's face with the frozen rock. I didn't want to dwell any longer than necessary on the rape.

The scenes with Hatori and Shigure in the last two chapters weren't incorporated here 'cause I had already planned them as part of the story and didn't want to repeat myself…much!

I want to dedicate this chapter to my fic guinea pig, my sister Vidanue who cries, snarls then tries to strangle me at the end of every chapter she reads. Sheesh, violent isn't she? But I'm sure that its only because she is so overwhelmed by my incredible literary talent and the humanity and realism of this story that she is stripped of all her civility and left with her basic animalistic instincts that solely drive her to implement the laws of the Jungle against those who seem weaker (such as my waiflike self) and assert her rule over our PC!

Also to Chibi Nightmare Chan for her great idea! THANK YOU! And last but definitely not least, Sohma Risa. Without her invaluable help, readers would end up laughing throughout the chapter and the story might as well be a humor fic rather than a drama! THANKS SO MUCH RISA CHAN!

For those interested, Benzodiazepines are a group of drugs used as sedatives/hypnotics, sometimes as antidepressants and in treatment of anxiety (no wonder they were prescribed to Akito). Side effects include drowsiness, impaired coordination, confusion and amnesia. On addition of alcohol, their depressant effects are magnified. An antidote is available but by the time Hatori got the results of the blood test, only low levels of the drug remained in Yuki's system.

This of course is my on take on the events of the New Years banquet. I'd imagine that they'd all sit from 'God' in the same order their legend counterparts arrived in. Takaya had mentioned that each animal had its own costume (I've seen Momiji's, Yuki's and Hatori's) so I'd also assume that each animal had its own dance. So even though each animal seems to be assigned a color set for their outfit, Ayame with his splendid tailoring skills would certainly involve himself in making Yuki's outfit.

Ayame's relationship with Yuki? Well, I'm not sure if anything was said in the manga about when Ayame came to his senses, but I guess it could be in Yuki's early teens?

How did Yuki conclude that he was raped when he's so young? Well, he was 13/14 so he's not exactly a child and besides, I think someone who looks as enticingly lovely as Yuki has to be aware of sodomy and such. I'd imagine that Yuki would get a lot of homosexually oriented (good natured?) teasing at school and with Shigure and Ayame's constant flirting (and who knows what else) as well as Akito's disgusting touchy feely nature, who wouldn't get a clue? And why would he have a full blow attack at the clinic and not during the rape? Well he was drugged and drunk, in and out of consciousness as the attack started. At the clinic, he didn't have the luxury of a sedative and his already afflicted lungs just reacted to the situation.

I want to thank all my stupendous readers and reviewers and everyone who sent me a kind/encouraging word. DOMO ARIGATO GOZAIMASHITA MINNA SAN! I'm really flattered that you guys care. It's like one big happy Internet Anonymous family! XGROUP HUGX. MY work related ordeal continues; yet I decided what I am going to do about it. No more waiting for things to happen like a helpless little girl! I have taken control, leaving me feeling quite empowered! HA HA! EGO SOARING HIGHER THAN ANY SPACE SHUTTLE!

Gia : I'm glad you liked it! THANK YOU!

Yume no Kokoro : THANK YOU so much! And yeah, poor little yummy Yuki!

Kireina : I'm glad you liked the poem, and Saki! And now, I hope no one ends up feeling sorry for Akito, at least not after this chapter. THANK YOU!

anne-nime : Good Luck on your finals! I'm happy you liked Kazuma! I liked the poem too and I thought it fit Yuki perfectly. I'm actually pretty bad at poetic introspection and such so there was no way I could've made the poem clearer for anyone else! Besides, the vagueness actually helped the overall mood, don't you think? Akito dying? nope, I don't think I'm going to kill him, but I hope to torture him plenty! Ayame? We'll, you'll have to wait for chapter 20 or 21 for that, but I promise it'll be good! Thanks for your encouraging words! But no, this chapter was written about a month or so before this whole mess! And I hope things get better for you too! THANK YOU!

Become So Numb : I'm glad you liked it! THANK YOU!

T-c3: Yeah actually, I realized who you were half way through my reply! I'm glad you stuck with me! The chapters will actually be getting longer than usual now. And THANK YOU! for caring!

akitosohma : Ok, I won't! Lol! THANK YOU!

Ssjgoddesschico : What did you think? Any good? Feel really bad for Yuki now? Lol! THANK YOU! XHUGGLES BACKX

hieiluver45 : Wow! I'm flattered that you think its that good! And I loathe Akito too! I hope to read more of your reviews in the future! I sent you an email as requested! I hope you liked my other stuff too! THANK YOU!

Calua : I've also experience the sugar high, though I was at a library and me and my friend ran around looking for romance novels with Fabio's picture on it. Ah those were the days! How lucky! Yeah I guess I hate mine too in that case! Lol! THANK YOU!

Pennath : Yeah it was quite painful, especially since I had to run up and down 2 flights of stairs and then drive myself to the hospital! And those people suck! I'm glad you liked the poem, I studied it in my IGCSE literature class, that would be year 10/11 in the British educational system, and no I'm not British nor do I live in England! Thomas Eliot's stuff is pretty deep! I'll try to watch my tense in the future! I Hope you enjoy future chapters of the story as well! THANK YOU!

justareviewer, notawriter : I'm glad you liked it! I'll try to make him suffer as much as possible though, its what evil people like me like to do! THANK YOU!  
Chibi Nightmare Chan : Since it was your idea let me know what you thought! THANK YOU!

Sohma Risa : THANK YOU! XHUGSX thanks so much! The more I read the poem, the more confused I get! LOL! No please, thank you! What did you think of the extra Akito bit?

Tsukitani : Was it really that sad? How about this one? And you'll have to wait for the next chapter to see what happens to Yuki! Its true that I'm evil, but I'm not interested in making a Yuki pancake! And the nail, that was way before, so it's not like I purposely didn't tell you! But I'm still hung up about the engraved/embroidered thing…everybody who reads it is going to say 'yeah! That Tsukitani, she's a champion of humanity to dedicate it to that poor R Junkie who's obviously mentally retarded! AHHHH! LOL! THANK YOU!

JayJay : Welcome! I'm sure that would be really cute… THANK YOU!

Sorry about all the rambling….

P.S. Has anyone seen chapter 83 of furuba? Am I the only one who's going to blow a gasket over what Yuki said about Tohru? I was actually going to cry at first, and then I got MAD! Takaya better fix it or DIE! …Right, as if death threats worked with Takahashi. T-T

(cleansing breath) Next up, Yuki on the roof…get it? LOL!


	16. A Realized Place

A Warm Place

Disclaimer I don't own Yummy Yuki or any Fruits Basket character. Fruits Basket belongs to Takaya Natsuki.

A continuation of the anime series laced with some obsessive hallucinations of mine.

_Italics_ thoughts

After that 'intense' flashback, back to the roof guys.

XXXXXX

Putting his inhaler back in his pocket, Yuki leaned against the fence circling the roof's edge as he peered down at the students making their way out of the building.

_School's over. _He noted absently, wiping away the wetness remaining on his cheeks.

They were laughing and chatting amongst themselves, seemingly without a worry in the world.

Yuki gripped the metal harder. _Why do they get to be happy? Why does everyone else get to be normal? _

_"Of course you're strange." _

_Shut up! _

He tightened his hold, the metal digging into his skin.

_It's not fair. _

_What have I done to deserve any of this?_

_Why should this happen to me?_

_Why am I the untouchable?_

_Why should I always be forsaken?_

_I can't take this!_

_I can't…_

Yuki shook the fence aggressively, then gave it a swift kicking, then another, and another…

XXX

Tohru wrung her hands together, troubled eyes darting between the classroom and the nearly empty halls. "Where's Yuki Kun?" She asked Kyo for the hundredth time.

"How the hell should I know? Jerk takes off in the middle of class and I'm supposed to know where he went?" The red head replied heatedly.

"But, why didn't he come back? Classes are over!"

"Who cares? He can take care of himself! Maybe he had a council meeting or something, he's been having them all week anyway!" Kyo snorted, tired of Tohru's worry over that undeserving selfish Rat.

"Yeah! That has to be it!" Momiji agreed, collecting Yuki's things. "Come on then, Tohru! Let's go!"

"But, then Yuki Kun will have to walk home by himself!" She protested. She could see it in his eyes that day, he'd been so grateful when they waited for him. Yuki was very good at hiding his feelings, but she could tell that something was wrong. It scared her to see how much he was hurting and she ached for him to share his thoughts and feelings, but he'd change the subject when she'd ask. He simply wasn't ready to talk about it, and all she could do for him was be there for him should he want to.

"Don't you have work today, Tohru Kun?" Hanajima asked monotonously, snapping Tohru out of her trance.

"Yes I do, but…"

"Then you should go. You don't want to be late." Hana finished coolly.

"Yuki wouldn't want Tohru to worry about him and be late for work!" Momiji stated as he pulled her out of the classroom, Kyo following quietly.

"But…!"

"Haru's staying after school cause he's got detention. He got into a fight with some guys for making fun of his hair!" The blonde said gravely, then immediately brightened, "But he can walk home with Yuki, so don't worry!"

"I'll tell him." Saki volunteered. "I'll tell Sohma Hastuharu."

"But…"

"Let's go already!" Kyo turned to leave. He was sure that Yuki was at another meeting. He wasn't going to waste his time worrying over nothing…not that he was _worried_.

"A-alright, thank you, Hana Chan!" Tohru bowed and smiled gratefully, waving goodbye as the two nearly dragged her towards the exit, her eyes scanning the halls one last time for a sign of the lavender haired Sohma.

With her dearest friend gone, Hanajima looked up towards the roof.

_Sohma Yuki, what is happening to you?_

She was definitely reluctant to tell Tohru what she sensed and where he was. She supposed that it was selfish of her to deny Yuki Tohru's help, yet there was so much darkness and misery, much worse than what she felt that night by Kyoko's grave. Quite simply, she feared for her friend; what if she couldn't handle it? What if she ended up hurt by it? Hanajima would never forgive herself.

However, would Tohru be upset if she discovered what was kept from her?

Hana strengthened her resolve. It would not do to think that way. First and foremost, she had a duty to Tohru; to protect her, regardless of how much others may need her.

_What is it with those Sohmas? Why does darkness revolve around everything they are?_

XXX

Thirty minutes later, a somnolent Hatsuharu made his way out of detention and walked to his shoe locker, after a few detours of course, where he found Saki waiting for him.

"Sohma Hatsuharu." She began, eyes boring into his. "You better go see to your cousin, Sohma Yuki. He left halfway through last class and hasn't been back since."

"What? What happened to Yuki?"

"Nothing yet. I can feel him though, on the roof." She pointed upwards. Yuki's gloomy denpa was still strong enough for her to sense.

Haru dropped his things. "Sohma Kyo has already taken Tohru Kun home, so she doesn't know." Hana added. He nodded, hurrying to the staircase.

She watched him go then turned to leave. "My job here is done." She stated quietly, heading home. "I'll be sure to assess Sohma Yuki's wave tomorrow. If it's still dark, then he should stay away from Tohru Kun for a while. Even if they live in the same house, something will be done."

XXX

Haru rushed up the stairs. It was surprising how he made it directly to the roof without losing his way: maybe it was because he was so worried about Yuki that he actually paid attention to where he was going. The way that creepy girl talked implied a seriousness he knew better than to ignore.

Yesterday, his cousin had remained withdrawn, even as he helped them with their schoolwork, and throughout dinner; His eyes forlorn, and his smile forced. It was just as Haru predicted. Whatever it was, Yuki would not be able to handle it alone.

He grit his teeth and put on more speed.

XXX

Yuki continued to kick the fence in earnest. Eventually, his foot began to ache. He looked around wildly for another outlet, and found nothing except chain link fencing all around. Glancing up, he noticed the water reservoir on top of the roof entrance, spotted the ladder leading to the top, and climbed it quickly.

At the top, Yuki booted the container, but the hard metallic surface was more than a match for his fury. One kick and Yuki moved back, wincing as his foot throbbed. Suddenly, He felt an urge to climb to the top, to look down at people for once in his life, to throw himself off and end his misery and…

He froze. _What the…? _

Hatsuharu chose that moment to make his entrance "Yuki! YUKI!" Haru yelled, "Where are you?"

A moment of scanning the roof found Yuki. It looked like he'd been trying to climb on top of the reservoir. _Why would Yuki want to do that?_

"Yuki!"

Said boy slumped to the ground, like a marionette whose strings had been cut, and wrapped quivering arms around his knees, burying his face in his sleeves. _Oh God…what was I going to do?_

"Yuki? What are you doing up here?"

No answer. _Oh God!_

"Yuki?"

"N-nothing." Yuki mumbled. _Oh God!_

The younger teen didn't push for a confession. He was immediately at his cousin's side, waiting for an explanation, confession or anything Yuki would offer. He was hoping Yuki would talk on his own.

They stayed like that for a few minutes; Haru's hand rubbing Yuki's quivering arms in hope of offering some comfort, the lavender haired teen looked t positively terrified. "It's all right, Yuki."

Yuki suddenly pushed Haru's hands away and got to his feet to climb down the ladder. He then returned to the wire enclosure and leaned against it, closing his eyes as if suddenly tired.

"Yuki? What's wrong?"

No answer.

Haru didn't like where this was going. Yuki's eyes had looked a little too wild for his liking. He walked over and gently pulled Yuki away from the railing. Yuki resisted at first, then drew away, "Leave me alone!" He said unkindly.

The younger Sohma's mouth dropped open in shock. Yuki glared at him and turned to leave. The younger Sohma quickly followed down the stairs and through the now empty halls.

"Stop following me!" Yuki turned to face his cousin, leveling him a livid look.

"What's wrong, Yuki?" Haru asked anxiously.

"Nothing!" He snapped, turning to continue walking.

_Nothing is wrong because nothing was ever right! _

"You don't leave in the middle of class for nothing, Yuki." Haru retorted.

"I'll do whatever it is I want, so mind your own damn business!"

Haru's mouth felt dry, and the initial apprehension, began to transform into rage. _I'm just worried about him and he won't let me worry. Damn it. What the hell is wrong with him?_

"Why are you still following me?" Yuki shouted over his shoulder, "I said I want to be alone!"

And then, white phased to Black.

"Oh no you don't!" Black Haru rushed over and wrapped his arms tightly around his cousin's torso, trapping his arms. Yuki gasped at first then roared to life, struggling to get loose. "Let me go!"

Hatsuharu ignored him, picking him up then swinging him around as he spotted the open door of one of the classrooms. He rushed inside, ignoring the pain from Yuki's hard kicks.

Letting his captive go and sliding the classroom door shut behind him, Yuki hurried away.

"Now, you're going to talk!" The white haired teen growled, blocking the exit.

"What's the matter with you?" Yuki yelled.

"What the matter with me?" Haru shouted back, "What the matter with you? You walk around like a zombie and don't expect people to worry?"

"I don't want your worry." Yuki replied tersely, "I don't want anything from anybody! I just want to be left alone!"

Even when Black, there was still a trace or rationality in Haru's mind, and it told him that Yuki was much too angry, much too defensive and hostile. He paid it no heed. "You're going to talk to me whether you like it on not!"

"I said, I don't want to talk!" Yuki replied, words dripping with contempt.

Haru snarled and stalked up to the other, grabbing his shoulders and shaking him slightly. "So the great Rat doesn't want to talk with the lowly Ox? Well, I've got news for you! The Ox wants to talk and is going to get some answers! I won't stand by and watch you destroy yourself! I won't!"

He squeezed the flesh under hands. "Talk, damn you!"

By then, Yuki had had enough of the other's annoying persistence, and pushed him away, hard. Haru flew back from the force of the shove and fell back into a row of desks. He looked up at his cousin from his place on the ground, putting a hand to his aching head, and finding his fingers covered with blood.

His Black side dissipated from the shock.

Not in all the years he'd known Yuki had he ever been talked to nor treated so aggressively. He didn't know whether to feel hurt or alarmed by this treatment. "Yuki?"

The fire in Yuki's livid eyes died upon seeing the thin trail of blood trickling down Haru's face.

He hurried to his cousin's side. "Haru! Are you all right? I'm so sorry! I don't know what came over me!" He began to search his pockets, looking for the handkerchief he always carried with him.

Taking advantage of having him so close, and unguarded, Haru reached out and wrapped his arms around his fair cousin tightly, laying his bleeding head on Yuki's shoulder.

"Haru…" Yuki began threateningly, not liking where this seemed to be going, even if he was responsible for injuring the other.

"Shut up. Just tell me you're going to be all right." Haru demanded quietly. "That's all I want to hear!"

"I …"

_What do you want me to say, Haru? That I was going to jump off the roof hoping to land on my neck? I'm not all right now and I doubt I'll ever be._

Haru responded by tightening his hold. "You see? You're not. Yuki has always been strong on his own, but maybe its time for Yuki to admit that he needs help. We're your family, let us help you."

Yuki didn't reply.

_I'm dying inside and I know I can't ever open this lid. I can't ask for help because it's too late for me; it's always been too late._ The depression he'd been feeling all afternoon spiraled into an all-consuming low, and under an unknown impulse, he gripped the material of Haru's shirt; desperately wanting to let it all go, wanting to accept the comfort Haru was offering.

He couldn't. Haru didn't deserve to be tainted by his filth, no one did. No one must ever be involved. It was all too shameful, too horrible.

But, Haru was here now. He was always here. Maybe…just maybe he wasn't as despicable as he thought? Was it possible? Could he not be as pathetically detestable as Akito said? Was he really so undeserving of love? Utterly useless?

If he ever found the strength to let them in, would his family truly and finally shun him?

Would she?

_I'm too weak to even ask to help. I can't risk it; I'd rather maintain his façade than risk being alone. _

_I couldn't ever handle that._

He let the other hold him, unable to do anything else. His strength focused on keeping the tears at bay.

He would allow himself to be selfish, this time.

_But, thank you for worrying about me. When you do, I feel a little less worthless_.

"Thank you." Yuki whispered, chocking on his words, remembering how close he came to jumping, how his rage and grief consumed him, blinding him into hurting Haru and possibly…

"I'm sorry."

_I won't cry again. Someone is here beside me, and that's enough for now._

"I want to share Yuki's pain. But, only if Yuki will let me."

_I can't! But this- this is enough for now. _

"Thank you, Haru." Yuki repeated, then moved out of the embrace. "You need to have Hatori look at that." He examined the cut under Haru's tresses. "You might need stitches." He added guiltily, finally finding the handkerchief and pressing it against the cut.

"Hold it there" Hatsuharu did, lazy eyes noting the red marks marring Yuki's hands. "What happened?" He reached for one of those pale hands, but Yuki helped him up and then pulled away.

"Never mind that. I'm really sorry, Haru, I don't know what got into me."

Yuki turned away to straighten out the desks, feeling quite ashamed, for a lot of reasons.

Haru wouldn't let it be like that, he wouldn't let Yuki feel guilty. "I'm not sorry. I got a hug from Yuki." He retorted, smiling gently, "It's times like this that I wish I had a diary."

Yuki turned to give him a surprised look.

"And to think that Yuki and I were alone in an empty classroom after school…I think I will start a diary." He continued calmly, his gaze taking in his surroundings then returning to Yuki's shocked face.

Yuki continued to gape, the absurdity of what was said incredibly...hilarious. He giggled at first, and then erupted into full blow laughter as Haru joined in. The two teens continued to snicker as they walked to their lockers.

Yuki wiped his watering eyes and smiled at Haru. "You're incorrigible!"

"Ah you know you love it." Haru replied lightly.

Yuki only continued to smile.

_I do._

XXX

As the two reached the Sohma compound, Haru pulled on Yuki's arm.

"Maybe you're pushing yourself too hard." Haru suggested, "Why not skip school for a few days?"

"No. I want to…I have to keep myself busy. If I'm not doing anything I start to think… and I don't want to remember, not yet. I don't want to think about it." Yuki shook his head in disagreement, fidgeting.

"Why are you being so noble?" The white haired teen sigh, "I can tell that it's killing you inside, Yuki! You try to put on a brave front but it doesn't hide how much this has affected you!"

"Haru…?"

"I remember your words to Kisa that day, about learning to forgive yourself on finding out that people like you. Well, I like Yuki and I'm not the only one. There are a lot of people who like Yuki for who he is. They like Yuki when he smiles and will still like him when he frowns. No one wants to force you to do or be anything other than what you are.; Not the Rat, but Yuki. Let yourself be sad or angry or whatever. Let people know because it doesn't matter. They're not going to hate you if you're less than perfect."

He sighed in exasperation. "I wonder why Yuki can't forgive himself for whatever it is that happened, when it's clearly not his fault, and when there are so many people around him who care about him and are ready to support him. Remember that we all love you, Yuki. Right now it's all we can do for you."

Yuki took all of that in, considering it. _It's not just this; it's my whole life. Everything accumulated, and I can't show anyone how I'm feeling, it's too awful! I'm too ashamed! _

Nevertheless, Haru's words were still good to hear, andhesmiled at his cousin. "I guess hitting your head has its advantages, you've never been wiser!"

"I've always been wise, Yuki!" Haru replied with mellow cheer, "This family gives me a lot of chances to practice my introspective skills. Besides, I stole half of what I said from you."

"We are a bunch of sociopaths, aren't we?"

"The worst kind! But, it doesn't mean that we're doomed. There's always hope." Hatsuharu held Yuki's eyes with his, determined to convey this wholly to the other.

"I'll try to remember that, thanks." Yuki hesitated for a moment, "I'm really sorry about hurting you, Haru. Please—"

Haru silenced him with a finger to his lips. "It's my love scar from Yuki. I will always cherish it."

Yuki chuckled again, patted Haru on the arm and turned to leave. "I'll call you later."

Haru watched him until he disappeared from view.

_There's always hope Yuki. Just don't shut it out when you see it._

XXX

"Tadaima!" Yuki called as he took his shoes off. After dropping Haru off, he'd taken a walk around town to clear his head and calm himself.

He thought about what Haru said, all those words meant to encourage and soothe, and found himself feeling ashamed of his weakness to truly take the words to heart. He hoped that someday he could be strong enough to actually risk shattering the princely image he was cursed with harsh reality.

He still felt guilty about hurting Haru. Was that all he was good for? Hurting those who cared about him? It was further proof that he was much too unstable to attempt to resolve this issue now.

The only way around this was to distance himself from everyone, lest he hurt anyone else.

He hoped Tohru wouldn't notice anything unusual, he really didn't feel like talking.

"Yuki Kun!" Tohru rushed to greet him. "I was so worried! You left class so suddenly and then we couldn't find you and—"

"Honda san! Please, I'm fine. I'm sorry for worrying you."

"I'm so glad!" She smiled brightly, her eyes straying to the brownish stain on Yuki's shoulder, which looked suspiciously like…

"AHH! Blood! Yuki Kun! Are you all right? There's blood on your shoulder!" She babbled as she hurried to examine him. "Should we call Hatori San? Do you want to sit down? Should I go—"

Kyo came in to see what the commotion was about.

"I'm fine, Honda San. It's uh, not mine."

"Eh? Then who?"

Kyo looked on suspiciously, waiting for an answer.

Yuki lowered his eyes to the ground in shame, "Actually, it's uh… Haru's." he mumbled.

The other two heard him loud and clear.

"How did Haru get hurt?" Kyo raised his eyebrows in interest.

"Is Hatsuharu San all right?" Tohru asked fearfully.

"Eh? I kind of… pushed him a little hard and he, um…" Yuki explained, the rest of his words lost as he continued to mumble.

"Eh?" Tohru looked confused. _Yuki Kun and Hatsuharu San are such good friends! Why would Yuki Kun need to push him away? Unless, Hatsuharu San turned black and tried to… _

Kyo interrupted her profane thoughts with a loud laugh. "Ha! That's a first, hitting your fanboy like that! What'd he do? Did he turn black and try to—"

"What? NO!" Yuki blushed, "You're not just stupid, you're also perverted!"

Tohru reddened too, embarrassed that Kyo had voiced her 'inappropriate' thoughts.

"Well, what do you expect us to think?" Kyo continued condescendingly, happy to have the upper hand for once. He was going to enjoy every second of this. "You stay after school together till god knows when and I bet there was no council meeting in the first place! So, what did you two do? Why'd you push him? Did you decide that you weren't interested halfway?"

Yuki leveled Kyo a seething look. "I'm not in the mood for your perversions, Baka Neko. Whatever it is Shigure must be spoon feeding you is just as rotten as your sorry excuse for a brain!"

"WHAT!" Kyo screeched, "If anyone here is rotten it's you! You hermaphrodite!"

"Trying to pin your depraved tendencies on me isn't going to work, Baka Neko." Yuki replied icily.

Tohru tried to calm the two down. "Eto… Yuki Kun! Kyo Kun!"

They ignored her.

"You're just as sick as that twisted brother of yours!"

"A deviant like you is in no position to lecture anyone on morality."

"Well at least I don't get off on having guys in my fan club!" Kyo retorted desperately.

"I can't stop people from doing that. But, at least I can be mature about it, and not get jealous of the attention others get."

"JEALOUS! WHO'S JEALOUS KUSO NEZUMI?" Kyo yelled, outraged.

"Why don't you tell me, Baka Neko?" Yuki glared back, then smiled arrogantly. "Or should I say Hentai Neko? You know, to reflect your true uncouth self? Shigure would be proud that someone has been taking notes while he made an fool of himself."

"I'LL SHOW YOU!" He attacked, Yuki dodged and Kyo flew out the front door landing just in front of Shigure, who was coming home from the main house.

"Kyo Kun!" Tohru gasped.

"Yuki Kun, Please don't destroy my house!" The novelist whined, stepping over Kyo twitching form.

"Oi!"

"I can't help it if he attacks me." Yuki replied absently, giving them both a depreciative look.

Kyo got up, brushed himself off and headed for the roof to cool off, mumbling obscenities about hermaphrodites and violent ways of killing them.

"Good riddance to bad rubbish." Yuki muttered as he made his way upstairs.

"Ano… Yuki Kun?" Tohru stopped him at his bedroom door. "Are you all right? I mean, about this afternoon?"

Yuki forced a smile to his lips. "I'm alright, Honda San. There's no need to worry. Haru actually helped me a bit." He said, in case his smile wasn't sincere enough for her.

"Really? That's wonderful! Hatsuharu San really does care about Yuki Kun! But then, how did he get hurt?"

"I pushed him a little too hard." Yuki looked a little ashamed. "But he's all right now"

"Oh! Well, so long as he's all right now! I'm sure he knows that you didn't mean it!"

"I hope so." His smile wavered so slightly that Tohru thought she must've imagine it, "Now, if you'll excuse me, Honda San, I want to change out of this shirt."

"OH!" She panicked. "Was I in your way? I'm sorry! I talk too much—"

"It's all right." Yuki reassured her as he slid open his bedroom door, not noting the strange glances she kept giving his shoulder.

"Ano, Yuki Kun…" Her hand on his arm stopped him. "I'm really sorry." She said her eyes huge and sorrowful.

"Eh? What for, Honda San?"

"That day…Kyo Kun hurt your shoulder, didn't he? I-I didn't notice and I want you to know that I would never…It wasn't intentional at all. I would never…and I, I never wanted to hurt you. Kyo Kun too." She said dejectedly. "I should have noticed it but… No, there's no excuse. I didn't, and I'm sorry." She bowed low. "Please forgive me, Yuki Kun."

He took a step back in surprise. She was still hung up over this? He didn't know whether to thank her or scold her, but most of all, he wanted to hold her in his arms, and tell her that though it did hurt at first it would never hurt again so long as she stayed by his side.

Since that was impossible, he settled for the next best thing. His slender hands made their way to her shoulders and pulled her up.

"There's no need for something like this between us, Honda San. There's nothing to forgive."

"But—" Her eyes begged him to understand her concern. _I didn't notice your pain, even now you try to hide it. But I can tell, your eyes, they aren't as clear as they were before._

"That was so long ago anyway." He continued, "Honda San shouldn't worry about such things."

She wanted to go on but he clearly wanted to drop the subject. Not wanting to make him uncomfortable, she smiled. It was hard not to smile when faced with a compassionate soul like him.

Even though he was obviously depressed, it had not changed the essence of who he was.

She wasn't worthy of his kindness when she had been so ignorant, however she wouldn't let it go unappreciated.

"Yuki Kun is so kind! Thank you, Yuki Kun!" Her eyes shimmered in gratitude. She reached for his hand and gave it a soft squeeze.

"No. Thank you, Honda San." His smile was genuine this time.

"I'll heat up dinner for you!" She turned and made her way down the stairs.

Yuki watched her go, and then looked down at the hand she had held.

It still tingled with her warmth.

He smiled despite himself_. Maybe there is hope…_

XXXXXX

Wheeee! There's hope Yuki! There's hope! I'm here! I'm right here! As if. TT Anyways, hopefully things will be getting better for Yuki now, still got issue to resolve but hey, Haru's is sweeeeeeeeeet! I love Haru and Yuki's relationship! Sorry for taking so long to post, but I usually do some of my last minute reading/formatting at work, cause when I get home I just head straight to bed…yes I am a lazy bum who's completely addicted to sleep, uh yeah anyway, I got busy at work and never got around to it. The next chapter will probably take as long. FORGIVE ME! GOMENASAI MINNA SAN! I realize that the roof in the manga is totally different, but this, as well as everything else is 90 based on the anime, regardless of how misleading it maybe!

Both Yuki and Kyo's suffered over the years, in different ways. But as a devout Yuki fan, I have always felt that Yuki was more miserable than Kyo, so that's why I had Hanajima say that she felt more misery, it's actually my own opinion, but I'm glad that chapter 84 proved me right!

For those interested, Chapter 83's SPOILER is at the very bottom.

The reviews for chapter 15 were MIND BOGGLING! I LOVE EVERYBODY! XBows to all the wonderful readers and reviewers, blows kisses in the wind while floating in the gentle breeze of happy fanfic writersX. It was a really hard chapter to write and I'm delighted that everyone enjoyed it and thought it was good!

Tsukitani: Xtakes deep breathX THANK YOU! LOL! I hope that what happened on the roof was to your liking my friend! Isn't Haru just darling? And thank you for the lovely wonderful emotional threatening review!

Ssjgoddesschico : THANK YOU for wishing me a happy Halloween! Wow, would you happen to have a picture of that? I'd like to see it! I'm glad you enjoyed it, and there certainly will be a meeting between the two, though not anytime soon. Gotta build up the climax for it! And I'm sorry for the delay!

akitosohma : Is it? I'm actually not very fond of heights, might be cause I wear glasses and am afraid of them falling off my face….er yeah. It was long, but I'm happy you liked it. THANK YOU!

T-c3 : I'm glad it didn't put you off, I had to warn people, though Lisa and my sister said that it wasn't that graphic, but other people may see it differently. Tasteful? WOW! THANK YOU! I'm glad that my story doesn't make you want to vomit, he he and I bow to you, my lovely reader! Good luck to your friend!

hiei-luver45 : THANK YOU for the cute email! And yes it was a flashback. As to Akito doing it again, I seriously doubt Yuki will be an easy victim like last time, I hope! I'll be working on presenting a deeper look at Kyo's kind soul in the coming chapters, so stay tuned!

annenime : Glad things are going well. WO HO Breathtaking? WOW My ego may never recover! Errors? Well in that case I have to confess, I'm such an impatient freak that I kept playing around with it while Lisa had it and so Lisa is completely blameless! IT'S ALL MY FAULT! GOMENASAI! Sorry for the delay, and regarding Sodium amytal, it's a Barbiturate, a group in general replaced by Benzodiazepines due to their serious side effects and now mainly used for anesthesia and as anti-epleptics. So you're right, the two groups are quite similar! I'm not sure about its use with MRIs though, please enlighten me! THANK YOU for caring and reviewing!

Chibi Nightmare-Chan : I swear that I only wrote it after you suggested it, so you get the credit for the idea at least! LOL! THANK YOU!

Caula : Wow! From Japan? Did your cousin buy you anything? I am very interested in knowing how much your cousin resembles my yummy Yuki. I can have him? HAND HIM OVER NOW! LOL THANK YOU for reminding me of my sugar high days!

Jay Jay : Actually, before I got into furuba I was, and probably still am completely uninterested in yaoi or shounen ai, but I can see the possibilities with furuba. But if you were wondering if I will be including yaoi in the story, Sorry, just can't do it! There won't be anything more than innuendo and mild shounen ai; I'm trying to stick to what the anime/manga presented, except for the rape of course! Sorry if that disappoints you but THANK YOU for reading!

Gia : THANK YOU! I'm delighted that you enjoyed it!

XStephieX: At first Hatori was in too much of a shock to actually 'look', but then he went and cleaned it up. It was like he was in denial, all for dramatic purposes. THANK YOU for the compliments! I LOVE YUKI TOO!

Inuyashafanaticlmv : WOW! THANK YOU! And don't worry, about 8 more chapters left so we're nowhere near the end! I hope you stick around for it!

justareviewer, notawriter : THANK YOU ! I was wondering if anyone would actually start crying, cause I was tearing up a bit myself, then laughing maniacally as I wrote the part in the garden! My sister nearly succeed in ending my life cause she thought it was awful! I really had to become Akito for it! I hope you didn't get bad grades though!

Chico : And so I have! LOL! THANK YOU!

Vidanue : AHHHHHHHHHHH! INTI FDIIIIIIIIIHA! FUDIHAAAAAA! YA FDIHTI! Talented, sure! Wonderful, definitely! Mentally stable? You must be thinking of some other talented wonderful sister cause that aint me! And I'll marry Scott Weiland, thank you very much! AH, now everyone knows the kind of brutal love I have to endure. Don't despair sister sibling, you are quite talented yourself! XBIG HUGS AND BITESX THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT! IT MEANS SO MUCH MY LOVELY GUINEA PIG!

Shane : THANK YOU for the compliments. The two may not be paired up, but there will be an awesome confrontation between them soon. Look for it!

sodachan20: Wai! THANK YOU! And I'm sorry for the delay in posting. Yuki is my absolute favorite and I'm ecstatic that you think I'm doing this wonderful character justice! I did hear about chapter 84, and nearly spent the whole day in tears! Yes I'm pathetic but it was truly heartbreaking, wasn't it? I hope to see you in future reviews and thanks again!

Last but not least, A million zillion gazillion thanks, hugs and best wishes to Sohma Risa Chan for reading! GANBARU! I PLAYED AROUND WITH THE CHAPTER! SHE DID HER JOB! I TAKE ALL THE BLAME! LOL!

If Caiti's still around, you suggested that I bring in Ritsu somewhere, and I decided to take you up on that and so, our favorite apologetic monkey will be making an appearance in the next 2 chapters. If you're still reading Caiti, I'd like to know what you think!  
Thanks to Ssjgoddesschico, Tsukitani (You and Shigure…hmmm, we'll see, does have potential!), Hyper Riceball (COOL!), KT (THANKS!) and annenime (Yeah, that's what I'm going to do, I actually have half of Episode 2 written, but nothing about

anyone wringing Ayame's neck, yet!) for reviewing my FB Mystery Theater fic. I'm glad you guys liked it! Ha ha I liked it too! Such a pervert I am so much! I had to write something humorous or otherwise, I'd go crazy with all this angst!

Also to zepenstap and Mizaya for reviewing the Halloween fic.

Until next time! Review me people!

Chapter 83's SPOILER Don't look if you don't want to, it'll probably ruin your day like it did mine……………………………………………………………………….

That CENSOR Takaya, made Yuki say that he wanted Tohru as a mother. Isn't that SICK! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!


	17. An Anxious Place

A Warm Place

Disclaimer I don't own Yummy Yuki or any Fruits Basket character. Fruits Basket belongs to Takaya Natsuki.

A continuation of the anime series laced with some obsessive hallucinations of mine.

_Italics_ thoughts

XXXXXX

Turbulent violet eyes snapped open in the dimness of the night just as the final reflections of a nightmare crossed their vision. Yuki lay in bed, his breathing erratic, shivering under the warm covers.

The bedside clock flashed 3:24 am in the darkness.

How long did he stay in bed, staring at the ceiling as a thousand thoughts ran rampant though his mind? Looking over at his alarm clock, it read 4:19 am.

He sighed.

Once again, he was cheated out of a decent night's slumber. Returning to sleep was not going to be possible; He knew better than to try to sleep after a nightmare.

Yuki headed down to the kitchen for a drink, or maybe to watch some TV; anything to distract him from the agony of his insomnia. In the kitchen, Yuki leaned against the counter as he drank from his glass. The dream had been terribly vivid. He could almost feel the sting of the cut across his wrist.

Putting the glass on the counter, he looked down at the narrow strip of scar tissue running neatly across his flesh. It was a clean cut, the line straight and precise. Yuki examined it with some amusement; even suicide should be neat.

He found it mesmerizing. Running a finger down the scar, wondering, despite his rationale, if he could be as neat again. He walked over to the utensils drawer and pulled out a knife.

_I wonder what I did it with that time? A scalpel? Hatori never kept any around. _

Yuki ran the knife experimentally down his wrist, applying no pressure, finding it frighteningly easy to make the same cut again.

Yet, he couldn't

He wouldn't.

No.

No matter how much he wanted the pain to stop.

No matter how torn and broken he felt, suicide was not the way he wanted to go about it. Haru's words had been wonderful, reasonable. What had happened wasn't his fault, right?

Continuing to blame himself for what happened wasn't very healthy or realistic. He could understand that, but applying such logic was difficult; especially when he often found Akito's less than flattering descriptions of him true.

He shook his head as if to dispose of those negative thoughts. He knew what he had to do. He couldn't allow Akito to steal his accomplishments from him. He couldn't let himself be manipulated forever. He had to get away from the gloom controlling his every move, his every thought. He wasn't what Akito said.

He wasn't…

Denial.

Defiance.

Such a simple notion.

Taken for granted by so many.

But, he couldn't.

It would be difficult to turn away from what you've been told your entire life. What you've been taught by word and whip. When abandoned to the whims of a largely unstable master.

Tempestuous.

Volatile.

Contemptuous.

Irrefutable.

Omnipotent.

When his every prediction came true. When you found yourself alone even when surrounded by others; in the eternal solitude to which you had been sentenced, only able to roam as a bystander. Left out. Excluded. A silent observer. One no more relevant than a stone statue in the park amongst playing children. Inanimate. Cold. Insignificant.

When your curse was not only denial from the comfort of your mother's warm arms, your peers' reassuring touches, the chance to be normal; but to be forever scrutinized and measured, admired and glorified. This so-called prince could never truly be known for who he was, never touched, never comforted...the only hands that dared to feel your flesh were of abuse and blood, betrayal and hatred, despicable self loathing and filth…

And that's all he was…

Filth.

Nothing more than the miserable existence of a filthy coward.

He looked at his reflection in the blade, was it really so easy…?

His thoughts were interrupted by footsteps against the wooden floor. He jumped in surprise at the unexpected intrusion on his thoughts and dropped the knife in his hurry to shove it back in the drawer. The impact seemed exceptionally loud to his ears and he immediately retrieved the knife, put it back in the drawer and slammed it shut just as Kyo walked in.

"Oi!" The Red head called, "What're you doing up?" He asked not unkindly.

"Nothing." Yuki replied, keeping his eyes downcast, then hurriedly moved towards the door.

"Oi!"

"What is it?" Yuki asked, back turned to Kyo. _Please tell me he didn't see the knife!_

"Aren't you even going to put your glass in the sink?" Had Yuki turned around, he would've seen the concerned look in Kyo's eyes.

He put his glass in the sink as requested, relieved that the other didn't seem to notice anything.

"Can't sleep?" Kyo asked casually.

Yuki answered. "Yeah…"

"Drink something like warm milk or chamomile tea, it helps."

Yuki's eyes widened in surprise, did Kyo actually care? No, it couldn't be.

"It's fine. I'll try to go back to sleep now." Before he took another step, Kyo's voice came again, a little uncertain and too gruff to be casual.

"I'm making some for myself anyway—" He left it at that, an open invitation.

_Take it or leave it._

Yuki was grateful for it, though. To try to sleep was to be alone while those frightening thoughts returned, forcing him to the edge of his sanity as he fought to push them out of his head. The insomnia only intensified what always threatened to consume him; Akito. Dark, possessive eyes and words that hit harder than a blow below the belt.

What was worse? To be haunted as one slept? Or while wide awake?

Tonight, he dreamt of cold shriveled hands running across his body, as he lay helpless to stop them. As they traced the scar across his wrist, the wound opened under their vile touch. Dark blood spilled from the cut as he weakened, unable to call for help, unable to help himself, and he found himself plummeting from the school roof, but bizarrely never making it to the ground as he continued falling and falling and screaming without a sound and falling…

"OI! What's wrong with you?"

Yuki's body jumped at the sudden interruption.

"How long am I going to hold this?" Kyo shoved a mug in Yuki's hands. Yuki blinked in disorientation, had he been out of it that long?

Kyo took his own mug to the table and began to sip it slowly, looking over at his cousin out of the corner of his eyes. _What's wrong with him? He's so out of it!_

Yuki held the mug in both his hands and joined Kyo at the table, though rather than drinking, he savored the heat from the cup, finding it comforting.

A trivial excuse for solace, but beggars can't be choosers.

Neither teen said anything. Kyo wouldn't gaze directly at his cousin, opting for quick glances whenever he thought Yuki wasn't looking. Yuki's eyes were down to the table, unfocused. His face reflected heartfelt sorrow.

The silence continued, and though finished with his drink, Kyo didn't leave. It didn't feel right to leave while Yuki had that look in his eyes.

Eventually the deceptively familiar, incessant whispering of faults and disease abandoned the fair teen. He put his head down on the table, lulled to sleep by the warmth between in his hands, and the unforeseen security he felt in Kyo's presence. He spoke so softly that the other nearly missed it. "Thanks, Kyo."

Kyo looked on, stunned at the reaction. _Weird._

_That Kuso Nezumi just keeps getting weirder everyday. Or is it just me? _

Kyo shrugged, then pulled the quilt out from under the table to wrap around Yuki's shoulders.

_Too weird._

Collecting the mugs, he returned to the kitchen to wash them. A thought then crossed his mind, what had Yuki been doing earlier? What had he dropped on the floor? Kyo turned to the drawer in question and opened it, finding various cutleries inside, mostly knives.

_What was he trying to do? Cook?_

He rubbed at his temple in irritation. He didn't know what was worse, worrying about Yuki or having to be nice to Yuki.

Looking at the time, he found it pointless to try to go back to sleep; he had to get up in 45 minutes anyway. Instead, he returned to the sitting room and watched Yuki sleep for a few moments, then opened the Shoji facing the woods and sat down to watch the sunrise.

Thinking back to the last few days, he concluded that Tohru had no knowledge of the rape, Yuki had not told her. There was no way she'd be able to remain cheerful had she known. Yet, whatever had transpired between those two that night left her constantly vigilant of Yuki.

He supposed that it was a natural reaction. He had been privy to the same treatment after she saw his despicable cursed form, however, her eyes were always oddly anxious as she watched the silver haired boy. He hadn't seen that look before. Clearly she sensed the change in Yuki's behavior. How withdrawn he had been lately, how forced his smiled had been, and most definitely, how haunted his eyes were at times when he thought no one was looking.

They had been haunted earlier.

Maybe he had a bad dream, maybe something else…either way, Kyo didn't want to pry nor make it look like he was concerned about anything that arrogant bastard did. He wasn't, not really. Having to be constantly civil to Yuki was grating on Kyo's nerves.

Maybe he should've spit in the mug before giving it to him?

He sighed as his eyes followed the slowly expanding golden rays in the sky. It was unnerving to see the strong semi-content, arrogant, condescending… er, person he had known for the past year or so become so dejected. It made him want to run down to the Main house and strangle Akito for doing this.

Tohru was worried, Shigure and Hatori were worried, Haru and Momiji too; Surely that was enough for Yuki, one of those people certainly could help him. He was no good; he never knew what to say, not like Tohru. He wasn't close to Yuki, like Haru. And besides, Yuki would never accept help from him, the schism between them could not be bridged so easily.

This rivalry and hatred, it was his only constant, his drive to succeed and earn his freedom. He could not afford compassion. Kazuma had understood that, and told him that all he had to do was stop feeling so guilty. There was nothing wrong with some semblance of respect for a rival, right? It would not diverge him from his ultimate goal.

That, he could never afford, no matter how broken that hateful Nezumi was.

He glanced back at his sleeping cousin and felt his jaw clench and his throat constrict, finding himself an ambivalence of emotions.

Why should he help him? All he had to do now was stop feeling sorry for the bastard. Surely that would be enough. Wouldn't it?

_Your feelings will be honest, and that's what counts_.

Yet, those words no longer held the same sense of comfort they previously provided.

XXX

Walking through the dimly lit halls of the inner Sohma house, Hatori returned to the clinic carrying his medical bag.

"Ano…Hatori-niisan?" A meek voice called out from the shadows.

Hatori didn't need to look. "What is it, Ritsu?" He asked, trying not to sound too tired.

Too late.

"OH I'M SORRY! I'M SO SORRY! YOU'RE TIRED AND I'M BOTHERING YOU AND I'M SUCH A SELFISH INCONSIDERATE WORTHLESS PERSON! PLEASE EXCUSE MY SELF INDULGENT ACTIONS! I'M SORRY, I'M—"

Hatori sighed. "Ritsu, It's fine. Did you need something?"

That sent the young man on another round of apologies before he was interrupted, this time by Momiji. "RiChan! Hari!"

"What is it, Momiji?" Hatori interjected before Ritsu could reply.

"I just wanted to see how Hari was doing!" Momiji smiled brightly.

"I'm fine."

The Blonde then deflated slightly. "And I…I wanted to know how Akito was doing."

They couldn't be blamed for asking. Akito had not been seen since Yuki left, and the Jyuunishi were getting restless.

"He's doing as well as can be expected." Hatori replied.

"He's really sick, isn't he?" Momiji asked.

"Yes, Momiji. He's always sick."

"Is he going to die?" Momiji continued. Ritsu gasped at the implication.

"I don't know. It's up to him, like it's always been."

"He's not going to ask to see Yuki again, right? Because Yuki shouldn't have to come back here, not until he feels better, right?"

"Momiji, if Akito does ask to see him, Yuki'll have no choice but to comply."

"But Hari—"

"Momiji!" Hatori reprimanded. "You know better than to talk like that!"

"But, then Akito'll punish Yuki for sure!" Momiji argued.

"What's going on?" Kagura joined in. "What about Akito and Yun Chan?"

"Nothing." Hatori replied tersely and stalked away from the three teens.

Kagura wasn't convinced. "What is it?" She asked the other two.

Ritsu remained silent, but looked at Momiji for a reply.

"Just asking about Akito." Momiji answered quietly.

"Does he want to see Yun Chan?" Kagura prompted.

"No. Not yet anyway. He probably will though, to punish Yuki for opposing him."

"Really?" Kagura looked between her two cousins.

Ritsu was nearly in tears. "It's terrible!" was all he could say.

"Yuki's trying, but he's still so sad. If he has to see Akito again so soon..."

"I know. Haru Chan told me." Kagura ruffled Momiji's thick hair, trying to calm him. "It's really serious this time."

"Yeah. Even Kyo noticed and he's been really nice to Yuki lately."

"Really? Kyo Kun?"

"Yeah! They don't fight as much anymore, and that day, Kyo carried Yuki back to Shi Chan's!" Momiji smiled, "He gave him a piggyback ride! You should've seen his face, it was soooo red!"

Kagura's eyes widened in surprise. "Kyo Kun?"

"Yeah! It was so cute!"

She giggled, "Now I absolutely have to go see Kyo Kun! And Yun Chan too! I've been so busy with projects and assignments but I think I'll visit them on Tuesday! Do you want to come along?"

Momiji shook his head no. "I can't. I have a lesson in the afternoon."

She turned to Ritsu. "Do you want to come with me? You can visit with Tohru Kun!"

Ritsu finally spoke. "D-do you think I can come? I mean I won't be in the way or anything?" He asked in a quivering voice.

"Of Course not!" Kagura replied cheerfully, "Lets go together then!"

XXX

"Ha San" Shigure's slightly static voice came cheerfully through Hatori's cell. "How are you?"

"I'm busy. Get to the point, Shigure." Hatori replied curtly, trying to hold the phone as far away as possible before the oncoming emotional outburst from his wacky cousin. Less than a second later, there it was.

"AHHHHH, Ha San! You're so cruel! I just wanted to see how you were doing, that's all!" The other moaned in a tone dripping with misery.

The Doctor sighed in resignation.

Shigure eventually stopped whining. "Ha San? You still there? Ha San?"

"Unfortunately." Hatori mumbled

"Any updates on Akito's condition?"

"No."

"So he hasn't woken up?"

"…"

Shigure gasped in mock alarm "Ha San! You're hiding something from me! I can't believe it, and here I thought I was your confidante!"

"You were never my confidante."

"Ahhhh! This just keeps getting worse. Ha San is so mean to repay my worry with…"

"I don't know why I tell you anything." Hatori replied, relenting "He woke up and demanded to see Yuki."

The novelist went silent for a moment. "Did he say when?"

"No. He went back to sleep almost immediately."

"Not good Ha San, Yuki isn't ready to see him. He's barely eating and sleeping, if I tell him he'll only get worse!" Shigure argued.

"I don't know how long I can stall, Akito was quite adamant."

"Yuki'll never be ready. His anger helped him then, but now…"

"I know, Shigure. I know."

XXXXXX

Remember the last time I ended with Shigure and Hatori? Something baaad's gonna happen!

Wanted to share this;

"Lick around divine debris

Taste the wealth of hate in me

Shedding skin succumb defeat

This machine is obsolete"

Somewhat damaged, Nine Inch Nails

Isn't Trent Reznor just amazing? No one can portray the aches of broken souls or the ambivalence of self destruction/healing better than him. OK, really depressing, but I like it. It's the ever so necessary 'Turbulent introspection' but without sadness you cannot have joy, or learn to appreciate it, right? So Yuki's actually healing this way…

Kyo is a character whom Takaya blew me away with; I've been re-examining the manga recently (and looking at something other than Yuki for once) and I have to say that I believe he's the one character that has drastically changed. He starts out a real grouch/jerk, making me really dislike him but he's been a real sweetheart lately, not like Yuki of course, but a nice guy nonetheless. Doesn't make me like him anymore cause I am purely Yuki oriented.

Have been in a very Yukiru mood lately, always have been actually, but recent manga developments forced me to confront them with more Yukiru stubbornness and denial through posting fics. GAH! It would've been so much easier for me to write them if I could pair Kyo off with Kagura or something. YUKI X TOHRU FOREVA! DAMN CHAPTER 86 TO HELL!

I know that many of you are not fans of that pairing, but don't worry, this story's going to be different. I won't let my Yukiru muse influence this story, much.

Yes, I did have surgery, Rhinoplasty to be precise. I'm congested beyond repair and my skin tone is a lovely fluorescent yellow as the bruises on my face fade, not to mention the medical tape all over my nose! MY EYES WERE SWOLLEN SHUT THE FIRST DAY! Yeah! So I'm sorry for the long delay, but other than the surgery, I'm wrapping things up in this part of the world and getting ready to move. Got lots and lots of packing to do, gonna be moving mid Jan! Even my computer's gone and I'm forced to make do with my old Pentium 1! And everybody left me…SOB!

Hope everyone's enjoying their break! More characters in the next 2 chapters, so watch out for them.

Just as a note, Chamomile tea's really supposed to help one sleep/relax.

Thanks again to all the reviewers, especially Haruka Hana and ssjgoddesschico.

Akitosohma: Isn't it though? I'm glad you liked the comebacks. THANK YOU!

Tsukitani : Ok OK, sheesh! LOL! We'll see about Yukiru here, but to satisfy your Yukiru soul, read my standalone Yukiru fics. I even wrote another one yesterday, its short but it's in denial of chapter 86's CENSOR! Takaya's a CENSOR! THANK YOU!

DiaBLo2 : THANK YOU!

T-c3: I'm happy that you're growing to like Yuki. I love Yuki enough for the entire world! As for Yuki telling someone, we'll see…he he he! THANK YOU!

ssjgoddesschico : as always, glad you liked Yuki and Haru's scene. I liked it too. It's too sweet! I'm very sorry for the late update; hopefully, the next part will be in a week or so. THANK

YOU!

Gia: Haru's awesome! THANK YOU!

Kelly: WOW! THANK YOU! Professional? Moi? I wish, I'm just a poor pharmacist who should be studying for her board exam!

Haruka Hana : THANK YOU! There can never be enough Yuki! As for Yuki and Kyo, look for a very special scene coming up in 2 chapters, I know you'll like it!

annenime : I hope this wasn't too depressing for you! You should see chapter 85, or 86! DAMN CENSOR CENSOR! Oh yeah, and initially, there were about 8 more chapters planned, but a chapter I was rewriting has grown way too long and I might have to split it. But I think about 8-10 chapters to go (I bet Li Chan's cringing as she reads this). Did you want more? LOL! THANK YOU!

hatorisohma: THANK YOU! I adore Yuki, and even though personality wise, we're nothing alike (I'm more like Ayame), I find it easy to delve into his mind and write. I guess that's what you call obsessed beyond repair! I hope you managed to wake up all right the next morning, if I don't get enough sleep, I can't function at all!

Chibi Nightmare-Chan: Quite all right, sorry for taking so long to update! Yuki will be getting better soon, hopefully, with the help of…you'll have to wait and see! THANK YOU!

JayJay : Well actually, exactly as Takaya portrayed; meaning 'questionable' scenes between Yuki and Haru, Yuki and Akito, and of course, the trio. THANK YOU!

justareviewer, notawriter : I'm quite emotional myself and I thank you for crying with me! Yes! Haru may want more than Yuki can give him, but he also knows when to make a move and when not to. He's so sweet like that, isn't he! I love innuendo! Both writing and reading it, it makes my world go round! THANK YOU!

And finally, many many thanks to Sohma Li Chan who is on a well deserved break! Enjoy it!

Until next time, reviews are eagerly awaited and greatly appreciated


	18. A Treasured Place

A Warm Place

Disclaimer

I don't own Yummy Yuki or any Fruits Basket character. Fruits Basket belongs to Takaya Natsuki.

A continuation of the anime series laced with some obsessive hallucinations of mine.

_Italics_ thoughts

XXXXXX

Back from school, Kyo opened the front door and let himself in, followed by Yuki and Tohru. Just as he took his shoes off, a sudden gust of wind erupted and he didn't even have a chance to blink before he felt all air being cut off…

"KYO KUN! I MISSED YOU!"

"Kaa...gu…ra…can't…br-breath…"

"Kyo Kun!" Tohru panicked at the unhealthy shade of blue the redhead was turning.

Yuki didn't even blink at his cousin's display of deadly affection and continued upstairs to his room, leaving Tohru was frozen in place with utter shock. "Kagura San!"

Kagura's arms loosened upon noticing that her victim had gone limp. "Oh my god! Kyo Kun, what happened to you?"

Kyo was in no shape to reply. It was then that Ritsu decided to make his presence known, discreetly of course.

"Ano…Tohru San?"

Tohru, who would never get used to Kagura's violent greetings, jumped at the mention of her name "EH!"

And Ritsu, of course, took it the wrong way. "I'M SORRY! I'M SOOOOOOOOO SOOOOOOOOORRYYYYY! I'M SORRY THAT I ARRIVED UNINVITED AND TAINTED THE SERENITY OF THIS HOME! PLEASE FORGIVE ME! I'M SO SORRY THAT MY FACE WAS SO TERRIBLY SHOCKING AND HIDEOUS THAT YOU MAY NEVER REGAIN THE ABILITY TO SPEAK AGAIN! SORRY I'M SO SORRY! I'M SUCH A DISGRACEFUL HORRIBLE PERSON AND I DON'T DESREVE FORGIVENESS! SOOOOOOORRRRRRRRYYY!"

Tohru immediately tried to calm him down and assure him that he needn't commit seppuku while Kagura continued trying to revive her fallen love.

Shigure just waved at them, then returned to his makeshift office to give the youngsters some privacy. Well, technically speaking anyway, since he could still hear their conversation from his den…

XXX

Shortly after, the teenagers were sitting at the table while Tohru was in the kitchen, making tea. After ensuring that the newly revitalized Kyo would not escape her vice-like grip on his wrist, a now beaming Kagura turned to Yuki.

"How are you, Yun Chan?"

"I'm fine, Kagura." Yuki replied, smirking at the captive Kyo.

"I'm sorry I haven't been by sooner, but I had a few projects and assignments I had to hand in."

"It's all right."

"I'm so glad you're out of there, Yun Chan! Everyone was so worried about you!"

"Yes, thank you."

"I can't imagine how you must've felt, I mean we felt powerless and it was just so frustrating. I don't know how you did it."

Yuki's smile became strained. As he silently looked on, Ritsu's eyebrow began to twitch at the possibility that it was his lowly presence that caused Yuki's otherwise charming smile to falter. But he could not participate in the conversation unless invited…

Kagura went on, oblivious. "Yun Chan is so strong, as always!"

Kyo, who had been rolling his eyes throughout the queasy conversation, realized where this could go. A quick glance at Yuki's face confirmed his thoughts.

The fair boy's smile was now empty, and he was staring down at the table. "I'm not." He mumbled, clearly upset.

Kyo felt compelled to do something to stop Kagura from making matters any worse, but what could he say? He never really had a civil conversation with Kagura, or any conversation where she didn't do most of the talking.

It as then that Tohru rejoined them. "Sorry to keep you waiting!"

Yuki's mask was immediately back. He smiled at Tohru and helped her serve the tea and snacks.

Kyo watched the interplay between the two, trying to keep his jealousy in check as Tohru suddenly blushed, her hand brushing Yuki's as he handed her a plate.

Any sympathy he felt for the other evaporated at what was, in his opinion, a flagrant attempt at touching her.

She immediately sat down and began chatting with the others. Kyo observed them as he tried to pry his hand away from Kagura.

_That damned Rat! How's anyone supposed to know he's not feeling well when he acts all conceited and disgusting like? Then again, why the hell should he worry Tohru with his pathetic problems?_

Similar thoughts continued to plague him. He had noted a slight improvement in Yuki's behavior since that night, yet since then, Kyo found himself waking up in the middle of the night to see if his cousin was still awake. He was losing out on precious sleep because of that Kuso Nezumi! Not that he cared or anything, but if that damned rat tried to make himself something to drink, he'd probably burn the whole house down.

_Yeah, that's it!_

At school, Hatsuharu had been giving Yuki looks that made Kyo want tothrow up. He wanted to beat some sense into Haru and tell him to take it elsewhere. There was no need for people to see that! If Haru wasn't worried that someone might get the wrong idea, Kyo was certain that Yuki would be. Actually, he wasn't even sure what Yuki was thinking now; spending so much time with Haru lately. Was that stupid cow such wonderful company?

Tohru would just smile and say that Haru was helping Yuki in his own way, and on hearing that, Kyo would wonder exactly what kind of help Yuki was getting from someone who seemed unable to stop drooling over him to actually come up with anything intelligent to say.

It bothered him, how much attention he'd been paying Yuki lately. It felt unnatural. So, why was he still doing it?

_And after all the trouble I went through, worrying and all! Of course, he goes and picks that stupid Haru._

It felt incomplete, almost wrong. Like there was something missing. There was something he should've felt that he didn't. Couldn't.

_A little gratitude wouldn't have killed him! _

Why was he feeling disappointed? Let down? Left out? Yuki and Haru's camaraderie was nothing new. Nothing had changed between the two.

_But, why's Yuki still looking at me with those wary eyes?_

Because, it was him that changed.

_Is this how it's always going to be?_

In a way, finding out about the rape, it made him feel like he was finally in on something, finally a part of something. And even if Yuki had no idea about it, there was a hidden sense of contentment that Kyo felt at the mere idea of helping Yuki.

A sense of belonging, at last.

However, things didn't go as he wished.

That's because he now felt guilty for something else. And Shigure was always watching him, as if expecting him to screw things up; like he was some sort of sadist who was waiting for the right opportunity to mock Yuki!

_I should have never bothered!_

Yuki still looked at him with more than a little skepticism. Sure, it was better than the full-blown patronizing glances he'd always been privy to, but couldn't Yuki tell that he was making an effort?

_I should've never bothered to try to see him as anything else than the rat…he's like a-a tease! _

Or didn't he care at all?

_All he does is draw you in, then throw you away once he gets you hooked._

No, he didn't give a damn about anyone else.

_And that damn cow, he's probably loving every minute. Thinking that Yuki actually likes spending time with him. Thinking that Yuki actually favors him, when Yuki is nothing more than the treacherous rat. _

He never did. Never will.

_The selfish, callous rat._

So, why should Kyo feel bad about this?

_That Rat…_

He found himself getting quite frustrated. _Is this how's it's always going to be? Am I always going to be the outcast? _

Why was he still thinking about this?

_Never belonging anywhere?_

Something he always wanted, that he couldn't even have. Yuki would never let him have it.

_I knew Haru first! _

And the frustration became fury.

_I was his friend when he hated Yuki, when his black personality drove everyone away! _

Why was he dwelling on this, when it was the way things always were for him? The way things will always be, probably. Wasn't he used to it by now?

_Then that damned rat comes along, bats his lashes and pulls that fool in. _

Being alone.

_He took Haru from me. _

Being exiled.

_He took my mother from me. _

Being the cat.

_He took my life from me. _

But he had tried…

_Tohru…_

He looked up to see Tohru watching Yuki as he talked to Kagura; lightly blushing, misty eyed, smiling warmly.

_No!_

A bashful look seemingly reserved for his archenemy.

_NO!_

No more.

_HE'S GOING TO TAKE HER FROM ME! I WON'T LET HIM! I WLL NOT BE ABANDONED ANYMORE BECAUSE OF HIM! HE CAN ROT IN HELL FOR ALL I CARE!_

Consumed by throe, Kyo tore his numb hand out of Kagura's grip and jumped to his feet, shooting Yuki a murderous look before stomping out of the room.

"Kyo Kun?" Kagura and Tohru called out simultaneously. Ritsu was rooted to his seat, terrified by Kyo's gaze. Yuki's initial shock faded into indifference. _He's always hated me…what's new?_ He tried to ignore the way his throat tightened at seeing so much loathing directed at him.

XXX

Shigure eventually joined them at the table and on noting the group's tense mood, began to tell them an elaborate story from the days of his youth. Tohru eventually excused herself and went to seek Kyo out, finding him where she thought he'd be, the roof. There weren't many other places for him to go to.

He didn't acknowledge her arrival, choosing to remain in the same slouched position.

"Kyo Kun? Is everything alright?"

"Everything's fine." He muttered.

"Do you feel ill?" She asked again.

"I'm fine!" He replied curtly.

"You left so suddenly. Everyone's worried about you!"

He laughed at that. "Yeah right!"

"Eh? What do you mean, Kyo Kun?"

Kyo didn't want to explain. He'd already shown her the tip of the iceberg once. But now, the glacier had taken his body over, the coldness permeating each and every inch and nerve. He didn't want to show her.

He didn't know what to feel; he was angry with himself for wanting to use such an opportunity for his own benefit, angry for trying and failing to get anywhere, and finally angry for letting himself actually hope. Anger was the only emotion he was comfortable with, that and hate.

Other feelings would ultimately distract him from his goal.

He had no use for them.

If she knew how he wanted to use Yuki's pain for his own gain, she'd probably never speak to him again.

Though, he couldn't help but do that.

Desperation makes people do strange things.

He hated himself for feeling that way; unappreciated, unworthy, unfeeling.

For letting Yuki do this to him.

Yet somehow, she seemed to understand, and settled herself close to him, studying him for a moment before speaking.

"Sometimes, I feel that I disappear from view, that no one sees me, when I'm surrounded by such wonderful people like Kyo Kun or Yuki Kun."

Kyo's eyes widened in astonishment and he turned to reprimand her for thinking so lowly of herself, but she held her hand up for him to let her continue.

"A simple girl like me, one could say, doesn't belong with such beautiful people, and I believed that. I believed that I didn't fit in and that I was a burden and nothing more. That was when I decided to move to Ojiisan's house. You remember, Kyo Kun?"

He nodded, unsure where this was going.

"But then, you and Yuki Kun took me back. Brought me home, accepting me amongst you, making me feel that I belonged. I was still me, Honda Tohru, but now I was part of a family so wonderful and loving that I can't help but think that it could all be just a beautiful dream."

She sighed blissfully before continuing. "It's natural for people to feel like they don't fit in, or that they're unnoticeable when next to someone they admire."

Kyo opened his mouth to protest that he did NOT admire that Kuso Nezumi, then chose to give her an irritated look instead.

Tohru smiled at his reaction. "It's also natural for people to doubt themselves, their good qualities and the way other others may view them. That's the way we humans are made, swaying in the winds of other people's ideals. But in most cases, those ideals could be nothing but illusions and misunderstandings. We may already be accepted, appreciated and liked, but may never know it because we're busy looking at other people's ideals while they look at ours. To blame others for that, to hate others for that…it does nothing but cause more misunderstanding and push us further apart.

Every person's life takes a path, towards happiness or sadness; life and death, that's the way the world works."

She turned to face him, her eyes glistening with emotion barely kept in check. "So why do we do this to ourselves? Why can't we see who we truly are? Why do we not accept ourselves and each other? Is it because we are made to be so hateful and distrustful?

I don't like to think that we are. I like to think that we are misled. I like to think that what we need to understand what others feel, is to put aside our misgivings and just look around us, take in what others give us, take every bit of encouragement sent our way; true kindness in its purest form, little hints of appreciation, because things like that are a true reflection of what others think. Pieces of compassion, a warm smile, a thoughtful gesture. Little things, Kyo Kun, little things that seem so insignificant that we overlook them a million times a day. But, if we only stop for a moment and see them, or simply acknowledge them, we will finally know."

_Look around me and take in what I see? Here and now, I only see you. _

_Wonderful you._

He held her eyes, searching their depths, needing to tell her…needing to do something, anything but sit there like a love struck fool. Another glance at her now uncertain eyes made the decision for him.

_Too soon._

Instead, he shrugged casually. "Man! Where do you come up with stuff like this?"

"Okaasan! She's the best!"

"She must've been like a philosopher or something!"

"Actually, she always said that it takes looking at complex things with an open mind, and the world will unravel its self to you."

"Whoa!" He scratched his chin. "That's deep!"

She laughed nervously.

"But, it's good." He added, clumsily.

"Thank you, Kyo Kun." Tohru blushed slightly, happy that her mission was accomplished, that she was able to placate his rage and uncertainty. He definitely looked more relaxed.

As they re-entered the house, they could hear Shigure's whiny voice replying to Yuki's police-like interrogations.

"It's too convenient. Seems to me that it was all planned beforehand." Yuki was saying, in an accusatory tone.

"Yuki Kun! Why do you doubt me so?"

"Because it's just like you to pull a prank like that."

"Eh? Can you believe him? He's so untrusting!" Shigure turned to the others for help.

"But it's true, Shi Chan!" Kagura giggled, "It is too convenient!"

Ritsu just smiled.

"Oh, Tohru Kun, My guardian angel! You must defend me from these hateful children!" Shigure moaned and Tohru rushed over to see what the problem was.

Kyo snorted and headed to the kitchen for a nice cool glass of milk. Yuki followed him inside, carrying the tea set on a tray, putting it down on a counter, before exiting the kitchen and returning a few moments later with the leftover snacks; consisting of butter-based cookies, a variety Tohru made well and Kyo enjoyed.

As he watched him clandestinely, Kyo absently recalled that they were a favorite of Yuki's as well.

Yuki's hand went to one of the leftover cookies before suddenly pulling away.

"We left you some cookies." Yuki stated abruptly, before turning to leave.

The Redhead nearly choked on his milk. They had actually noticed that he was gone?

_That damned bastard, noticed?_

_"A thoughtful gesture."_

His gaze darted between the cookie plate and Yuki's departing back.

_"Little things, Kyo Kun."_

_No way!_

_"Little things that seem so insignificant that we overlook them a million times a day."_

_You've got to be kidding!_

_"But if we only stop for a moment and see them…"_

But, what if? Could it be?

_Then, what should I do?_

_"Simply, acknowledge them."_

_Acknowledge? _

Deep breath. "…Thanks."

That seemed to throw Yuki off as well. He froze in mid-step and turned to give Kyo a wary look. But Kyo could not be expected to do any more; he marched straight over to the cookie plate and began to eat. As an afterthought, he threw a cookie to the other.

"You wanted one too." He stated between mouthfuls of buttery delights.

Yuki caught it with ease of course, but continued to stare at his cousin.

Kyo looked nonchalant and wouldn't meet his cousin's eyes. Eventually, the suspicion left Yuki, replaced by a pleasant perplexity. A small smile spread across his face as he examined the cookie in his hand. _Such a small thing…_

He made his way out of the kitchen and up to his room, feeling the knot that bound his heart earlier gently unwind.

As Yuki's soft footsteps continued up the stairs, Kyo allowed a small, thoughtful smile to spread across his features, at last.

_"We will finally know."_

XXX

Ritsu stood by Tohru as she put away the dishes.

"So, how is everything, RiChan San?"

"Things are well, thank you very much for asking."

"I'm glad!" She beamed.

"I-I've been trying, just like I promised you, Tohru San. I want to make my parents and family proud of me, and find the reason for my existence." Ritsu began, "But it's so difficult and sometimes, I just want to run away." He covered his face in shame. "I'm such a failure!"

"No, RiChan San!" Tohru turned to face him. "Everyone has trouble changing important elements of their lives, but if you put your mind to it, you will certainly achieve what you want!"

"I can't! I'm such a miserable excuse for a person! I'm not strong like you, Tohru San! I'm not special like the other Jyuunishi. I have no exceptional talents or personality. I could never compare to someone like Ayame-niisan or Yuki San. All I do is just take up space and oxygen that should rightfully be for someone much more worthy than me." He rubbed at his eyes.

"RiChan San, please don't think so poorly of yourself! You have many wonderful traits; you're kind, polite, considerate and a wonderful person. Maybe you can't see it yet, but I assure you that you will someday. Don't look down on yourself, or your charming qualities!"

"But, what if your bad qualities outnumber the good? What if others only know you for the bad?"

"That's because we allow the good to be overshadowed by the bad. However, in truth, all humans come with both good and bad. The trick is to believe that we are essentially benevolent at heart, that our good is what shines and draws people to us. You're like that, RiChan San!"

"Please, Tohru San. You're being too kind to me. I'm not anything like that!"

"But, you are!" She exclaimed passionately. "You mustn't doubt yourself. Believe in yourself!"

Ritsu remained speechless in the face of her uncharacteristic outburst. "No matter what life throws at you, no matter where you find yourself, no matter what others may do or say; you must never give up on yourself. Things that are out of our hands will surely affect us, but in the end, we are still who we were before. We only need to believe in ourselves and in the power we have. Finding ourselves surrounded by those we care about, and those who care about us, is undoubtedly an encouragement! Our Humanity will surely prevail. Surely, we will succeed if we only believe!"

"No matter how long it takes?" The older teen seemed uncertain.

"No matter how long it takes." She affirmed, "Because in the end, it would be you who has gained that invaluable strength, it will be you who found yourself, your hidden strength. The wait will always be worth it."

"Ahh! You're so wonderful, Tohru San! Such powerful words!" Ritsu's eyes were large and full of admiration.

"Eh! Me?" Tohru blushed.

"Don't deny it, Tohru San!" Ritsu smiled, "To do that would be to deny that wonderful part of yourself!"

"Ah!" She smiled back, "RiChan San is so smart!" she giggled and was joined by Ritsu, making their way back to the sitting room.

"No, it's Tohru San who is smart!"

"Please RiChan San—" And thus begins another round of comity between the two.

Yuki, stepping out of the shadows and into the kitchen from the side staircase, was thoughtful as he considered everything he'd heard.

Was it really so simple?

_"No matter what life throws at you."_

_Even betrayal and pain?_

_"No matter where you find yourself." _

_When all you want out of life, is an end to it?_

_"No matter what others may do or say."_

_When you loathe your very soul? _

_"You must never give up on yourself."_

_Never give up?_

That was her motto. It sounded so promising, so possible. Could he, one who didn't have an iota of her strength or determination, also do this? He had almost given up on himself, and everyone around him. Could he actually face adversity with faith?

_"It will be you who found yourself, your hidden power."_

Deny everything he's ever known? Everything he's been taught by his cruel uncaring world and master?

_"Finding ourselves surrounded by those we care about, and those who care about us, is undoubtedly an encouragement!"_

He found kindness in unexpected sources. Why couldn't he just believe that there were no ulterior motives? Why couldn't he believe that he was without unforeseen motives of his own? That Akito had not corrupted him. That he was human, just like everybody?

_"I wonder why Yuki can't forgive himself for whatever it is that happened, when it's not his fault and when there are so many people around him who care about him and are ready to support him."_

That he deserved, no needed to forgive himself. To accept himself.

_"Remember that we all love you Yuki. Right now, it's all we can do for you."_

The words were as soothing as cold to the harshest burn.

_"Surely we will succeed if we only believe!"_

Liberation from all that has happened, and believe in one's self.

_"No matter how long it takes."_

It wouldn't be easy and it would take time, but he had to believe in himself and in the goodness of others around him. The world wasn't just darkness, there was also light.

He had to find it.

The notion filled him with an unprecedented sense of warmth. He was close.

XXX

On her way out, Kagura grabbed Kyo's hands in hers. "I'll come by again soon!"

"You don't have to!" Kyo replied roughly, tearing his hands out of her grip.

It didn't seem like she heard anything, as she smiled sadly at him. "Yun Chan was too quiet."

Kyo frowned and looked away.

"You probably don't know, but Yun Chan was just like this when he was living at the Main house." She continued, "I hoped to never see him like that again."

The redhead listened as she went on, suddenly perking

"But, I heard that you two are getting along even better now!"

"And who told you that?" He demanded.

She giggled at his trademark temper. "Doesn't matter. I'm glad that you're helping Yun Chan. You can be so nice when you want to!"

"I'm not helping anyone! Nor am I a nice person!"

Kagura giggled again. "Sure you aren't!"

XXX

At his secret base, Yuki watered the new seedlings he'd planted. Giving life to seeds, caring for them, nurturing them. He enjoyed it even when he had been dead inside.

_How ironic._

Being a part of this miracle, this amazing work of nature; it gave him a sense of satisfaction, a sense of self-worth. That these tiny little lives depended on him.

Even if they were only plants.

"Yuki Kun?" Tohru moved up behind him.

"Yes, Honda San?"

She had also depended on him one day, he who had been useless, had been told he was worthless his entire life. The strength that incident gave him was overpowering. He would draw strength from it, even today. And maybe one day, he'd be able to talk to her about it.

_Someday._

"Ah! The patch looks wonderful!"

"Thank you, Honda San. The vegetables should be ready in a few days."

He stood and wiped his pant knees off.

"I can't wait!" She exclaimed excitedly.

He smiled at her and they began to walk back to the house, side by side. The walk was a quiet one. He thought of her words to Ritsu earlier, and smiled inwardly. In his wildest dreams, he couldn't have imagined having such an incredible soul as a friend.

_She would accept me, wouldn't she? She wouldn't be disgusted…_

He glanced back at her and found her studying him; she immediately reddened as their eyes met.

"Did you need something, Honda San?"

"Ah, yes. I actually came to remind you that…isn't it time for your medicine?" She babbled, embarrassed that he caught her staring at him.

Yuki grimaced. She'd been acting as his nurse for some time now. Obviously, it was Shigure and Hatori's handiwork. He hated the many pills he had to take, but anything was better than another attack and another day spent at the Main house.

"Yes, thank you, Honda San. I'll go take them now."

XXX

Hatori entered the clinic to find Akito sitting up in bed, arms wrapped around his knees.

"Hatori." Akito whispered.

"Akito, are you alright?" Hatori hurried over to his side.

"I'm fine. I want to go to my garden."

Hatori's eyes hardened at the mention of the cursed garden. "I don't know where it is."

Akito's sudden laughter was interrupted by a bout of coughing. Once over, he rasped. "That's right. You don't. You're not special enough to know, you're only a cold-hearted dragon. Only Yuki is privileged like that."

He looked up to meet his Doctor's impassive face. "How is the ungrateful Rat? Has he forgotten what he did? Does he think that I'll forget? Or maybe, he thinks I'm dead? He'll probably be happy about that, don't you think, Hatori? He's out celebrating with that monster and the stupid girl!"

Hatori remained silent.

Akito's eyes narrowed in anger. "I won't let him mock generations of cursed ancestry by making peace with that monster and letting a complete stranger come between us!" He shook with barely controlled fury, eyes wild and hostile.

Hatori reached for Akito's hand to take his pulse and found it unusually warm. "You have a fever." He stated as he reached for a thermometer, only to have it slapped away by the Jyuunishi master's hand.

"I said I'm fine! Now, I want to go to my garden!"

"Akito, if you're ill, we need to take care of it first." Hatori began in his usual no-nonsense tone, hoping that the other would agree to being treated. "Going outside will only aggravate your condition."

Akito's anger dissipated as he reached up to caress the Doctor's cheek. "Loyal Hatori." He cooed, "I can always depend on you, right?"

"Yes, Akito."

"Good." Akito's hand brushed through the strands of Hatori's long bangs and traced the outline of his injured eye. "I only do what's best for my…family." He grinned, "It's all for your own good. The family should stay together for all times, we can't let strangers come between us; we have no need for anyone else. Now, I want you to bring Yuki back here, to me; to where he belongs. He should consider himself lucky that I will still take him back after all he's done. He may be useless, but he belongs to me. I will not have that fool of a girl corrupting him against the family any further."

The Doctor tried not to let his distress show. "Let me examine you first. If you are well enough for visitors, then I will bring him here."

A slow smile spread across Akito's face. _Soon. Soon I shall reeducate you._

_My Yuki._

XXXXXX

A happy belated new years and Xmas to everybody!

How did you like my Tohru therapy sessions? Ritsu? Akito?

Funny how Kyo, who's so desperate for appreciation/acceptance, acknowledges Yuki's ever so yummy kindness first…he he

I wanted to delve into Kyo's lost little mind this time. Looking at his somewhat misguided behavior, he really is some one who's looking for acceptance, though basically, he already has it (except from Akito, of course) I could totally imagine him wanting to use the opportunity to get closer to the Jyuunishi somehow. Farfetched? I hope not.

And a lot of people thought that I had Yuki try to commit suicide last time, and looking back at it I guess it was a little ambiguous. But he really wasn't going to. There is something morbidly fascinating about sharp objects (or it could be just me), and it was the residual effect of his nightmare, but he really wasn't. It was just necessary melodrama for a coming chapter, and I won't say anymore about that!

Let's get one thing straight people, I said there would be no yaoi, and only mild shounen ai because that how the actual series is. About the Yukiru, I think people always knew that I am a fan of that pairing, but like I said before, this story will be different. How so? I don't want to give anything away, but think back to what Yuki defines as his desired 'Warm place' and that is where I will be going. This is ultimately a Yuki story, trying to give him the peace of mind he rightfully deserves all while staying in character with all characters. That should tell people all they need to know. I'm sorry to those who were rooting for yaoi, but I had already said that there wouldn't be any characters um er­ 'comforting' each other…in that sense; though I love to write suggestible scenes, but bottom line is that I'm trying to stay in canon. Whew And I end this note with a shout out to Aisha C for her very supportive review! I LOVE YOU MAN

I actually wanted to update before Ssjgoddesschico asked me to but I have been a little sick with some post surgery complications, as well as my own stupidity, so I apologize for the delay.

The chapters will actually be getting longer and longer. Infact, if I was to confine each chapter to the usual 7-10 pages, I would have about 5 more chapters. I hope you guys don't mind

The butter cookies I mentioned are actually my all time favorite sweet (I'm not sure if it's a Lebanese or Arabic treat) called Ghuraibah, but it's just yummy! I buy them by the Kilo!

Once again, thanks to all reviewers! YOU DA BOMB! Thanks also to Li Chan for proof reading!

And finally, get well wishes out to Tsukitani who had the same surgery as me! What a small world, eh? Hope you're feeling better!

akitosohma : Yeah, me too, until I wrote it LOL! And about Hatori, youre going to have to settle this with Haruka Hana who is just as angry with him as you, though I think this chapter didn't help in pacifying the problem…wait till next chapter! THANK YOU!

secretmirror180 : No prob! I'm happy that you did review me though! Haru is just a cuddly lil yummy isn't he? Yuki wasn't really going to suicide, but it was to add to his melancholy, and the story. Sohma secrets? Well, that depends on what my deviant mind comes up with! THANK YOU!

ilukaiba : What do you think? Is he alright or not? THANK YOU!

Gia: Not too bad, thanks. Yes, its quite difficult to keep my Yukiru muse at bay, but like I said, this story will be different! THANK YOU!

pantherzora : Actually, it's also sad that you didn't really read what I said about not writing Yaoi. And I already wrote 3 Yukirus so I am trying to keep the genre alive. Either way, I hope you're still around and will give the story a chance, cause its not going to be like you think. THANK YOU!

NeuroticSquirrel: Um, I'm glad that you like it, but no, I won't be having Kyo comforting Yuki like that…sorry! THANK YOU!

ssjgoddesschico : You too! How was your new year's? Yup, I quite emphasized Yuki's sadness and confusion, but again, he really wasn't going to hurt himself. What did you think about this chapter? THANK YOU!

Haruka Hana: LOL! funny pun! and Kyo, well, he is a little dense, but it was necessary here for a future part, Ah I love myself! I actually just polished off the Yuki/Kyo chapter, and it is quite a confrontation, so look for it very soon. I think you'll like it! Quite interesting guesses, but I won't say anymore! Not too much pain, and the recovery was relatively smooth, until I smashed my nose against the wall…TT but yeah, no Vicodin or anything heavier than Panadol, reviews are quite the pain alleviants (is that a word?). What do you think about Hatori here? I know you have certain issues with his obedience to Akito THANK YOU!

Aisha C: THANK YOU so much for your very encouraging words! It's wonderful to have such a supportive reader like you! I hope that the story flows to your satisfaction. You are an awesome reviewer!

gemmah: THANK YOU!

sodachan20 : Thank you for heaping all that praise! I'm lovin' it! I'm happy you find Yuki's pain appropriate, he is healing, but something like this does take time and I'm trying to be as realistic as possible. There are about 8-10 chapters to go, so does that mean we're near the end? About the pairing, well, things will be progressing for everyone, so no specific pairing as of yet and regarding chapter 86, I actually agonized over it for about a day, then actually sat down and thought and found it not to be as necessarily bad as it seemed at first, maybe I'm in denial, but either way I went and wrote a Yukiru fic starring Haru about it, which I coincidently titled "Wishful thinking" Thank you for your very encouraging words, I'm very happy that you are enjoying the story thus far! And your favorite fic? Get outta here! LOL! THANK YOU!

Shinigami's voice /May: WOWIE! Thanks for finally reviewing me, and I'm still waiting for those other reviews you promised me! Yup, I'm a pharmacist, who should be studying for her board exam (I feel like Godai) Chemistry was hell, stay away from it if you can. Me, I'm just stupid, and lucky that I didn't fail. Yes, sharp objects do have this weird appeal and yes, I adore my Yuki way to much to kill him, besides if I do, then I'd have to change the story title to "A warm musty dark 6 feet under place"

No, I'm not all that fond of Kyo, but writing him is making me like him more. I totally see what you mean about people reading things as Shounen ai, the problem is that Takaya put in a few suggestive scenes in the manga, but that's OK! To each his own! Thank you for your Yukiru support! I'll see about the pairing and I will be waiting anxiously for your Yukiru fic!

No PC at home? Well I'm nearly in the same shoes as you as I'm using a broken down Pentium 1! EL Salvador eh? Yes, I know where that is! Europe? Nope, I'm in the very hot and humid United Arab Emirates, but not for long! I'm going back to Canada month's end! Yeah! Good luck with Uni and I hope to see you in future reviews!

Trickstr : Wow, THANK YOU! I try really hard to stay in character yet give them a greater depth!

annenime : What happened to you? I was starting to worry! Did you get my email? Don't worry, it wasn't anything too serious or personal for that matter! But I'm glad you're Ok and that you're back to the world of fanfiction. I await your wonderful review! THANK YOU!

Karta: What did you think of Ritsu? I hope you liked him. He is an underrated character, but a real sweetie! Yes, even though I'm quite aware that Shigure is a conniving evil man, I can't see him not helping Yuki, well actually since he seems to plan things according to his whims, who knows, but look for him next chapter and let me know what you think. THANK YOU!

And that's it! Thanks to all those who read and reviewed my 3 Yukiru fics, "Fated", "I promise" and "Wishful thinking"!

Next time, Akito's absolute orders, a rift within the trio, and a fatal slip of the tongue!


	19. An Unexpected Place

A Warm Place

Disclaimer: I don't own Yummy Yuki or any Fruits Basket character. Fruits Basket belongs to Takaya Natsuki.

A continuation of the anime series laced with some obsessive hallucinations of mine.

_Italics_ thoughts

XXXXXX

Hanajima smiled inwardly as she watched Tohru walk home with the two Sohma boys. Gradually, Sohma Yuki's denpa was recovering; the ever-present blackness, reflecting contorting turbulent emotions, was now interspersed with soft healing whites and lilacs. She still detected worry in Tohru, and that Sohma Kyo, she could sense the strangest aura coming from him, fury mixed with longing and regret. It was as if he wanted to do something but couldn't bring himself to.

_Strange._

"What is it, Hanajima? Don't tell me you're developing a soft spot for the Prince now?" Arisa gave her friend a skeptical look at her friend. "How many times have I caught you staring at him?"

"I was merely examining his denpa." Saki replied calmly.

"Huh? Why?"

"No reason." With that, the pigtailed girl turned to walk the other way.

"What is it, Hanajima? Did something happen to him? Is Tohru involved?" Arisa demanded as she hurried to follow.

"Maybe. But, you also noticed that he has been a little too quiet. As for Tohru Kun, I can't sense anything other than worry. That, I can't do anything about."

The blonde looked unconvinced. "If there's anything I need to know, you better tell me."

"That, you can be sure of."

XXX

It was as if the belief that Yuki would be back as soon as his health improved, rejuvenated Akito from his deathbed. Within a few days, his cold and fever vanished and he was nearly back to his old self. While still frail and weak, he was never too weak to shout out orders or curse Hatori for letting Yuki go. It was as if the residual effect of his recent dance with death was an exacerbation of his proverbial tempestuous nature.

Now, Shigure had come by for a visit and the Sohma Clan head was only too happy to let them know exactly what he thought of them. Once through with his tantrum, he wrapped his robe tighter around his bony figure and turned to face the two men kneeling respectfully.

"It's been long enough." He declared, his tone leaving no room for argument. "It's time Yuki came back."

Hatori and Shigure shared a quick, albeit worried, look.

XXX

"Now what?" Shigure asked no one in particular as the two stood near the Sohma property main gate.

"Now, we go to your place and tell Yuki that Akito asked for him." Hatori replied.

"Easier said than done, Ha San, especially since he hasn't fully recovered yet and I don't want to know how he'd react to this."

"Unless you have a better idea, I suggest you keep quiet!" Hatori snapped, "Do you think I like doing this?" _It's like feeding him to the wolves._ "I have no choice, and neither does he." He looked back at his cousin and continued in a warning tone. "If you have something planned, Shigure…"

"Ha San, how could you think that of me? After all that I've done for those poor children!"

"This coming from the guy who brags about being heartless and selfish?"

Shigure looked on in astonishment. Hatori hardly ever lost his temper, the Jyuunishi Dragon was one to keep his emotions bottled up behind a cold professional mask. Even so long ago with Kana, he just gave in to Akito's orders; losing his love, his life, his soul.

Apparently, even one who often obeyed without question, would eventually tire of watching those around him fall prey to Akito's whims.

Maybe, it was that Hatori was willing to sacrifice his own life, a despondent surrender to his cruel fate, but not that of anyone else? Or possibly, it was an attempt to redeem himself for failing Yuki his entire life?

"Ha San?" Either way, no matter how true Hatori's words were, there was no benefit for Shigure to gain by handing Yuki over to Akito, none that he could see yet, nothing to help him achieve his objective.

He couldn't be angry with his cousin for speaking what could've been the truth. Hatori was just frustrated with Akito's decision, as always. Helplessness is something no one liked to feel.

_How futile. He can complain about it all he wants, but he could never go against it. Yuki is on his own._

"I had nothing to do with this." Shigure answered in a serious tone. "Nor am I planning anything. I tried to talk Akito out of it, to give Yuki more time, you were there yourself. You know how useless it is to try to talk Akito out of anything once he makes up his mind about it."

The other was busy lighting a cigarette, then quickly bringing it to his lips in hopes of calming his nerves.

"There's nothing anyone can do, Ha San. Our hands are tied."

"Whose hands are tied?" Ayame asked as he approached his peers. "What's going on? I've been calling you two for the last hour! Why weren't you picking up?"

Shigure reached for his cell and surely, there were about ten missed calls from Ayame. Hatori took another long puff.

"We were with Akito." Shigure started uncertainly, giving Hatori, who just continued smoking, a side-glance.

"Akito? I assume he's up and about now?"

"Ayame," Hatori started, looking as he exhaled, wisps of smoke fleetingly clouding his features. "Akito wants Yuki to come back to the Main house."

"WHAT!"

Shigure walked towards his now distressed cousin and put a companionable hand on his shoulder. "We tried to talk around it, but he was adamant."

"When?" Ayame demanded, "When does he want him back?"

"We're supposed to get him now, actually."

"But Gure San, you said that he's barely eating and sleeping, right?"

"Yes, but—"

"That he's depressed, right? Too quiet, acting unlike himself? This can't happen now!"

"Ayame—" Hatori started.

The silver haired man ignored him. "Is that it? Is there anything else you two are hiding from me? Or, are you even telling me anything at all?"

"Wait a minute—" Shigure interjected.

"I mean, god knows what Akito did to him to make him act like that! For Yuki to attack him so viciously, to actually want to throttle him! It's almost unbearable for me to imagine what could have happened; but no one seems to want to tell me anything and I bet that if I hadn't come here on my own, I'd only know about this only when it's too late to do anything!"

"Ayame!" Hatori interrupted in a harder tone.

"Don't you 'Ayame' me! I was trying to give my brother the space he needed before approaching him again! And now I have to hand him over to the devil?" Ayame cried indignantly, "And when do you suppose I'll get to see him again? Better yet, do you think Akito'll let him out of his sight? I will not let Yuki fall apart again while I look the other way!"

As Ayame continued to rant, Shigure frowned deeply. _If you only knew Aya. Yuki probably won't ever forgive us, and it could already be too late for him. _

"Unless you're planning to take Yuki and get on the next plane out of Japan, you're not much in a position to say no to Akito's orders."

"Well then, I guess we _will_ take a little trip then!"

"Ayame—" Hatori began again.

"Damn it! I just want to be his brother! Why won't you let me?"

Hatori, whose temper had been teetering towards explosion since seeing Akito, finally let loose. "It's not us who kept you from Yuki all this time! If you're looking for sympathy from us, you're not going to get it!"

Ayame's eyes widened impossibly. His beloved, venerated Hatori… was reprimanding him?

Looking at him with so much scorn?

He looked over at Shigure, who remained silent as he watched with disappointed eyes.

Ayame knew, he knew he deserved much worse. Even if his best friends had always refrained from telling him how they felt about having to care for his brother in his place, it being such a sensitive topic between them; how did they really feel about it?

About him?

He hated himself, that selfish arrogance that made him look the other way all those times; the indignant self-righteousness that drove him to punish one so young for a crime he didn't commit.

He knew he could never make it up to Yuki, or Shigure or Hatori.

Nevertheless, it was another slap in the face.

He deflated immediately and Hatori seemed to regret his words the moment he stopped talking. Shigure looked back and forth between the two, wanting to pacify the situation, yet could find nothing to say.

What was there to be said?

Hatori wasn't out of line.

Ayame had it coming, for ten years now.

It still hurt all three, the same.

Suddenly, an odd glint appeared in Ayame's eyes and he no longer looked dejected, rather he looked angry and determined.

"I want to thank you both for taking care of Yuki in my selfish absence. But, I plan to relieve you of that duty now." With that, he marched towards the House entrance.

Shigure hurried after him. "Aya, where are you going?"

"To see Akito."

"What? Are you crazy? What if you make things worse for Yuki?"

"I have been refraining from doing anything for as long as I can remember. I can't continue 'not doing anything'! How can I just sit back? How can I live with myself? If I don't at least try, then I don't think I deserve to call myself his brother anymore!"

_I don't deserve to call myself human. _

"But, talking to Akito? You haven't seen him! He's so unpredictable now, more so that ever!" The novelist argued.

Ayame turned to face his cousin. "Gure San, I have to do this. You didn't see the way Yuki looked at me that day. There was nothing there; not anger, not hate, nothing! It was as if he didn't acknowledge my existence! I won't accept it. I won't let things end like that. I have to at least try, because I owe him so much more than that, but it's the only thing I can do for him now."

Shigure yielded to that and looked back at Hatori, who refused to face the two. "I understand, Aya. Good luck, you'll need it. We'll wait for you here."

"Watch his temper. He's already irritable." The Doctor added, still facing the other way.

"Thank you, Tori San. Gure San." With that, Ayame turned and made his way resolutely towards the inner house.

"He'll make things worse, no doubt about it." Hatori mumbled around the cigarette in his mouth.

"Maybe. But, he won't be able to forgive himself if he doesn't at least try. He needs to do a lot to redeem himself in Yuki's eyes, and he knows it."

"When do they get home from school?" Hatori checked his watch.

"Losing faith in Aya already?"

Hatori shot him an angry look, to which Shigure replied with a despondent. "In an hour or so."

"I was actually hoping to pick Yuki up from school, to call him out of class. It would be much easier without Honda Kun or Hatsuharu around."

"Let's just wait for Aya. I'm hoping for a miracle at the moment." Shigure glanced back towards the Honke.

"You can go on deluding yourself. I'm just being considerate to Ayame. Yuki has till tomorrow morning to be here, at most, or Akito'll go get him himself."

XXX

"Tadaima!" Yuki and Tohru called out simultaneously as they took their shoes off. Kyo just threw his off and hurried inside, trying to shake off the ever so persistent Black Haru. Momiji just snuggled closer to Tohru.

Yuki headed up to his room and came down a few minutes later with a notebook. "Here you go, Haru. Everything should be in here."

Black Haru, who was still harassing a reluctant Kyo, evaporated and White Haru took the offered papers. "Uh. Thanks, Yuki."

"Do you need me to review it with you?" Yuki asked, "It's no trouble. Momiji can join us too." He glanced over at the hyperactive blonde.

"No, this is enough. Yuki should be resting." Haru stood up to leave.

"Are you sure?"

"Uh. Last time, when you helped me study, I hardly paid attention to what you were saying. I was too worried, about you."

Yuki gave Haru a strange look. "I'm much better now, Haru."

Kyo watched quietly, trying not to gag.

"Hmm, that's good, but I'm probably going to fail like last time anyway, so there's no point. Momiji, lets go!" Haru reached out to give Yuki's arm a squeeze.

Kyo nearly lost his battle with the gag reflex at that.

"Eh? But I want to stay with Tooohru!" The Rabbit moaned.

Kyo got ready to administer another dose of his noogie medicine, delighted at the distraction.

"Yuki needs to rest." Hatsuharu continued, ignoring Yuki's protests, heading towards the front door.

Momiji pouted cutely and promised Tohru he'd come visit soon. He waved at Yuki and Kyo and hurried out after his dazed cousin. "Wait Haru! You'll get lost!"

"Good bye!" Tohru called out after them.

XXX

Finished tending to his crops, Yuki decided to take a short walk. Making his way through the small woods, he found himself where Tohru had followed him to so many weeks ago. His heart began to beat faster as he thought of her words to him that day. They were almost transcendent, her ability to heal and accept unreal.

As much as he didn't want secrets between them, he could never share his recent discovery with her. At the same time, he desired wholehearted acceptance.

What was he to do?

What if she became disgusted with him and it drove them apart? Or worse, what if she pitied him? Yuki knew that pity from her would be crushing, he couldn't ever handle that. It would be like having someone like…like Kyo pity him.

Actually, that particular notion annoyed him. That Baka Neko had been a bit _too_ passive lately, though Yuki thought it was rather nice; having semi-civil conversations, not being attacked at every corner, the relaxing quiet atmosphere at home.

He never really hated Kyo, what he detested was his cousin's narrow-minded and ignorant assumption that once you were in the family, all would be fine with the world.

"How truly stupid." Yuki whispered to himself, "This family does nothing more than destroy its members. Inside and out."

He walked further into the woods, till he reached a clearing. He smiled this time, this being where he and Shigure had found Tohru's tent almost two years ago.

_How different where things then. How different was I. _

Even with all the mud and dirt, he sat down and lost himself to his thoughts.

Did he want to rewind time? Was it better if he had never found out? Was it better for him to continue living his lie of a life? Was it possible for him to try to rebuild himself, again?

He was so distracted that he didn't notice that a few rodents had gathered to play with him.

"Oi!"

The yell snapped Yuki out of his contemplation, and caused the animals to scatter in fear.

He listened again. "Oi, Yuki!"

It was Kyo. He honestly didn't feel like talking at the moment, but then again, this could be his chance to see if the semblance of a truce they had would continue away from Tohru.

_Let him come._

"I'm here!"

He heard the crunching of leaves beneath Kyo's feet as he made his way over. He appeared at the edge of the clearing, looking irritated as usual.

"Do you know what time it is? I've been looking all over for you!"

The silver haired teen looked down at his wrist, he had left his watch in his room. Shrugging, he made himself more comfortable.

That, of course, further infuriated Kyo. "Oi! Are you ignoring me?"

"No." Yuki replied calmly.

"Then why are you still sitting there?"

"Because, I want to."

"What's to like about a heap of mud?"

Yuki gave him a dark look and was about to retort with a cutting remark, when he realized that Kyo probably didn't know anything about the significance of this place.

"This was actually where Shigure and I first found Honda San, living in a tent."

That got Kyo's attention immediately. "Tohru? She was living in a tent? Here?"

"Yeah, probably only for a few days though."

Kyo was definitely interested in hearing this and found himself sitting next to Yuki. Not right next to him, of course.

"I had no idea…" He began quietly.

"She left her grandfather's house and didn't want to burden her friends. So, she decided to live on her own." Yuki explained, "She talked about paying rent and fighting off attackers with so much resolve."

He chuckled to himself, "Sometimes, I find myself wondering if she's really here, if she really exists. I never imagined I'd meet someone like her, that there were people out there like her."

"I know what you mean." Kyo added softly. _She is unreal._

"Sometimes, I just want to sit here, or stand next to her, hoping to absorb a trace of her determination or willpower. How silly." _Why am I telling him this?_

"It's not." The redhead argued. _Why is he telling me this?_

Yuki resumed staring off into space.

Kyo watched his cousin for a few minutes. _This is my chance, to see if we can find some sort of truce. If I know he's feeling better, maybe then, I can finally sleep at night. _

Yuki remained silent, lost in thought while Kyo tried thinking of something to say, growing increasingly frustrated by the calm.

"Oi!"

"What is it?" Yuki sighed.

"How….um, are you…?"

"Hmm?"

"I mean...I—"

"What?"

_Spit it out already!_ "You're making everyone worry!" Not exactly what he really wanted to say, but close enough.

Yuki turned to him with a strange look. "Everyone?"

"Yeah, everyone! Especially Tohru!" _Not me, of course!_

"Really?" Yuki looked away again.

His cousin's cool demeanor was galling as usual. "Is that it?"

"Hn?" Yuki replied without turning to face him.

"Everyone's worried, and you don't care!" Kyo nearly shouted. _All those sleepless nights, worrying over a stupid inconsiderate selfish bastard like you!_

Yuki leveled him an icy glance. "Don't put words in my mouth, Baka Neko."

"Then at least talk to Tohru. She's driving everyone crazy, worrying over you!" Kyo replied angrily. _You bastard, you don't deserve her concern! _

"What do you want me to say to her? I tell her not to worry all the time! What else am I supposed to do?" _You idiot!_

Kyo's mind screamed for him to stop, that this was not how things should go, but he ignored it and let the aggravation consume him. "Why are you asking me? Isn't it your problem? You don't tell anyone anything and make people walk on eggshells around you. Either talk to someone or stop moping around!"

That hit Yuki hard. _Moping?_ "What do you suggest then, genius? Tell her what a pathetic excuse for a life I've had? Let her in on all the dirty family secrets?" Yuki jumped to his feet and glared down at the other. "How's that supposed to make her worry less?"

"Of all the arrogant, condescending, selfish things you've ever said; this takes the cake! Do you thing you're the only who's had a bad life?" _You arrogant shit!_

"Why don't you just shut up right now and I may let you keep your teeth?" Yuki seethed. _How dare he?_

"What? Can't stand someone telling you you're wrong?"

"What I have a problem with is being told I'm wrong by a brainless idiot who doesn't know anything about anything!" _You don't know anything! You might be an outcast, but you still have your dignity! _

"Oh yeah? Well I got news for you. Your precious family secrets are no secret at all! I happen to know a lot more than you think!" Kyo replied haughtily. _STOP!_ His mind screamed. _Don't say anymore!_

"Well then, if you know so much then why the heck are you questioning me about it?"

"Well, because—" _Stop it!_

"See! You don't know anything, you never did! All you do is talk big and—" Yuki argued heatedly.

"I'm not the one talking big, you arrogant bastard!" _STUCK UP ASSHOLE!_

"Then prove you have a single brain cell! Tell me one thing you know that's actually a fact and not a figment of your distorted imagination!"

_SHUT UP!_ "Well, I know that Akito rape—" Kyo froze in mid sentence, slapping his hands over his mouth in horror. _SHIT SHIT SHIT!_

Yuki's violet eyes grew to the size of saucers. A tremor ran through his entire body, then another, until his entire body shook with the force of the new. He tried desperately to find his voice, "You…how?" Raising a shaking finger accusingly at his cousin.

"Yuki, I-I overheard, but it was an accident! I didn't mean to." Kyo rambled, trying to soothe his upset cousin. "Just listen, I…"

Yuki took a few steps back, looking more distressed than Kyo had ever seen him, then broke into a run.

Kyo watched in shock, then quickly followed.

"WAIT!"

XXXXXX

Insert Kodachi Kuno laugh HO HO HO HO!

I had to do it, it's what evil people like me do! I've got a reputation to maintain here!

I have to apologize for the delay. I moved halfway across the globe and am now settled in Canada, yeah! Hello North America! How does it feel? Cold…very cold. TT

I'll try to update as soon as I can in the future, but I have to go job hunting and I have to study and cook and harass my siblings and so I'll be a bit busy. But I promise not to take longer than a month to update, I know it's too long considering how fast I used to update before. Sorry!

Appologies also for the strange formatting. I don't know whats up with I kept displaying everything as one big block!

Well then, everyone guessed right, it was indeed Kyo who slipped. And poor Yuki! He just wanted to talk….DAMN YOU KYO! How about Ayame's little rant? He he I'm happy everyone like Tohru's advice, I'm not really sure how I come with stuff for her to say, but hey The next part is looooooong, nearly 22 pages! I hope you guys like it, I worked really hard to perfect it to the right level of angst and pain!

Has anyone seen chapter 88? Isn't Yuki just to die for! My heart just stopped and I too thought, "An Angel!"

Thanks once again to the lovely Sohma Li Chan for proofreading! And to everyone for reading and reviewing, you like me…you really like me! T-T

Kativa Chan: I knew you were Chico right away! I remembered your name from that email! Ha ha no I'm not going to kill Yuki! Why'd you think that? I don't think I could live with myself if I did, besides, too many people know where I live now…too risky! So don't worry! And thanks so much for the reviews! Did I ever tell you how awesome you are? No? YOU ARE AWESOME! THANK YOU! Did I tell you that I loved your little Yukiru piece?

Haruka Hana : THANK YOU! LOL! Recreating mother Teresa, eh? Ha ha, as if my ego needed more inflating! Ah I do feel better and it was actually me that attacked the wall in my sleep, poor wall. Writer's block? you know, I've gone through your fic list and I am just starting to watch Weiss Kreuz and Naruto. As soon as I am familiar with the series, I'll read your fic for sure! I've been so inconsiderate, sorry! Oh, and Hatori, what'd you think of him?

Aisha C : THANK YOU! Yeah I made them up! Scary, eh? I'm glad you thought it was sweet, cause the next chapter is even sweeter..in a bittersweet angsty-kinda way! Oh no, thank you! You made me feel ultra special when you reviewed me! My favorite pairing is obviously Yuki and Tohru. Initially I used to say that even as a Yukiru fan, I didn't think that the manga would end with Tohru choosing, but now with all the developments and Tohru leaning towards Kyo in the manga recently, I'm almost sure that the manga will end in Yukiru! YEAH! But I would rather it end as a threesome than Kyo getting Tohru! I can live with athreesome but not Kyoru. I really really don't like Kyoru.

hiei-luver45 : Really? It's helpful? I'm glad. I try to delve into the characters as much as I can, to look at their behavior from a different angle. It's quite tiring, but fun! I'm happy you liked Ritsu! And please don't apologize! Your review wasn't long at all and I love it! THANK YOU!

Shinigami's Voice : Thank you for that great honor! There's always room for you May! Your sister too? Cooell! What'd she think of this chapter? Of the story? Well, I don't want to say anything. Lets leave the outcome of Yuki and Kyo's scene for next time, and do let me know what you think! Yeah, I called Lisa! She is the sweetest person ever! THANK YOU! Btw, my sister was asking, did you guys chat together before a really long time ago?

ilukaiba : YES! YUKIRU RULES! THANK YOU!

akitosohma : Or drugs (at least in my case)LOL! Yeah, doesn't she? I always wondered why it was that Kyoko was a gang member rather than a shrink! THANK YOU! Death threats to Hatori?

Karta : I'm happy you enjoyed it. I aim to please! THANK YOU!

anne-nime : I'm alright, thanks for worrying! What a sweetie you are! You're more than welcome to send me a line when you think I've been gone too long (Aka give me a kick start), I'd love to hear from you! And please, you worry about me so it's only fair that I do the same when you're not feeling well! How's school? Are you in school or university if I may ask? Oh 'Eye of the storm'! Yup, its all planned out...just when the wind stops blowing from one direction, the other side starts. It's what I have to do keep people interested! I left the office when I moved here, but believe me, I will be remembered because Xinsert freaky HanajimaX I did many thing to the office! Many things…LOL! Sorry for worrying you again! THANK YOU!

Gia : And THANK YOU as always! What happened to 'Second Chances'? aren't you going to update soon? I want my head filled with Chibi Yuki images!

T-c3 : No problem! Bu I won't stand for you calling yourself names over something silly like that! I love it when you review me and when you don't, so long as you review eventually! I'm happy you liked Kyo since I know you're a Kyo fan and I'm not. LOL! As for Yuki going back to the main house and beating Akito up…well see! THANK YOU!

animelvr4evr: You know I sounded exactly like you at first so I totally understand where you're coming from, though rest assured that this fic will not have any yaoi in it! And the only thing I'll say that it'll definitely not be Yuki X Kyo. Otherwise, I'm glad you enjoyed the story! THANK YOU!

animelover630 : Happy that an avid Kyo fan such as yourself is reading, but I do have to apologize. As this is a Yuki centric story, most of the focus will be on him. Kyo has been appearing a lot lately though. I actually don't like Kyo at all, but still understand the necessity of his presence in the Furuba world. And I LOVE YUKIRU! YUKIRU FOREVER! THANK YOU!

Babyblu: YEAH BABY YEAH YUKIRU FOREVER! And yes, no yaoi also! Don't worry about the manga girl! Takaya's trying to trick us but we won't fall for it, too many signs are telling us to watch and wait for an upcoming Kyoru disaster Xrubs hands with gleeX If you need help with the chapters, send me a line and I'll help you for sure! Anything for a fellow Yukiru fan! THANK YOU!

Youki no ko : THANK YOU! I absolutely adore Yuki! So I try to present him as realistically as possible, I'm happy that my story touched you that much! But please! Don't destroy your monitor! We still got a few more chapters to go. Besides Akito hasn't been making a real appearance lately (hint hint!) But I shall make him suffer for sure. So you like the innuendo between Haru and Kyo and Yuki? Its nice isn't it? I like it, so long as nothing comes out of it..yes yes I'm weird! Thank you for your compliments, really, you're much too kind. Sorry about the yaoi. But I hope you continue to stick with the story, I promise you that its gonna be good! And I would adore some fanart, especially of Yuki Tohru and Kyo sleeping against each other…WOWIE! Won't anyone draw that for me?

Vidanue : You scare me! Have you been taking notes of my Ayame impersonations behind my back? I don't know if I'm flattered on insulted, but when you read the rest of chapter 21 I'm gonna be flattened! LOL! I do know this! I LOVE YOU MY CUDDLY DARLING! Its always a challenge to try to come up with something extravagant to incite your ever so present rage. Ah, what a tiresome sisterly love this is! I still don't understand half what you said cause my eyes keeping glazing over, so maybe I should start taking lessons from you, ne? Mucha gracias for your Yukiru support, you know exactly how I feel, damn that Takaya! Anyways, Always a please and I'll see you at breakfast, lunch and dinner! WI BALASH FADAYIH! KHALAS BA'A!

Geminidragon : THANK YOU! And I will definitely try to put in more of my favorite pairing! He he I hate Akito too!

Oh and a note to those who read "I promise", a narrative version was read over 4 episodes on Ina Chan's cool J Mix radio show (Mondays 5-6:30 pm Eastern time by Ina herself! For those interested, you can find parts 1 + 2 archived on The remaining 2 parts will be up soon. I hope you enjoy it, Ina did a great job and I enjoyed it immensely, after all it was my story!

The moment of truth approaches with the Cat and mouse facing off for truth, resolve and sanity.

Let me know what you thought!


	20. A Conflicting Place

A Warm Place

Disclaimer I don't own Yummy Yuki or any Fruits Basket character. Fruits Basket belongs to Takaya Natsuki.

A continuation of the anime series laced with some obsessive hallucinations of mine.

_Italics_ thoughts

XXXXXXX

Yuki ran.

_How?_

_How'd he know?_

He had to get away.

_He knew!_

Kyo, of all people.

_All this time, he knew?_

Kyo knew.

_I thought that he…_

His dark, filthy secret.

_That I…_

He'd probably taunt him with it. Use it against him. Tell the world.

_But, it wasn't, they were all lies _

He really didn't know why he was running. But, his brain was currently much to frantic to rationalize anything he was doing.

_Just like everyone else!_

He could've beat up Kyo just as easily, yet the pity in Kyo's eyes…he didn't want to see it anymore.

_He was playing with me this whole time._

He rubbed at his eyes, the trees blurring around him as he ran.

_I should've known._

His chest burned as the anxiety threatened to incite another attack.

What he would have given to have an asthma attack right now. It would save him this time. Even the agony and the fearful desperation for air would be more welcome than this.

Maybe, if he was lucky, he'd die and no one else would find out.

However, all the medication Hatori had him on, wouldn't allow for one.

_Why?_

So for now, he ran.

_I hate him…_

He had to get away.

_I hate…_

Far away.

_I…_

XXX

Kyo moved as fast as his legs would carry him. _SHIT! What the hell's wrong with me? Son of a…_

He moved deeper into the woods, trying to spot his cousin through the trees and the darkening skies.

_STUPID! STUPID! STUPID! STUPID! STUPID! STUPID!_

There was no time to berate himself for the fatal slip of the tongue, no time to think about anything other than the chase.

That terrified look in Yuki's eyes.

_Stop running, bastard! I just want to help. I just want to…_

Not that Kyo knew how he would be able to help his cousin, but he followed, putting on more speed.

"STOP!"

Yuki could hear Kyo calling. _ I won't let him catch me!_ At that he doubled his pace, trying to outrun his pursuer.

"Stop running!" Kyo yelled, spotting Yuki in the distance, "Kuso Nezumi, Stop!"

He narrowed his eyes, zooming in on the running figure ahead. He grit his teeth and called for every ounce of energy in his body. He focused his mind, regulated his breathing so it synchronized with every throb of his burning muscles. Like a hunter in the midst of the jungle, purging all thoughts and emotions, and focusing on his target.

He would not fail.

Too much was at stake here.

Refusing to come to grips with exactly what was at stake here, he choose only to listen to his mind shouting at him to catch up.

_Don't think about anything else, just keep running._

Maybe it worked, maybe it was pure luck, or maybe it was that Yuki wasn't in his best physical form at the time, but Kyo did indeed catch up. The Redhead lunged forward, roughly tackling the other to the hard ground. Yuki gave a yell as he fell, the wind knocked out of him, eyes wide in disbelief and not a little fear.

Kyo wrapped his arms tight around Yuki's legs as the fairer Sohma attempted to get back on his feet.

"LET GO!"

Kyo wouldn't. And every time he opened his mouth to speak, he was silenced by Yuki's knee, elbow or fist.

"GET OFF ME!"

Eventually, he had enough. Snarling, he pulled Yuki down and around, moving faster than ever, pushing the struggling boy down again, locking their legs together to hold him immobile. Finally, he managed to take hold of each of Yuki's wrists in a hand. "Stop it!" Kyo growled, "STOP!"

"LET GO!" Yuki continued to fight, giving Kyo a seething look.

"I'm not going to until you talk to me!" The Jyuunishi cat replied heatedly. _What am I saying? Talk?_

"I don't want to talk to you, now GET OFF!" Yuki screamed in his cousin's face. He was quickly growing tired, his body refusing to put up enough resistance. "I'm going to break every bone in your body, you stupid cat!"

"You have to talk to someone—" Kyo started, ignoring Yuki's idle threats.

"And I should talk to you of all people? You brag to the world how you hate me and want to beat me all the time and now you want to talk to me?"

"I—"

Yuki went on. "Why should I tell you something you're going to use against me?"

That particular statement hit a nerve and Kyo saw red. _He thinks I'd stoop so low as to...just like that damned dog!_ Kyo's grip on Yuki's wrists tightened unconsciously, "Stop talking shit about me! What kind of person do you think I am?" Yuki stopped struggling momentarily and looked up at his irate cousin, with some surprise. "You think I would ever tell anyone something like this! The only thing I want is to get back at that bastard Akito!"

Yuki found this reaction unexpected, however it didn't change anything. Kyo had tried the same tactic before; the indignant self-righteousness, and the sudden desire to help.

_I won't fall for it. I don't want to talk about it! And I certainly don't want his help!_

"So, I'm going to hold you here until you talk." The Redhead loosened his grip slightly as he settled over Yuki's thighs, their legs still tangled together, hoping that he'd get something out of the other before his legs fell asleep and Yuki carried out his threats.

He didn't doubt that Yuki would seriously hurt him this time. Between knowing this horrible secret and gaining a semblance of an upper hand for the first time, there would be hell to pay.

He wasn't worried though, not really. Something distracted him from the risk of serious injury.

"I don't want to talk about it. Not with you, not with anyone!" Yuki retorted angrily.

"Are you going to keep moping around? Making Tohru and everyone else worry about you? You're so selfish, Kuso Nezumi!"

"Selfish?" _Me?_

"Yeah, selfish! Get a grip on yourself. You're so damn emotional!"

"E-emotional! You think I like being like this? How dare you talk to me as if I enjoy being like this?" Yuki's eyes began to burn at the accusation, then narrowed to glare up at Kyo. "You'd never, _ever_ understand what I'm going through. Ever! You're nothing but a stupid outsider and I don't know why I even bother talking to you, you jerk!" _How dare he?_

"Let me go! You're going to be so sorry, I promise you!" He resumed his effort to get loose in earnest.

"No, wait! I didn't mean that you… Damn. STOP THAT!" Kyo struggled a bit with his cousin, trying to ignore both the guilt and delight he felt at seeing Yuki so hurt by his words, for breaking through Yuki's impassiveness. "You know that I've got the upper hand here, so you better stop fighting and start talking!"

"I. Don't. Want. To. Talk!" Yuki kept trying to pull out of Kyo's grasp.

"I said I didn't mean it like that! I shouldn't have said it that way." Kyo started, looking a little nervous. "Hey, Um. I know that this isn't easy—"

"You don't know anything, Baka Neko!" Yuki spat.

"I know that!" The redhead replied angrily "But, it doesn't mean I can't help!" _Maybe this is a good time to shut up, since I don't have a clue on how to help him. _

"Help? How can _you_ help me?" Yuki echoed Kyo's thoughts, though much more sarcastically. "You don't know a single thing about me, or anything else for that matter. You're just an idiot! I don't know what made you act the way you did that day at the clinic, but I'm not going to fall for your stupid act. You're probably trying to get me to put my guard down so you can finally beat me!"

"Is-is that what you think? You think I'm doing this just to beat you?" Kyo's voice was slick with hurt. _I've had enough of this! People questioning me left and right. Judging me. Even now when I'm trying to-to—_

"Cause if I wanted to beat you I'd do it RIGHT NOW WHEN I'VE GOT YOU IN MY GRASP LIKE THE RAT THAT YOU ARE!" And all traces of hurt evaporated and were replaced by full blown fury.

The fair Sohma was unimpressed though, and continued to glare up at his captor. _He finally shows his true colors._

Kyo closed his eyes, trying to reign in his rage. _I will not hit him I will not hit him…_

Maybe he should just walk away, it would be so easy to do just that._ Leave that damned ingrate to deal with his own problems since he doesn't seem to need or want my help! _

That voice inside his head, the one that made itself known the moment Kyo walked into that clearing, refused to let him though.

It begged him to stay and try again.

Why was he still listening to it?

_Here goes nothing._

"I'm not like that." He said, staring his cousin in the eyes, trying to dispel Yuki's suspicion. "I told you that already. I won't take advantage. I'm not a bastard like Akito, who preys on people's weaknesses." He continued in tight voice, "I told you that I wanted to beat Akito… for everybody. And I do know you, I know the bizarre way you think and I'm—"

"You don't know anything!"

"You're always walking around like a zombie, and doing strange stuff! Anybody would figure it out!"

Yuki chuckled morbidly, "I think I got you all figured out, not that there was that much to you!"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Kyo growled. _You arrogant shit!_

"It means, Baka Neko, that you were acting just like an animal, stalking your prey! Did it make you feel tough? Did you think that I'd fall for your pathetic tricks?"

"You damned ingrate! That's the thanks I get?"

"I didn't ask for your help! When are you going to get that through your thick head?"

"Well, maybe I'm not doing this for you!" Kyo retorted in frustrated anger. "Maybe all I want is some peace of mind! I'm sick and tired of everything revolving around you and everyone talking about you like you're some kind of fragile little girl! Maybe I don't feel like having to reassure Tohru that you're fine every ten minutes, or watch that stupid cow Haru drool over you! Maybe, I don't want you to burn the house down while everyone's asleep!"

_I don't want to feel like I let you down. I'm sick of feeling guilty for something I didn't do._

"Burn the house down?" Yuki's eyebrows drew together delicately.

"You waking up in the middle of the night to cook! I saw you that night. When are you going to give up trying anything in the kitchen? Or maybe, you really do want to be a housewife and then of course, no guy would marry you if you couldn't make a decent meal!" Kyo chuckled, waiting for the explosion.

_He thinks I was trying to cook? What an Idiot!_ Normally, Yuki would have jumped at the opportunity to put the Jyuunishi cat and his thinking down, but now, he found it such a relief that he ignored the comments about housewives. He considered the predicament he was in.

How was he going to get away?

Why was Kyo still here? He didn't care, so what was he doing here?

He couldn't care, right?

Kyo wouldn't be fooled by his adversary's uncanny calm. _Something isn't right_.

He eyed his cousin critically. "Say, what is it?"

"An idiot is holding me down in the middle of nowhere, spouting absurdities! What did you think, Baka Neko?"

"You're hiding something." Kyo continued, suspicion clear in his tone. "What is it?"

"Spare me your antics, Baka Neko, and let me up!" _What? How did he…?_

"You're not fooling me with that superior act! I can tell you're hiding something!"

"Oh! So the cat finally gets a brain! But even so, you're still a stupid worthless cat!" Yuki retorted, trying to steer the redhead away from the topic through fury. "You'll always be one and—"

"I'm not falling for that!" Kyo barked, "You better tell me what you're hiding, Kuso Nezumi!"

"Or what, Baka neko?"

"I'm going to hold you here until you tell me. Don't underestimate me, I'll do it!"

Yuki's eyes widened for a second before resuming their glaring. What the hell had happened to the previously foolish narrow minded, and self-centered Kyo? Why was he able to pick up on something Yuki worked years to perfect, absolute impenetrability?

He had to piss him off, seriously. "I guess it was only a matter of time before your profanity got the better of you, holding me down like this! Apparently, you never were worried, it was always something else, wasn't it Baka Neko? All this talk about how I look and bad mouthing Haru, Shigure and Niisan when…"

"Now I'm sure you're hiding something! You would never talk about you and me that way. Spill it, Kuso Nezumi!"

"I have nothing to say to you, Baka…"

"SPILL IT!"

"I don't know what you're talking about!" Yuki nearly screamed, frustrated by Kyo's persistence. _Just leave me alone, please! Anything but this! _

XXX

Tohru headed out to the secret base. "It was so nice of Kyo Kun to volunteer to call Yuki Kun in when it was getting so late! But, why haven't they come in yet?" She wondered out loud. "Maybe Yuki Kun needed some help with his gardening? I hope they're not fighting, they've been getting along so well recently."

Tohru quickened her pace, scanning her surroundings for a sign of the boys.

XXX

"Gonna be stubborn, eh? Fine! Be that way, I'll figure it out myself!" Kyo smirked. _Can't be that hard!_

"Go ahead, Baka Neko. Make me laugh!" Yuki retorted haughtily._ He won't figure it out, he's too stupid. He's too stupid… _

"Let's see now." Kyo shifted a bit, trying to keep the blood circulating in his numbing legs. "What was I talking about?" He thought out loud.

"The Baka Neko actually thinking! I never thought I'd see that. What a useless brainless cat!"

Kyo glared down at his cousin, trying not to react to the insults. _Don't let him get to you…don't let him get to you…_

"Oh yeah! I was talking about cooking…"

Yuki could only watch in horror, hoping that it didn't show on his face. He opened his mouth to speak, but his drying throat wouldn't let the words out. His mind froze with dread and everything seemed to be happening in slow motion.

"But you weren't cooking, were you? You said so yourself! So what were you doing then?"

Yuki could feel the blood rush to his ears…

"With cutlery…"

His heart hammering harder…

"…in the middle of the night?"

Tears of frustration began to well up in wide violet eyes.

Kyo was stunned at the nervousness reflected in his cousin's eyes and he knew he was on to something. _Arrogant bastard, I'll show him. Trying to hide god knows what from me!_ Something inside him rejoiced at being the cause of such a reaction out of the usually composed Sohma.

_He looks shit scared! What could be worse than me finding out he was raped?_

Something else warned Kyo that another secret would be too much for him, maybe it was better not knowing anything else. Yet, stubbornness and macho pride superceded everything. This was his chance to prove to Yuki that he wasn't stupid, that he would not be dismissed.

Kyo strained his memory; all while Yuki recommenced his efforts to get loose. "Stop. Stop it!" Kyo said absently. _Cutlery? What could be so bad about a bunch of spoons and knives?_

XXX

The base was abandoned. Tohru looked around in confusion. _Where could they be?_

She decided to look further ahead. As she walked, she could hear voices in the distance. Focusing on the sounds, she recognized Yuki's and Kyo's. A wide smile adorned her face as she hurried over, the voices becoming clearer with each step.

XXX

_…knives?_

Kyo's fuzzy vision suddenly focused as he felt his heart stop beating for an impossibly long moment.

_KNIVES?_

"Oh my god!" The redhead looked down at his now teary-eyed captive, "Y-you. You were…!"

Yuki met his cousin's stunned eyes, trying to hold his tears back, his head shaking slightly in a 'no' motion.

It was all the proof Kyo needed.

_BASTARD!_

"You were going to kill yourself!"

"No! I-I wasn't, I swear!" Yuki retorted, flustered. _I wasn't!_

"You bastard! How dare you try to kill yourself?" He shook his cousin roughly. _How dare you even think about it?_

"I said I wasn't going to!" Yuki replied heatedly.

"Then why'd you hide the knife?"

"Because, I knew that you'd think something like that!"

_He didn't deny it!_

"YOUR'E EVEN STUPIDER THAN I THOUGHT! SUICIDE?" Kyo shouted.

XXX

Tohru froze in mid step; smile stupidly plastered on her face.

_What? _

XXX

"It's not like that!" Yuki snapped, "You don't know what you're talking about!" _I wasn't!_

"YOU LIAR!" Kyo barked, furious.

"Shut up!"

"YOU SHUT UP, YOU COWARD! DID YOU EVEN THINK WHO WAS GOING TO FIND YOUR SCRAWNY BODY?"

"SHUT UP!"_ Don't act like you care! I wasn't going to!_

"I'm not going to shut up, not when I'm talking to a selfish asshole! You stupid little…what did you think you'd accomplish?" He snarled, trying to keep his voice steady. _Damn you. _

_Damn you for even thinking about it!_

XXX

_Oh my god! Yuki Kun tried to…?_

She felt numb, sapped of all her strength as she slumped to the ground, eyes wide and mind blank.

XXX

"Nothing! I said I wasn't going to!" The silver haired boy protested, but the tears escaping his eyes said otherwise. "I swear!"

_Why should you care?_ _You should be disgusted!_

Kyo felt drained of all energy. He wanted to break Yuki's wrists, and every other bone in his body, to put him in the hospital where he wouldn't be able to pull another stunt like that. Ever.

"I-it was stupid." The silver haired Sohma continued in a quivering voice. "But I swear, I wasn't going to!"

"Really? It never even crossed your mind?" Kyo demanded, dubious of Yuki's protests.

"I…"

XXX

Tohru couldn't listen anymore. She had to get away. She didn't want to hear anymore. _Oh god, Yuki Kun! How? How could you? With that smile on your face? All this time…Why didn't you talk to me? Why?_ She sobbed. _Why?_

She turned, intending on crawling away if she had to. This wasn't happening, not Yuki. Not him. She was dreaming, this was a dream...No, a nightmare!

He'd been this miserable! This alone and desperate. How could she have missed this?

She could've lost him!

She kept on crawling until she found enough to stand on her wobbly legs.

Kyo's livid voice still rang clearly in the woods, as did Yuki's, weakly denying the accusations.

Tohru gasped, hot stream of tears blinding her vision as she stumbled back towards the house and then up to her room where threw herself on the bed.

_Yuki Kun. _

_Why?_

XXX

Back in the woods, Yuki and Kyo were oblivious as they argued.

"See! Don't you dare lie to me!" _How dare you even think of doing this to us?_

"I already told you I wasn't going to do anything, so stop lecturing me like you care or something!"

Kyo chose to ignore that, "Then what the hell were you doing?"

"Nothing, I-I just—"

"Just what?"

"How I made—" Why was he still talking about this? To Kyo?

"Made what?"

"Nothing, forget it."

"I won't! Talk!" Kyo commanded.

The two glared at each other, one for truth and the other for discretion. In past similar battles, Yuki was always victorious. His cold condescending glare was of nearly no equal. Kyo usually just got mad and resorted to violence.

Why should this time be any different?

"MADE WHAT?"

Yuki knew it was pointless. If Kyo wasn't restraining him, this encounter would've ended long ago, but Kyo was superior in sheer brute force. He knew better than to try to break out of that iron grip.

And better than to try and hide anything else, so why not tell him? He knew everything else anyway…

A part of him desperately wanted to talk to somebody about it before he went insane.

He sighed, then waved one of his hands slightly within Kyo's strong grip "...that." He said quietly.

"What?" the other looked down at the hand he was holding. _I don't see anything._ He trailed his hand down Yuki's forearm, so he could examine his wrist, squinting so he could see in the moonlight. He found a nearly imperceptible line of white scar tissue against the almost unreal paleness of skin.

"Shit." He ran his thumb down the mark, "When the hell did you do that?" He asked quietly.

Yuki closed his eyes as if in defeat, "Right after it happened."

Boiling point.

"Damn you! You were going to do it again?"

"I said, I wasn't going to!" Yuki replied indignantly, eyes snapping open with barely contained emotion.

"Stop denying it, you liar!"

"I should've known you'd be stupid!" Yuki cried, "I should've known better!"

_Why in the world did I think for a second that he'd understand anything? How could I let my guard down this much? How could I have believed that anyone would ever understand?_

"Don't you think we all suffered too? Why the hell would you want to be a coward? You know what? You might've told Akito off but you're still living in his shadow. I bet if he asked for you, you'd be there in a flash cause you're scared shitless to do a damn thing about your life!"

"What life? You call this a life? Even my life isn't mine. I don't live for myself, I live for other people! I live so Akito can torture me and my mother can pick up her pay cheque and brag about me, so Hatori and Shigure can feel better about themselves; and my brother can have a chance at something other than selfishness!"

Kyo was unfazed by the other's outburst. "So what? It's what you got! Are you going to let other people run it for you? You're just full of shit! You know what? You're so dense that you can't even appreciate what you have. Whose life do you want? Mine? Hatori's? Momiji's? Tohru's? Name one person you know that hasn't suffered in one way or another?" _You spoiled brat! _

Yuki ground his teeth, seething. "So just because everyone else is unhappy, that's supposed to make it all right? It's supposed to make what happened all right? So, I should forget and disregard everything that happened to me? My entire life was only about watching the world pass me by. No one ever cared, no one ever bothered! You all had someone there for you, you had the entire world around you! Even if it was just for a second, I would've given anything, anything to have just _one_ second of normalcy, even if it was false!"

The words just kept on coming, and he kept choking on them. "Do you know when my life started, Kyo? The moment I got out of that house, and not even truly then! Everything before that was nothing but misery! So this life you're talking about, I never had it!"

Kyo found himself in a bind; he hadn't expected that out of Yuki. He hadn't really cared to know. Even now, he'd rather not know. He didn't want to know that all those assumptions he had about Yuki living the good life at the main house could be wrong. It made dealing with his cousin all the more difficult.

There's no way that Yuki suffered like he did! He's the damn rat! _He must be exaggerating! It couldn't have been that bad, he's just a spoiled brat! _

Yuki kept ranting. "So I'm the Jyuunishi superior, so what? What did I get out of that? Nothing! I never got anything other than abuse and neglect, so don't you dare compare anyone to me. You don't know anything about me, don't ever assume that you do because had you known anything, you wouldn't have hated me just for being cursed with the Rat. You would've known that I was just as miserable as you! But, it's all about you, isn't it? Your pain! Your suffering! Your curse! It's you who forgot that everyone else is cursed! It's you who's always wallowing in self-pity, never acknowledging the awful things that happen to others, never appreciating the good things you've had that I could only dream about! Damn you, you stupid selfish ungrateful idiot!"

_I'm not going to cry. Don't you dare cry in front of him!_

"Huh? Wait a minute!" Kyo shouted, panicking._ What the hell?_

"Shut up! I don't want to hear anything you have to say!" the other retorted. "Now, let me go!"

"I…" _I didn't mean…_

"You what? Feel bad? Don't bother, I don't want anything from you! Not your help and certainly not your pity!"

"But I—" _Not pity, I don't pity you, I hate you! _

They struggled for a few moments, until Kyo regained the upper hand. Yuki, not being able to do anything else, unable to get away, turned his face away, so Kyo wouldn't see the tears threatening to leak out of his eyes, so he wouldn't see the sympathy in Kyo's eyes.

His breathing hitched again with barely contained sobs.

"I…" the redhead started again, hesitant. Uncertain.

"Just go away." Yuki replied quietly, too weary for anything else.

_Why? Why did I think that he'd understand? How dare he? Pity…anything but that. _

_Anything._

It was as if the entire world just went silent. The crickets chirping in the distance, the sounds of nearby traffic. Everything just stopped and Kyo couldn't hear anything anymore. The silence was deafening, and terrifying.

Something he saw in Yuki's eyes before he closed them, scared him. He unconsciously let go of Yuki's wrists, but couldn't bring himself to do anything else. He was torn between wanting to punch the other in the face for calling him all those names, and was a little more than shocked at Yuki's outburst.

But it couldn't have been like that Kuso Nezumi said! His mother was alive, that was a good thing, right?

_No, apparently his mother gave him to Akito. I don't think a normal mother would give her child up for money. _

But, he was the Rat! Wasn't that something?

_No, Akito put him through god knows what just for being the most important Jyuunishi._

He was admired and trusted by everybody, right?

_How did he feel about the way people looked at him? He never has a moment of piece at school, he has to live up to everyone's expectations. _

_I want to be someone like that, but without all the expectations…_

Yuki could've easily gotten away, but all this arguing left him exhausted. He felt drained. He put his head back against the cold ground, letting his body go slack, closing his eyes, wishing that he could just disappear. Kyo had forced him to remember things he had long since buried; he couldn't deal with everything now, he was just too tired.

_Damn that Stupid cat._

_Damn it…_

Why won't he just go away?

The two just stayed there. Kyo racking his brain for something to say, his mouth moving, but no words would come. Yuki's face, the grief in his eyes, it had been so real. So close.

Could things really have been that bad for him?

The other suddenly shifted underneath him, and pulled himself up, keeping his upper body turned away as he waited for Kyo to move off his legs. An unspoken order to release him.

He still wouldn't say anything.

The silence seemed like a judgment.

He had failed to do anything other than to further hurt Yuki, and he would pay.

A sense of impending doom was crashing upon him. He had screwed up big time. What was he thinking? Trying to talk Yuki out of feeling sorry for himself? He never knew what to say, ever! And now, he was the reason that look returned to Yuki's eyes; that fragile, desperate and dejected look.

Why the hell did Yuki have to tell him anything?

Why couldn't he just let things be?

How could he be so stupid?

Why the hell did he have to get involved?

Once again, that part of him, the one that had been controlling him all this time, gave him the answer.

Kazuma had said something about more distinguished feelings than pity, but what his father didn't realize was that Kyo always had those feelings for Yuki, buried deep beneath the anger and hate. And it wasn't just envy. One couldn't help but respect Yuki for everything he represented, and everything he did.

One would have to be blind not to see Yuki in a different light than everyone else.

Kyo wanted that; he wanted the admiration and respect, he wanted the cunning diplomatic mind. He wanted Tohru to stare at him, blushing all the while.

Those thoughts sickened him.

Wanting to be like Yuki, yet hating him for all he was.

He didn't know why he went after Yuki, or even cared what happened to him, when Yuki was a fool; an arrogant, selfish fool who was more concerned about himself than hurting those around him.

No, he knew the answer to that one too.

He slowly eased off Yuki's legs, watching for a reaction. Yuki retracted his legs slightly, his body jolting slightly; signifying that his legs were asleep.

There was still time left, it didn't have to end like this.

This was his chance.

Though he had found out by accident, Yuki _chose_ to tell him. He chose to show him the scar, to show him that vulnerable face that night at the clinic. Why? Why had Yuki shown that side to him? Wasn't he afraid of rejection?

Did he actually trust him?

_"We all have to stop running away."_

Kyo had to stop running away from that part of himself. The part that envied Tohru and Haru for being the ones able to make Yuki smile, the one that wanted to break something every time that sad look was reflected in Yuki's eyes, the part that compelled him to stay up all night, waiting to make Yuki Chamomile tea again; the part that wanted to tear Akito to bits for daring to hurt Yuki.

The part that cracked every time Yuki glared at him, the part that yelled in defiance every time he picked a fight, the part that was crushed with every punch he threw towards that perfect face.

The part that he thought had died with his mother. The part that always said not to blame the Rat, whoever he was.

The part that cried with Yuki on that rainy night when he thought no one would ever look at him again.

It was the same part of him that ached for acceptance, a sense of belonging, and an escape from an inevitable imprisonment.

It was the part that made him human.

It was what made him follow Yuki, it throbbed with the need to help. It wanted release from the never-ending hate.

He always hid it. It was too fragile; too soft and delicate to expose. Maybe one day, it would be strong enough to withstand his other conflicting emotions. Maybe it would even overcome them, if he ever accepted his past.

He glanced over at his distraught cousin, who's face remained downcast.

Kyo had to fix this, and if he didn't say anything now, Yuki would never ever let him in again; they would never be anything other than the cat and mouse.

He didn't want to be an animal, he was human.

So was Yuki.

The guilt was killing him. He'd been feeling that way ever since he found out. He watched Yuki ever since, trying not to react to Yuki's clear depression, forcing himself to look the other way. He thought that he'd feel better if he yelled, if he confronted Yuki and told him what he thought of him.

But now, he just felt low, and twice as guilty.

_I just want to stop feeling this way! _

If he didn't say anything, he would never forgive himself.

So, he took a deep breath, and let that part take over.

"My mother…she said that we could've been happy had I been born the Rat. Had I been born you, and I can't help but wonder if it would've been the way she thought it'd be. If we could've been happy that way.

I was so young. I didn't understand anything other than that my mother was scared of me, and wanted me to be someone else. She tried so hard to look past it, but in the end, she couldn't take it. She tried so hard to love me, but couldn't get past her fears.

Everyone looked at me like I had killed her, like I had her blood on my hands. Like I was a monster. And the man, who was supposed to be my father, he…"

_'It's not my fault, it's not my fault…'_

Kyo inhaled sharply, the sentiments he felt were so overpowering. However, he didn't stop. He couldn't stop; the words were aching for release. Having been long since sealed.

"I couldn't even cry, hearing those people around me; judging me, shunning me, loathing me. I had my anger; I had to avenge the mother who tried so hard to love me.

You, beating you, hating you, that's what I had to drive me. The only thing to keep me sane."

_'I'll never forgive you! It's all your fault! You shouldn't exist in this world!'_

_The only way I could forgive myself. _

"I had to have it, that anger, it kept me sane. It kept me from everything else. I had to fight for what I wanted; defeating you and gaining a place amongst the others, to stop being the reject. I didn't want to be the monster cat anymore."

_"So my little monster, how does our bet fare?"_

Yuki glanced over at Kyo. Why was he talking about this? Did he finally realize that it was all stupid and pointless?

Did he actually pay attention to what he was saying earlier? Did he realize that he was a hypocrite?

"Being accepted by the others, forcing Akito to accept me, I needed that so much. Because being an outcast, this loneliness, I hated it, I didn't want it. It scared me so much. I needed to watch the world through Jyuunishi eyes.

But now, I realize that this whole time, I was accepted, wasn't I? Everyone, the Jyuunishi, they've always been kind to me, mostly. I had Shishou too, though I didn't see it that way. I thought that if I didn't have Akito's approval, I would forever be the outsider, always alone, that I had nothing. But, I couldn't expect anything from that bastard Akito; I can't expect anything from him. Akito, he just manipulated my hate. This game he was playing with me, still playing with me; deep down I knew what he was doing but I couldn't risk it, I can't risk it. I wanted to be included in the circle because the way he looks at me, it's so awful and cold. Like I'm not even human."

_'I'll visit you, so you won't be lonely.' _

"I had to win…I have to. The desperation made me so mad, and blinded me to everything around me. I didn't purposely ignore things, but to me, they were insignificant if they didn't relate to me. It's selfish to think that way, but I couldn't help it.

I want to win, but deep down, I know that it won't change anything. Akito's too much of a bastard to actually let me win. And the price I'd have to pay winning—"

_Beating you. Could I even do it? _

"I'm not sure about anything anymore. It's just so frustrating." He ran his hands through his sweaty locks. And suddenly came to a realization.

_What would Akito do to you if you lost?_

_Is it even worth it anymore?_

"You're right, though. I did forget about everyone else's problems, and everyone else's pain. Your pain, to me was unreal, an act. Because my whole life, I envisioned you living like a king, with your family around you and Akito hovering over you like a…"

_Leech._

"I ignored it because I didn't understand it, didn't want to understand it. To know that you were like me, no, much worse off than me…. Being alike, in that sense, I don't understand it. It makes no sense. Why is it that way? Why isn't the Rat happy? Why isn't he surrounded by people to wait on him and serve him and love him?"

_The Rat should never be anything but happy, that's why he's the beautiful traitor. _

"Because you assume that I would automatically get standing and position because of my Jyuunishi form. I did, but it didn't protect me from Akito. It doesn't mean anything really, it never did. This curse, who we are, it doesn't mean anything other than what it is; a curse." Yuki replied quietly. "Because we're so desperate for a semblance of normalcy or superiority, we grab at anything that would give us an advantage, even if it is a cursed body." He laughed to himself as a tear escaped his large eyes. "How sad."

Kyo looked on, mesmerized by the crystal drop making its way down Yuki's smooth cheek.

As the drop continued its split-second drop to the ground, something in Kyo seemed to shift with it.

There was something magical about Yuki tears as well, it seems.

Something was liberated with those drops. It was…soothing, gentle and foreign. Tohru-like. Kyo didn't want to think about it, didn't want to associate how Tohru made him feel with Yuki, so he returned to the task at hand.

Oddly, it felt good to talk. Even Shishou hadn't been told everything. Kyo never want to burden his father with his turbulent emotions. Yuki though, deserved something. He deserved to know that them hating each other was just the curse. Beating the Jyuunishi mouse was something that he'd wanted to do his entire life, yet ever since that dark rainy night and at seeing the tears in Yuki's eyes; that part of him he thought he'd buried so well, the very same part of him that was filling with unprecedented serenity at this very moment, protested.

He couldn't beat Yuki; he lost the drive to do it.

And that was that.

He never wanted to hate in the first place. He had been filled with so much of it that he couldn't function without it. It became his oxygen. His savior from insanity, as he said to Yuki.

And that was why he let it consume him.

Akito was wrong. They were all wrong. Her death wasn't his fault, right?

He didn't want to continue on the path his hate outlined for him. He wanted to live his life till the moment of imprisonment. He wanted to be close to Tohru until the very last moment.

And Yuki; he didn't want to be the reason for anymore suffering. He would not let Akito win. He would not be the reason for any more pain for Yuki.

What he said to his cousin earlier, was unfair. Using other people's lives, especially Tohru's, against his cousin; fully knowing that Yuki's suffering was of a whole different category, one that included a jail sentence for Akito. It didn't work, because it was wrong.

It was self-centered and callous.

However, Kyo had to get through to him. No matter how he looked at it, there was no way he was going to let Yuki give up or die and carry the guilt of letting it happen the rest of his life. He didn't want Yuki to continue wallowing in self-pity. It complicated things.

He had done enough soul searching today to last him an eternity.

Yuki had good things too. He just had to see that.

But, how to go about it?

"Look, I didn't mean... It's just such a stupid thing to do. But, you can't let Akito win."

He didn't want to be nice to Yuki, he despised it. Being civil was already too much, anything more would be…

Kyo didn't even want to go there. So for now, he'd continue lecturing the other, trying to get through to him.

"Are you worried that Akito'll take his anger out on someone else? So instead, you're going to let him mess around with you for the rest of your life? Is that what you want?" His tone grew more gruff as he spoke, "Wake up already! Akito lost. It's almost over. He's probably dying as we speak and you won't have to worry about him ever again! Whatever he made you believe, it's not true. He's a liar and a manipulator, you know better than to trust anything he says. And don't you dare blame yourself when you were only a kid!"

Tohru's face came to him then and he thought of her words to him. What had she said? What were those magical healing words?

"Think of all the people around you. Their kindness or whatever, it's no lie! There's nothing deceitful about it. They honestly want to help you, so don't let them down by playing into Akito's trap. And those people, they can only help if you let them.  
You have to understand that what happened doesn't change who you are. Don't let what happened in the past ruin the rest of your life!"

He didn't know where all this was coming from, but it seemed to be working. His cousin now looked interested, the dullness in his eyes was slowly fading.

He thought back to that dark stormy night so long ago, what had he been desperate for?

_Acceptance; wholehearted and unadulterated._

Yuki had wanted to run away, like he had.

_Yuki, is that what you need too?_

"Running away from our problems won't solve anything." He finally said, "And with acceptance, you can forgive yourself."

_I did. She accepted me, all of me. She can do the same for you._

That was the hardest part, admitting that he had to share Tohru with Yuki, someone who _clearly_ didn't deserve her worry or affection.

"And Tohru, what about her? She's so worried about you! Do you want to just leave her? Why don't you be a man for once instead of walking around all pretty and—"

Yuki's previously glazed eyes suddenly glinted with deadly intent as he growled and turned to face Kyo; fury across his beautiful features, fist swinging as he moved lightning fast, then stopping an inch in front of Kyo's nose.

"Who are you calling pretty, you bastard?" Yuki demanded.

Kyo opened his eyes slowly, wondering why he still didn't feel any pain. Seeing the fist so close to his nose, he tried not to panic. But macho pride coerced him to smirk, if nervously, at his attacker, "I don't see any other pretty boys around here, do you?"

The silver haired Sohma continued to glare at him but then exhaled defeatedly, pulling his fist back. The way he looked was one of a lot of things he had to accept about himself, wasn't it?

Another curse.

But, something had to be said.

"Another outlet for your profanity, perhaps?" He asked smugly.

"What?" Kyo jumped to his feet. "Don't make me laugh. I'm perfectly happy looking like a normal guy and I definitely don't want no guys hitting on me!"

Yuki sighed as he got to his feet. He shook his head in defeat and began to walk away, reflecting on all that was said.

"Oi, Yuki!" Kyo began in a soft tone, "Listen. What happened to you…it's something serious, and you can't expect yourself to get better in a few days or weeks."

Yuki gave him an unreadable look but didn't interrupt or leave.

"What I mean is, you Kuso…take your time…to get better because a lot of people are worried about you...and-and if you ever need to …um, unload…you can always… Oh jeez, never mind." Kyo turned away, trying to hide his reddening face. He began to stomp away before his embarrassment became noticeable.

The Jyuunishi Mouse was speechless in the face of this Kyo that actually gave a damn. He stood there for a few minutes trying to digest what Kyo said.

_Take my time? It'll take time, that's for certain. _

He looked up at Kyo's retreating back.

_Kyo found out, and I don't see pity in his eyes…Not anymore. It's more like understanding._

Understanding, it felt good. It seemed sincere.

Kyo had said so much, there was so much pain in their past, so much pain between them.

But, the will to overcome everything?

_Can I do it with this gaping hole where my soul was?_

Kyo seemed to have it.

Did he also have it?

_"I am not belittling your loss, Yuki Kun, but I know that you have the strength and will to move forward and not let this make you unhappy forever. Don't give up, Yuki Kun. I believe in you..."_

_"Don't let what happened in the past ruin the rest of your life!" _

Everyone seemed so confident that he did.

And, the others?

_Rely on others? Dare I hope they won't turn away? _

_The others…_

_"I hope that you can always count on me, Yuki Kun." _

_"I want to share Yuki's pain. But, only if Yuki will let me."_

They were still here.

Kyo was still standing here.

_"And with acceptance, you can forgive yourself."_

_Forgive myself?_

It didn't sound nearly as impossible as before, coming from Kyo.

_Could I?_

When he followed his cousin that night, it was to stop him from doing what he'd been doing his entire life; running away from others, and himself.

_Accept all of me?_

Tohru had often said that they were alike, it used to infuriate him.

_We really are alike, just like she said._

It was almost scary to admit, but at the same time there was this immense sense of relief as it shattered the façade that one always had to maintain in the face of expectations.

It filled Yuki with conviction.

_I want to try._

Courage.

_I want to feel. _

Hope.

_I want that warm feeling again._

He looked up at the moon in the sky, it was cold and lonely, much like himself. Yet, it too shone through the clouds and the darkness.

Unabated.

_I've been spending too much time with Haru_.

He chuckled to himself momentarily, before hurrying to catch up with his flustered cousin.

"Hey, Kyo!"

Just as the other turned, Yuki punched him squarely in the jaw. "That's for my wrists!" Yuki glowered down at him, then walked away, rubbing at his sore wrists and making his way back to the house, brushing at his dirtied clothes all the while.

Picking himself off the ground, Kyo watched the other leave, rubbing his sore jaw. Getting to his feet, he felt…lighter somehow, as if a heavy burden had been lifted off his chest. It felt good, not too good, cause it was Yuki after all. But, unheeding his attempts to continue frowning, a snicker made its way to his lips.

_Stop it!_

But he couldn't help it. He hadn't screwed up, and he was still in one piece!

Yuki had actually listened to him!

_Stop! If Yuki comes back, he'll think you're laughing at him. _

That put an end to the giggles.

The smile stayed on.

XXX

In her room, Tohru wept.

XXXXXX

Whew! Well that was much longer than I originally intended! 26 pages! That's like what, 3 chapters? I had to get everything in. I hope that everyone finds it believable.

So everything was said out in the open, or was it? Do you really think that it could be that easy? If you think so, then you apparently haven't been reading the last 19 chapters! And Tohru…he he he.

Basically though, Kyo was the final domino, I know I know, excellent symbolism (sarcasm ahoy) but that's the best way I can put it. I can total see that in a serious setting, the two would take what they say to each other very seriously.

So, decided that we are no longer able to space our paragraphs, so I have to go back and fix everything! They ruined the effect I was aiming for here cause I had to put in all the X's. Anyways, I was thinking of giving each chapter a name, you know, like _real_ writers with brains do, what do you think? Should I bother? Does anyone care? TT

And once again, sorry for the long wait, my bro and sister had a lot of school stuff to do and I graciously let them have the pc. Aren't I a gem?

Thanks a ton to all those who have taken the time to read and review, and tell me what an evil person I am. I am so happy that my work brings out such an emotional reaction! THANK YOU SO MUCH! Can you believe it's been a year already?

And thanks to Sohma Li Chan for the much needed proofreading and ego inflating!

Kativa-Chan : I'm Sorry, but I had to be the evil fic writer! You did it quite often yourself! You never ever bother me! I love the fact that you want me to update, but I just feel so bad that you have to do it so often! I LOVE YOU! LOL! What did you think about this chapter? THANK YOU!

Sin Katt : he he I'm sorry. What did you think? THANK YOU!

NeuroticSquirrel : More it is! THANK YOU!

T-c3 : Yup! its what I do best apparently, so what did you think about this one? You write angsty Kyo yourself, so I want to know what you think! THANK YOU!

Aisha C : THANK YOU DARLING! I want to know how you found it!

Gia : Aww, I'm sorry! I'll take a look at your site for sure, did you want another suggestion? Didn't you like my earplugs and tranquilizer one? But they'll get along so much better that way! LOL! THANK YOU!

Cmquietone : Wowie! THANK YOU and welcome to the story! I hope this chapter was to your satisfaction.

Karta : Wait till next time! I'm delighted that you're enjoying the character developments, they can be troublesome, but its all good in the end, ne? THANK YOU so much for the compliments!

animelvr4evr : LOL! THANK YOU!

secretmirror180 : Come on man, don't say that! I LOVE YOU! LOL! Sure, you can get the Naga laugh, though I feel that Kodachi's is just well, more ominous! THANK YOU!

anne nime : Ah the baka neko! It has to be that way because it just can't change suddenly! You can't just change the way you act around someone, right? It takes time, and well discretion. LOL! What did you think of this chapter my eloquent friend? And you know, you seem much older than a college student. See, I've been out of school for 3 years now, and ask anyone who knows, me, I don't act like it. But enough about me! I totally appreciate you taking time out from your busy schedule to review, and they do help me so much! THANK YOU!

Ying Fa19 : THAT WAS SO WELL SAID! LOLOLOLOLOL! Ahem, you're new! Hello and THANK YOU! I love Yuki too, much more than necessary, but I love to torture him. I'm glad you're enjoying the story! And you'll have to wait and see!

Piro : I can't help but do that to him! THANK YOU!

Babyblu : He is Kyo, somebody had to screw up! Did you still want help with the chapters? I'm ready to help fellow Yukiru supporters anytime! THANK YOU!

vaL : Why THANK YOU!

akitosohma : LOL! What did you think? THANK YOU!

Polka Dot : Did you mean kill Akito? Sure why not, but I'm not planning to lock those two up together. LOL! THANK YOU!

Haruka Hana : Yup! That's Kyo for ya! What did you think? It would've been fun for Kyo to loose Yuki in the woods, but then where would Yuki have gone? Xhead explodes for all the possibilitiesX. I didn't think Ayame, even with all his faults, could just stand there. He'd want to do something for Yuki. As for Hatori, well, I can't promise… But if you can write a furuba, do it! DO IT DO IT DO IT! I wanna read XEvil glareX but it better not be Kyoru! LOL! THANK YOU!

Youki no ko: I'm glad! I hope you liked this one! THANK YOU!

Sohma Risa : So, what did you think of the 5 extra pages? Tell me they were actually useful, I'd die otherwise! This gave me so much trouble. TT And no sweetie, it is you who rocks! Well I rock too, I have to admit. THANK YOU for reviewing and supporting this delicate little soul.

Ina-chan : Xdoes the moon walkX YAAHOOOOOO! I should've told you to review me ages ago, well I would've had you told me that you were reading! Oh well! THANK YOU so much! I totally appreciate all your kind words! I try hard to write something believable, and I hope that you didn't think that this was end of the Yuki Kyo feud, he he no that'd be too easy! I guess this would be non cannon behavior for Kyo who seems to have emotionally regressed in the manga, but that's why I developed him in the last 15 or so chapters, all for this moment. He couldn't just walk away! And you already know how much I love Yuki! And so I love to delve into his beautiful little mind and try to peel away the darkness surrounding his soul. Tohru? What did you think? I had to destroy her as well, it was her turn! I would be ever so grateful if you bestow another review upon me, one in the very near future and forever afterwards!

justareviewer, notawriter : That's true, Yuki has developed tremendously while Kyo is still himself! Another Yuki fan! Excellent! Akito is a freak, he's supposed to annoy everybody and make them want to kill him, that's his charm. THANK YOU so much for the compliments, demanding is good and I hope you liked this chapter!

ChiisaiKyo : THANK You for reviewing, but I wonder if the rest of the story scared you off? LOL!

Penpenchan : Yup, Yuki's a hero! THANK YOU!

Miaka1977j : THANK YOU! Lol, please don't cry! Cliffhangers are an absolute must here!

Kit TayLor : THANK YOU!

Akiko Koishii: THANK YOU!

Mistress RinRin : Gay? NO! THANK YOU for taking the time to actually print the whole thing out. What did you think?

Coming up, Ayame's stand against Akito. Or is it?


	21. An Insignificant Place

A Warm Place

Disclaimer I don't own Yummy Yuki or any Fruits Basket character. Fruits Basket belongs to Takaya Natsuki.

A continuation of the anime series laced with some obsessive hallucinations of mine.

_Italics_ thoughts

XXXXXX

In the past, Ayame's meetings with Akito were of no calamitous consequence. He lived outside the Honke; he had never been exactly _close_ to Akito, unlike Hatori and Shigure, so there no expectations from him other than reverence and attendance if and when summoned. Of all the Jyuunishis, he lived a self indulgent, self-sufficient life in every sense.

Even his recent familial reformation didn't really change anything about his routine, since there was no real reason to change anything about himself, or what he did. His splendid personality was no issue with his precious little brother, nor was it with anyone whose opinion actually mattered. There was no need to hold back any part of himself or think twice before speaking, until now.

Things were different, now.

Anything he would say or do would affect his little brother.

Now, someone was going to suffer the consequences of his actions.

It was an enormous liability.

It terrified him.

To be the cause of more pain, suffering, and hate.

These mere thoughts weighed heavily on his conscience, feverishly whispering warnings of things to come, but he shut them out as he made his way through the darkened hallways of the inner Sohma house; getting closer to his destination.

Nervous, he was actually nervous! It was an unfamiliar, wavering emotion, and he couldn't recall a time when he felt the same way for more than a millisecond. It was something of a distant memory.

He had to calm himself, to ignore the multitude of thoughts running rampant through his head. His current disposition was of superfluous apprehension and uncertainty.

Ayame wasn't one to plan before speaking, it was a foreign concept to him; he was spontaneous, exuberant, conscientious and his iridescent self was the envy of the whole wide world as his marvelous perspicuity enthralled again and again, receiving lavish encomium...

_Wait a minute!_

It was his extemporaneous nature that was his worst enemy at this moment.

_This isn't working!_ He sighed inwardly as he tried to clear his head again.

It wouldn't do to meet with Akito like that.

He had to plan what he would say, every single word; there was a first time for everything. He would do what he did at those few meetings he had with the Sohma clan head--serve his special blend tea, and have a quiet conversation with the Sohma master, however this time he'd exhort Yuki's need for more time and space.

Yes, he'd do just that.

And hopefully Akito would listen, and concur.

Hopefully.

Somehow, Ayame didn't think it'd be that easy. His dearest companions had said so. Advice from ones knowledgeable of Akito's moods was valuable, unsettling. Even discouraging.

Yet, he had to try.

Something had to be done.

He remembered that indifferent look in Yuki's eyes not so long ago. For all he's done, he had never been the recipient of such an alarmingly empty gaze.

_"This is proof to me that you were never really my brother."_

Whatever had happened in the past to his brother, it was terrible enough to set him off against Akito in a sacrilegious manner before plunging his spirits into a vicious cycle of depression. To make things worse, after his last conversation with Yuki, Shigure advised him to stay away for some time, to give Yuki space to adapt to his new situation.

Regardless of what he didn't know, what Shigure and Hatori knew, what Yuki hated him for, and what Akito had done, why in the world had he listened?

Why?

Opportunity had passed him by again.

Unsalvageable.

_"There's nothing else to say." _

Was he afraid of discovering the horrible secret? Was he subconsciously relieved when told to stay away?

Did that mean that he wanted Yuki's love and forgiveness without dirtying his hands with the family's affairs or Yuki's dark past? Was that a reflection of callous selfishness, or overt cowardice?

Did Shigure and Hatori think that of him? Is that why he was told to stay away?

Worse, did Yuki think that? Was that the reason behind Yuki's cold shoulder?

No, he wouldn't accept that. He couldn't.

There was so much that he wanted to do for his brother, so much to say, so much to beg forgiveness for.

The guilt was still consuming him.

Now, even more so.

Yuki's wonderfully bountiful kindness, had apparently reached its limit. He was no longer to be a recipient.

Something dire had happened, and he was indirectly accountable.

And his little brother was paying the price, again.

_"If you had only acted like my brother when I needed you..."_

He could not waste this chance. His last chance at redemption,

His chance to give Yuki something back; time.

Yuki desperately needed time to pull himself together.

Ayame would not allow it; he would not step back and let Yuki face everything alone. He just could not let Yuki's torment continue. He simply could not live with himself if Yuki was to return to live at the Main house. Of the few things he knew about his brother, one thing was certain, returning to Akito's side would break him.

And that's why he was here, standing outside Akito's quarters, trying to gather his courage and act.

His last chance to salvage their broken relationship. And even if Yuki still didn't want anything to do with him, even if Yuki never acknowledged his existence, never found out about this; at least he would have something to be proud of in his egocentric life.

If not this, if he didn't try, he knew that he'd have nothing.

He'd be nothing.

Nothing.

And that terrified him even more than facing a malevolently angry clan head.

There was also the imperative need to redeem himself in Hatori's and Shigure's eyes. After what his dearest Tori San said, and Gure San's silent agreement, what was he to think?

Did they talk about it behind his back? What did they really think of him? Did they resent him for it?

In a way, all the constants in Ayame's world, were crashing around him. Everything he took for granted; his brother, his friends… falling apart.

There was no other choice but to act.

Regardless of the outcome, he had to do something.

He nodded to the servants who informed him of Akito's readiness to meet him.

Running his hands through his silky hair to unknot nonexistent tangles, and brushing his immaculate coat clean, Ayame took a deep breath and stepped into the devil's lair.

XXX

Bowing respectfully to Akito, displaying his reverence, Ayame seated himself across from the younger man. He gave what he hoped was a confident smile and proceeded to pour his special blend of tea for Akito.

Akito simpered. "It's been a long time since we had tea together."

Ayame nodded impassively. "Akito hasn't been feeling well recently."

"Well then, if you were aware of my recent predicament, why didn't you come visit me? Why didn't you call to ask about me? Even that Dog Shigure visits more often!"

Ayame remained silent and lowered his eyes to the table.

"You're just like the others! Putting everything before me, putting filthy outsiders and ridiculous so-called obligations before me!" Akito continued, irritation lacing his words. "I don't like that. I don't like being treated like that."

Ayame's mind was reeling. It wouldn't do for Akito to get angry just yet. He had to calm him down.

"You're right and I apologize. Akito should always be the most important one in our lives, I hope you can forgive my laxity." Speaking coolly and slowly, hoping that he sounded sincere.

"Apologies, apologies! That's all I get from you ingrates!" Akito glared at Ayame. "I don't know why I put up with it. Why I put up with your garbage, all of you! You're lucky I'm a patient and generous man, otherwise, there'd be serious retribution for all of you. I should call all of you back here, where we can once again be a family. Where you'd learn your place."

His sinuous eyes suddenly shone with amusement, "Starting with my beautiful Yuki."

Akito delighted in Ayame's expected reaction.

"Having him here by my side is necessary. The outside world has corrupted and confused him. He's much too impressionable and gullible. And that foolish girl, she tricked him." He tightened his hold on the small teacup. "He must return here! To his master, his rightful companion!"

Ayame watched helplessly. He had counted on the tea's soothing effects to enable him to talk quietly with Akito, but it was just as Hatori predicated; the illness was making the young God even more testy than usual.

Which meant that it was pretty much useless to try to talk him out of anything.

The silver haired man didn't reply, trying to find a safe way to say what he must.

Akito noted the drawn out silence, "You're too quiet." He stated in an accusatory tone. "Don't you agree with me?"

It was Akito's specialty, asking rhetorical questions such as this. Agreeing with him meant the end of discussion, answering in the contrary would be the equivalent of one digging one's own grave.

What was one to do?

"Akito, I—"

"Or, have you also fallen under her witch's spell? Fallen for her lies and delusions! I should've known better than to talk to a silly slimy snake!"

Apparently, the inherently short time slot for pivotal discussion had waned to near nonexistence.

The Jyuunishi snake looked on worriedly as Akito continued.

"What is it? Do you think you love her too? Like that fool Yuki?"

He smiled, in a most unsettling manner. "How disturbing! How utterly disgusting! What would Yuki say if he heard that his brother is just as bewitched as he is? He would hate you even more, wouldn't he? He'd cringe at the very mention of your name and curse you for all eternity! That's what that ugly girl has done to the family. She has turned brother against brother all for a few moments of false comfort and lies. She must be dealt with as soon as possible, and sent away from this family. But first, I must get Yuki away from her distorted influence, back here where he belongs."

Apprehension turned into full-blown dread. Here, Ayame hoped his fragrant glow wouldn't stain his clothes, there was nothing worse than sweat stains on silk.

"Akito, if I may." He began carefully.

"Oh, you have something to say? This should be interesting! I haven't heard your twisted logic in a long time, Ayame."

"Akito, your love and care for us is something we all cherish very dearly. It's much more than we deserve from you. We have been negligent and ungrateful and for that we humbly beg your forgiveness. To have been able to live as we have is a gift we will always be indebted to you for."

Akito's face initially reflected suspicion as he listened to Ayame's loquacious speech. Then, he seemed to be actually mulling things over.

"We all know how difficult life is, yet Akito has generously allowed us to fulfill our wishes outside the family. Even with our shortcomings, you selflessly permit us to our lives and living life surrounded by your loved ones is wonderful, and we—"

"Yes yes, you are all grateful blah blah blah! All I get are pretty words, and nothing else! No one really loves me like they say! They're all liars and you're one of them!"

"But, we do love you Akito! We owe you our life! You've taken care of all of us, how can we not love you?"

"Why don't you tell me?" Akito questioned irritably.

"What do you mean, Akito?"

"All I got from you is a speech. So what? Who cares? Give me something I want to hear!"

_Uh oh!_ "And what would Akito like to hear?"

"Yuki's voice. I miss Yuki and I want to hear his voice. I want it for my ears only. I want his touch for me, his air for me, his life for me. The way it should be. He is the Rat, and I am his master!"

"It's been so long since Akito and I spent time together, you told me so yourself! If Akito permits me, I can come by more often and keep you company. I know I have been lax in my duties and I wish to make up for it by taking care of you the same way you take care of us. I could also—"

"If you have a point, you better get to it!" Akito snapped. "I want to know how you think you could be a replacement for Yuki?"

"I know I could never be a replacement for Yuki. He and Akito have a very special bond, but I simply wanted to spend more time with Akito and talk to him about my brother."

The irritation disappeared from Akio's features and was quickly replaced by morose amusement. "Have you finally grown a conscience? Tell me, do you suddenly feel guilty for abandoning him?" The dark-haired man chuckled.

"He will never forgive you, you know? Little Yuki is much too sensitive, much too fragile and weak. But of course, you would never know. I would though, because it was I who loved him while you shunned him. When you looked the other way, he turned to me. He might be dull, useless, and pathetic, but he belongs to me. That's why he must return to me. I'm the one who knows him best. I've seen that side of him he tried to hide. The weak, insecure, silly side that I must protect from that ugly girl and the world."

"Akito, I don't know a lot about Yuki. I was a cold, uncaring person in the past but, I want to be his brother more than in name!"

"Really? Do you think you can be a real brother to Yuki? Will you be able to overcome your cold-blooded, selfish, arrogant nature? There's a reason you're a reptile, Ayame. You can never be human! You can't ever change your nature and it's about time you stopped wasting my time with your stupid speeches!" Akito's eye's glinted with rancor.

"Akito please—" Ayame began

"I know what you want! Did you think I wouldn't figure it out? Do you really think that Yuki would be happier with an idiot like her or a freak like you, than with me?"

Akito slammed his fist down in outrage.

"A selfish freak of nature like you? Do you truly believe that anyone truly tolerates you? Or understands you? Or even likes you? With your bizarre behavior and unnatural mannerism? You will never _ever_ be anything other than a laughing stock! Your mother can't stand you; she calls you the disgrace of the family. The disgrace of the entire family! Everything about you is abnormal, and you want me to hand Yuki over to you, so you can corrupt him as well?

You're an even bigger fool than I imagined! Do you honestly think you could keep him away from me? Throw my kindness to take him in back in my face?"

Each word pierced Ayame's heart. He was an adult, he wasn't impressionable like his younger Jyuunishi relatives. He knew better than to heed Akito's poisonous words, but he couldn't help it. So much revulsion, such ugly words coming from Akito…Was it like Akito said? Was he truly so detestable? So unnatural?

No, even if he was, Yuki had still reached out to him. He had to save his brother.

"I'm not saying he shouldn't come back, just give him a little more time, that's all!"

"TIME?" Akito screeched as he grabbed the spilled cup and flung it at the other, hitting him squarely in the head. "How much time should I give him? Another few years? Another lifetime, you filthy ingrate?"

Ayame put a hand to his now bleeding forehead. "But, he's not ready!"

"SILENCE! You don't know anything. You never did! Don't forget what you are! WHAT DO YOU KNOW TO COME AND TRY TO TEACH ME ABOUT MY OWN?"

"Just a few days!"

"How dare you question me? My word is final!"

"Just—"

"INGRATE!" Akito snarled as he swept everything off the table, the tea-set crashing loudly to the floor. "TRAITOR! I don't want you here! I don't want to see your slimy face! GET OUT!"

Ayame reached a shaking hand out "Akito…" There were no words to describe what he felt at that moment. Fear? No, it was much more primal. His body trembled as his horrified eyes met Akito's livid ones.

"YOU ARE NOTHING!"

"But—" _Wait!_

"IDIOT! FREAK! YOU'LL NEVER BE ANYTHING MORE THAN TRASH! DO EVERYONE A FAVOR AND SLITHER BACK IN YOUR DISGUSTING LITTLE HOLE! NO ONE WANTS TO ASSOCIATE WITH YOU! NO ONE WANTS TO KNOW YOU! NO ONE WANTS TO SEE YOU! NO ONE CARES WHAT HAPPENS TO TRASH LIKE YOU! GET OUT OF MY SIGHT!"

"I..." _I'm not! I'm…_

"GET OUT NOW!"

_Done for._ "I-I understand…I'm sorry." Ayame bowed respectfully, trying to steady himself from the blow to the head and the stabbing words. As he slid the shoji open, Akito's deceptively calm voice called out.

"It's for your own good." He panted, "All of you. Bring Yuki to me tonight."

Ayame nodded dazedly and turned to leave. _I'm sorry Yuki…I failed you once again._

Leaving the dimly lit quarters, he dizzily made his way towards the outer portions of the house.

_Akito was right._

His eyes stung with the weight of tears, his selfish heart wanting to cry for his own hurt. Even now, he had forgotten about Yuki's inescapable return to the main house, to that horrible man's side.

_Useless. _

He was absolutely repulsive. Yuki was as good as gone, and he was crying for himself?

_How disgusting._

He didn't deserve anything from anybody. Being acknowledged alone was too good for him. He hadn't saved his brother, and had run as soon as Akito had lashed out.

How did Yuki do it? Living with that man for so long? How could he take it? How did anyone survive this?

And now Yuki was to relive it.

He sobbed.

_I'm so unworthy, Yuki…_

_I don't know what to do…How can I face Tori San and Gure San now? How can I ever face you again? _

He opened the door leading to the outside gardens, his barely focused vision catching sight of Shigure and Hatori, seemingly moving in slow motion.

_How can I live with myself?_

"AYA!"

"AYAME!"

He wasn't worthy of their attention.

_I am nothing more than trash._

He stumbled to the ground, dazed and exhausted. Looking up at the others through his thick bangs, he tried to tell them to save Yuki, to leave him and save his brother.

"I…"

They understood, nevertheless.

"Aya?" Shigure asked tenderly, kneeling besides him. "Are you alright?"

"Yuki." Choking on his words, Ayame continue. "I-I couldn't…" _I couldn't save him!_

"It's all right." Shigure soothed, lifting Ayame's hair to find the still bleeding wound. Hatori just watched in obvious discomfort.

"NO!" Ayame yelled, suddenly finding his voice. "It's not alright! It'll never be alright!"

The tears fell this time, and his last word was a whisper "Ever."

Shigure stroked Ayame's hair gently as he sobbed. _Ever._

Shigure looked up at Hatori, pleading with the Doctor to do or say something. The Jyuunishi dragon's eyes softened and he opened his mouth to speak, when he was called by one of Akito's servants.

"Hatori Sama! Akito Sama needs you right away!" She called, her voice shaky with fright.

Hatori's reply was immediate. "I'll be right there."

She nodded and hurried back inside.

He looked down at Ayame, on his hands and knees, shaking as he tried to contain his sobs; and up to Shigure's saddened visage.

He knelt next to his silver haired cousin.

"Ayame, it's done. You tried your best, but deep down you also knew that Akito's orders couldn't be defied."

Ayame sobbed harder.

"You tried, Yuki will understand that. He'll appreciate it all the same. But, the bottom line is that he has to come back. He's the only one who can get himself out of this mess."

"I made it worse, didn't I?" Ayame asked in a small voice.

_"YOU ARE NOTHING!" _

"You don't know that. It was a done deal the moment Akito gave the order." Hatori replied, taking the opportunity to examine the cut. "What you can do now, is let Yuki now you're there for him. He needs you now more than ever, even if he won't admit it."

"That's not true." Ayame shook his head, "He's never needed me. In everything he's done, he's never needed me. It was only my own wish to be useful that made me believe that I could actually help him. But, I have never had anything to offer him, nor shall I ever."

"Let him decide that." Hatori said. "What's important is that you did all you could. The rest is up to him."

"Yuki Kun is full of surprises." Shigure added, "He'll come around, I promise you."

But, Ayame was inconsolable. "You weren't there, you didn't see it!" He cried, "You don't understand!"

Shigure looked over at Hatori, at a loss for words. Hatori got to his feet. "Shigure, take Ayame to the clinic. I'll see you there."

The Doctor took a few steps inside the compound, before stopping to speak one last time. "Ayame. You better not let Yuki see you like this. He would never want you to hurt yourself like you're doing now. Don't give him more issues to worry about. Pull yourself together, and start thinking about what you're going to do next, not about what you can't change."

Ayame turned to see Hatori walking away.

"He's right you know." Shigure spoke, "It's useless to lament over the past, you have to plan for the future."

"All I see is darkness in his future, Gure San." _And in mine._

"He'll get out of it, you shouldn't underestimate your own brother."

After a few moments of silence, Shigure slung one of Ayame's arms over his shoulder. "Let's get you inside."

As they walked towards the clinic, Ayame spoke again. "I don't know how he did it, Gure San. How could he have lived all this time with this kind of treatment? Or you, or Ha San or anyone! I always knew that Akito was cruel and ruthless but never to what extent. I didn't want to know anything at all, back then."

"That's what makes him so amazing, doesn't it? That he survived and lived to tell the tale?"

"…Amazing." Ayame echoed.

"Yes, he is." Shigure smiled knowingly. "He takes after his brother, after all!

"Stop it, Gure San. You can't compare me to Yuki at all!"

"Well, maybe not amazing in the same sense." Shigure answered.

Ayame didn't reply but he glance over at Shigure's shrewd eyes, and replied just for the sake of appearances "So, what sense were you referring to, Gure San?"

"Why, an X rated sense of course!" The Jyuunishi dog grinned.

It felt empty though. And they had tried so hard to cheer him up.

_"NO ONE CARES WHAT HAPPENS TO TRASH LIKE YOU!"_

He was unworthy.

They knew Yuki better than he did, it was another blow to his esteem, but they told him that Yuki would come around. Would he? He had truly wanted to give Yuki more time, desperately wanted to. Hatori was right though, deep down, he knew that it was futile.

He was after all, useless.

He knew that he wouldn't change a thing.

That didn't make the situation any less dire, though.

Now, it was time to face the consequences of running away from such a situation his entire life; utter and complete loss.

The bottom line now was that Yuki was going away, and god knows when he would be back.

"I don't want to be dramatic, but this could be the last time you see Yuki for sometime." Shigure said serenely.

"I know."

"Let him know that you'll be there for him, even if he doesn't want you to. Tell him what you need to say."

"I will."

"We should get you cleaned up, then." The novelist continued in the same tone as he entered the clinic and helped Ayame sit down on the bed. He rummaged through the shelving until he found some gauze rolls. Ayame let him wrap the gauze around the scabbing wound.

"I'm sorry, Gure San."

"Eh? For what?"

"For everything." The Jyuunishi snake started, "For abandoning Yuki, for leaving you and Tori San to take care of him. It must've been difficult, and yet, you never said anything about it."

"It was no trouble, Aya."

"Don't lie to me, Gure San. I can't imagine what dealing with this kind of situation on a regular basis could do to a person. I ran away from my responsibility and you and Tori San had to act in my place. I can't tell you how sorry I am."

"Aya." The Novelist began in a serious tone, "I understood that you had issues with Yuki and the family at the time. I was your friend, I still am your friend, so I didn't mind looking after your cute little brother. Neither did Ha San. It wasn't fun and games, I won't lie to you, but then nothing in this family ever is. But, you have to stop beating yourself up over this. You're trying to make things right between the two of you, that's worth something."

"It's not enough though." Ayame countered. "He goes through hell, and I say I'm sorry?"

"Why don't you let him be the judge of that? Let him be the one to decide whether it's enough or not. It's almost as if you don't know your own brother, Aya!"

"But he's so angry with me, Gure San!"

"He's angry with me all the time, and he and Ha San don't exactly have the best relationship in the world!" Shigure countered, "He's a good kid, he'll understand one day. He just needs time. You need to be there for him when he's ready to understand."

After some deliberation, Ayame spoke again. "I feel so unworthy of this…giving myself hope, allowing my conscience to rest."

"It's called guilt, Aya." Shigure teased.

"I know." Ayame whispered.

Nothing more was said as the two friends and cousins were each lost in their own thoughts. After a few quiet moments, Shigure turned to face the other, taking in Ayame's tearstained cheeks, clumped lashes and flushed face.

"Aya?"

"Yes, Gure San." Ayame replied with a resigned sigh.

"I know this isn't the right time, but I have to tell you" Shigure grinned devilishly. "You look simply ravishing."

Ayame couldn't help but react this time.

XXX

"Hatori!" Akito rasped as the older man entered the quarters, eyes examining the mess Akito's tantrum left. "Go get Yuki. I want him here, now!"

"Yes, Akito." Hatori noted the Sohma master's racing pulse. "Why don't you go rest, and I'll go get him."

Akito gave him a dubious look. "You'll bring Yuki here, while I rest?"

"Yes, Akito."

Satisfied, the Jyuunishi God turned towards his private quarters, then stopped to speak. "Did you see that stupid slimy snake? Do you know what he wanted from me, what he dared to ask of me?"

"What did he want?" Hatori kept his voice even, fully knowing that Akito was trying to instigate him.

"He wanted to take Yuki from me! He thought that Yuki would be happier with him than me! That filthy snake! How dare he?"

Hatori didn't reply.

"That delusional little reptile. Shameless freak." Akito snickered suddenly, "I have something special planned for him, but only once Yuki is here."

"As you wish, Akito."

"Oh, I do!" He grinned wickedly, "In fact, keep Ayame around today. I want to see him later. I want Yuki here when I wake up, Hatori."

Hatori nodded, impassively. Inside though, he was trembling; What was Akito planning to do to the brothers? Ayame's wounded mental state would not be able to handle another blow today or anytime soon. And it would be ten fold as bad for Yuki.

Something had to be done, but what?

XXXXXX

Indeed, Hatori. What?

First and foremost, another apology for the delay in posting. But you guys can't imagine how busy I've been in the last month or so! Between an annoying part-time job and trying to keep the house clean and the kids fed, all I can say is that I have the utmost respect for all homemakers, and working mothers!

You can also blame Kodocha and Parfait tic for the delay, he he!

Well here you have it, Ayame's pathetic attempt at taking a stand.

Even though Ayame's my second favorite Furuba character, I always felt that he was begging for a slap in the face. In everything he's done or said, I never once felt that he actually wanted to find out about what happened to Yuki under Akito's reign. That doesn't work in my book, you can't rectify the past if you ignore it. Well, that's my understanding of the world of furuba and Ayame anyway.

I'm ecstatic with all the chapter 20 reviews! You guys make me feel so special and make those agonizing 26 pages so worth it!

THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART! YOU GUYS RULE!

Gia : THANK YOU! I'm so happy you liked it!

kativa chan : Of course not shounen ai! LOL! But THANK YOU SO MUCH! And as usual, I'm sorry for the delay! You always make me feel so guilty cause my goal is to update before you write me. TT

C.B. Emotionally exhausting for all, me included! LOL! As for Tohru...you'll have to wait and see! THANK YOU!

Aisha C: Really? That's so sad, I hope your friend is feeling better about himself now. THANK YOU for your kind words!

T-c3: EH? Why'd you get grounded? You poor thing! And it was a 26 pg chapter, thank you very much! LOL! I'm glad that I helped you out, and I'll get around to reviewing you soon, please bear with me. And yeah, all the parents of the Jyuunishi get an allowance of some sort, and since Yuki's Mom bore the mouse, she got a whole lotta cash for that and for giving him up to Akito. What a CENSOR! NO weirdness! I love your reviews and you flatter me way too much, cause I definitely am not that good! THANK YOU!

Babyblu : LOL! Takaya! I wish, she's so evil! I could only dream of being as evil. Anyway, I'm planning something for Tohru later…so look out for that! And when are you going to update you fic, girl? THANK YOU!

akitosohma: Really? Good or bad crying? LOL! THANK YOU!

annenime: You should see me then! I haven't changed a bit since I turned 16 and I definitely don't act like a 24 yr old pharmacist! THANK YOU as always for your fantastic reviews! You compliment me on stuff that I never really think about and make me feel so damn smart, keep it up! LOL! And yeah, you're supposed to feel bad for Tohru, well I actually was grinning manically as I wrote it, but yeah! What'd you think about this chapter? I hope you liked it and as always anxiously await your reviews!

Mistress RinRin: Le super glomp? LOL! THANK YOU and good luck with your studies!

Akiko Koishii: Soon, soon! THANK YOU!

justareviewer, notawriter: Hmmm I see what your friend was saying, but the way I see it and from what little we know about the lives of the Jyuunishi, Yuki suffered the most. Hands down. I don't think words could ever convey what it would feel like to be abandoned by family and being told day-in-and-out that you are a unlovable worthless freak. That's of course not to mention the isolation and physical abuse. So yeah, we can excuse Yuki's thinking because he's right! But it's like you said, the talk is supposed to make the both of them think about what they're doing, and we'll see the outcome of that soon! THANK YOU!

Rashiea : THANK YOU! So what did you think of this chapter?

Ina-chan: Of course! What did you expect out of me? nice nice? LOL! As for Kyo, as much as I would love to make him worship Yuki day in and out, he is still Kyo! The Yuki/Akito scene is still in the development but I'm not sure if I 'm going to put Hanajima in there! LOL! I'll see what I can do for you, might as well invite Uotani and her steel pipe along! THANK YOU!

Cmquietone : THANK YOU and I hope you liked this chapter!

TYouhkriu : Yeah! Another Kyo hating Yuki fan! LOL! THANK YOU!

Haruka Hana: Well, you pretty much guessed it all didn't you? LOL! But I'm not going to say anything, I hope this chapter was to your liking! And write that Yukiru girl! But if Tohru ends up with Kyo at the end I'm coming for you and bringing the Yukiru brigade with me! I actually only saw 4 Naruto episodes and 2 or 3 Weizz so I think I need to watch a few more, but you never know! And THANK YOU so much for being so considerate about reviewing after the initial rush was over, you are the sweetest!

moira2: I can't believe you read my lowly piece of fiction! TT Did I mention that I love the 'Prince of Snows'? LOL! I'm delighted that you liked the story, as it's my take on the darker world of Furuba. As much as I would like to kill Akito the way you suggested, if you have time, take a look at my 'Mystery theater' fic and see what I did to Akito there! I hope your boss didn't catch you reading this! And I anxiously await your reviews! And thanks a billion for reading my oneshots! Please don't start, my writing skills don't compare to an iota of yours! Now update that fic! I hope everything's going well for you!

Ying Fa19 : LOL! THANK YOU! Yuki and Tohru are meant to be aren't they?

Tsukitani: Wow, do you think that you might have some issue with Tohru? LOL! I didn't know about that, but that's probably because we always talk about Yuki and Sano and Daiya and Kyoburgers…LOL! SNOGGING? What kind of fic did you think this was? LOL! I hope the move is proceeding smoothly! THANK YOU!

NeuroticSquirrel: LOL! THANK YOU!

evil-yami-creampuff: Well THANK YOU for reviewing then! I'm happy that you've been following the story and I hope that you continue to read and hopefully, review!

Sohma Risa: Well, you can tell me again! I never get sick of hearing it! LOL! I added a few extra bits here too, but only a few sentences here and there. And as always, if it wasn't for you, this would be a comedy so a BIG FAT KYOUBURGER AND THANKS TO YOU!

Shinigami's Voice: THANK YOU for taking the time out to review, I know how busy you are and I appreciate it! I'm very happy that you liked it, and you should know that you are just as good, if not better at manipulating the characters and words (that palpitation thing in chapter 12!). But I guess no one compares to my wickedness! I wanted to destroy Tohru, its fun! And of course I love Kamui! I only watched a few DNAngel and Hellsing episodes, but I recommend you watch Kodocha! It's insane!

manderleyangel : THANK YOU! What did you think?

Youki no ko: THANK YOU for your wonderful words! I aim to please! Hope to see you soon!

secretmirror180: LOL! Poor Tohru indeed! THANK YOU So much!

Sorrowful Memory: THANK YOU!

Ri-kun: THANK YOU but I wonder if the rest of the fic scared you off! LOL!

Kiku-san: Aww! THANK YOU! What'd you think of this chapter?

sweet-mel: Welcome fellow Yukiru! And THANK YOU for reviewing! Tohru's scene is coming up

Again, all thanks, Kyoburgers and Kyoweiners to Sohma Li Chan for proofreading!

Next, how does a Jyuunishi defy Akito's unchallengeable verdict?

Until next time!

P.S. Thanks to all those who have read and reviewed my other Furuba oneshots and as a note, parts 3 and 4 of the ultra cool narrative adaptation of 'I promise' by Ina-Chan are up on Fan Audio section!


	22. A Courageous Place

A Warm Place

Disclaimer I don't own Yummy Yuki or any Fruits Basket character. Fruits Basket belongs to Takaya Natsuki.

A continuation of the anime series laced with some obsessive hallucinations of mine.

_Italics_ thoughts

Note: Chapters 20 and 21 took place at the same time.

XXXXXX

Watched by the Jyuunishi Dragon, Akito walked away at a leisurely pace.

Hatori knew was trapped.

The order was absolute.

He was to obey without question, as always.

Not that Hatori was a mindless robot, nor was he a heartless henchman. He was simply acting in accordance to what his Jyuunishi position dictated; whether it was his father or Akito, he knew better than to defy his God and master, regardless of the consequence to him or anyone.

No questions were ever asked, not even when people close to him were involved. Might it be erasing a memory or allowing someone's hurt to continue, Hatori never spoke out.

The Jyuunishi Dragon knew his place.

The Jyuunishi Dragon knew his limits.

That was why he never spoke out against Akito's sadistic abuse of Yuki, or the mistreatment of Momiji, Kisa and Isuzu.

Not even when Hatori's own heart was at stake.

So, why should this time be any different?

What reason did he have not to drive over to Shigure's place and bring Yuki back here? Why should he oppose someone who controlled every aspect of his life? Why should he risk his comfortably routine life for Yuki? Why should he risk Akito's wrath?

His duty was always only to physically heal. He didn't want to involve himself in anything else, because he knew better than giving his cousins false hope, then failing to help them.

He was a Doctor, not a psychiatrist nor a miracle worker.

Maybe that hurt them even more, assuming that Hatori just didn't care enough to bother.

He hurt and betrayed them both ways.

So, what was another betrayal, now?

Why should this time be different?

Similar thoughts ran rampant through Hatori's mind. A Part of him wanted to remain indifferent, reminding him of the history of Akito's rage; while another reminded him of an occasion that was different.

One time was indeed different.

That one time with Tohru. When that brave girl dared to meet up with someone who held her in so much contempt. The one time he hesitated before an order.

Before his God.

Not that it would redeem him. No, he was too guilty, his hands too stained. Every memory erased, every tear shed, every relationship broken, every family divided; he carried all of them like sins. They weighed down on him as the years went by.

Then, came the time for retribution.

Kana.

Having to erase what were precious memories to his most important person with his own hands...it was then that Hatori really learned about irony.

It was then that he realized how much that simple procedure tore at him. How it ate away at his heart and soul, keeping him up at night with memories and visions of pleas, tears and blood. Threatening to turn him into the 'cold' person Akito labeled him as.

And, that was his reward.

He wanted to redeem himself, but had no opportunity or willpower to do so.

He thought that Akito was right, that he was indeed as cold as snow.

Yet, he was desperate to prove Akito wrong.

That was why he hesitated. Tohru was someone who brought much needed love, acceptance and understanding to this ill-fated family. She gave the family hope and faith in the world. Losing her would be a serious blow, and he couldn't bear to be the one responsible for so much misery.

He didn't want another Kana, yet he didn't want the family to suffer more heartbreak. Nor did Tohru deserve such a heavy burden placed upon her fragile shoulders.

Wasn't it wrong to depend so much on Tohru?

Was that selfish of him? Of the Jyuunishi? To let Tohru become further entangled within the family's dark, miserable curse, just so they would be happy?

Was the family just using her?

Was he betraying Tohru that way?

Yet, she was adamant about staying. It was her own choice despite numerous warnings and now, the only thing Hatori could do was to stand back and observe, and try to protect her if he could. Protect all of them, if he could.

He wasn't a cold person, at least he hoped not. And maybe one day, someday, he would be forgiven for all his sins.

Maybe one day he could vindicate himself.

One day.

Ayame often spoke of his need to be forgiven, of a need to atone. And though he often went about it the wrong way, his intentions were sincere. That was the reason he went to see Akito and put himself in the very situation he'd been evading his entire life.

Shigure as well, with all his scheming and deceit, seemed to find a balance between that and providing a home for Yuki, Kyo and Tohru away from the Honke's difficult environment. If the time came for Shigure to go through with his plans, the atmosphere he provided at his place would make the youngsters strong enough to possibly oppose when necessary.

Even Yuki, who would tremble at the mere mention of Akito's name, he who had been abused in the worst ways, finally put his foot down and pulled away.

So, why was Hatori hesitating?

Why did a boy, nearly half his age, have the courage and willpower he desired?

What did it take to gain that kind of strength?

Was it possible for him to ever be like that?

If Hatori wanted to be absolved, wasn't this the perfect opportunity?

Ayame had jumped at his chance to help.

_"Damn it! I just want to be his brother! Why won't you let me?"_

He spoke spiteful words to Ayame then.

_"Its not us who kept you from Yuki all this time! If you're looking for sympathy from us, you're not going to get it!"_

He said those words out of frustration, nevertheless, deep down he believed them. He believed Ayame was selfish to abandon his loyalty to the family. He envied Ayame because he found the callousness to get away while he was trapped with no foreseeable means of escape.

God didn't care if the Snake strayed, but the Dragon could not.

_I have no right to claim the moral high ground._

Another reason to hate his doubley cursed form, and he wondered why Shigure envied him at all.

Therefore, if not for himself, then at least for Ayame. So that he may have a chance at reconciliation and happiness. Hatori didn't need anything, other than peace of mind, at least for one night.

Now, he had to do something about what could possibly turn into a very ugly situation; to dissuade Akito from whatever misery he planned on inflicting.

What could he do?

He opened his mouth to speak. What could he say?

What would Akito's reaction be?

_"That's your solution, huh? Erasing my memory?"_

Wasn't Yuki the one most deserving of his help?

_"I made it worse, didn't I?"_

Wouldn't that make the situation worse in the end?

Shifting on his feet, he heard the crunching of shards beneath, remnants of the tea-set still scattered across the floor. A testament to Akito's certain wrath.

Hatori bent down to pick a piece up. Weighing it in his hand, he tried to judge the force by which it impacted Ayame's forehead, and decided that Ayame was lucky to escape with such a small wound.

Hatori hadn't.

And he had still lost her in the end.

_"Hatori… I'm sorry…I'm sorry I couldn't protect you…"_

He glanced down at the broken tea set, then up at the doorway.

Hatori would've gladly given up everything if only she could've stayed by his side.

It wasn't meant to be, because he wasn't strong enough to save her.

_No, Kana. It was I who couldn't protect you. It was always I who couldn't protect anybody. _

He wanted to save someone. He wanted someone to save him.

The decision was made, but what was it exactly?

He hoped he would serve at least as a distraction. Maybe it was presumptuous of him, to think that Akito would react strongly to this, strongly enough to actually become preoccupied and forget about his precious Yuki for some time…that his presence was truly significant to the tempestuous clan head.

With Akito, you never knew.

But, Akito was walking further away, and with him was Hatori's chance. The sound of Akito's soft steps against the wooden floor was magnified a thousand times in Hatori's mind and all he could hear were cries and pleads and everything was red and black and...

Without even realizing it, Hatori found his foot positioned above a particularly large piece, the sharp edges lightly pricked his skin; a promise of the anguish to come.

_What am I doing!_

Any further thoughts were drowned by excruciating pain as he put his entire weight on his foot; the jagged porcelain sliced readily into his flesh.

The pain was now agonizing.

Grunting, he immediately dropped to the floor, injured foot suspended in the air.

He didn't think it would hurt this much.

What had he gotten himself into?

What the heck was he trying to accomplish?

_Shut up!_ He thought to himself as he tried to focus his thoughts.

_You call this hurt? You call this pain? This is nothing compared to their suffering!_

_NOTHING!_

Hatori heard footsteps in the hall and called out for help.

"HEY!"

A servant came rushing into the room and gasped at the scene.

"Oh my god! Hatori Sama, are you alright?" She exclaimed, gazing at the blood flowing down the injured limb and rapidly staining the floor. She hurried over to see if she could pull the imbedded pieces out.

Another maid appeared at the doorway to see what the commotion was. "Hatori Sama!"

"What is it?" Akito's voice was faint and distant but the irritation it carried was crystal clear. "What about Hatori?" Stomping footsteps quickly followed. He roughly pushed the maid standing in the doorway aside, and peered in.

"Hatori!" He cried, "What happened, Hatori!"

The Doctor replied weakly, heart pounding suddenly in anticipation at Akito's appearance. "I was careless, and stepped on the tea set."

"Are you alright?" Akito asked again, concern written all over his features as he rushed to the older man's side.

Hatori had heard that tone of voice before, for an instant, after the vase had impacted his face so long ago. Shards burying themselves in his left eye. The pain…the excruciating pain…

He fought to keep a bitter grin from forming on his face.

Akito had sounded worried then as well, concerned for that one instant before he turned on Kana and then she….

"Hatori?" Akito grabbed his arm, waking him from his trance. "What should I do, Hatori?"

"You don't need to do anything, it's nothing serious." He replied through clenched teeth, looking over at the maid who couldn't seem to bring herself to touch the shards projecting out of his foot.

"Go and get someone to help me to the clinic."

"Yes! Right away!" Seemingly relieved at not having to look at the wound anymore, she rushed out of the room.

Akito's hands on his arm tightened. "Hatori, is it really alright?"

It was ironic, how small and harmless the Sohma Clan head seemed now. No trace of contempt or haughtiness. As if he was genuinely concerned.

Hatori knew better, though. Akito was very much like a child upset over a broken toy, the Jyuunishi being nothing more than belongings to him since Akito was incapable of realizing how human the Jyuunishi were. That they were indeed capable of feeling hurt.

That they did indeed break.

Or maybe, Akito just didn't care.

Still, Hatori hoped that it would work.

Whatever it was he was doing.

"I'm fine, Akito. I just need to take the pieces out and bandage it." Hatori replied, on second though decided to add more details for shock value. "Maybe it'll need a few stitches, but it shouldn't be too bad."

'Let me help you, then!" The smaller Sohma pulled weakly at the other's arm. "It's still bleeding!"

"There's no need for you to trouble yourself. You need to rest. Weren't you going to lie down?"

"I don't want to rest!" Akito snapped, "How can I rest when you're hurt?"

_You never had any trouble before._ Hatori thought with disdain.

At that moment, three of the gardeners rushed in with the maid following closely.

"Akito," Hatori said, not hiding the strain in his voice. "They need to help me to the clinic."

The Sohma clan head moved away slowly seemingly confused, stepping to the side as two of the men held up Hatori's torso, and the third, his legs. With the Doctor in this semi sitting position, the men swiftly headed out of the room.

The maids nervously began to clean up, fully conscious of the Sohma master's volatile presence.

Akito followed the men out the door and into the hall, coming to a halt as his eyes trailed the blood spots on the dark wooden floor. Turning back to the room, at spotting the large blood stain on the floorboards, his hands clenched into fists and he let out a growl, kicking a nearby potted plant over before stomping out of the room, leaving the horrified maids behind.

XXX 

"And you know of course how he and Kyo Kun skipped out on New years just so Tohru Kun wouldn't have to stay at home by herself." Shigure was telling his silver haired cousin. "Akito wasn't happy about it of course, but nothing big came out of it."

The two were quietly conversing in the clinic, waiting for Hatori to join them, Ayame's wound having been cleaned and wrapped in gauze. Shigure hoped Ayame wasn't feeling any pain and tried to ignore the growing bloodstain seeping through the gauze, Hatori should be by soon to take care of it. For now, he'd try to keep the other from further wallowing in self-pity.

"So, you see Aya, it may not be as bad as you think. Akito is just in a bad mood now."

"I hope so, Gure San. I really do."

"And I doubt Yuki Kun will be as submissive as Akito would like."

"You're right." Ayame nodded absently, putting his hand to his aching head then pulling away on feeling a light layer of blood on it. He looked down at his hand. "But, I still don't like it."

As Shigure was about to reply, the clinic door burst open, and the men carried Hatori in.

"Ha San!"

"Oh my God, Tori San!"

The two Jyuunishi got to their feet immediately, watching in alarm as the men lowered Hatori to the bed.

Ayame was speechless. Had Akito turned on Hatori as well?

Was he the reason for this, too?

"Ha San, what happened?"

"It was… an accident." Hatori winced as he tried to examine the injury, after dismissing the men.

"Tori San." Ayame whispered, eyes locked on Hatori's bloody foot. "Tori San, I'm so sorry."

"It's not your fault, Ayame." Hatori reaffirmed, still assessing the wound. "I stepped on the broken pieces, that's all."

He turned to his novelist cousin, "Shigure, roll that cabinet over here." Once done, the Doctor proceeded to pull out what he would need to treat the cuts. A few moments later, he addressed Shigure again. "In my coat pocket, you'll find the key to the medicine cabinet. Get me a syringe and the glass bottle that says Lidocaine 1 on it."

Shigure had to look away when Hatori began to pull the shards out of his foot with a pair of forceps, but Ayame was transfixed.

No matter what Hatori said, he was certain that this injury had something to do with him.

Hatori had been hurt on his behalf. There was no doubt about it. First Yuki, and now Hatori.

Why must he always hurt those dear to him?

_"YOU ARE NOTHING!"_

"Ugh." Shigure glanced uneasily over at the bloody mess, "Ha San, let me help you…" He said out of the need to say something, though it was clear that he'd rather be elsewhere.

"I've got it." Hatori replied curtly, "This isn't going to get any prettier so if you're feeling queasy, get out. I can't have more people to treat in here."

"I just wanted to help, Ha San!" Shigure whined.

Hatori ignored him and glanced over at his other cousin. "Ayame. I mean it. It was my fault for not being careful."

"But—"

"Let me look at that cut." The Jyuunishi Dragon interrupted, gesturing at Ayame's bandage. "Why didn't you tell me it was still bleeding?"

Ayame hesitantly stepped closer, letting Hatori unravel the gauze wrapped around his head.

"I think it could use two or three stitches. Other than that, the bruising should fade in a few days. I also want to take an X-ray to—"

"It's not important!" The silver haired Sohma cried, pulling away. "Tori San should take care of himself first!"

"Don't worry, I've anesthetized it so it doesn't hurt as much. Let me do this now." Ayame eventually stepped up again so Hatori could treat him. "Try not to talk or move, Ayame."

_What now?_ Shigure thought, watching the others. Were they supposed to get Yuki or not? Did Akito see what happened with Hatori or not? Was Akito responsible? So many question when so much had happened in the last two hours.

Either way, Shigure was a patient man, he knew better than to act impulsively. Hatori would let him know, soon.

XXX 

The Sohma clan head lay in bed, trying to get some sleep. He kept telling himself that he was tired, that he deserved to rest after meeting with the ungrateful, spiteful Snake. Yet, sleep wouldn't come.

At times like this, it was Hatori who would take care of him, but now Hatori was hurt.

Something stirred inside Akito at remembering Hatori's pale face. His throat tightened uncomfortably and his chest was being filled with something thick and heavy...

He had felt like that before. It was rare, but it happened, mostly with Yuki. It would be after he punished Yuki for being 'bad'. After the exhilarating 'educational' beatings and whippings. Akito smiled at the memory of Yuki's beautiful face contorted in agony and terror. His soft, pale skin begging to be scarred; his beautiful tears, begging to be tasted...

After he would leave Yuki in the darkroom, he would momentarily feel something akin to what he felt now.

It was fleeting, but what was it?

Whatever it was, He didn't like it.

Akito would not allow anything to influence him, even if it was an emotion.

He was God, after all.

And as God, Akito demanded sleep to come to him.

A few minutes later, he concluded that sleep was being disobedient, again.

XXX

Finished with his work, Hatori cleaned up. He was never so grateful for having a mobile X-ray machine in the clinic.

"Ayame. I want you to go and wait for me in my room. Don't let anyone see you. Just go there and wait for me, alright?" Since the plan was to divert Akito's attention from Yuki and Ayame, it wouldn't do for Akito to come to the clinic and find Ayame there.

Nor Shigure, for that matter.

"You too, Shigure. Why don't you take Ayame to my room, then go home. I'll call you later?"

"Are you sure, Ha San?" The gears in Shigure's head were turning already. Hatori was clearly planning something, and if it necessitated him getting such a terrible wound then Shigure was in no position to interfere.

Rather, it would be interesting to see the outcome. He would wait for that call.

_Very clever, Ha San. Akito would never suspect anything from you_

"Yes, I'll call one of the clinic nurses if I need any help." Hatori replied absently.

"Alright then, Ha San." Shigure pulled Ayame towards the door.

"Come on then, Aya!"

"But, Tori San!"

"We'll just be in the way if we stay, and at least you get to stick around. He kicked me out of the entire Honke!" The novelist sighed melodramatically.

Ayame turned back towards the Doctor as Shigure stepped through the door, but Hatori wouldn't meet Ayame's panicked eyes.

Heading towards Hatori's room, Shigure smiled reassuringly at his perplexed cousin, hoping that Ayame would just sit tight and not meddle unknowingly in Hatori's plot.

"Gure San, What's going on?"

"Going on? Nothing's going on, Aya!" Shigure grinned, "But as you can see, Ha San is in no shape for visitors at the moment."

"But, Yuki!"

"Ha San will let us know what to do when he's all done. So until then, you just sit tight and don't leave the room till Ha San says so!" Shigure turned to leave.

"Gure San!" Ayame's eyes were hard, "I'm not so stupid as not to tell something's up. I don't want to be left out of whatever it is you two are planning, so please—"

"Aya, believe me when I tell you that I have no idea what's going on. The only thing I know is that Ha San doesn't want either one of us to run into Akito."

"You think there's a chance?" Ayame's voice carried barely contained hope.

"I honestly don't know. So, let's wait and see what happens, all right?" Shigure gave his cousin's arm a squeeze and let himself out. "I'll call you later!"

XXX 

Hatori was exhausted. Treating the wound was a lot harder than he thought it would be, not to mention that he was getting a crick in the neck from his attempts at a closer look at his foot.

However, it was done with. Finally.

Hatori had no reason to relax though. Akito had not come to see him. So that meant one of two possibilities; either he was asleep or he ran into Ayame or Shigure.

Disaster either way.

_Now what?_

Should he stay in the clinic for the night and pretend to be too tired to pick Yuki up? Or should he go speak to Ayame?

He took one final look at the X-ray he took to ensure no serious damage was done to the bone. He wasn't going to be able to put any weight on that foot for a while. That meant that Shigure would be the one to bring Yuki back, may that be now or whenever Akito demands it.

Easing himself off the bed, Hatori hopped over to pull out a pair of crutches from the clinic closet. Using them, he moved back to the bed and sat back down, pondering his options.

Akito had been indeed worried, but will it serve as a real distraction? Besides, he hadn't really thought anything out before stepping on the tea-set. If Akito's attention isn't diverted with this injury, then it was all for naught. Even worse, Hatori now rendered himself useless to the others in case Akito decides to carry out his plan to 'reunite' Yuki and Ayame.

What on earth had he gotten himself into? Since when has he been so foolish to actually act without thoroughly examining all possibilities? Hatori buried his face in his hands. What use was he to anyone now? What will Akito do if he finds Ayame? Why in the world did he tell Ayame to stay at the Honke? What if…

It was then that Akito made his way inside, looking both angry and apprehensive.

"Hatori!" He spoke in an anxious yet demanding tone, "How's your foot?"

"Better, now that I've stitched it up." Hatori looked up as he replied, trying to stay calm.

"Hmm." The younger Sohma nodded, eyes fixed on the crutches. "You have to use those now?"

"I can't put any weight on my foot for at least a week, Akito."

_What about Yuki?_

"That's too bad, Hatori." Akito sat beside the other and hugged Hatori's arm to his chest. "I was really worried about you, Hatori. I couldn't even sleep."

_Really?_ "I appreciate your concern, Akito. But, as you can see, I'm better now."

"I don't like seeing Hatori hurt." Akito continued, snuggling closer.

"I'm sorry." Was the Doctor's only reply as he let Akito hug his waist tightly.

The Jyuunishi God simply closed his eyes and Hatori watched him until his breathing slowed to that of sleep.

It was then that Hatori allowed himself a small hopeful smile.

XXX 

Yuki looked down at the papers laid out before him, trying to focus on his work. No matter how much he concentrated at the task at hand, he would find himself losing to… giddiness.

When did he ever feel giddy?

He wanted to laugh out loud.

Kyo, of all people!

_Stupid, ignorant, temperamental, outcast…Kyo._

He wanted to cry.

_Kyo._

Never would he have seen that one coming. Ever.

At first, he was horrified. His mind had gone blank, and all he wanted to do was disappear. Basic instinct screamed for him to get away.

He had wanted to die when Kyo let it slip.

Though bizarrely, Kyo never mocked or teased him for it. He didn't disrespect him or pity him.

He understood, somehow.

Kyo!

Strange how understanding could come from the most unexpected sources. The tension that coursed through Yuki's muscles all this time, eased to a now tolerable level.

He felt calm. He wasn't overwhelmed by anger or despair. There was no agonizing anxiety.

His heart wasn't aching every single waking moment.

The hollowness was fading. The cold emptiness was slowly filling with warmth.

_Unbelievable._

But, how long had Kyo known anyway?

Longer than he?

How did he find out about it anyway?

How did he feel about it?

_Irrelevant. Just focus on this now. This feeling, no, the ability to feel after so long._

Yuki was going to focus on himself, just as everyone expected him to. It was like Kyo said, he couldn't let everybody down, himself included.

_"You can't let Akito win!"_

He wouldn't succumb to his sadness, to Akito's darkness.

He wasn't magically over his ordeal, not at all. Though, something about Kyo's harsh words, tinged with raw emotion, finally put all the pieces together.

Everyone's words finally made sense.

Tohru's encouragement, Haru's quiet observations and now, Kyo's own feelings.

Why did it take that long?

Why did it take Kyo's words for that to happen?

It was scary in a way, as if he was waiting for attention from his rival cousin. He, who never showed him a single kind gesture as long as he's known him…

No, that wasn't true. Kyo had been civil lately, even nice. Probably because he knew what had happened.

How did this make Yuki feel? Was the kindness false? Was all this attention a mockery?

Was it a lie?

No, Honda San had said to believe in others, to believe in what they offered him.

That would suffice.

Kyo wasn't faking. He wasn't that type of person.

It was amazing that under that ignorant callous shell was a person who could actually help someone else.

_If I wasn't there myself, I wouldn't have believed it. _He chuckled to himself.

Yuki thought back to the events of the last hour or so, after returning from the woods with Kyo, he had stood in the doorway, almost afraid to step inside the house before Kyo stalked past him on his way to the kitchen to get an ice pack for his sore jaw.

The table was set for dinner, but Tohru was nowhere to be seen.

Yuki went up upstairs, fully intending on crawling into bed and hopefully sleeping the entire night. The encounter with Kyo, though leaving him feeling reassured, was very draining. However, as he climbed the last stair, he had an irresistible urge to see Tohru.

Did he want to talk? Did he want her to see that he was finally feeling like himself again? What did he want? Did he just want to have dinner with everyone else like before?

There was no noticeable light coming from her room. Yuki frowned to himself, was she asleep?

He knocked on the door, not too hard of course lest she be actually sleeping. "Honda San?"

No answer.

He knocked slightly harder. "Honda San?"

He could barely make out the sound of footsteps in the room. He waited and sure enough, the door was opened slightly. His heart began to beat rapidly in his chest, delirious once again at the sight of her. In the back of his mind, he hoped she wouldn't notice how dirty his face or clothes were. Come to think of it, why hadn't he washed up before seeing her?

"Y-Yuki Kun!" She seemed surprised, and maybe even a little frightened. Her eyes immediately dropped to the floor, as if ashamed to make eye contact.

He didn't like the implications her actions made.

"Honda San, is something wrong?"

"Oh no! NO!" She replied much too loudly, "Nothing is wrong at all! I just have a-a headache and so I laid out dinner for everyone… but I-I think I'll just rest for the night."

"Are you sure you're alright?" The room was dimly lit and the light in the hallway was off, so Yuki couldn't make her features out clearly, yet he could tell that she was tired. She tried to sound casual, but he sensed her weariness.

He didn't want to impose any further on her, but he just couldn't leave without offering to make her a bit more comfortable.

"Would you like me to bring up some chamomile tea for you? It might help you sleep." He smiled.

Even in the dim lighting, he could've sworn her eyes suddenly glistened with unshed tears. "O-Oh no, thank you so much…Yuki Kun. But, I already had some and-and I think I just need to sleep. Good night." With that, she closed the door.

Yuki just stood there, blinking as he digested Tohru's actions, which were as close as she would ever get to slamming the door in someone's face.

_What... was that?_ Something was wrong, very wrong. Could she really be ill? He couldn't be sure, the past few weeks were something of a blur and he wasn't aware of everything that happened around him, so maybe she had been ill for sometime and he hadn't noticed?

He felt very guilty. If she wasn't feeling better by tomorrow morning he'd have Shigure call Hatori over.

With one last glance at her door, Yuki headed to the bathroom to freshen up before dinner, pausing on hearing what sounded like a squeak. Looking around, he assumed that it must've been the floor boards.

When Tohru heard the click of the lock on the bathroom door, it was only then that she let the rest of her sobs out.

XXX

Dinner was a quiet affair, with only Yuki and Kyo at the table. The two ate in relative silence; it wasn't comfortable by any means since Kyo was unnaturally tense. Yuki expected as much from his Red haired cousin.

Kyo was just like that, it would take a few days for him to come to grips with what he said and did. Yuki wasn't in any hurry to suddenly become best friends. He knew better than that. He and Kyo would probably never see eye to eye on anything. But still, even a little understanding and peace between them would be …nice.

The only conversation the two exchanged was Kyo gruff, "Where's Tohru and that Damn Shigure?" to which Yuki replied, "Honda San has a headache and wanted to sleep it off, as for Shigure, I assume he's out."

As he finished eating, Kyo's eyes met his across the table then immediately looked away, face red with unhappiness and nervousness.

Yuki found it rather amusing.

They cleared the table after dinner in more silence, after which Kyo headed outside, probably to the roof.

And that was it. Yuki had been sitting at his desk in his room, trying to do his work ever since, and not really succeeding. He hoped Honda San was sleeping well, seeing as he wasn't sure if he would get any sleep tonight either. Nor any assignments done for that matter.

Maybe he should he give Haru a call...?

XXX 

_What are you planning Ha San? Did you hurt yourself on purpose so that Akito doesn't ask you to get Yuki? But then, I would be ordered to do so on your behalf. So, what do you want to achieve? _

The Jyuunishi Dog walked home leisurely. There was no need to do anything until Hatori called him. _I wonder what Akito will do? Angry little Akito, maybe Ha San is on to something._

Exploiting Akito's attachment to him was something no one would expect out of Hatori. Would it be enough to make the Jyuunishi master forget about his dearest Yuki?

Considering all the possibilities made Shigure a little energized. Things had been too quiet lately, and Shigure always enjoyed an unanticipated turn of events, so long as it didn't deter his own plans.

Humming a happy tune, Shigure let himself through the front door of the house. "Tadaima!"

The house was quiet, with no indication of anyone being home.

"Yuki Kun! Tohru Kun! Kyo Kun!" He called. Frowning a little, he walked the expanse of the ground floor, before heading upstairs.

The light in Tohru's room was off.

_Strange, it's only 8:30._ _Much too early for Tohru Kun to turn in…unless, she and the boys are out._

Before improper thoughts and images could flood Shigure's mind, he noticed the light on in Yuki's room.

Knocking, he let himself in on hearing Yuki's soft "Come in."

"Yuki Kun!" the older man smiled, "How are you today?"

"I'm fine, Shigure." Yuki replied, looking up form his work and smiling pleasantly. Shigure had to look twice to confirm what he was seeing, a real smile on Yuki's face.

_Well well!_

"Yuki Kun, You can't hide anything from this old man!"

The boy just shrugged, but continued to smile. "I had a good talk with somebody, that's all."

"A good talk? Is that what they're calling it nowadays?"

Yuki's contentment evaporated and was replaced by a look fit to kill.

"Get your head out of the gutter! I said a talk!"

Shigure raised his hands to ward off any attacks from the irate boy.

"Yes, a talk! I get it! So, I'll just leave you to your work then!" and quickly let himself out.

Chuckling, he made his way back downstairs, Shigure then realized that he hadn't asked Yuki about Tohru or Kyo. But, if Yuki was quietly doing homework, then he could assume that everything was alright.

Kyo was probably on the roof brooding as usual, and though the prospects of instigating his flame haired cousin into a volatile rage were always entertaining, Shigure headed to his room, where he plugged his cell phone into its charger and waited.

XXXXXX

Ok, does 'I'm sorry' cover it? I'm very sorry about the delay; this chapter was a huge headache to write. I suffered my first serious case of writer's block and it was all Hatori's fault! He was being very stubborn, and then Shigure was being too repetitive and Kyo too nice etc etc. I hope it was satisfactory to the readers though, cause I've done all I could ever do for it. I'm still not happy with it, darnit! Not to mention my pc's recent collapse. I had to refromat and reinstall everything and my MS office isn't working...bah.

Hatori says something in the 3rd volume of furuba along the lines of being just as 'dirty or evil' as Shigure when Shigure says that he 'envies' Hatori…now I'm not 100 sure what that might mean, but it got me thinking and I knew that Hatori would help if given the opportunity. Thank you god! I can see why so many people dislike him, while I've always been indifferent to him, I guess now I can say that I'm one of those who dislike him, lol.

Other reasons for the delay include Anime North, which I got to attend thanks to Ina-Chan! Hugs Had my birthday that very same weekend too, and my present to myself? Spending waaaaaaay too much money! TT Also, chapter 94 of furuba which put me in a bad mood for a few days. DAMN EVIL TAKAYA!

Ahem, I hope the next chapter comes along better, and faster too.

Once again, thanks to all the reviewers and readers, especially Kativa-Chan and annenime! You guys rule!

And finally many thanks to Sohma Li-Chan for proofreading. I hope you're enjoying your break!

Sorrowful Memory : THANK YOU! Its only right that I thank you when you took the time to review! HUGS

Kativa-chan : huggles back THANK YOU! And sorry again for the delay, Ayame is such an idiot isn't he? lol. Akito and Yuki are coming up soon!

blu-rain : Haha, who said I wasn't evil? I am EVIL! THANK YOU for the compliments, I tried really hard with Ayame and I'm glad everyone liked it. Now, I want to see more of "Memories!"

Akiko Koishii : How sweet! I'm very happy that you liked it to that extent. I hope this chapter was to your liking too. THANK YOU!

Morbid Flower : Yeah! THANK YOU!

annenime : You know when I got that email from you I forgot that I had actually written to you, and all I saw in my inbox was an email from 'Yuki Sohma' …I think my heart stopped beating for a second there, lol. Sorry again for the delay, I hope this was a decent chapter, I'm still not 100 happy with it As usual your reviews are wonderful; THANK YOU so much for taking the time to take notes. I'm very flattered and grateful.

C.B. : Me too actually, since I haven't exactly written the whole thing yet, lol. THANK YOU!

Gia : Awwwwwww! THANK YOU! That's so nice of you

sweet-mel : THANK YOU for giving me great review yourself! And for your other reviews!

Ying Fa19 : Haha, you're so funny! I'm happy that you love this 'sad and depressing' fic! Lol And yeah, I'm getting the English manga. If you think Yuki looks good there….Yuki always looks good! THANK YOU my fellow Yukiru fan

Aisha C : Yes Yes! Exactly what I was thinking and what I wanted to portray! THANK YOU as always for your wonderful reviews!

animelover630 : You 'hate' Yuki? Wow, well THANK YOU for reading a Yuki-centric fic then! I try my best to bring out as much evil in Akito as possible, I hate him but I love him!

T-c3 : Haha! I am modest head inflates and lifts off the ground see? Wah! Your teacher is evil! Lets send him Akito in a package! THANK YOU!

Crystal : THANK YOU!

Davianne : THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!

kitsune spirit : I'm sorry for the delay! I hope you didn't go through with your threat, although I do appreciate your dedication, lol! THANK YOU!

shinigami's voice : Mai! Where are you? I hope you're doing well. Huh? Who's competing with who? I love your work! Lets just leave it at that! lo! What did you think of Tohru in this chapter? Hehehe. Spanish words? Im not sure. All I know in Spanish is numbers 1-10, hola senior, que es pasa, and ouesta la bibliptequa…I think. So I have no idea what you sai dat the end , lol . THANK YOU!

Ina-chan : I think I know what you mean. But Hatori did actually try something this time, so what did you think? I still like yours better, bah! Yours was so much better that it couldn't help me TT. Haha, I'll see about the spanking, lol. R Junkie smiles widely THANK YOU!

evil-yami-creampuff : Haha, Akito is just a little bug isn't he? I personally want to make sashimi out of him. Well, lets see if Akito's plan is going to actually happen, now that Hatori distracted him! I do find the Yuki/Akito relationship fascinating, but as the manga progresses I find inconsistencies in their relationship. I wish Takaya would just make up her mind!

Sohma Risa: Li-Chan! hugs THANK YOU!

Groovy Dudette : shrieks THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!

foxgrl991 : WOW! THANK YOU! Akito is evil, he does it to everybody, lol! Thanks for reviewing 'I promise'!

Raine-Weather : Wow, you're here! IMPOSSHIBLE! Haha, you too? Ayame's my twin star! Ore wa Ayame da! R Junkie proceeds to molest Yuki and all the furuba bishies haha, THANK YOU!

Tsukitani : Thesaurus? I swear to you that I knew those words when I wrote them, but my brain only has so much room and since I forgot Arabic to learn English now Im forgetting English to learn Japanese…lol! So what did you think about Hatori here? Shigure? Yuki? Tohru? Me? lol! THANK YOU!

akitosohma : THANK YOU! I believe that Ayame is like this, we've seen a passive sensitive Ayame for a second or two in the anime/manga before he returns to obnoxious mode. What are your thoughts on Hatori here?

Haruka Hana : Of course I was waiting for you! Did anybody buy that? Lol! You're too kind! I'm ecstatic that you liked the last chapter. So do you still want to kill Hatori? We're going to have to wait to see what Akito's going to do, since he's so tempestuous. Oh well, THANK YOU!

Youki no ko : Haha, I'll have to see about that! THANK YOU!

SMILEY : THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!

kyo forever : You're so sweet! I hope you liked this chapter! THANK YOU!

Yukako : THANK YOU!

Slacker-Writer : THANK YOU! Glad to know that you're enjoying the fic. And thank you for all the other reviews!

zoneout : THANK YOU!

Skywind16 : THANK YOU! Be happy!

Crazy : Wow! THANK YOU so much! I'm speechless, and that doesn't happen often! THANK YOU! I hope to live up to your expectations and those of your friends.

Next; Tohru's anguish, Hatori's hope, and Akito's heart…or lack of.


	23. A Desperate Place

A Warm Place

Disclaimer I don't own Yummy Yuki or any Fruits Basket character. Fruits Basket belongs to Takaya Natsuki.

A continuation of the anime series laced with some obsessive hallucinations of mine.

_Italics_ thoughts

XXXXXX

There comes a time in life when one wishes they had the power to stop and rewind time.

Despondent, futile wishes like that are often the epitome of regret and dissatisfaction with life and its chaotic cycles

Honda Tohru had wished for such an impossible opportunity before; plagued with guilt for not saying "come back safe." to her mother on that fateful day, Tohru deeply regretted what she considered shortcomings on her part.

But, lamenting was not something Kyoko would do. Nor would she want it for someone else. Most especially, her daughter.

And thus Tohru dedicated the rest of her life to her mother's memory and dreams; to repent, to ease her guilt.

Although the pain would never really heal, though the void in her life left by her mother would never be filled, Tohru wanted to believe that she was strong enough to move forward, without regret.

Because it was what her mother would want.

Tohru wanted to wake up in the morning, grateful for another day.

Without loneliness. Without despair.

She never wanted to feel that way again.

The agonizing guilt, the seemingly endless despair. The bitter loneliness and raw yearning, all bubbling under the lid she tried so hard to contain them with. Her tumultuous innermost feelings threatening to engulf her. The very same dull stabbing pain in her chest; limbs numb, eyes aching. Barren heart and soul that could cry no more.

Reliving that single horrid moment, over and over again.

_"YOU'RE EVEN STUPIDER THAN I THOUGHT! SUICIDE?"_

Haunting her with dreadful implications.

Yuki's denials to the accusation were so weak; a tearful confession, a fragile admission.

She couldn't bear it any longer.

_Yuki Kun._

Her entire being suddenly shook with the urge to see him, to reassure herself that he was indeed, alive and well.

She had to see him.

Tohru hurriedly got out of bed, out of her room and crept down the dark hall and found his bedroom door ajar. Through the crack left by the half closed door, Tohru glanced at the interior of the room, quelling her pounding heart and the voice that chided her for something as improper as peering at a boy while he slept.

_I have to know that he's all right, that's all. _She countered. _That's all, I'll go right back to bed. Right back to..._

Yuki's bed was empty.

Tohru's heart nearly stopped beating then.

"Yuki Kun?" She whispered, her shaking hands pushing the door open. "Yuki Kun, where are you?"

The room was empty.

Tohru hurried out of the bedroom and downstairs, nearly forgetting that there were two sleeping occupants in the house.

"Yuki Kun? Are you here?" She searched the sitting room, the kitchen, the laundry room, the bathroom...Nothing.

The house was deathly quiet.

Tohru's mind, against her best intentions, was screaming at her that she was too late and that Yuki was gone.

Gone.

_No!_

"NO!" She shouted suddenly, "He's not gone! He can't be gone!"

_He's here, somewhere. He has to be here!_

The young woman quickly made her way outside. Sparring no glance to the sky painted in the palette of dusk. The sun's rays had yet to break through.

_He has to be here._

She shivered in the cool breeze. Not even noticing that she was in her nightclothes.

"Yuki Kun?" She called, "Yuki Kun, where are you?"

No reply. The woods were dark, quiet, and ominous.

Her heart pounded loudly in her chest, and seemingly through the night. Loud, and erratic with dread.

_Please be all right, Yuki Kun!_

She ran through the trees, her feet unconsciously carrying her to Yuki's secret base.

_Please!_

And that was where she found him.

"Honda San?" He called out, startled at the unexpected interruption. "What are you doing up so early? Is everything alright?"

"Yuki Kun!" _He's all right! He's here!_

Tohru didn't respond, choosing to quietly bask in relief at seeing a living breathing Yuki.

_He's here. _

The Silver haired Sohma simply smiled at her.

_I guess he couldn't sleep. He must have come here to unwind. _She rationalized while her heart ached to be at his side, helping him with his gardening, smiling with him, reveling in his presence.

But, she knew that she was unworthy of that.

He was too much of a gentleman to say anything to her; he never was one to burden anyone with his problems. He wasn't one who would share his pain.

And she took that for granted.

_Oh, Yuki Kun... I'm so sorry._

"They're dead." He suddenly said, snapping her out of her trance. Smiling sadly, he fingered the browning leaves of a few plants. "I did everything I could, but they still died. Did I not water them enough? Did I water too much? Were they in the wrong spot? Was it not their season?" He looked up to meet her eyes. "I just don't understand why they died.

I don't understand."

She wanted to assure him that it wasn't any fault of his. That he was too kind, too diligent and thoughtful to let any of his crops die.

Nothing like her at all. Biting her lip to keep the tears at bay, she simply nodded. Not wanting to worry him.

She wasn't like him at all.

She watched as he began to uproot the deceased plants.

"It's annoying isn't it? When you've done everything you could but something slips between your fingers anyway?" He stated with a mix of annoyance and resignation.

_I wouldn't know!_ She wanted to scream. _I didn't do anything at all! _

_I nearly lost you, Yuki Kun. _

_How can you just sit there and..._

"I'm so sorry, Yuki Kun." Voicing her thoughts as she lost her battle with those stubborn tears.

It was much too soft for him to hear.

She allowed herself to indulge in watching him, engrossed in his work.

_Alive._

She could not imagine waking up to a house without Yuki Kun. To a life without Yuki Kun.

_Yuki Kun..._

A small pile of uprooted plants grew next to him, with a single stubborn crop left in the small garden. He eventually gave up on the previously gentle tugging methods and pulled mightily.

Slowly, as the roots began to surface Tohru noted something unusual in the soil.

Yuki gave on final pull and—

_Are those fingers? A hand! There's a hand holding on to the end of the root... from under the soil... there's a hand! _

Yuki kept on working, seemingly unaware of the bizzarreness of this particular plant. Then began to dig up the surrounding area, to see what was binding still the roots to the soil.

It was definitely a human hand.

Tohru finally found her voice, "YUKI KUN! STOP! GET AWAY FROM THERE! SOMETHING HORRIBLE'S UNDER THERE!"

She rushed to his side, then stopped dead in her tracks. Horrified eyes were fixed on what Yuki had dug up.

Yuki had unearthed... Yuki?

She could see his face so clearly. There was no mistake about it. His delicate features were unmistakable, locked in the features of sleep. His hand was wrapped tightly around the plant's roots.

He was so still, so pale, as if ...dead?

_Oh god!_

Suddenly, the cool morning breeze became unbearingly icy, despite the rising sun's warmth.

Frigid.

"NO!" She managed through shattering teeth, "Yuki Kun! Get away from there!"

And the sleeping Yuki's eyes opened, focused solely on her, and he grinned; all rotting yellow teeth and dark blue lips. Radiating cruelty and malintention and everything that wasn't Yuki Sohma. He let go of the plant and slowly sat up, casually brushing off soil and dirt.

The other Yuki was still, simply staring at his mirror image.

'Dead' Yuki, eyes still locked with Tohru's, began to hum. He held the terrified girl's gaze for a moment longer before suddenly reaching over to seize the living Yuki's hands, and began to pull him down.

Yuki cried out in shock and surprise but it seemed like he wasn't putting up much of a fight.

The soil suddenly became a rendition of quicksand, thick, bottomless and invincible.

Yuki began to sink, fast.

"YUKI KUN!" Tohru grabbed onto the boy's arm, and pulled back with all her might.

The 'dead' Yuki merely smirked at the girl's efforts and added lyrics to the tune he was previously humming.

"In the back, off the side and far away..."

Yuki's ankles began to sink through the soil despite Tohru's best efforts.

"...is a place where I hide, where I stay."

Tohru shrieked, unable to fight the relentless pull. "YUKI KUN! PLEASE HOLD ON! PLEASE STAY WITH ME!"

It wasn't him that replied, "Stay with you?" 'Dead' Yuki grinned again, "Stay with you and do what? Suffer? Wallow in misery? What is it about this life that is worth staying for when all it does is hurt him? Hurt me?" His eyes mocked her, daring her to say otherwise.

"NO! YUKI KUN LOVES LIFE!" Tohru cried, digging her heels in the ground as the boy in her clutches continued to be dragged under at an unhurried yet unstoppable pace. "HE WANTS TO LIVE! HE WANTS TO…" She paused as she realized that for some inexplicable reason, she was not being devoured by the ground as Yuki.

Only Yuki as sinking through.

"Does he really? I don't think you know him as well as you think you do!" 'Dead' Yuki laughed, effortlessly reeling the unresisting other in, and resumed his song;

"Tried to say, try to ask, I needed to, all alone, by myself..."

"Please stop!" Tohru begged of him, "Yuki Kun! Please. Please wake up! You have to fight this!"

The Yuki in her grip remained pliant.

'Dead' Yuki's features slowly shifted as he sang; face slowly elongating, hair darkening and eyes becoming harder, cruel and hateful.

Tohru now faced the illustrious Sohma head.

Akito completed the verse, his tone dripping with sarcasm. "And where were you?"

"A-Akito San?" Her hold loosened slightly. _Akito San? What is he doing here? _

"Yuki likes it here with me, don't you Yuki?" Akito stated arrogantly, waist deep in the living soil. "He doesn't want to stay with you. All you do is deceive yourself and everyone around you. You tell him lies about how 'wonderful' this world is when you know first hand how cruel and lonely this life is. So, why do you keep pretending that everything is all right?"

"No, I... I..." She could find no answer as Yuki nearly slipped between her fingers, franticly scrambling to get a better hold on his shirt.

"You're cursed too, aren't you? You're a reject too! You're in no position to preach anything about this world because you hate it as much as we do!"

"NO! No, I-I... Okaasan, she...!"

"Your mother? What would your mother say? She'd be disgusted by what you've become. A selfish liar like you chooses not to do anything because you didn't want your comfortable life to change! You don't care about anyone but yourself!" Akito's ebony eyes were deep, endless and absolute. She could feel them tearing at her hope and resolve.

"THAT'S NOT TRUE! YUKI KUN! PLEASE DON'T BELIEVE HIM!" She begged of the silver haired boy, who finally reacted, looking back at her with terror filled eyes. Whether it was a reaction to Akito's words or her own, she would never know.

Staring back into his violet orbs, she found herself filled with despair.

And then, her hands slipped.

Yuki nearly waist deep as well, stumbled and fell forward into Akito's waiting arms. The Jyuunishi God smiled triumphantly and began to rock the younger man like one would a baby. "How could I ever think it's funny how, everything you swore would never change is different now..."

Akito nuzzled Yuki's hair and grinned up at Tohru. "I should thank you, stupid girl. After all, it's because of you that Yuki came back to me. You proved to him that he really is worthless. That no one would ever really care about him, isn't that right, Yuki?"

Yuki didn't reply, visibly trembling in Akito's embrace.

"Why don't you just admit that Yuki is better off without you? You couldn't even hold him for a full minute. So how can you expect to be able to support him when he really needs you? We don't need weaklings like you, and Yuki knows it. Your fake facade, Yuki has already seen through it. Haven't you, Yuki?"

Yuki wouldn't even look at her.

"NO! YUKI KUN, THAT'S NOT TRUE!" Tohru cried, desperate for Yuki to say something, anything. _It's not true! Please!_

"Yuki Kun, please…please believe me, please!"

"Whatever, it's all the same." Akito nuzzled Yuki's hair again, as if teasing the girl. "Yuki will always belong to me. They all belong to me and all you did was delay the inevitable. All you did was give him a temporary life line then let him drown."

The two began to descend thought the muddy ground and Tohru reached out one last time for Yuki.

"YUKI KUN! TAKE MY HAND! DON'T GO. PLEASE DON'T GO! TAKE MY HAND!"

Akito whispered the last verse of the song. "Like you said you and me, make it through..."

"Didn't quite, fell apart..." Yuki finished softly, at last meeting Tohru's panic-stricken eyes, his own cold and empty.

Unrecognizing.

Dismissive.

Dead.

"Where were you?"

The two disappeared beneath the soil.

And the once hard ground underneath her suddenly opened up. Tohru screamed as she was swallowed by the darkness.

XXX

Honda Tohru did not want to move from her spot.

Her back was aching and her legs benumbed, but she didn't want to move.

She felt drained. She had no power to move even if she wanted to.

The sweet sounds of chirping birds could be heard outside her window. The sun streamed through the thin curtain on her window.

It was going to be another beautiful day.

She loved waking up to such a delightful commotion, to the warmth of the sun's rays.

She did, up to today.

Today, she didn't want to hear. She didn't want to talk. She didn't want to feel nor think.

She simply, wanted to disappear.

How long did she spend staring up at the ceiling? Did she sleep at all last night? She had no idea. She didn't care either.

That horrible dream, that vision was much too vivid and all she wanted was to wake up from the nightmare she found herself in.

She wanted to disappear.

But, when did your brain ever listen to you when you told it to shut up? It was a strange kind of reverse psychology, if you didn't want to think about something, your mind purposely conjured all relevant thoughts and images to the topic.

And that's the way it was for Tohru, in fact; as soon as she regained a semblance of consciousness, her rebellious and currently sadistic mind began to replay the record it had been playing on repeat since last night.

_"SUICIDE?"_

Tohru tried to push those memories out of her mind. With every ounce of power she could muster, she moved her trembling hands to her head, clutching weakly at it.

_Please! Please stop! I can't take this _

_"SUICIDE?"_

_It's not true._

_"SUICIDE?"_

_This can't be happening!_

_"SUICIDE?"_

_This can't..._

_"SUICIDE?"_

_Please!_

_"SUICIDE?"_

_STOP!_

Her arms fell back limply to her side.

She wondered if she could just stay like this, if she could just fade away. If she could just—

"Tohru? What's the matter, honey?"

_W-what?_

"Did you wear yourself out again?" Kyoko reached out to affectionately stroke Tohru's hair. "You're always doing that."

"O-Okaasan?" Tohru squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head, as if to clear what she believed to be an illusion, but Kyoko was still sitting on the edge of the bed when Tohru reopened her eyes.

_Okaasan!_

"Okaasan!" Her body was suddenly rejuvenated with energy and she flung herself into her mother's warm, waiting arms.

"Okaasan! Okaasan! I missed you so much!"

She was able to hold her precious mother! It must be a dream! Yet, she was real and she smelled like her and...

"I missed you too, Tohru."

Mother and daughter continued to embrace. Tohru wanted to say so much, but all she could manage was more sobbing.

When she calmed down a bit, she said what was foremost in her mind. "I love you, Okaasan."

Kyoko continued to stroke her daughter's brown locks, "I love you too, Tohru. Now, tell me what's wrong. Why aren't you feeling well?"

The young Honda then remembered her ordeal and felt abashed at having forgotten about Yuki.

"Okaasan!" She tightened her arms around her mother's waist. "I've done something horrible!"

"Oh? Horrible? I doubt it's as bad as you think!"

"But, Yuki Kun—"

"Yuki Kun? Who's that?" Kyoko questioned.

Tohru glanced up at her mother's face before looking away with some embarrassment. "He's... he's a Sohma. He's one of the most important people in my life. He—"

"A boy?" Her mother squealed, "Is he cute?"

Yuki Sohma was much more than cute, naturally. Tohru's silent agreement and unmistakable blush was the answer Kyoko was looking for.

"My little Tohru has a boyfriend!"

"EH? No! NO! It's not... Yuki Kun, he..." Tohru stammered as her mother laughed lightly at her reaction.

"Oh Tohru, you're so cute!" Kyoko exclaimed, greatly amused by her daughter's reaction.

Some moments passed before Tohru composed herself enough to explain to her mother what happened.

"Okaasan, the Sohma's have taken care of me when I had nowhere to go. I owe them so much. Yuki Kun, he's one of my best friends. He's always helping me and he's so kind and gentle." She began to choke on her tears. "He... He..."

"He sounds like a very nice person."

"He is. He's a wonderful, beautiful person, Okaasan."

"So, what happened that's so horrible?"

"Yuki Kun... he had a-a problem. He wasn't coping very well. In fact, he became a little withdrawn." She began with evident difficulty, "I knew that something was wrong, but I didn't want to push him because he really didn't want to talk about it, even though I could tell it was tearing him apart..." She broke off, crying, "I just don't know why I didn't try to help him out. I knew it was something horrible, but I didn't do anything!"

"Oh, Tohru," Kyoko soothed, "You did the best you could, I'm sure!"

"No, no I didn't do anything. Nothing at all."

"That doesn't sound like my little Tohru at all! It's important to look after the special people in your life."

"I know, and he's been so wonderful, it's just—"

"But, sometimes, you just get one chance to act. There isn't enough time for you to stop and think things out. You need to do what you know is right in your heart." Kyoko interjected, "Because in this crazy world, people will always remember your shortcomings rather than your good deeds. They choose to remember the bad. They will always remember what you didn't say rather than what you said..."

Tohru felt her mother's once warm embrace turn cold, just like the words coming out of her mouth and looked up at her mother's face. "Okaasan, what ...what do you mean? what...?"

Kyoko's face was now bruised, dripping with blood. She was pale and her arms were bitter cold.

"They always remember."

Her now unseeing eyes held Tohru's as blood trickles down her chin.

Tohru screamed.

There was a sudden lurch as she fell out of bed and onto the floor, gasping with shock and relief. _It was a dream, just a dream..._

Her blurry vision finally focused. She hoped she was truly awake this time.

_It was all a dream. _

Shaking hands pinched flushed cheeks, lightly. Hesitantly.

She twisted the flesh between her fingers slightly until she was convinced.

She hoped she was awake.

_Okaasan. _

Looking down, she took note of her clothes. They were the very same she wore yesterday, wrinkled and covered with patches of mud. Even her hands were blackened with dirt.

Those birds were still chirping, too.

Tohru crawled over to her small dresser, dragging herself up to the mirror. She had to make sure that she was awake. She couldn't handle another sadistic vision, even if she deserved them.

Her hair was a bonafide mess. Her eyes were red and puffy, as were her cheeks.

So, it wasn't a dream, nor a nightmare.

_Yuki Kun really had wanted to..._

She glanced away from the mirror as her eyes began to burn with unshed tears.

_Why? I just don't understand!_

Further thoughts were interrupted by a knock on her bedroom door.

"Tohru Kun!" Shigure called, "Are you all right? I heard a crash."

"Ah... y-yes, Shigure San! I just fell out of bed, that's all!" She jumped to her feet and replied a little too nervously, as if he could see her through the closed door.

There was a momentary pause before he answered. "All right then, I'll see you at breakfast, if you're up to it."

"Yes, of course! I'll be right there!"

Was it her imagination, or did he sound a bit tired?

Maybe it was her imagination...It probably was.

It was always her imagination.

A little fantasy she created.

After all, she had selfishly assumed that after nearly two years of staying with the Sohma family, that she knew them well enough to be of use to them. Not that she was pretentious, but it was because every day she spent with them was an experience and an opportunity to learn more about some of the most important people in her life.

She thought she was learning about them.

She thought that she would be able to help them and love them.

Tohru wanted to be more than just 'the help', she wanted to give something back.

Why was she able to go after Kyo?

She was so scared then. The smell, his eyes... it was so overwhelming. She followed, still. And the emotional surge of the aftermath was just... wonderful.

Why... why was it different with Yuki?

Didn't he deserve her help? Didn't he always look after her and help her?

Why did she run away? Why didn't she confront them?

Torhu didn't, couldn't comprehend what those words did to her. Why she no longer found the strength to breathe. How they tore her soul out, and left it bare and mangled.

What could be more terrifying than hearing those words?

Was it hearing them from his own lips? Unthinkable admission, or plain deceit?

Those magnificent eyes, haunting her as they shone with unabated betrayal and hurt.

What else had Yuki hidden from her? Didn't he trust her? Were they not friends?

Weren't they...?

No matter, there was no excuse for the horrible and irresponsible way she had acted.

Even if she wasn't worthy of his companionship, the truth of the matter was that she should've realized the extent of Yuki's suffering.

It was plain as day.

Everyone else could see it. Everyone else hurried to his side. Those who cared for him, all made them selves useful to him.

Except her.

She would've made more of an effort of soothe his worries.

She would've made him talk to her.

She should've talked to him.

She should've helped him.

She should've been there for him.

She should've ...

Instead, just so that she wouldn't be 'pushy', just so she wouldn't be 'intrusive' and just so she could be 'supportive', she nearly let him die.

Always forgetting to say the little things. The little things that were so important.

Just like with her Mother.

Why did she choose to stand back and watch?

Why did she stay quiet?

When she initially decided upon this course of action, it seemed so reasonable. But, if one was nursing an injured person or animal back to health, wouldn't one stay by their side and provide them with treatment rather than stand by and watch them fight against their illness 'alone'?

Would you help lift a burden off someone's back or would you watch and occasionally call out encouragements even as you watch the person falter under the weight?

Tohru could not find a rationale for her behavior in the last few weeks.

What had she done?

How could she face the Sohmas?

How could she face Yuki?

How could she look in the mirror and not be disgusted by what she saw?

If it was her mother, would she have confronted them yesterday? Or would she have run like she did?

_No, Okaasan was no coward. _

_I choose to be one, though. I chose not to confront Yuki about his feelings, I chose to run away last night. _

_Akito San was right, I was scared._

_I just want to stay with everyone, just the way we are. _

_I don't want to understand what it could mean to Yuki Kun or I. _

_I don't understand..._

_Okaasan, I just don't want to lose anyone else... I don't know what to do! I'm so scared of being alone, and I-I don't know what to do..._

XXX

Shigure headed downstairs, rubbing at his chaffed cheek. A few minutes ago, he had awoken to find himself sleeping on the floor, face pressed against the wall.

For the Fiftieth time since then, Shigure checked his phone... once again, there were no calls. Not from Hatori, nor from Ayame.

How long had he waited for that call before he had fallen asleep?

Why didn't they call?

Did something happen? And if so, what could it be?

If Shigure was in a better mood, he would say that no news was good news. But, he wasn't.

When it came to Akito, when it came to his best friends being hurt; when the players in his intricate plot were no longer acting out their parts as planned, he worried.

It wasn't even about Yuki. As much as he would hate for Yuki to return to Akito's side, he had more pressing matters to attend to.

He debated whether he should call Hatori or Ayame himself, but he couldn't risk calling them with Akito around.

It was so infuriating, this waiting.

Not knowing.

Shigure had promised himself that nothing would ever escape him, especially when it involved Akito.

Because every encounter with Akito was a lesson; the young God's reactions, words, actions. They were all filed and stored in Shigure's memory, to be utilized as necessary.

He was studious when it came to his God.

He wanted to know everything that made Akito tick. Whether it was the most crucial or insignificant detail, Shigure wanted to know it.

It wasn't that hard -- after all, Akito more often than not, displayed the mentality and the motives of a spoiled, immature brat. One whose possessiveness of the Jyuunishi knew no bounds, it was beyond reason.

However, Shigure knew that Akito was far from stupid.

The young man had shown manipulation skills and influence worthy of his title. Everything Akito said or did was to achieve a greater goal; utter submission by the Jyuunishi, undeniable fear and worship.

The cunning beguiling mind intertwined with a demanding ill temperament was something Shigure believed to know quite well. Well enough to begin his own manipulations.

It was a bit of a chore for Shigure, having to work his way up form his lowly position in the Jyuunishi circle. He wasn't like Yuki, who was given immediate favor, nor Hatori or Kureno who were God's designated protectors.

He was simply Shigure, the Dog. Second to last.

Even though Akito's favorite list was compiled based on the young man's lust for male companionship, Shigure knew he had to be more than a pretty pet for the Jyuunishi God. He had to become an irreplaceable asset.

He would not watch from outside the circle, ever.

He would draw out the roles for all the players. And they would dance to his tunes.

Watching Yuki's confrontation against Akito had filled him with a sense of pride, seeing someone else gaining courage. It would prove to be interesting. Then again, he hadn't expected Yuki to stay passive forever. While there were qualities within him that Akito desperately tried to destroy with fear and punishment, Tohru Honda reinstilled life in those traits.

They would easily be integrated within Shigure's grand scheme.

And that was what bothered him the most about what happened last night; Hatori and Ayame were not designated to become involved.

Shigure loved his silver haired cousin dearly. He was much more than a friend or a blood relation. He was a companion and a kindred soul, but Shigure had never expected Ayame to act, for he never displayed anything remotely close to an interest in involving himself in the matters of the Sohma house.

And Hatori, who had lost both an eye and a love for Akito...

It was all too much at one time.

Shigure would have to make some strategic amendments. A re-examination was imperative.

Maybe it would make things all the more amusing in the end, maybe it would complicate things.

Maybe it would bring everything to a screeching halt.

He checked his phone for the fifty first time that morning and frowned again.

Shigure didn't know, and he hated not knowing.

XXX

Hatori didn't remember a time when Akito's sleeping face greeted his first thing in the morning. As possessive as Akito was of the Jyuunishi men, Hatori had luckily not been sentenced to be the young God's constant companion, as Kureno, or eternal prisoner, as Yuki was. Nor was he a comfort to his God, like Shigure.

No, Hatori simply existed to look after Akito's ailing body and suppress an unfortunate person's memories, as ordered.

He wasn't sure how it made him feel, waking up next to Akito. Love? Pride? Anxiety? Fear?

Hate?

One reprimand, one hateful glance from God and the Jyuunishi would feel their world end. One moment in God's favor was of transcendent magnificence.

It didn't mean that the Jyuunishi weren't aware of God's doings. On the contrary, it was just that they were unable to find it in themselves to blame him, or hate him.

It was impossible.

Whatever it was, Hatori could only blame it on the blood bond.

Glancing back down at the sleeping Akito, Hatori pondered what should he do.

_Ayame!_

He had left him waiting all night!

And Shigure was probably waiting for his call.

_Damn it!_

Hatori shuffled off the bed and reached for the crutches, all the while trying to stay quiet.

Akito shifted in his sleep, muttering something incoherent, and burrowed himself in the heat left by Hatori's body.

Hatori covered the younger man with the now discarded sheet, and made his way out.

Luckily, he wasn't seen by any of the Inner house occupants nor caretakers. Once within his quarters, he found the silver haired man slumped in his desk chair, sleeping. Hatori couldn't help but smile, regardless of the circumstance, a drooling Ayame was always a sight to behold.

Leaning closer to examine the bandage wrapped around Ayame's head, the Jyuunishi Dragon was surprised when he met with two pale green eyes.

Two pale green, bloodshot eyes.

"... Tori San." Ayame rasped, "I waited for you."

"Go back to sleep, Ayame."

He didn't seem to hear Hatori, and slowly rubbed at his drooping eyes. "Yuki?"

"I...I don't know. I'm sorry, Ayame. I can't bring it up with Akito. And I can't really do anything right now."

"Hmm." Ayame nodded, blinking his eyes slowly, as if in a trance. "And Yuki?"

Hatori chuckled, "Ayame, you haven't heard a word I said. Why don't you go back to sleep? I'll take care of it."

"Tori… San?"

"What is it?"

"You... lying to me... before."

"What?" Hatori leaned closer to hear his cousin's sleepy words.

"Tori San would...never just get ...hurt."

"Ayame, you..."

"Sorry." Ayame whispered, "Sorry."

The dark-haired man watched a single tear fall from the Jyuunishis Snake's slumbering eyes.

Hatori felt even more powerless at that moment.

"It's me who's sorry, Ayame." Hatori ruffled his cousin's soft hair slightly, "I'll take care of it."

_I need to take care of it, somehow._

Covering Ayame up with a blanket, he then reached for his phone and dialed Shigure's number.

It didn't even ring once.

"Ha San! Is everything all right?" Shigure asked anxiously.

"I honestly don't know. But, I'm sorry for making you wait Shigure."

All this apologizing frustrated Hatori.

"Did Ayame—"

"He's sleeping. Akito is sleeping as well."

"I'm not sure what to say, Ha San. It's obvious that I'll have to be the bad guy this time—"

"Maybe it's better if I wait for Akito to ask for Yuki again?" Hatori wondered out loud.

"But, isn't he expecting Yuki already?"

"Don't worry about it. I'll take care of it." _But how?_

"Ha San," Shigure, sensing his cousin's turmoil, said "Maybe it's better for Yuki to go now. You and Aya are in no shape for—"

"Don't worry about us." Hatori sighed, trying to quell his building frustration, "How is Yuki?"

"Surprisingly well today. He hasn't said anything, but he seems so much calmer. Before he was wound so tight!"

"That's good, Shigure. That's good to hear."

"Ha San, you don't have to take on everything by yourself, you know."

"I just don't want him to have to face Akito until there's no other option. He shouldn't have to."

"I understand. Though, I think Yuki Kun would surprise you. If anything, this incident seems to have toughened him up."

"Still, not until there's no other way."

"Ha San! That loving streak you're always trying to hide is brilliantly shining through! Yuki Kun is so lucky to have Ha San's Love on his side!" The Novelist exclaimed, "If only I was so lucky!"

"Shut up, Shigure."

"You're just full of surprises, aren't you, Ha San?"

"What do you mean?" Hatori began to regret making this call.

"Come on, Ha San! What happened yesterday is quite obvious. But I didn't think you would ever try something like that."

"Try what, Shigure?"

"Deny it all you want, but I think as of yesterday, you are officially my hero."

"The last thing I want in the world is to be your hero."

Shigure ignored him and continued, "Plagued by guilt and duty, Sohma Hatori dedicates his life to righteousness and love!" He chuckled momentarily, then sobered. "He'll forgive you, you know. You don't have to be so rough on yourself."

Hatori was taken aback. Then he smiled despite himself, there was no need to deny it. This _was_ Shigure he was talking to.

"Even if he does, I don't think I'll be able to forgive myself."

"Yuki Kun isn't the kind of person who wishes ill on others. He won't be happy to know what happened with Aya or you."

"Don't you dare say anything to him!" Hatori said in a hard tone.

"Ha San! Do I seem like a cruel and unfeeling person to you?"

"Yes."

"...That's so cruel! And here I was ready to help anyway I could!"

"That's because this is your fault as well."

"Ouchie! You're so harsh, Ha San!"

XXX

Kyo had had about enough. He couldn't recall a time when he felt so drained. Understandably, he hadn't gotten much sleep last night. Not that he'd been sleeping well before.

It was all that damn Yuki's fault.

First it had been discovering Shigure and Hatori's secret, then it was Yuki's uncharacteristic behavior, and finally yesterday's confrontation.

_That Kuso Nezumi._

He supposed that he felt a little liberated. A teeny tiny bit, having said what he'd kept bottled up for so long. Maybe Yuki felt the same way too, but Kyo wasn't going to even think about that.

Because, it was all Yuki's fault.

They were such a bother, those stupid thoughts and images.

_Damn this dysfunctional family and their stupid problems. _

Yuki had waltzed downstairs like some god-damned royalty again. Even if he was still half-asleep, it irritated Kyo.

Because, while Yuki was sleeping like a baby, he was up half the night thinking about that knife.

What if Yuki had indeed used it?

What if no one had found him in time?

What if Tohru had found him?

Disturbing thoughts, they were.

Feeling responsible for Yuki bothered Kyo. So, he left his cousin standing at the foot of the staircase and walked into the kitchen, where Tohru was busily making breakfast. He watched her for a few moments, before speaking. "Yo. How're you feeling today?"

She nearly lost a finger there. "OH!" She turned to face Kyo. "Kyo Kun! I'm so sorry about that. I'm so sorry about last night, but I wasn't feeling well and... Kyo Kun? Are you feeling well? You don't look—"

"You don't look any better." Kyo interrupted, taking a step towards her, frowning on noting that her eyes were much redder than normal. "Hey, have you been—"

Surprised by his sudden closeness, she dropped the knife she was holding.

"WATCH OUT!"

Thankfully, no one was hurt and Kyo picked the fallen knife off the floor. "Be careful, will ya!"

"I'm so sorry, Kyo Kun!"

_What is it with everyone and knives?_

Kyo wasn't happy with her apology, "If you weren't feeling better, then you should've stayed in bed!" _Stupid girl! Why does she keep working herself half to death?_

"I'm sorry." Tohru repeated, meekly now. "But, I have so much work to do and—"

The Redhead decided to make himself useful and proceeded to set the table, ignoring Tohru's spluttering and protests.

Carrying a pile of bowls and plates out to the table, he ran into the still dozing Yuki.

"Oi, Kuso Nezumi! Get out of the way! Some people are actually helping out here. Not that you'd know anything about that, princess!"

Yuki didn't reply. Instead, he continued moving forward, as if trying to walk through Kyo. The redhead hurriedly moved out of the way, trying to keep the dishes from breaking.

"OI!" Kyo growled, now livid.

Yuki made his way to the fridge then stopped, and resumed snoozing.

Kyo continued to curse the other as he set the table. "Kuso Nezumi!"

That settled it. Kyo absolutely had to get out of the house. He was going to go mad if he stayed here!

Stomping back to the kitchen, Kyo saw Tohru staring at the sleeping Yuki in a way he was sure he didn't like.

He would leave, but only after breakfast.

XXX

Yuki, now fully awake, took in the appearance of his three housemates.

Tohru looked drained, Shigure was distracted and Kyo was more agitated than usual.

No one was eating.

What was going on?

"What's going on?" Yuki asked no one in particular, hoping to get some answers.

Kyo merely glanced over at him before looking away, more flustered than before. He shoved some food in his mouth, more as a distraction than anything else.

Tohru nearly dropped her teacup. She gave Yuki a large, nervous smile, but didn't say anything either.

Shigure did speak though, and quite cheerfully too. "Nothing is going on, Yuki Kun! You're the one who wouldn't tell me what was going on yesterday! That _'talk'_ you had."

Yuki suddenly blushed, and got to his feet with the intent of impaling Shigure with his chopsticks while Kyo began choking on his food.

Tohru did drop her teacup then.

"Oh, I'm so sorry!" She cried out. "I'll clean it up right away... ano, Kyo Kun?"

Shigure bent down to help Tohru pick up the porcelain pieces while Kyo was pounding on his chest, seriously choking.

"Here you go, Kyo Kun!" Tohru began to hand Kyo another cup but dropped that as well.

"Oh, I'm so sorry!"

Yuki's eyes widened; Tohru's hands were visibly shaking, horribly so.

He supposed that he had to save that Baka Neko. He handed Kyo his own cup while he turned to Tohru.

"Honda san, it's all right." He soothed as Kyo gulped the tea down "Kyo's all right now."

He walked over to Tohru's side and helped her and Shigure pick the broken pieces up.

Kyo took in a huge breath, his color returning to normal. He looked down at the cup in his hand, then up at Yuki. "Oi! Kuso Nezumi! Was that your tea?" He growled.

"Yes." Yuki replied absently.

"That's gross! Don't tell me you drank out of it?" The Jyuunishi Cat got to his feet, looking mighty unhappy.

"I should expect that you would be ungrateful to the person who just saved your life." Yuki glared at him.

"No one asked you to, you bastard!"

"You're right, it's my fault! Next time I see you choking I'll just grab some popcorn and enjoy the show!"

"You cold-blooded Rat, shut up!"

"Why don't you, you stupid idiot?"

Just as Kyo was about to reply, there was the distinct sound of sobs.

"Tohru Kun, they're just teacups, there's no need to cry." Shigure said quietly.

"I'm sorry." She babbled, "I'm so sorry."

The teenaged boys gave each other one last dirty look before hurrying over to the girl's side.

"Honda San, are you all right? Are you hurt?" Yuki asked her gently, taking her hands in his and looking them over.

Was it him or did she seem to be crying harder now?

"I'm so sorry." She kept saying, clutching Yuki's hands tightly.

"Stop apologizing, it's fine!" Kyo sighed with some irritation, eyes focused on Tohru's hands. He ground his teeth but didn't say anything else.

"You're still not feeling well." Yuki chided her softly, glaring over at Kyo again for his insensitivity. "There was no need for you to exert yourself. Why don't you go back to bed?"

"We'll clean up here, Tohru Kun. You go lie down." Shigure insisted. "We'll manage."

She nodded, refusing to make eye contact with any of them "Thank you. I'm so- sorry." and with that she got to her feet and hurried upstairs.

The three males followed her with their eyes.

"Poor Tohru Kun, she always works so hard." Shigure stated as he headed to the kitchen, looking for a broom.

"She wasn't feeling well yesterday. She didn't have dinner." Kyo mumbled.

"Should we call Hatori?" Yuki asked Shigure as the older man began to sweep up the broken pieces.

Shigure didn't even pause as he replied, "Sure. We'll wait a bit to see if she's feeling a little better, then we'll call him. We don't want to embarrass Tohru Kun after all, because if it was a female problem then she obviously wouldn't share the graphic physiological details with us and—"

"SHUT UP!" The outraged teenagers yelled.

A few minutes later the mess was cleaned up and all three sat down to finish their breakfast.

They stared at their plates for a moment, then at the rest of the food and finally, up at each other before they began to clear the table.

It seemed like Tohru wouldn't be the only not having breakfast that day.

XXX

Hatori had spent a few minutes in his quarters, trying to come up with something, anything to keep Yuki from coming to the Honke.

To keep Akito from asking for Yuki.

He kept coming up empty though.

If he hadn't been able to do anything yesterday, why would he now?

Making his way back to the clinic, he found Akito stirring to wakefulness.

He let out a sigh of relief, glad to have come back in time and waited for Akito to fully awaken.

"Hmm," The young god mumbled, "Yuki..."

And any hope Haotri had simply shattered. He clenched his fists angrily. What would it take for Akito to simply leave Yuki alone? What would it take to appease him for a few hours?

"Hatori?"

The Dragon looked up to find Akito awake.

"You're here."

"Yes, Akito." Hatori hurriedly hobbled over to the young god. "What is it?"

"I had a bad dream, Yuki was in it." Akito wrapped his arms around Hatori's shoulder, searching for comfort. "He was calling for me. That stupid girl was keeping him from me."

_What?_

"I need to see him."

Akito moved his face level with Hatori's, eyes boring into the Dragon's.

"Is he here yet?"

XXXXXX

A quick summary of my life in the last 3 months. Studying for board exam, writer's block, pc crash, reformatted pc, lost office software, moving house, cleaning house, got office software, studying for Board exam. And just yesterday, burning 2 of my finger tips, scrapping the skin off another two and nearly cutting one off while chopping tomatoes. I am a busy girl!

I apologize for the extremely long wait, but believe me it was out of my hand. TT You can direct all hate mail to the PEBC.

Ok, by now I'm sure many of you have heard about chapter 97, and of course it basically threw this whole story out the window. But you know what? I decided to continue it for a few reasons;

1) I know for a fact that many of the readers don't have access to the latest manga chapters so they wouldn't know about this possibly horrible little revelation.

2) There are only about 6 chapters to go at most and it would be a silly waste to leave it unfinished.

3) Akito will always be to me, what he was before chapter 97.

Rest assured people. Regardless of the time I take to post, I will not abandon this fic!

So back to the story. Well, what can I say except that I wanted to torture Tohru a bit. Why? Because it's fun and the girl deserves it! I didn't want to linger too much on Yuki's thoughts, because he's been the focus of so many chapters, and hopefully I wont have to write Hatori for much longer, I hate writing him. --

The Song 'Dead' Yuki and Akito were singing is "somewhat damaged' By Nine Inch nails.

Thanks again to the wonderful Li-Chan (who finally updated her evil fic, Shindemo ii) for proofreading. And thanks to those who took the time to email/threaten me; especially Youki no Ko, Haruka Hana, annenime, Shinigami's voice (Update damn you!) and Karen B. Kativa Chan! Where are you? Haven't seen anything by you or from you in months! I hope everything is ok. Finally, a warm welcome to January Marlinquin to the wonderful world of Yuki and furuba.

I joined a round robin gp for furuba, check us out (My turn hasn't come up for the main fic yet, but I wrote for 2 of their challenges. Read 'em!)

CC: I'm sorry! I'm hoping you're alright. THANK YOU!

Akiko Koishii: I'm happy you liked Hatori, THANK YOU!

Ina-chan: You are in no position to call me evil for cliffhangers!

Haruka Hana: Yup, passage chapter it was in a way, but I'm glad it was enjoyable. I'm trying very hard to keep it from getting tedious. I hope I've been successful. THANK YOU!

T-c3: I saw that you updated your fic too, but I don't have time to review just yet. I will soon though. THANK YOU!

Asanji: THANK YOU very much for your compliments! I try very hard to keep people in character. I'm delighted that you enjoyed it!

Raine-Weather: Will you please stop updating your funny fic? Lol, every time I try to catch up, you post a new chapter! I WANNA REVIEW! lol, I hate Akito aswell, except I hate him like I hate Seishiro from X/1999 and Itachi from Naruto. EVIL THEY ARE! THANK YOU!

Paperclipluver: Yay! THANK YOU!

Gia: I knew you'd like the Ayame scenes, more coming up soon! THANK YOU!

SMILEY : We'll see! THANK YOU!

akitosohma : Akito is depressive and depressing, that's why he was so difficult to write. Um yeah, my impression of the clinic was that it was detached from the main house and thus it would've been ok to have an X ray machine, but apparently, as showcased in later chapters, the clinic lacks much equipment. But its too late to change that, so please forgive me. THANK YOU!

Sorrowful Memory : XHUGSX THANK YOU!

annenime : I Wish! I didn't even notice till you mentioned it! Maybe I did it subconsciously? Well, As much as I like Shigure, recent manga developments have made me dislike him, so I'm not sure if I want to focus on him. Tohru gives me a headache too, lol. I believe I emailed you but you ignored me. TT I hope everything is going well for you! THANK YOU!

hiei-luver45 : THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!

Kativa-chan: Im glad evcerything is well with you! XHUGSX THANK YOU!

ela-chan : LOL! THANK YOU!

Aisha C: I was hoping to convey that as much as Hatori wanted to do something, what happened was completely unintentional, but he thought it would work to his advantage. THANK YOU!

Blueraingurl : THANK YOU so much for your compliments, and I know what you mean about Kyoru…grrr! ME YUKIRU FAN!

superham99 : LOL! Yes, I too want to hackhackAkitohackhack! THANK YOU (Also for adding me!)

Zarame : THANK YOU!

baymer99 : WOW, THANK YOU for the awesome review! That's very very flattering! I try hard and I'm happy to see that it turned out well!

Youki no ko : Yes, as much as I don't like Hatori, I don't believe him to be cold or uncaring, he just doesn't know how to portray emotion like that, and he was brought up in a way where tradition was instilled in him. I try to give each character as much benefit of the doubt as possible, lol. And wasn't Ayame depressing? THANK YOU!

Sohma Risa: GET SOME WRITING DONE DAMNITALL!

January Marlinquin : Bunny! I LOVE YOU! LOL!

shinkukitsune : THANK YOU! Ah the manga is evil! You probably don't really want to know (But feel free to email me if you want details) I'm ecstatic with the response I've been getting about characterization. THANK YOU again!

Nezu : Yo da bomb! THANK YOU!

ShadowBlue: Wow, you haven't seen furuba? WATCH IT! THANK YOU!

KoopaTroopa2 : I think about 5-6 chapters are left, please keep on reading! THANK YOU!

justareviewer : THANK YOU! XHUGSX

Shin's Voice : May THANK YOU! Isn't Hatori so sad, and Tohru is due for some trauma. Yuki and Kyo eating amused me too! NOW YOU GO AND UPDATE!

Yukako : err…I'm sorry? Lol, THANK YOU!

Next; Yuki soothes Haru's turmoil, or does he?


	24. A Wavering Place

A Warm Place

Disclaimer I don't own Yummy Yuki or any Fruits Basket character. Fruits Basket belongs to Takaya Natsuki.

A continuation of the anime series laced with some obsessive hallucinations of mine.

_Italics_ thoughts

XXXXXX

Once again, Hatsuharu found himself lost within the lengthy, shadowy halls of the inner Sohma estate. He had woken that morning with Yuki on his mind, and decided to pay said relative a visit. So, he had breakfast, dressed and left the house.

Two hours ago.

Haru's quiet sigh had no negative sentiment behind it. His lack of direction wasn't a source of particular irritation or ire to him. Right now, he simply wanted to see Yuki. His love would guide him there, eventually.

And so Haru continued his quest for the exit.

"I was shocked to say the least! Hatori Sama on crutches!"

The teen paused in midstep. _Crutches?_ He looked to where the silhouette of three women huddled together to gossip was visible through the shoji.

"Are you really surprised? They're always ending up with all sorts of injuries! It doesn't take a genius to figure out who or why!"

"Did you hear about Ayame San?"

"Now that was a surprise! I had no idea that Akito Sama summoned him."

"That's the thing, I believe he came on his own."

"I don't believe it, Ayame San?"

The women continued to converse, but Haru was no longer listening. Reaching for his cell phone, he dialed Hatori's number.

Voice mail.

He then dialed Momiji's. Since Momiji lived with Hatori, surely he would know something.

"Haru!"

"Ne, where are you?"

"Are you lost, Haru?" Momiji giggled.

"Where are you?" Haru repeated.

"I'm on my way to my lesson!"

"Ah."

"Is something wrong, Haru?"

"I wanted to go see Hatori-niisan but..."

"Oh!" Momiji's carefree tone teetered fleetingly as he responded. "Hari has a headache, so he's going to rest for the day. It's a good thing today's Sunday!"

It was common knowledge that Hatori didn't know what a vacation was. Momiji's message was clear as day; Hatori was indeed hurt and hiding it.

"Ah, ok. I'm going to see Yuki."

"Ehh? No fair! I want to come too!"

"I'll send Honda San your regards."

"Ok! Bye bye"

Haru had to hurry, now, to find his way out of those 'mysterious' halls.

XXX

Homework was, once again, completely out of the question. Not that Yuki had a problem burying himself in his schoolwork whenever it seemed like everything was going wrong in his life; he had a lot of experience in that regard.

But, never when Honda San was ill.

First it was what had happened yesterday, and now this. Was the entire world against his math homework?

It wasn't the fact that she wasn't feeling well. Often, she worked herself to the point of collapse. She had no regard to her own health or well-being, her sense of commitment to responsibilities was serious and often exaggerated.

This time though, it was much more than a simple case of physical exhaustion; she had acted in a manner quite unlike herself. Her smiles were a mockery of anything resembling contentment, her eyes dull and miserable. Yuki could easily tell-- after all, he had mastered putting up a cheerful front to hide melancholy. To his knowledge, Honda San had no such experience.

It was much too transparent, and very, very frightening. Surely, Shigure and Kyo didn't think that lightly of it.

It was frustrating. He wanted to help, but if she didn't want to share, then he had no right to infringe on her.

And did she really slam the door in his face last night?

No. He had to be imagining things. He must've hit his head when he was out with Kyo yesterday. Honda San would never…

_Honda San would never…_

It was no use. His mind simply refused to concentrate on the Calculus.

Time for some gardening, then.

XXX

Haru finally stood in front of Shigure's house. Luck had been on his side earlier, having run into Kagura. She had been getting ready to meet some colleagues of hers for a group project, and happily dropped Haru off on her way.

What was he waiting for? He could now see Yuki!

His phone rang. It was Momiji.

"Haru." The usual cheer in his voice was absent, and replaced by a downbeat seriousness. "I'm sorry I couldn't talk before. I didn't want the driver to overhear."

"Momiji?"

"Yesterday, Aya went to talk to Akito about Yuki."

Haru had guessed as much. So finally, the older brother was taking an active part in Yuki's life. While Yuki would be skeptical about it, deep down he would surely be grateful until he learned about Ayame's quite probably injury. Haru absently wondered if Ayame's scar was in a visible location.

"Then Hari stepped on a piece of the broken tea-set when he went to treat Akito. He hurt his foot really badly."

_That explains the crutches. _

"Hari wouldn't tell me, but I think Akito wants Yuki back." Momiji lowered his voice to whisper apprehensively. "That's why Aya went to see him."

_That bastard! _Haru clutched his phone tightly, feeling his annoyance with Akito begin to cloud his thinking, and had to push his rage back before he succumbed to it.

"Haru? Are you still there?"

"Un yeah, sorry."

"Hari is trying hard to keep it from everyone—"

"Yuki wouldn't want this hidden from him." Haru interrupted.

"I know, but Akito will—"

"I'm going to see Yuki, now. Maybe..."

"Haru—"

"I know."

"Good luck." Momiji said before hanging up.

Haru slowly pulled the phone away from his ear. This was a dilemma, certainly. What could he say? How could someone ask Yuki to return to his personal hell? What right did anyone have to do that?

Yet, this was exactly what Yuki feared would happen. He knew that someone would be hurt in his place, and would most certainly not take lightly to their concealing the matter from him, especially when it involved his brother.

Yuki would not want to feel that he owes his brother anything, and then of course, there was the guilt.

How could Haru tell him, fully knowing that Yuki's sense of obligation would probably send him to an early grave, or into the arms of a sadistic bastard?

"Oi, Haru! What are you doing here?" Kyo yelled at his relative from the safety of the roof, where he had been reclining.

"Ah--Kyo."

The redhead rolled his eyes at Haru's passive response, "We're not in the mood for visitors, so why don't you just leave?" Kyo knew that if Tohru knew Haru was over, she'd try to play the good hostess. He had to get rid of him before he set foot in the house.

"Ignore the Baka Neko, Haru." Yuki said as he opened the front door, walking up beside Haru and looking up to give Kyo a mocking glance. "He's just frustrated because no one will play with him today. He has to make do with his scratching post."

"HEY!"

"Yuki." Haru's hand slowly latched onto his cousin's shirt.

"I was going for a walk. Would you like to join me, Haru?"

"OI! Don't you ignore me, Kuso Nezumi!"

Yuki and Haru paid him no attention, and walked off into the woods.

"OIIIIIII! KUSO NEZUMI! I'LL SHOW YOU, DAMN IT!"

"This way, Haru."

The younger Sohma smiled contentedly as they walked. "You look good.

"Really?"

"Rested."

"I did get a goodnight's rest, yes."

"It's more than that."

Yuki's face held a thoughtful expression as he led the way to the secret base. "I was going to give you a call last night."

Surprised, Haru asked. "Why didn't you?"

"I don't know. Maybe because I didn't want to bother you."

"It's never a bother from Yuki."

Haru watched Yuki walk up to the small garden and kneel down to inspect the crops.

"Haru?"

The Jyuunishi Ox knelt down beside his cousin, waiting for Yuki to speak as he fingered the leaves of a mysterious plant.

"Why, why do you think people help others? Give them advice and whatnot?" Yuki's face was hidden under his bangs as he worked. "Why?"

Haru watched the other teen quietly, pondering the answer to the question while lamenting the obvious reasons behind it.

"I guess I just want to know why people would go out of their way to help someone."

"Why does Yuki help people?"

"Eh?" The grey-haired teen turned to face Haru, puzzled.

"Why does Yuki help people?" Haru repeated, "Why does Yuki go out of his way to help someone? Why is Yuki kind to everyone at school?"

"That's—that's different."

"How?"

"I-I'm the President. I have to be helpful."

"Before that. Yuki was the same before he became President."

"Haru." Yuki sighed, "Sometimes obligation or a sense of responsibility makes people do things."

_Why does it always go back to responsibility or obligation, Yuki? "_I will never understand why Yuki puts himself down." Haru got to his feet and walked to a nearby tree, settling himself comfortably in the shade its foliage provided. "People help others because they don't like seeing other people unhappy. It's a natural part of being human. Yuki is naturally a kind person, even if he doesn't believe it."

"But—"

Haru cracked an eye open. "Something else is on your mind."

Yuki hesitated then smiled embarrassedly. "You know me too well, I guess."

The white-haired teen returned the smile confidently.

"I guess I'm feeling a little overwhelmed lately. Everyone has been so kind. They took the time to help me out, and I don't want to let anyone down. It's a little scary."

Haru opened both eyes and sat up, patiently waiting for Yuki to continue.

"It's so pathetic isn't it? Rather than drawing strength from them, I find myself just wanting to hide. Honda San told me to believe in others. You said a lot of wonderful things too, even—" _Kyo. _

Haru easily sensed the turmoil in his cousin's heart. He had to find the words to resolve this issue. He got to his feet again, and walked back to Yuki's side.

"It will be hard to believe the words of others if one doesn't believe in themselves."

Yuki frowned slightly.

"You can spend all day mulling over the reasons why anyone would say or do anything. Sometimes it's for purely selfish reasons. I want to help Yuki so he can get better, because I want you to be happy. But it's not just for Yuki; it's for me as well. Does that make it a bad thing?"

"No."

"If I want to thank someone for putting their faith in me or helping me, is that pathetic?"

"No."

"The plants in Yuki's garden, they are cared for by Yuki. Why?"

"I-I like gardening. It calms me." The fairer Sohma was becoming increasingly flustered under his cousin's unrelenting gaze.

"Everything in the garden depends on Yuki." Haru sighed, then turned to grant his companion a lazy grin. "Even if Yuki is going to eat them in the end."

Yuki giggled. "I hope you're not trying to tell me that people help each other so they can eat them."

"No. But, just as Yuki likes caring for his garden, but can't find the reason shouldn't make it a distrustful thing.

The fact that so many people want to help Yuki, should tell Yuki something."

_Please, just stop doubting yourself. _

His uncertainty and apprehension were plain to see. Thus, Haru decided that this wasn't the right time to tell Yuki of what had befallen his brother. Yuki still had doubts about his own strength, and something like this would only further upset him. Especially with his unwavering sense of duty.

_Screw obligation. _

Yuki's well-being was Haru's number one priority. Because of all the time he spent in Yuki's presence, and although Yuki was still an enigma in many ways, Haru reckoned he knew enough to make this choice now. And even if Yuki got angry with him for making such an important decision on his behalf—

Even if he hated him.

It didn't matter, so long as Yuki was ok.

Haru believed he knew Yuki well enough to try to protect him from himself.

He didn't take into consideration the fact that Yuki seemed to know him equally well.

"What is it, Haru?"

The younger teen snapped out of his daze, and looked over at Yuki to give him a reassuring smile. "Nothing."

Yuki didn't look convinced. He looked away uncomfortably. Spotting a nearby twig, he reached for it, using it to poke at the grass under his feet. "Haru, I'm sorry."

"There's nothing for Yuki to feel sorry for." Haru quickly responded.

"No, there is. I'm always unloading on you. It's selfish of me."

Haru reached for Yuki's hand. "I always want to hear what Yuki has to say."

Yuki's reply was a beautiful smile, and he allowed Haru's hand to remain on his. "I know. Thank you."

He pulled away a few moments later, and got to his feet. "The truth is, I think I already have things sorted out. I know what I want to do. But, I was being silly about it. I worried you, and I'm sorry."

Haru followed suit and got to his feet.

"I know I said that it's scary that so many people put their faith in me, that they helped me. It is scary. But, it's also a wonderful thing. I can choose which way I want to perceive it--and I want it to be wonderful.

They chose to confront me, and make me see differently. They didn't treat me with contempt or mal-intention. They didn't hide their thoughts. I was able to hear so many things, both good and bad, and they all helped.

Not everything has to be sugar coated to be useful, you know?" Yuki looked back at his relative shyly, then straightened and took a step closer, his face now serious. "So you can tell me whatever it is that's on your mind. I want to hear it, good or bad, because they're your thoughts. Because, I could never perceive anything you say as a burden."

"Yuki."

He didn't say anything more, merely searching the other's eyes for a sign of insincerity or hesitation. He found none.

"Maybe I need to threaten to eat you." Yuki joked, referring to the earlier jest.

Hatsuharu couldn't help anything he did after hearing that. He couldn't help wrapping his arms around the other forcefully; he couldn't help sobbing half in joy and terror.

"Haru!" Yuki sensed the turmoil immediately, and was quite alarmed by it. This wasn't simply a moment of Haru's proverbial affection.

Something was wrong.

"Haru, what is it?"

"I'm sorry."

"What?"

"Promise me you'll be ok." Haru tightened his arms.

"I-I promise. Please tell me what's wrong, Haru!"

"Aya-niisan—" There was more trepidation in his heart than in his voice, but deep down, he knew. Hiding this would do Yuki no good in the end. Yuki didn't want anything hidden from him, he was finding the strength within him to overcome it all.

_This is the right thing to do._ His mind agreed.

Then, why did it feel like Haru's heart was tearing to pieces?

XXX

_What the hell am I still doing here?_

Kyo frowned to himself, as he lounged on the roof. He had spent the majority of the day there. He often did so to escape from facing his housemates and/or his problems. Sometimes, Tohru would join him there. Sometimes a fellow feline would find its way to him.

But mostly, he was alone. And he liked it like that.

He didn't like people seeing him thoughtful and unguarded, even Tohru.

Speaking of whom, maybe he should go check on her. He doubted that she had had anything to eat all day. And since that selfish girly Rat had gone off with Haru earlier in the day like nothing was wrong and Shigure would more likely harass her rather than—

_SHIT! _

He sat up abruptly upon realizing that he had left an ill and most likely helpless Tohru at the risk of falling into Shigure's perverted clutches.

His mind reminded him that Tohru was, more often than not, helpless.

Just as he leapt down from the roof, he found himself facing a solemn looking Yuki and a worried Haru, both of whom had just emerged from the woods.

The three teens faced each other in silence for what seemed like an eternity.

He supposed the anger that had suddenly possessed him upon thinking of Tohru victimized by Shigure's perversions was evident in his face, since Yuki seemed a bit hesitant to speak. Even Haru took a step closer to Yuki, as if to protect him from the oncoming wrath.

Usually, Kyo would have been offended that Haru felt the need to protect Yuki from him, but he could sense it.

He immediately knew that something very bad was about to happen.

"I'm going back." Yuki stated simply. His tone was soft, yet determined. Yet, Kyo could sense that it was tinged with dread. Yuki was trying to convince himself more than anyone else. Kyo was a hunter; he knew how to read his opponent. He could nearly smell Yuki's fear.

He didn't like what he saw, or felt.

Looking over at Haru's miserable expression, and the tremble in Yuki's eyes, he wondered why the hell he hadn't left the house earlier.

XXXXXX

Yes, send all death threats and so on my way. I deserve it, I won't deny it. I suck. TT

When I started writing this chapter, back in November, I just could not get it right. Haru was being weird, and I didn't even get past the second page. It was then that I decided to revisit the story from the beginning to get some ideas, and upon reading it from beginning to end…I found myself cringing, a lot. HOW THE HELL DID ANYONE PUT UP WITH MY CRAPPY WRITING! YOU ARE ALL ANGELS! I had to redo the whole thing until I was satisfied, and so I did. I hope the writing flows better from chapter 1 to this one, and if it isn't, well, I know I suck. TT And if the formatting is weird, I still cant figure out QuickEdit.

All thanks due to Lisa for putting up with me and my crap.

T-c3 : I Swear I'll get to your fic! Please forgive me! THANK YOU for being so understanding!

Sohma Risa : HUGS

annenime : YOU! LOL! Yikes, good luck with all of that. Shigure's grand scheme involves himself ultimately, he's evil but recent manga developments have painted him in a very pathetic and disappointing light. I hope this isn't permanent. Akito had come in to the clinic and clung to Akito like a barnacle the night before, yeah? THANK YOU!

Akiko Koishii : I know, eh? THANK YOU!

Kativa-chan : I'm sorry about the excruciatingly long delay. I'm glad you're well. THANK YOU!

akitosohma : Sure you want to know? Email me. I don't like Tohru myuself either, she's a perseverant isn't she? THANK YOU!

January Marlinquin : Bunny! You always give me such awesome praise, I'm not worthy! Just wait till you're done with school! THANK YOU!

Yukako : YOU ROX MY SOX! THANK YOU!

Aisha C : errr…THANK YOU? Lol, please don't kill me.

Paperclipluver : Xloves backX THANK YOU!

michelle le : I'll try my best! THANK YOU for your very very sweet review! Yuki IS awesome isn't he? I want him to realize that life is beautiful, no matter what it throws at you.

Ws : Um, ok? Lol, THANK YOU!

Animelover : THANK YOU! I don't think Yuki and Kyo could ever really become friends, but… I think they would be rivals who respect each other.

Kate: Im glad, THANK YOU!

gatogirl1 : Email me and Ill go into the long boring details for you, THANK YOU and your friend! I'm glad you like it!

Justareviewer: YES! I know the writing has improved in later chapters and that's why I had to redo the whole darn thing. I hope the dream sequence made more sense on the second reading, I find pacing it well a little trying but I'm happy that you think it's a good pace! THANK YOU!

Cardcaptor Soldier : THANK YOU!

butterflygirl21 : Chapter 25 is nearly done. It should be up in a time period of less than 6 months, lol. THANK YOU!

mistic fox : HAHA! Awesome! That's hilarious! THANK YOU!

TikusMalas : Nope, I will never give this up, but life sucks. THANK YOU!

Billy the Kangaroo : Ohhh, I did try to make this sad, and it made me cry myself! HUGS THANK YOU!

SMILEY : HAHA! Its not May yet, I shall live! Lol! THANK YOU so much for your compliments, Im glad you like it!

rabidfruitsbasketlover : Don't worry about it, there will be nothing that wasn't already established in the manga/anime canon. Lol, I promise! THANK YOU!

anonymous : THANK YOU! I Know, eh! EVIL TAKAYA!

Prince : I wonder if you read the rest? Lol! THANK YOU!

And just because I can't get enough of Yuki, Haru and Kyo, I think I'll keep them around for a little yelling, a little cursing and much much angsting next time.


	25. A Torturous Place

A Warm Place

Disclaimer I don't own Yummy Yuki or any Fruits Basket character.

Fruits Basket belongs to Takaya Natsuki.

A continuation of the anime series laced with some obsessive hallucinations of mine.

_Italics_ thoughts

XXXXX

It took things like this to convince Kyo that staying at Shigure's house would only lead to early insanity -- his own. As that particular thought surfaced to consciousness, all the rage and violent intentions which had been directed at a certain perverted Novelist only moments before, suddenly changed course and had a new target: 

Yuki Sohma.

"WHAT! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN BY GOING BACK?"

"Exactly what it means, Baka Neko. I'm going back to the Main house."

_THE HELL? _

The anger nearly blinded Kyo, electric fury coursing through his muscles and filling him with the need to inflict serious bodily damage on the other; it was only a matter of time before he lost all coherence. "WHAT THE HELL'S WRONG WITH YOU? YOU'RE GOING BACK AFTER EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENED? ARE YOU SOME KIND OF SADIST OR ARE YOU JUST STUPID?"

"Keep your voice down!" Yuki snapped, angry eyes darting over to the house before returning to meet Kyo's. "Honda San is resting, and she doesn't have to hear any of this!"

"Why you little—! Don't you _dare_ say that!" Kyo, barely able to restrain his vocal cords, retorted in a cutting, livid tone instead. "Don't you ever talk like you give a damn about her when you of all people know that she'll kill herself with worry over you if you go!"

"Hey—" Haru began before he was interrupted by Kyo's tirade.

"I thought you were better than this, Kuso Nezumi! I thought you were actually going to take a stand for once and not let that Bastard control you. After everything you put everyone through. After everything…" _Everything_ _you put me through, you bastard! I should've never bothered with a coward like you!_

Overwhelmed with all the things he wanted to say to Yuki, Kyo realized that most of all, he wanted to scream and yell and slap some sense into that perfectly expressionless face. His heart wrenched in his chest with utter betrayal and disbelief.

How could it have ended up like this?

He couldn't believe that after what transpired between them yesterday, that Yuki would still give in so easily. That Yuki would once again, look at him with disdain.

For the past few weeks, he'd acted against his better judgment and everything he's ever known to be true, and in the end, had it all meant so little? Was Kyo wrong to share all that he had with the person supposed to be his mortal enemy? Was it all just a waste of time and effort? Was it wrong to worry about Yuki?

As grueling and draining as it was, yesterday's events had filled Kyo with an unprecedented sense of relief…of accomplishment, hope and belonging. It was as if overcoming what haunted him was riding on yesterday's events, his ability to finally forgive Yuki a little.

To forgive himself a little.

Kyo was never much of an optimist. He knew that things wouldn't be back to the way they were before Yuki got sick, but maybe, someday they would. Maybe things would get better, even. Maybe the very Jyuunishi member that constantly shunned and mocked Kyo, would finally truly accept him. Maybe after this Kyo wouldn't be the reject Cat. Surely he would not be cast out again, at least not by Yuki. Not after the two had realized so much about each other.

But, here was Yuki, trampling all over everything like he didn't give a damn.

Now as the two teens faced each other, Kyo could detect the trepidation running through Yuki's limbs, but it didn't matter; Yuki was ultimately impassive. Arrogant. Cold.

The traitorous Rat.

It really hadn't meant anything at all. Nothing.

_Damn you! Damn you for doing this to me! And damn me for ever believing that you would ever care about anything I say to you, or anyone ever than yourself. _

_Damn You… _

"You're just doing what it is you do best, Rat." The redhead spat with blatant distaste, before turning to face the other way, dismissing the superior Jyuunishi's presence. "Running away! But then, that's what you've been doing your whole life, isn't it? You never face your problems on your own and just runway or give in like the cowardly, useless Rat that you are!"

"Why You—!" Kyo heard Haru growl, and tensed unconsciously in anticipation of the inevitable brawl. A physical brawl to release his anger would be just what he needed.

"You have no right to drag people into your messes if you're going to be too pathetic to resolve them!"

Yuki's indifference wavered slightly as he replied. "I never asked for anyone's help, don't you dare guilt trip me about that!"

Outraged, Kyo turned to point accusingly. "You ingrate! Do you just expect people to watch you try to kill yourself and do nothing?"

"Kill yourself?" Haru's alarmed eyes turned to look at his beloved cousin, who in turn called up every ounce of will power he had not to meet that glance.

"Shut up!"

So even his precious Haru hadn't known, eh? Kyo smiled grimly upon realizing that he had exposed Yuki's secret. _Serves him right!_

"Yuki! Is that true?" Haru demanded urgently.

Yuki continued to ignore Haru's questions and leveled Kyo with a incensed glare. "How dare you…?"

Happy to have the upper hand for now, Kyo continued. "Oh, is the little Rat upset I spilled his big cowardly secret? You make me sick!" He then turned his back to the two again, "If that's the way you want it, you little Bastard, why don't you just get lost now and spare us all the headache instead of worrying Tohru to death with your crap?"

"Wait—" Haru tried to intervene again.

"I don't have to explain anything to an outcast like you!" Yuki spat, equally furious. "And even if I did, you would never, _ever _understand anything because you're simply too stupid!"

With that, Yuki turned on his heels and quickly headed back to the woods, and after a moment's hesitation to give Kyo's back a confused look, Hatsuharu followed quickly.

Kyo was abruptly left alone to seethe. _Too stupid! How dare he? How dare he just walk away!_ Refusing to be ignored, he was about to pursue the others his sensitive ears picked up what sounded like movement in the general direction of the house.

Suddenly afraid that Tohru may have overheard, he rushed towards the house, only to find a stray kitten lying by the porch, nursing a bleeding leg.

"Of all the…" Kyo swore as he approached the feline to help, mindful of his obligation to help his fellow felines. Yet as he reached down to pick the kitten up, it mewled in complaint, and huddled further away.

The redhead was in a furious hurry, and didn't have time to question the unusual reaction one of his own had to him. "Come here, damn it!"

The kitten's response was another protesting mew.

"You're hurt damn it! Why the hell don't you want my help if you came to find me?"

It only looked on with distrustful, hurt eyes.

"Fine! You just stay there then!" The teen had had just about enough confusion for the day. He decided to go check on Tohru, as originally planned. He wondered what he would do if he met Shigure just now. Did the older Sohma overhear? If so, what would he do? Would he encourage Yuki to return or to oppose Akito?

Shigure was much too unpredictable, much too self-centered. Kyo couldn't be sure that any advice he'd give would be in anyone's interest other than Shigure's. Maybe it was better that he wasn't around. Yuki wasn't going to listen to anyone anyhow. Yuki could rot in hell if that was what he wanted, Akito would see to that for sure.

Kyo stopped at the foot of the staircase, almost afraid of what he would find in Tohru's eyes if she had truly witnessed everything. What could he say to her? Would he ever be able to comfort her, or would she only require that from Yuki? Couldn't he just convince her that Yuki was nothing but a waste of skin? That she shouldn't ever waste a moment's thoughts on someone hell-bent on destroying themselves?

His throbbing head threatened to burst as it analyzed what had happened and assimilated all possible scenarios. He hated hesitation, it was for the weak, and weak he was not! Fortunately, remembering the possibilities of Shigure's unspeakable actions was enough to overcome any uncertainty. "Stupid Yuki! Stupid Shigure! Stupid kitten!" He grumbled, making his way hurriedly, but quietly up the staircase, angrier now as he remembered the injured kitten. "What the hell does it want if it doesn't want my help?"

At Tohru's bedroom, he steadied himself and reached out to open her door with a shaking hand. He peered in to find her sleeping quietly. While relieved to find her 'safe', Kyo fought the temptation to walk up to the side of the bed and brush those stray hairs out of her face.

He wanted to touch her so badly. He wanted to know that he wasn't tainted--wasn't a disgusting monster. Because even after he uncovered his dark history to Yuki, he had rejected his help. Because even his own kind were rejecting him now, apparently.

But this wasn't the time for this. She was ill and he had a sick kitten downstairs that he couldn't escape looking after. He wasn't going to be selfish like Yuki and burden others with his problems. He decided that he would do his utmost to protect Tohru from Yuki's ill fate. He would not let her involve herself with the Main house and risk jeopardizing her stay with them. Akito could do whatever he wanted with Yuki, but he would never lay a finger on Tohru.

Feeling the grimness of the situation, Kyo attempted to distract himself by dwelling on the feline's unusual behavior. He muttered to himself as he headed down the stairs, "Stupid…doesn't it know that it's hurt? Doesn't it know that it can't help itself? Stupid blind, arrogant—"

_Wait a minute!_

Kyo froze as he made sense of his own mumblings. It wasn't about him at all. The feline hadn't rejected him.

_Yuki! _

"God damn it!" He hurried over to the kitten and picked it up, ignoring the way it dug its claws in his hands in protest, and hurried back outside. There wasn't much time left, but if there was anything he had to do, it was to try one last time.

_Don't let me be too late!_ He thoughts frantically, hurrying through the woods.

_Don't let me—_

Kyo's heart pounded as he spied his relatives through the trees. Unconsciously clutching the kitten closer, he gathered his courage and called out. "Hey, Kuso—"

Yuki's back was turned away from him, shoulders shaking with barely contained emotion. Haru's expression was one of loss and confusion.

They didn't realize that he was there. Kyo moved closer with unconcealed feline grace to hear what the two were saying.

"You weren't going to hurt yourself?" Haru asked quietly, yet assertively.

"No, I wouldn't… Kyo misunderstood, I was just holding a knife."

The younger teen didn't respond, only moving closer to look Yuki in the eye, as if to affirm the truth of the words spoken, which only served to upset Yuki further.

He took a defensive step back. "I said I wasn't going to! Is my word not good enough for you anymore?"

"That's not—"

"I'm so sick of this! You all think I'm some kind of weakling who's about to crack, right? You all think 'of course poor Yuki is going to snap from everything Akito did to him', right?"

"No, that's not true." It was Hatsuharu's turn to move away, uncertain of what to say in response to Yuki's onslaught.

"Don't lie to me! I can see it all over your face! Just like Nii-san's and Shigure's and Honda San's and Kyo's…" The silver haired teen looked away, overwhelmed with emotion. "All of you…see me like that.

"And…and you're all right. I am a weakling." Yuki admitted dejectedly.

Haru grasped his shoulders, gently turning him, and Kyo could only stare in mortification as Yuki's features crumbled before him.

"I thought it would work. I thought if I took my time and did everything everyone told me, it would be ok. But, what else can I do? There's nothing else I can do." Yuki whispered brokenly. "There was nothing I could've ever done and now I have to go back and everybody was—"

Haru hastily wrapped his arms around the other, wanting to offer any comfort he could. "It's ok." Haru replied quietly. "It'll be ok"

"But—"

Kyo took the scene in, internally kicking himself for reacting as brashly as he did.

"That room is still waiting for me, and I know I'll just give in if I go back there."

"No, you won't. You're stronger than that."

"Everyone says that, but I know I'm not. I can't even save myself, and now I'm expected to save someone else…"

Seeing the two so 'pathetic' disgusted Kyo. If the two weren't going to put up a fight, then he sure as hell was.

"Keep it up then!" He suddenly bellowed, wincing internally as the shout jarred the kitten in his arms, and surprising his cousins. "That's what Akito wants right? His pretty little mousey all quiet and obedient, right? Keep it up, Yuki! Just keep telling yourself that you're weak. I'm sure it makes Akito's job way easier to know that his victims are pathetic and would never put up a fight."

Hatsuharu looked torn between consoling Yuki and ripping Kyo to bits. Kyo took note of that, and decided to take advantage of it.

"And you! Why don't you tell him what you think instead of cuddling him? If he's too blind to see what's good for him, why don't you tell him since you're the only one he'll listen to?"

The younger teen looked back at Kyo in surprise, then down at Yuki and found himself unable to respond.

"It's ok, Haru. You don't have to say anything." Yuki said softly, as he tried to pull away, "There really isn't anything to say. I'm sorry for putting you on the spot."

"You have nothing to be sorry for." Haru soothed, a bit dazed as tightened his hold in return. "It's not your fault. Kyo's right, though. You shouldn't have to go like this."

"I know, but…" The silver haired boy broke off with a soft sob.

"Just let me come back with you so I can kick his ass." Haru responded, tearful rage creeping into his voice. "God damnit!"

The human heart certainly worked in funny ways. Just mere minutes ago, Kyo's heart had been feeling the weight of Yuki's 'betrayal' to yesterday's impromptu confession. The heaviness had deepened into the much familiar rage and distrust, and Kyo longed to put an end to the cause of this pain. He wanted to hurt Yuki, physically or emotionally…just to elicit a reaction, so he wouldn't be the only one hurting. His fisted hands had been ready for action, the half-moon marks left by his nails throbbed, calling for release from hurt, begging him to act and make Yuki stay.

Make him sorry.

And now, he was hit full force with the despair of the two teens, one that closely mirrored his own. The righteous rage was no more, leaving Kyo with the only other emotion he despised more than Yuki; shame.

Yuki clearly had been trying to stay calm. Attempting to leave without involving others, and Kyo callously undid all his attempts at composure effortlessly with a few choice words.

He felt ashamed, and very guilty.

The redhead turned away from the emotional scene in front of him, not wanting to see what he was responsible for, not wanting to hear. He busied himself by stroking the soft fur of the now sleeping kitten.

_I didn't mean to, it's not my fault!_

This was all too much for Kyo. Clenching his eyes shut, Kyo grit his teeth, squeezing his eyes shut in hopes of drowning all sound, all thought, all emotion. Everything.

_It's his own damn fault for being so pathetic!_

He wasn't responsible for this. He had already tried to help – he promised Yuki he would help; yet it seemed he could not interfere further. As infuriating as it was, he could not involve himself in a way that may speed up his unavoidable imprisonment.

Too bad, he had tried. He really did want to help Yuki, really, he did…

_If I knew that it would've ended like this before, I never would have bothered in the first place because Akito will always get his way; there never was a reason to bother._

And the hopes Kyo recently had built on potential acceptance, of Jyuunishi inclusion all evaporated into thin air.

It hurt. But, not more than Yuki's faint hiccupping sobs, knifing at Kyo's already wounded heart.

It wasn't fair.

Yuki had desired freedom so strongly. It would be easy for Kyo to assume that one could oppose Akito's orders, but he was an outsider to the circle. He had never been subject to the malicious rules of the inner house. Yuki had explained that much yesterday.

For Yuki, it was all he had ever known. Yet, with all the resolve Yuki had shown, Kyo could still not understand how he gave in so easily? What had transpired between him and Hatsuharu in the last hour to suddenly change the course of things?

It couldn't be just Akito, because Yuki had already lashed out against him, regardless of admitting to being weak.

Something else must've happened, because there was no way that Haru would somehow manage to convince Yuki to return on his own.

But, if Yuki didn't fear Akito's reprisal to his actions, what did he fear enough to force him to return with so little resistance?

What?

"_I can't even save myself, and now I'm expected to save someone else…"_

"_Are you worried that Akito'll take his anger out on someone else?"_

Those words suddenly surfaced in Kyo's confusion-laden mind. They made sense, though. That had to be it.

"Who is it?"

Yuki's sobs by then had already softened into miserable wheezes, and he lifted his wet face to glance at Kyo with surprise, from what he could see over the taller Haru's shoulder.

Kyo tried again, demanding an answer, yet reluctant to make eye contact. "Who got hurt?"

Yuki and Haru shared a surprised look before Yuki answered, "N-Niisan."

There was a momentary sense of accomplishment felt by the Redhead at having successfully read the reason for Yuki's decision. Yet, it was short-lived, because it didn't matter who got hurt, even if Kyo did wonder how Ayame of all people managed to get himself involved, because Yuki was still going and the air was just so heavy with hopelessness.

Kyo hated feeling despair more than hesitation, and to him one thing was clear; there was one person to blame now. Kyo turned to give Haru a dark look. "It was you, stupid Cow! This is all your fault!"

Where was all the 'love' that Haru supposedly had for Yuki? If he cared about the other as much as he claimed, then why would he disclose of something instrumental in sending Yuki back? How could he not know what this kind of information would make Yuki do? How could he not know about Yuki's bizarre sense of guilt and responsibility?

"Why'd you say anything at all? Didn't you know what would happen?"

Hatsuharu stiffened under the verbal onslaught, but could not bring himself to reply as an indignant Black and a guilty White fought for dominance.

"No," Yuki rasped, gripping Hatsuharu's shirt as he attempted to clear his throat. "Haru didn't do anything wrong."

He looked up at said relative, "It's not your fault, Haru. I wanted you to tell me. Thank you for telling me."

"But, Yuki—" Haru began miserably.

"No. I mean it. Don't ever feel responsible for anything."

"But—" Kyo tried again, still needing a new focus for his fury.

"Just drop it, Kyo. I said it's not Haru's fault." Yuki declared, "I'd rather know about this now than later."

Kyo glowered, upset that his accusations had been negated so easily, while a momentarily grateful Haru tightened his arms around Yuki.

There were a few more moments of awkward silence, as each was lost to his own thoughts.

Kyo would never understand how Yuki's mind worked. How could he not feel upset to be informed of his brother's injury? How could he not feel upset with Haru? What in the world was he thinking?

This nobility of Yuki's was disgusting. Then again, Yuki and Haru had a bond that Kyo never understood. It was apparently strong enough to withstand this incident.

The jealousy Kyo felt at being an outsider to such a relationship was equally disgusting.

_That's what I get for trying to help! _

It would be easy for Kyo to simply scowl, take offense and walk away. To end his involvement with this here and now. But his feet refused to move, a part of him wanting to see this through.

Maybe if they found a loophole, Yuki would find freedom. Kyo would find freedom.

"This was bound to happen sooner or later." Yuki tiredly stated. "Akito will always get his way."

The Jyuunishi Cat found it ironic that his cousin's words would reflect his thoughts. But, it was as Yuki said, unfortunately, no such escape existed. And Kyo's mind and body felt laden with fatigue and disappointment.

"So, are you…going back right now?" Kyo asked, attempting to mask his hesitation with nonchalance.

The fair Sohma teen nodded as Haru wiped away gently at his tears, before rubbing at his own wet cheeks.

"Can I…Is there anything anyone can do?"

"No." Yuki whispered achingly. "This is all my fault. It's my problem, no one should get involved."

After everything that happened, after all that was said and done…

That was it? They had to give in to Akito, just like that?

It was over before it even started.

That was the most disgusting thing of all.

Was this it? Would his own approaching imprisonment be this way? Would he be alone or would others be involved, yet just as helpless? Would he be denied the right to say goodbye?

Goodbye?

"What about Tohru? Are you going to say something to her?" Kyo didn't want to use the term 'goodbye'. As horribly complicated as everything seemed, he refused to believe that this was goodbye.

It was frightening to think that way.

"She-She's already not feeling well. Even if she was, if I try to say anything, she'll see right through me. It'll make everything so much harder."

Tohru was perceptive in that sense, yes. Still…

"A note." Haru mumbled. "Does Yuki want to leave Honda San a note?"

After a second's consideration, Yuki nodded in agreement. Finally leaving the warmth of Haru's arms, Yuki headed towards the house, Hatsuharu quickly following. As he walked past Kyo, his smile was that of poignant gratitude. Kyo didn't know what to make of that.

He watched them until they disappeared into the house, and finally, it was quiet.

Kyo always liked the peace and quiet, but not like this. Not when it was so thick with melancholy. Not when the silence was that of a numb acceptance; a resigned fate and terrified anticipation.

It all weighed so heavily and he nearly collapsed under its weight. It was harder to breathe now.

He nearly forgot about the small bundle in his arms. He gingerly put the now sleeping kitten down before he let out and loud and frustrated yell. Kyo rushed forward and attacked the first unfortunate tree in his way. Letting loose with a fury of kicks and punches, fraught with anxiety. The kitten immediately woke and attempted to escape, terrified.

Still, Kyo couldn't release the source of his rage. Because every cell in his entire being was on fire, every thought was laden with unprecedented dismay.

He didn't understand it. Why did it have to be like this? Why? Why did that bastard have to get his way again? Why did Yuki have to go back? Why did he also have to succumb to an unwanted, imminent fate? Why were his eyes stinging? Why? Why? Why?

And in the gentle breeze that blew through the quiet, beautiful woods, the sky was clear and blue…

Kyo was suffocating.

XXXXX

I think I should try to update sooner so I don't have to keep putting myself down when I take too long. -- Thanks to Kativa chan, Golden meliades, Emanuelle the mysterious and awesome justareviewer, HelloKat, Tc-3 and everyone who took the time to review or email. I LOVE YOU ALL! 

Poor Kyo, as I was writing this chapter I realize how much he was trying to do, how he's such a good person and all…and I HATE IT! I HATE KYO! GRRRRRRRRRR! I hope no one thinks I made Yuki a wuss, but I think its just the shock of everything Kyo said to him, his insecurities about going back and the fact that I needed someone to give him a hug. The reason I picked Haru to give Yuki the news was because out of all the characters that knew about the incident, because of their relationship, Yuki would react most genuinely when with Haru. Besides, can you imagine Hatori giving Yuki a hug? it would be frigid!

Currently working on the next chapter, it wont be as long as this but I think it'll be less depressing.

I saw Nine Inch Nails live recently. Trent Reznor is so much more beautiful live. My brain hasn't been able to formulate grammatically correct sentences ever since then, so please excuse me. I just couldn't bother the lovely Lisa with it this time around.

Everybody go watch "Honey and Clover"! Everyone go listen to "Waltz" by Suneohair!


	26. A Decisive Place

A Warm Place

Disclaimer

I don't own Yummy Yuki or any Fruits Basket character. Fruits Basket belongs to Takaya Natsuki.

A continuation of the anime series laced with some obsessive hallucinations of mine.

_Italics_ thoughts

XXXXX

There were those that suffered with silent decorum, and there were those that vocalized the state of each and every cell within their body. There were those that plotted with a masquerade of innocence, and there were those who could not conceal a simple negative thought.

What was it that molded individuals into these states? Was it an inherent constitution or an acquired trait as a means of defense or vengeance?

Shigure hated the deceptive façade of an unmarred existence that people like Hatori and Yuki would often wear. He saw no reason in the persistence of these efforts, not while Akito habitually embellished every paper cut and broken nail. In the Sohma universe, torment was a shared trait, so why would one presume their own pain to be their fault alone and refuse to share their sentiments?

What a strange bunch they made. While their disposition united them in more ways than many normal families, the Jyuunishi could never truly act as one. Not in vocalizing their displeasure to the atrocities Akito committed against them, nor in attempting to defeat their cursed existence. Resignation and submission had long since been ingrained into each and everyone of them and Akito's fearful hold was stronger, even more terrifying than that of the curse. They couldn't afford to lose the little freedom, the humanity that Akito allowed them to retain. It was too risky, they wouldn't dare…

_Cowards._

Cowards they were, but it was out of necessity that their pretense of content perfection continued.

Regardless, if one was to master a mask of nonchalance in regards to distress, why not develop that sense in plotting an escape?

It would be beyond Hatori or Yuki to wish or plan reprisal, for they justified their circumstance to their own personal failures or shortcomings – a sentiment shared by many of their Jyuunishi comrades.

And those of the house that actually spared a thought to freedom, failed due to an utter lack of composure. Rin's tempestuous nature would be her proverbial downfall. Hiro was much too callous and vocal with his thoughts, Kyo had long since given up…and Yuki – Shigure had thought he'd be different. That day he finally reacted against Akito, Yuki's rage would've been sufficient to help him pummel his way out of Akito's prison and pave the way for the others.

_Where's that anger now, Yuki? _

It both was amusing and infuriating for Shigure to be surrounded by so many defeatists and amateurs, for he was a veteran with regards to control over his emotions and expressions. Quite simply, it was integral part of his plot.

With every passing day, the maintenance of his ambiguous mask would bring him closer to glorious success or utter failure.

So, it was no short of a surprise for him when he found his mask nearly crumbling today. Why did the sight of the young exhausted faces that greeted him evoke such a reaction? Anyone else would find the situation heartbreaking, but not him.

He could barely keep from laughing out loud.

Was it elated relief that everything would return to the way it was? The precious Rat returning obediently to his insistent Master's side without further harm to anyone? Was it amusement at Yuki's failed and resigned attempt at escaping his fate, or was it simply disappointment that the ultimate, inescapable fate of all was the same regardless of how much one may endeavor?

Or maybe it was Kyo's nearly hidden silhouette out side the door that was the source of Shigure's mirth? The redheaded teen's classic pretense of detached interest was far more transparent than the Shoji he was hiding behind.

Giving the door one last glance, Shigure returned to face Yuki and Hatsuharu. Behind Yuki's collected declaration to return to the main house, Haru looked to be in an inner struggle to preserve his fragile sanity and keep his infamous Black side at bay.

How could Shigure not smile?

Everything would return to what it was before, and Shigure's plot would proceed unhindered without the need for his interference.

Not that Shigure would have had any objection to dirtying his hands for achieve his heart's desire, but this time there would be none of that. He did not have to coerce Yuki into returning, nor would he have to endure Hatori's scolding tone and disappointed eyes. That would be the end for unforeseen actions and martyrs, Hatori and Ayame would soon heal, and there would be no more victims save for Yuki.

An acceptable sacrifice.

Indeed, how could Shigure not smile?

"You really are too kind." The novelist finally said, and there was no ulterior motive nor false facade behind those words. There was something about Yuki that drove others to act truthfully. Seeing Kyo's hovering form outside, Ayame's unprecedented interference, even Hatori's impromptu injury…

Even Shigure's honest words.

How could anyone question Yuki's value to Akito?

Now, it was time for all the pieces to fall to their designated places and the main players to act out their assigned roles.

Yuki's influence, whether intentional or not, was a powerful tool, one that even Shigure dreaded, for fear of becoming prey to it. Sheltering Yuki assured Shigure that he'd never be alienated by the Sohma clan, and the teen had served his purpose well. The pretense of benevolent shelter was no longer necessary, after all kindness never really suited Shigure.

"Much too kind, Yuki Kun."

XXX

The car's engine hummed softly amongst the sounds of chirping birds and swaying trees as it waited for its designated passengers. Three forlorn teens stood by quietly, unsure as to what to do as they waited for Shigure to join them.

"You can't make me lie." Kyo suddenly stated, startling the other two. "If she asks I'm telling her what's going on."

Yuki rolled his eyes in exasperation as Haru worriedly looked on. "I wouldn't expect you to, and I never said I would lie to her either."

"What! What the hell did you say then? You better not have said anything that would make her cry, you bastard!"

"I should say the same to you, since you don't have an ounce of discretion in your body." The demeaning look in Yuki's eyes was far more insulting than his words.

"Why you—"

"You'll wake her." Haru began, coming between them and meeting Kyo's glare calmly. "Then there wouldn't be a point in arguing about upsetting her."

"Don't worry, Baka Neko." Yuki began, appearing from behind his taller cousin. "I just said that I need to go back and try to make things right."

"If becoming Akito's pet is making things right." The redhead mumbled.

"Is there really a point in discussing this? I have a headache and this isn't helping."

"Do you need something for your headache?" Haru turned to face Yuki, reaching out to feel his forehead.

"It's a headache, not a fever, Haru." Was Yuki's annoyed reply, as he pushed the questioning hand away. "What are we waiting for anyway? What _is_ Shigure doing?"

XXX

"They're all glaring at me and I don't know why, Ha San. I can't stand for one more person to be upset with me!" Shigure moaned as he moved away from the front door and the irritated teenagers' range of vision. "Yuki Kun made this decision all on his own, why won't you believe me?"

Hatori's grip on the phone tightened with barely restrained fury as he demanded, "Who told him?"

"Well, since _I_ didn't say anything, I'm presuming Ha Kun did. But, I don't know what or how much he was told."

More questions plagued Hatori's mind; what exactly had Yuki been told? How Hatsuharu had come to discover what had happened and more importantly, who else knew?

It had to be those nosy maids; they seriously needed to be sedated.

"He's not stupid nor selfish, Ha San. He knows what's waiting for him. Did you really expect him not to return?"

"I know, but…" _But, what will that do to Ayame?_

"He'd not going to collapse the moment he sets foot on the property. Now, do you want us to come see you first?"

_What about what I--? _

sigh "If that's what Yuki wants, but I think Ayame would want to see him first. Though they should keep it short, Akito is impatiently waiting."

"If keeping it short was ever possible with Aya." Shigure chuckled.

"You're taking this much too lightly." Hatori grumbled, "It's so annoying."

"It is, isn't it? But it's all done, so why not just relax and take care of yourself and Aya? We wouldn't want that wound to scar his lovely face, now would we?"

"I think Ayame would be happy to have a scar as a memory of what he tried to accomplish. It would be a good reminder for him, even if things didn't work out."

"My my, how poetic of you, Ha San!"

"Its just common sense, idiot. You know how Ayame thinks."

"And now the two of you have a 'for the love of Yuki' scars I'll be left out! Its too bad Akito hadn't laid a hand on me."

"Akito already scarred your heart, Shigure. You just choose to associate the injury with something else. I'll see you when you get here."

CLICK

"Ouch." Shigure chuckled as he put his phone away, "He's in a extra bad mood today. Oh well, he'll get over it. Everyone will."

He took a moment to run a hand though his mussy hair, and straighten his clothes before joining the now quiet group and putting a compassionate hand on Yuki's slim shoulder.

"Yuki Kun! Please don't look so distraught. You know it could be worse."

The teen was thoughtful before smiling contritely. "Yeah, I guess it could. I could be moving in with Niisan."

"That's the spirit! Kyo Kun, you aren't coming are you?"

It would be unlikely for the redhead to decide to join them. At any rate, Shigure knew better than to bring him along. It wouldn't do to upset Akito any further, and it wouldn't bode well for Yuki to arrive side by side with his mortal enemy.

"HELL NO!" Kyo nearly screamed and turned away. "Someone has to stay here when Tohru wakes up!"

Yuki struggled to ignore the obvious bait. _I'm not leaving because I want to, you idiot!_ _I would never willingly leave her side unless she told me to go! _

He knew that the time for tears had passed. He hated himself for his earlier emotional display and lack of composure. His decision to return was so that the others would no longer worry. It didn't matter if he had no idea what awaited him at the Honke. It didn't matter if he was leaving the only place he had ever considered home and the first person to accept him wholeheartedly.

It didn't matter, because some one had once said 'what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger'.

Yuki hoped with all his heart that he'd survive to agree.

_Don't make it any harder than it already is_. He berated himself, feeling his breathing strain and his vision cloud with unshed tears.

He jumped as Haru's hand closed around his, clammy and trembling just like Yuki's was. The gesture was meant to comfort but it made Yuki all the more aware of the distress of those around him. It was time to go, and he wanted to express his thanks to Haru, to leave Kyo with some meaningful parting words, but he knew the moment he'd attempt to speak he'd embarrass himself even more.

He was Yuki, the Jyuunishi Rat. He had to pull himself together.

Swallowing back the stubborn tears, Yuki squeezed Haru's hand in gratitude and turned to Kyo, who was in turn struggling to speak. The two teenagers could easily read each other's confusion, trepidation and regret.

"I'm not going to apologize for the past, Kyo." Yuki said with finality. "It's going to take more than words to make everything right." _For us. Between us._

The redhead was speechless for an instant, and hated himself for suddenly feeling so emotional. "Don't you dare apologize, rat! I absolutely refuse to accept it!"

"Idiot! Weren't you listening? I said I'm _not _apologizing!"

"When you come back, you'll see it'll take a lot more than a wimpy apology to earn my forgiveness. I'll only consider it when I beat your skinny ass!" Kyo crossed his arms and smiled smugly despite the obvious misunderstanding.

Yuki didn't have the energy to argue, and let Kyo persist in his fantasies of victory. But, he couldn't help but smile in return.

Tohru would've been proud had she been a witness.

"We leave Tohru Kun is in your capable hands, then." Shigure waved, as he ushered Yuki and Haru into the car. "Though I'd watch were you put those hands, ok?" The writer quickly ducked inside and hoped the car would be gone before Kyo caught up with them.

"SHUT UP!" Kyo grabbed for the nearest heavy object and prepared to launch it at the departing vehicle.

"Stupid pervert." He mumbled, as he watched the car depart. "So stupid. We're all so stupid."

Minutes passed and the car was long gone and there was nothing to see; yet Kyo had no energy nor will to turn away. With unfocused eyes and an angry spirit, his exhausted spirit began to compose the words he would say at his own inevitable departure.

Even in his mind, he stumbled upon the words he wanted to say to her. And though he could hold not real hate for Yuki at the moment, the thought of the graceful Sohma leaving a poetic, touching note to Tohru angered Kyo. Yuki wouldn't even have to say goodbye in person to make her cry and miss him.

Kyo was so unlike Yuki. He would never make such a regal exist.

As the sky darkened and his vision grew dimmer, he hoped that if he let himself cry now, he'd have no more tears to shed when it was his turn to go.

XXXXX

I'm alive but I don't like this chapter. It reminds me too much of chapter 25. But it's been sitting 99.9 on my pc for about 4 months now. So, I think I'm just going to post it and hope that the next chapter makes up for its silliness. I was going to make Yuki apologize to Kyo initially, but I thought it would be too much of a victory for Kyo. He has to fight his own battles, right?

Thanks go out to everyone who reviewed and emailed. I love you all.

I'm working on 27, I swear! It's on my other browser right now!


	27. A Peaceful Place

Disclaimer I don't own Yummy Yuki or any Fruits Basket character.

Fruits Basket belongs to Takaya Natsuki.

A continuation of the anime series laced with some obsessive hallucinations of mine.

_Italics_ thoughts

XXXXX

Ayame had always liked the color red.

It served as a marvelous contrast to his pale porcelain complexion in addition to being a bold and glorious expression of his passionate and fiery personality.

Whether the red masqueraded as rose, vermilion or scarlet; Ayame's masterful eyes and skills had always succeeded in paying homage to this magnificent color.

With his superior eye for fervent fashion, Ayame was positive that there was no greater master of the color red than he.

Yet, when the very same skilled eyes looked upon the bloodied piece of gauze that Hatori had unwrapped from around his wound; they were lost.

Cringing, Ayame's artistic instincts immediately declared this particular red distasteful, ugly and completely unusable. It may have once been a bold shade of crimson, but now it was a faded, rusty reddish-brown.

Hideous.

Ayame could not foresee a complexion or an occasion that would call for its use. Its appearance opposed all the gallant and heartening feelings brought out by the marvelous color red. His sentiments were so strong about this issue that he deemed it necessary to share them, immediately and loudly with Hatori.

But, after being chided a good ten times for talking when Hatori needed silence to work, Ayame was forced to be alone with his thoughts once again. Glancing down at the bandage wrapped around Hatori's foot, lightly splashed with the same dreadful red that trickled down his own face mere minutes ago, Ayame was certain that this must be the most repulsive color he'd ever seen. His hands itched to rid Hatori of the red's cursed presence.

There was a reason this particular shade wasn't manufactured into assortments of silk, lace or ribbons: because this was the color of fear and hate, pain and despair.

And Hatori had worn it before.

When Ayame had chosen to distance himself from the Honke and the family affairs for his own selfish reasons, it was then that this accursed red first made its presence known to him. How it must've dripped off Hatori's handsome face and mingled with his shock, pain and hopelessness.

Ayame was no fool. He knew that whenever Akito was involved, misery and unhappiness were the proverbial results. He had sincerely prayed for Hatori's happiness though stopped short of directly involving himself.

Cowardly.

There was no one else Ayame could blame other than himself. When he wasn't buried under piles of silk and patterns, he would lament those foolish days when he should've been by his beloved cousin's side, because it was clear that Hatori's heart had never stopped bleeding.

The countless times he should've been by his brother's side. How many times had Yuki donned this color? How many times and in how many ways did that awful Akito make Yuki's heart and soul bleed this unsightly red? Ayame couldn't bear to think of Yuki, alone, broken and bloody once again.

Two of Ayame's most beloved people, torn away from him by this schism of grieving crimson.

It shamed Ayame to admit that he never really wanted to learn the gruesome details of the past. He was terrified to learn the truth of the suffering he evaded. So rather than ask his brother for details, he would attempt to overwhelm the gruesome past with flowery promises and adoration.

Ayame was too proud to admit his shameful weakness. While never directly suffered like the others, he was just as fragile as they were. He feared his family would part, and the deep rusty red they each wore would turn to a bitter, bottomless black.

"It's healing well." The Sohma doctor mumbled as he leaned back to examine his work, snapping Ayame out of his daze. "Soon, you wont even know its there."

Ayame didn't reply, threatened and angry at the revolting red that tarnished his family's happiness and tore him apart from them.

"Tori San."

Sigh "What is it?"

"You have a light tan complexion best complimented by neutral and earth shades. Yuki's favorable colorings should only be pastels and deep violet, blue and lilac!"

Hatori, naturally, was unable to follow Ayame's tumultuous train of thought. "Ayame, what are you trying to say?"

Ayame reached out to grasp Hatori's hands. "Tori San, promise me! Promise me that you will never, ever let yourself wear this dreadful red ever again. Not by choice, never again! Please help me ensure that no one ever wears it again!!"

When Hatori finally understood what the other had intended, he steadied Ayame's trembling hands within his own.

"It may be ugly, but it's also a symbol of our humanity and our struggle. I think it suits you as well, Ayame."

The Jyuunishi snake could only blink back in response. It couldn't be true! He wasn't worthy when there was so much he had to atone for!

Yet Hatori's eyes were smiling even more than his mouth was and even his half blind eye twinkled with sincere forgiveness.

Ayame lowered his head in shame, trying to hide his grateful tears. _Wonderful, wonderful Tori San. I could never be a hero like you or Yuki. I could never wear this color so magnificently._

"Ayame."

"Tori San, I…" _I can't be forgiven yet, please don't look at me like that. It gives me too much hope. _

"I always knew it would suit you, Ayame."

_Thank you, Tori San._

XXX

For as long as Yuki could remember, the Sohma complex had always towered over him. It never failed to frighten him or make him feel inferior. This feeling was now multiplied a thousand fold.

All those times he would curl upon himself in a dark corner of that cursed room, Akito would tower over him, whispering hurtful truths and beautiful lies.

That same Akito was waiting somewhere inside, angry and impatient, and only Yuki could appease him. The Jyuunishi Rat didn't know whether to feel flattered or disgusted.

One thing for sure, he felt more and more violated with each step he took towards the complex. This was where he lost his dignity, his self worth and hope.

Yet, it would be here that Yuki would hope to have enough influence to keep his fellow Jyuunishi from suffering. To let them have their dignity and dreams.

The longer he would dally, the harder it would become and Yuki was determined to make the most out of the situation.

But, first a short visit was in order.

XXX

His foot hurt. It really, really hurt. However, Hatori had no intention of taking painkillers. Yuki was on his way back and who knew what could happen then? Hatori couldn't afford to be half-sedated by narcotics.

So, he grit his teeth and bore the pain. He didn't deserve to be at rest until the others were. The pain would keep him alert and ready.

"Tori San!" Ayame called from where he was sitting, having found a needle and thread and currently adding 'an embroidery reflecting Tori-San's gentle wisdom' to a jacket of Hatori's he'd found in the office.

"…"

"I hope Tori San is prepared to ward off the new legions of admirers that will naturally flock to you once they read this symbolic expression of hope and devotion!"

"…"

" Now now! Don't be shy, Tori San. You know that it is your stoic nature that draws them to you. Maybe it would be better to keep your gentle wisdom to yourself, for your own safety! Fear not Tori San! I shall cherish and protect your secret with my own life!"

While Hatori absently lamented the loss of his jacket, at least Ayame was through moping. Now, if only he'd keep quiet.

"Tori San, what's with that face? You should be resting! You work too hard and don't relax enough."

"I'll rest later. Let me think in peace." Hatori turned in his swivel chair to face the window, hoping that Ayame would get the idea.

"Certainly, Tori San! You won't even know I'm here! Why, I'll be as quiet as a—"

_Finally, peace and quiet_. Hatori sighed with relief before realizing that Ayame had actually fallen silent.

What in the world would manage to silent Ayame?

Turning back to face his cousin, Hatori saw Yuki gently closing the door behind him as he entered the clinic.

_Well, at least it isn't Akito. _

Yuki's eyes drifted back and forth between Ayame's bandage to Hatori's. When he finally opened his mouth to speak, Hatori thought he seemed so much younger, weaker and lonelier. He struggled to his feet, but Ayame was faster. Ayame was also louder.

"What are you doing here, Yuki?" The elder brother demanded, "Why are you here?"

Yuki stiffened in his place, shocked by the unexpected onslaught.

Hatori almost fell back into his seat, stunned. He couldn't ever recall a time when Ayame actually looked _this_ irate.

"You will turn around and sneak back out just as you came this instant! I will not have Akito find you!"

"Wait a minute, I—"

"There's no time to argue! You have to leave right now or—"

"Or what?" Yuki heatedly challenged, "What right do you have to order me around? Do you think I came back to spite you and ruin your heroic image?"

"That's not it at all, I just—"

"There is no other way." Yuki snapped, "I'm tired of hiding."

"But—"

"Niisan." Yuki began, running a hand through his hair. He exhaled deeply, trying to regain his composure. "I'm sorry you and Hatori got hurt. But, did you really think that Akito would forget what he wanted just because he hurt others? If I don't return, all Akito is going to do is simply come to me, and I'm sick of waiting for the inevitable."

"Let us try, Yuki." Ayame countered, "Maybe we _can_ do something. Don't assume our efforts are futile when Tori San was selfless enough to…"

Yuki looked over at the individual in question as realization slowly dawned over him. _So, this is only about Hatori getting hurt…? Of course it is, this is Niisan after all. _

Hatori knew that things could only go downhill from this point unless he intervened. Sending Ayame a silencing look, he attempted to soothe the situation. "Yuki, that's not what Ayame means at all. I am -- we are -- willing to do anything to help."

The younger Sohma simply smiled in return. _I won't be foolish enough to think that I'm all they think about. It doesn't matter if they don't care about me or why they pretend to. _

_Maybe when I stop being a burden and rightfully earn my place…_

"Thank you." Yuki responded tiredly, although not unkindly. "You don't have to do that. You shouldn't have to do that."

_Maybe someday…_

"Listen to me Yuki, I _wanted_ to help you."

"Hatori. I didn't mean what I said before. I know you thought it was best at the time, and in hindsight, I'm grateful for what you did. That's why I know that you'll help me again when I ask you."

_Even if I grow weak, maybe someday…_

Ayame's rage evaporated the instant he saw his brother and dearest friend getting along so well. "Of course Tori San is always thinking of everyone's best interest, Yuki!" He clasped Yuki's shoulder warmly and smiled stunningly, forgetting all about his plan to chase Yuki out of the Honke.

Hatori, however, knew exactly what it was that Yuki was referring to and was far from impressed. He leveled Yuki with a hard look as he replied, "You don't mean that."

"Yes, I do." Yuki returned the look confidently. "I've been thinking, and concluded that this is the best thing to do. Akito won't have any power over me in that respect and everyone can be safe."

"You mean, everything…?"

"Since the last time, yes."

Hatori couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"I'm sorry to be asking so much of you, Hatori. But there is no one else who can do this."

The Sohma Doctor slumped back in his chair, visibly upset. However, he couldn't think of any rational argument. Yuki was right. Akito may not be able to emotionally blackmail Yuki with the safety of those he couldn't remember.

Yuki wouldn't suffer either, because he wouldn't remember the freedom and happiness of the past years away from the Honke. It was as if Yuki had never left Akito's passive world.

To force Yuki to willingly throw away his own happiness…it was so unfair.

So unfair.

Hatori couldn't stand seeing Yuki's submissive eyes any longer. It wasn't Yuki he was seeing anymore. He saw Kana's tormented eyes instead, and even his own cowardly ones.

_ "She wants to forget."_

_ "It would've been better if we had never met."_

_ "Her love for you is what's hurting her."_

_ "I'm sorry I couldn't protect you, Hatori."_

Speaking past the lump that suddenly formed in his throat, Hatori gave Yuki his response.

It was his curse after all, and what a rightful punishment it was.

XXX

Stepping out if the room, Yuki smiled down at Hatsuharu. His cousin seemed surprised to see that expression on Yuki's face and got to his feet from his perch by the door.

"Yuki…"

"I'm glad you came with me, Haru." Yuki said, still smiling. "But, I should see Akito alone."

"Let me walk you there."

The smile nearly faded when Yuki answered. "Thank you for the offer, but I really should go alone."

"Halfway there, then." Haru compromised. Yuki wanted to decline but before he had a chance, Haru had taken his hand and began to walk slowly towards the inner quarters.

Haru's hand felt warm and his grip solid, reminding Yuki of how much he had relied on Haru and the others recently. It was time to repay them. Even if he couldn't remember names or events, Yuki was certain that his heart wouldn't ever forget.

There was no more sadness or fear to feel. Yuki's resolve grew with each step he took until he caught up to Haru. Eventually, Haru's grasp weakened and his hand shook with frustration and apprehension. It was Yuki then, who steadied Haru's as they prepared to part.

Leaning forward to wipe away the stray tear that escaped despite Haru's calm demeanor, Yuki's heart felt so loved that it nearly broke.

No more regrets. There was nothing to regret.

_Maybe someday,_ Yuki thought as Haru's arms enveloped him closely. He held on just as tightly.

_No, someday I will… definitely. This feeling, this warmth…_

Akito would never be victorious because Yuki had already won.

_Definitely._

XXXXX

What a happy chapter! I'm still alive and I will finish this! Thank you everyone for your messages and threats!

P.s. I swear its not going to be a "Make a Wish" clone! Myra, believe me!!!

Anyone still reading? Hello? Echo


	28. A Treacherous Place

Disclaimer I don't own Yummy Yuki or any Fruits Basket character. Fruits Basket belongs to Takaya Natsuki.

A continuation of the anime series laced with some obsessive hallucinations of mine.

_Italics_ = thoughts

*****

"YUKI KUN!"

A shout, accompanied by hurried footsteps making their way down the stairs snapped Kyo out of his daze, and although he immediately got to his feet, he couldn't possibly have prevented the tumble that followed.

Rushing over to help her up, he found Tohru as shaken as he'd expected. Her hair was in disarray; her reddened eyes wide with panic and her cheeks flushed with feverish exhaustion. In her hand was a piece of paper that, despite her evident distress, remained neatly folded.

And he didn't even need to ask, for what else could it be but Yuki's note?

Kyo didn't second-guess himself this time; he knew that he had to take care of her. After all, it would only be the two of them now. The semblance of a family home he publicly cursed and loathed would soon disperse along with the illusion of safety it offered all. Yuki's departure left it shattered and irreparable and it would only be a matter of time before he too would go.

There was no time to lose.

Every second would count. Every second with her was one he had cherished despite the unprecedented urgency he felt. After all, what was Kyo's life before this? Before Tohru?

It was Tohru that held all them all together, held the broken pieces of the Sohma spirit together all this time, giving them hope and the courage to dare live beyond their curse. While Kyo was often annoyed by having so many of the family members constantly around him, and publicly claimed that solitude and Yuki's defeat was all he desired, he would clutch at those irritating fragments of this life to the very end.

Seeing her so shaken terrified him, and he struggled to remain calm. The adrenaline that rushed to his veins when confronting Yuki was absent with only the growing, sinking feeling in his stomach was left. More so than her constant worrying, it was the fact that he was alone in comforting her that shook him to the core. It was that there was nothing he could say or do to alleviate her concerns about Yuki.

Kyo knew there was nothing positive to say, and it terrified him to think that he wouldn't see her smile again. That he wouldn't be enough to placate her in Yuki's place.

Being a replacement for a perfect prince was a task as impossible as escaping the fate Akito planned for him.

He reached for her hands and she clung tightly to them in return, trying to draw strength from him as he did her. "Kyo Kun! Where is Yuki Kun?"

Looking away, he mumbled a response. "He's gone. He decided to go back on his own."

Gasping softly, Tohru nearly caused Kyo to transform when she collapsed in his arms. "No! We have to stop him, Kyo Kun. He can't! He can't…!"

His answer was silence. What else was he to say or do? Pride and tumultuous emotions prevented him from openly joining her in grieving (not that he _would_ have grieved for the Kuso Nezumi) and his curse stood as an insurmountable obstacle to holding her as sincerely desired. His mind surged with self-loathing for allowing the inevitable to happen and jealousy at seeing her so torn over his rival.

He was pathetic.

Yet, his heart cracked and splintered with each of her quiet sobs. His throat was suddenly too parched to speak and his eyes were inevitably going to embarrass him again.

_Damn you, Kuso Yuki. Couldn't you just go quietly? Why?_

He had to berate himself for this particular train of thought. Kyo had to remind himself that it was unfair to put all the blame on Yuki. The events of the last few weeks had broadened his mind slightly to see past his 'blame Yuki' tunnel vision. It wasn't all Yuki's fault—well, at least this particular incident wasn't.

Looking down at the sobbing girl in his arms, Kyo recalled not too long ago, when it was Yuki who was looking back at him with the same miserable, tear-filled eyes. And once again, Kyo was at a loss for words. What could he say to comfort her? He wasn't eloquent or diplomatic; he was no good at anything except stating facts and picking fights. Considering the possible outcome of the situation, it maybe quite a while before they see Yuki again — if ever.

How could he tell her that?

Perhaps it would be better for Tohru to forget about Yuki – at least for the time being. Given that Yuki wanted Tohru to be safe, it was imperative that she stayed away from the Honke. She had her own dreams and wishes, didn't she? What would the point of all of this be if no one were to triumph in the end? Yuki _wanted _Kyo to look after her in his absence. While it was never voiced, Kyo was certain of it. Despite all the fighting and hate between them, there was a mutual understanding between them that Tohru was to be cared for.

And as much as Kyo downplayed how much he cared for Tohru in front of others, he couldn't ever deny it to himself. He needed her in his life like he needed air. Yuki was gone now and whether he would return or not was unknown, nonetheless irrelevant at the time being. If Kyo was to ever atone for what he had done in the past, if he was ever to find meaning in his exiled existence, if he ever was to have a shot at it – was through her.

In a way, this circumstance was indeed a blessing, wasn't it? With Yuki away, Akito's promise couldn't ever be fulfilled because Kyo wouldn't be given the opportunity to fight Yuki again. Better yet, maybe Akito would be so happy with Yuki by his side that he'd forget all about Kyo and that dreadful promise. The Rat would continue to be revered despite his imprisonment and that was fair, wasn't it? The Rat's imprisonment for the cat – for all the suffering the cat has endured over the centuries.

Tohru would understand, wouldn't she?

Meanwhile, it was time to move on. He would help her move on.

"Tohru, Yuki really did decide to go on his own. If he didn't go, that bastard Akito would just drag him back there. He didn't want to complicate things for everyone."

_But I'm still here for you! _His eyes pleaded with her. _I'm still here!_

"Poor Yuki Kun." She responded brokenly, "He must have been so afraid. Its so terrible!"

"Yeah. Yeah, he was… scared." _He damned well fell apart!_

"Its unfair, Kyo Kun! Yuki Kun worked so hard and Akito San just takes it all away!"

"Akito's a bastard." Kyo agreed, thinking that if she were able to rant, she would eventually feel better. After all, he usually dealt with stress that way.

"He must've felt so alone."

Kyo flinched involuntarily at that. He had known about it well in advance, yet was powerless to stop the flow of events. The guilt began to rise to the surface again and along with it was a sense of worthlessness. _He_ had known, and Yuki was aware of it. Was it any help to Yuki at all? Did Yuki really feel alone this whole time? He had called Yuki and ingrate yet he couldn't deny it. It was Haru at the end that comforted Yuki while Hatori and Ayame put themselves altruistically in the line of fire. Was Kyo's involvement of no consequence? All those turbulent confrontations and sleepless nights…even miracle worker Tohru couldn't have changed anything.

Right?

Reaffirming his uselessness. Why couldn't he just bury all this resentment and become someone Tohru could depend on, as she did Yuki. Someone his surrogate father would be proud to call 'son'?

Yet, Tohru seemed to inexplicably sense his gloom. Without a hint of neither accusation nor innuendo, she tightened her hold on his hands and gently asked. "But, you knew Kyo Kun. Am I right?"

"Huh?" He responded intelligently. "What?"

_How did…?_

Her words were hushed as she struggled to maintain her composure. "In the woods…I heard you and Yuki Kun. I didn't hear very much, but I know. I know that you…I know that he…"

_OH SHIT!_

"Tohru, Listen! It isn't anything like that. It was all a misunderstanding!"

"But Kyo Kun sounded so angry! Was it really a misunderstanding? Yuki Kun didn't try to—"

"Y-yeah! That K-Yuki wouldn't do anything like that. He isn't that stupid, right? It would be a stupid thing to do, right?" The redhead stumbled over all his words, and his performance was far from convincing. Both of them knew it, although he would never budge from this stance and she would never pursue it for it hurt the both of them too much to speak openly about this.

Yet her eyes held his; searching, imploring, waiting…

"Thank you, Kyo Kun. I didn't know about it, but you did. Thank you for helping Yuki Kun. I'm sure that it made him so happy to know that you cared."

"…"

"I feel so stupid. I could sense that something was wrong, even if Yuki Kun wouldn't talk about it. He wanted to protect me, and I appreciate that. But—but doesn't he know that I want to protect him too?"

"Tohru –"

"I don't want us to be apart! Not like this, not when it's against Yuki Kun's wishes!"

"There is nothing that could be done, though!" Kyo countered, "Don't you think Hatori and Shigure already tried? Do you think the others would have just stayed quiet if there was anything that could've been done? That's just the way it is for us. Akito orders us and we obey it. All we can do is damage control."

"Damage control?"

"Bottom line is, Yuki went without a fight because he wanted to protect the others and protect you. So we have to stay away and not interfere."

"You mean he wants us to abandon him?"

Kyo started to get frustrated with the other. Why was she making things so difficult? How could she _still _not understand the workings of the Sohma family? Why was she insinuating it was such a terrible thing to leave things the way they are?

"Listen Tohru," Kyo began in a serious tone. "If we piss Akito off, all of us will get locked up. We're not abandoning him, but we can't save him and he doesn't expect us to. He expects everyone to get on with their lives and you to be safe and finish school like you promised your Mom."

It was as if he had slapped her. All the color drained from her face as she looked up at him. And Kyo felt the world collapsing around him, as if he's crossed a terrifying point of no return.

"I don't believe it." The girl whispered brokenly. "I don't believe what you're telling me, Kyo Kun. Even though its what you're expected to say, I can't believe that its what you honestly feel."

"…"

"I know its not how you feel, Kyo Kun. That day in the forest, even if you had misunderstood, when you were shouting at Yuki Kun, it was because you cared about him so much that you had to tell him how wrong it was."

"…"

"And its because he cares about us that he left. Aren't I right, Kyo Kun? If we care about him, and he us, how could we just abandon our friend like that?"

Now, it was he who was rendered speechless. Was she out of her mind? Care for Yuki? _Care for Yuki?_

"I know its not impossible, Kyo Kun. Whether you were aware of it or not, it must be true!"

He still couldn't find the words to respond to her insane, unfounded accusations. How could she say that about him? Yuki was the source of all his suffering! Yuki was his natural enemy in everyway possible! Yuki was self centered and arrogant and Kyo was the victim.

It wasn't possible that he actually cared about Yuki, because that bastard certainly did not care about Kyo! He didn't even apologize at the end! He didn't even…

"Yuki Kun told me to trust him, to believe that he cherishes the time we spent together no matter what it may seem like, or what Akito san may make it seem like."

"Well, of course. But, what does that have to do with me?" Kyo replied, uncomfortable with where this was going. Couldn't she see how upset he was about this? The last thing he needed to be reminded of was how wonderful Yuki was and what a good time she and him had spent together. "Its obvious that you and he have this _special _understanding and…"

"As I do with you, Kyo Kun! So please, please hear me out!" Tohru cried, desperate not to be misunderstood. Kyo was far more saddened about the outcome than he would ever admit. Tohru would never push him more than he could go, however there wasn't any time to waste.

None of them could afford a waste a minute. She would never accept this outcome.

"This letter wasn't addressed only to me, Kyo Kun. You're in here as well! When Yuki Kun wrote that he didn't want to trouble anyone anymore, he must've meant you! After all, wasn't it you who—"

"Tohru." Kyo interrupted her; weary of the conversation and its emotional burden. He had never felt more powerless in his whole life. "It doesn't matter what he said in the letter so you don't have to try. What matters is that we don't make this any worse for him or anyone else."

Why was she being so stubborn? He didn't care if Yuki mentioned him in that precious letter. He didn't expect to be mentioned so it didn't matter.

The only thing that mattered was keeping her safe: his hopes and dreams lay with her. If she was gone, then what would he have left?

"But I—"

"It doesn't matter!" he piercingly declared, with absolute finality. "I will never let you within a mile radius of the Honke! Don't you understand? I won't lose anyone else!"

Only when he took note of her trembling lower lip did he realize how loudly he had yelled. And when a stray tear made its way down a palled cheek, he realized how cruel it had been. Under different set of circumstance it would have been amusing to note that the only thing that he didn't notice was his declaration, and what exactly he had said.

Nonetheless, Kyo was engrossed in his determination. If cruelty was going to keep her away from Akito, then so be it.

He couldn't…wouldn't take anything he said back. All that would do is give her hope, and he had to crush any hope of successful interference. Her dedication was a favorite character of his, and knowing how stubborn she was and how far she'd go, he made the choice to use any means to stop her.

So what if she hated him at this moment? He arrogantly knew it wouldn't last. She couldn't stay mad at anyone, even if they meant nothing to her! He almost laughed out loud in his delirious thinking.

Turning his back to her, hardening his resolve as he expected her to sobbingly leave the room to hers. Cruelty had worked with Yuki, didn't it?

He felt like the monster Akito referred to him as, but there was nothing he wouldn't do for her. Nothing he wouldn't subject himself to.

Nothing.

He waited for the sound of her soft footsteps as she would leave the room, yet they never moved. There was only the sound of her gently hesitant voice.

"Dearest Honda San,

I write this letter to you to convey what I can't say to you in person. It is no fault of yours; only my weak inability is to blame. I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for everything you've ever done for me, said to me… Being near you has brought me more happiness than I imagined possible. I cherish every moment you spent with us in a place you helped us learn to call home.

I can't fully explain the current situation to you, and it pains me to keep it from you. Honda San, please know that it is only because of how much I care about you that it has to be this way.

More than anything, I want you to fulfill your promise to your mother. I realize that you cannot help but worry about others but I beg you, do not worry about me. I have made a decision I do not regret. I do not wish to trouble you or anyone else, and I'm thankful for everyone's efforts. And so, I take with me the wonderful memories you shared with me and the courage you taught me.

No matter what happens from now on, know that this is how I truly feel. No matter what others or Akito may say. No matter what it may seem."

Kyo remained as he was before she started reading, fighting himself for composure as she read. Part of him wanting to silence her and put an end to the ordeal, while another part longing to hear Yuki's parting words and what Tohru was referring to earlier. Though, it was as he expected, there was nothing but praise for Tohru and Yuki's self-sacrificing babble. He quickly jumped to his feet and turned to address her again.

Yet it was her who spoke.

"Kyo Kun." She said softly, "Its not that I don't understand the situation, or your feelings. But this letter has such a finality to it that terrifies me more than anything."

"Good!" Kyo replied dismissively, "Then Yuki made his case loud and clear. You said that it was against his will, but he's telling you that's it's his decision so, let things be and don't overanalyze everything."

Tohru shook her head in disagreement. How could Kyo not see what she was getting at? Yuki's letter was far more than a goodbye. Tohru could feel that there was something Yuki was trying to tell her that she couldn't grasp.

"Kyo Kun, please! Read this with me, Yuki Kun is trying to tell us something and—"

"No, Yuki isn't trying to tell us anything. This letter is addressed to you and there's nothing in there for anyone else to understand. There is no mystery to solve." He resorted to pleading, "Tohru, stop doing this to yourself. Yuki is asking you to move on with your life. Please, don't try to interfere. It'll backfire and all of this would've been for nothing!" What was it with this girl? Will nothing stop her?

"But—"

"Just be grateful that Yuki left on his own, and that he was able to tell you about how he felt. It's just too hard for everybody, but we have to accept reality." _It's so hard for me so watch you suffer._ _So please! _

"I can't!" She sobbed, "I can't just turn my back on Yuki Kun as if he wasn't an important part of my life. Even if Akito San—" She stopped in the midst of her passionate outburst, trying to comprehend what had been eluding her.

"Tohru, what is it?" The redhead rushed to her side, grasping both of her arms gently.

Tohru blinked slowly and looked down at the letter in her hands, her voice shaking as she verbalized her thinking. "Akito San can't take away those memories from us so we can't forget our time with Yuki Kun. But…What if he takes those memories away from Yuki Kun?"

"WHAT?" Kyo all but yelled. "What do you mean? Hatori would never listen to Akito if he commanded it. The only person he—" Kyo too realized exactly what it was that troubled Torhu about the letter.

With a sinking heart, he finally understood why Yuki left without a fight. It wasn't just that he was afraid of the consequences; it was because the now hopeless Yuki had no choice but to beat Akito at his own game.

Despite his better judgment and everything he had been trying to convince Tohru of up to this point, Kyo could not keep this to himself.

It was as she had said: this was not an acceptable resolution.

_Yuki, you damn bastard! Didn't I tell you to leave quietly?! _

"Yuki isn't going to let Akito threaten him anymore, because he's planning to erase everything."

*****

Yuki you bastard! Enough drama already!

The next chapter is coming sooner than you think, I swear.


End file.
